Good evening, everyone! I hope you've been writing poems today! Welcome back to my poetry club either way!
Word of the thread is "fragment"! Alternatives are 'frost' and 'ether'.
As always, if anyone would like to try their hand at writing some poetry, this is your chance! Actually, today is a great chance! If you need something to write about, these words are here to guide you or give you a topic, so consider using one of them! It's like a shortcut so you don't have to think up your own topic and decide. Your choice was made for you! Everyone is more than welcome to join in regardless of skill level, so don't be afraid to try this out if you're new! Even if you've never written something before, just go ahead and give it a try, okay? It's not as bad as you think. And once you do, I'm sure that if you ask for advice, people will tell you what you need to do to improve (if you care about that). I hope you all have fun and I'm looking forward to reading your poems!
I didn't know it was World Poetry Day! How fun! Monika!
Alright, well picture this. I went into this game with near virgin eyes, my friend showed me a bully maymay of Sayori hanging, about 3 months ago, thought nothing of it. I went through the game with that in mind, so this is most likely why. BTW I did go for both the JUST monika ending and the everyone except monika ending.
"Oh... you removed the file with my name on it from the character folder... I guess that means you don't want me around anymore." Monika turns the background into a long stretch of highway.
She starts walking down it. She turns back to look at you with a sad pouty face. keeps walking turns back again with the same face. repeats this for a little while till you almost can't see her. She sits down crosslegged and takes a smokebreak till act 4 starts.
Aight lads! Gonna be posting this for a few threads or so, if you've read it already feel free to ignore this post. I'm going to be taking a break from "Four Girls and the Cursed Treasure of Coyotli" for a short while. I'd rather not go into details but I have a few personal issues with the project. As a result, I'm going to put the series on hold and write some other stuff. For those that haven't been reading the series or have missed parts, here's every chapter to date and a short plot synopsis.
Lieutenant user and his men are on voyage to Spain to settle some political differences when they're set upon by the 'Heartbeat.' A ship pioneered by captain Monika and crew. After a battle under pink sails the four girls reign victorious and kidnap Lieutenant user due to his ties to a treasure they're hunting. Join Monika, captain of the 'Heartbeat.' Natsuki the navigator and gunslinger. Yuri the professional sword master and Sayori the ships cook and ray of sunshine. Not to mention their reluctant passenger Lieutenant user as they face dangers and pursue riches beyond their wildest dreams!
Hope you lads enjoy the series if you decide to pick it up! Maybe I'll come back to it someday but for now I think I need this break. Have a good one you lot.
Yeah, I made the edit just for that post. Beautiful, isn't it? >she's been "temporarily" canned for the time being. I'm moving on to comfier works I don't really mind that the series was canned: it was becoming obvious that you weren't enjoying it. Though I will read whatever else you post, mate. See ya later.
Luis Martinez
Did you niggas really cry at this? Sayori's death did make me feel fucking awful but the game wasn't particularly sad I believe the only instances where a game has made me cry were AI Nanami's death in DR2 and Because You Where There from Mother, I cannot ever listen to it without tearing up The ending credits of SM after Lillie left was close as well and I actually haven't gotten around finishing USUM because I don't want her to leave again
Friendly reminder that the Doki Doki Literature Club General - /ddlc/ does NOT condone any of the following:
- Underage drinking - Self harm - Suicide and suicide attempts - Substance abuse (Any) - Waifu wars - Waifu bullying - user bullying - Heating water for your tea on the microwave (Please buy a[n electric] kettle) - Not doing your best to be the user your waifu would like - Staying up late - Mental reconditioning probably
And, finally, you are encouraged to try/cry and exercise both your body with a healthy walk around the block or a flight of stairs in your daily commute and your creativity by writing texts of any kind.
It's fucking hilarious desu, good work >it was becoming obvious that you weren't enjoying it. I was enjoying it, real life issues were making it a bit of a pain but I was still enjoying writing nonetheless. It's been canned for other reasons that I went into in the other thread
Jose Baker
>tfw mom's name is Monika >smokes Marlboro >see this post >mfw
At first it was just sad and deflating and the more I dwelt on it, the worse it got. It's still kind of a downer to think about but I think I might have accumulated enough retardant to put the feelings off until Danlet shits it all up. I haven't played the new Pokemon games so I can't assume much but I do remember Pokemon Mystery Dungeon/2 getting me good from out of nowhere.
Robert Cooper
my fingers are fragments connected by tissue and they are falling apart
my happiness is fragments sewn with hope fluttering away in the breeze
it comes together in patches a messy quilt in the countryside
Ryan Scott
>making fun of people for crying at ddlc >almost cried at the ending of fucking pokemon
Elijah Hall
self-made but in all seriousness, I wouldn't hear the end of it once she starts preaching about how unhealthy this shit is.
No! I haven't cried in years! I've wondered if this is part of growing up to be a man, or if I'm just emotionally stunted! Surely its the former! I mean, I can still feel rage, so it can't be the latter! Not just upset at losing a video game "rage", the kind that school shooters must feel! The feeling of crushing, inexplicable weight that no one else can really understand!
back when I was stuck in a facility, there were two things everyone wanted smokes and shaves yes, there's nothing like the feeling of a fine shave to get that itchy feeling off your neck/legs hoo boy did everyone envy the lucky souls that could shave imagine a place where shaving was that amazing
Samuel Thompson
i wasn't trying to goad you or anything people really wanted to shave in that place
Luis Morales
>Marlboro Reds You've perked Slav Yuris interests. Don't give in lad, stay strong!
When does the self improvement phase kick in? I've started missing some lectures at my uni as I can just look through the notes online and I wasn't in the mood of getting out of bed. Hopefully I'll hit rock bottom during the easter break
Oh, nah it's just there's so much about DDLC that directly relates to my life, it's uncanny and it just keeps happening.
Aaron Bell
>Did you niggas really cry at this? Nah man, just felt devastated for a good while and still haven't moved on, and now, after a few months, I kinda don't want to. I did tear up when seeing this webm for the first time, because it gave me the strongest case of >ywn feels yet. >ywn feel her soft silky hair with your hand >ywn see her happy and smiling at you like that
Her doing something completely out of character is why it's funny...
Samuel Harris
It depends what you're doing. Feeling chased into a corner is a good motivator that could compound with your doki for some, but if you're taking serious chances you might overwhelm yourself. I'm not sure if I'd have liked something like this in college or if it would have weighed me down myself though so I can't be too insightful.
You went and wrote out how you feel, which is more than I can say for my poem.
>Trough Through
>They never leave me behind for some reason changing the tense makes it sound better to me "They've never left me behind"
>still is this word necessary?
>even though although?
>makes me leaves?
>morning comes when morning comes?
>becouse because this and maybe the previous line needs that sharp rush of reality when you remember her face is lost to you, I'm not sure how you would make that happen though
>it's time to doesn't have the punch i expected
that's what i thought at least
Cameron Watson
About a minute ago I was listening to this youtube.com/watch?v=Q-klPc3JWDE But my headphones just snapped in two Looks like another frustrated all-nighter to buy headphones as soon as I can
Mason Allen
>When does the self improvement phase kick in? That's not how it works, user...
>I guess no more poems for me. Not him, but don't get discouraged just because of some spelling mistakes lad, it happens to the best of us. Keep on trying, no sense in giving up aye?
>turned cold by the that's an unusually simple way to put it after you set the bar so high
>a mind so dumb/making so flat the drum excellent. rhythm works perfectly in these two lines
>no hope survives here again, clumsy
>algorithm/equation i personally dislike these words because they are so emotionless (there's no "you" in those words) and don't paint much of a picture they just say "look! it's mathy! computers!" and wastes so many syllables to do so
Charles Richardson
I'd like to avoid discussion like this, but seeing as some of you here might have some experience, I'd like to ask: Is there any point to going to see a therapist/psychiatrist?
It feels so pointless and a waste of money when I'm already unemployed, broke and depressed
As long as i don't even have the basics of this language down there is no point. No point in trying put my feelings into words if i sound like a retard while doing so.
Gavin Cook
it was only two typos i'm looking through ways to save on syllables so it flows better, the english itself is fine
Zachary Reed
It's helped me with my issues and helped me uncover a lot of stuff about myself, but I can't speak for everyone.
Oliver Gonzalez
didn't you say "any and all feedback is welcome"? quit worrying about your english so much and try to have fun just playing with the words, giving form to your feelings i'd critique stuff by e.e. cummings or shel silverstein in this thread because i'm bored, why are you discouraged?
Nolan James
I studied English for 10+ years and I still fuck up once in a while, and there's people whose mother tongue is English and still make way more retarded mistakes like mixing your and you're or there, they're and their Besides you at least know 2+ languages, a lot of English speakers don't even bother learning a second one because they just assume everyone's gonna learn English eventually, so don't get too bummed over some typos
Jack Johnson
Personally I think that a good amount of willpower, going outside more while rejecting pornography along with Better eating habits can do much more for you than relying on chemicals that you hardly know the ingredients for then again I’m a very traditionalist *former* Nazi sympathizer who isn’t a therapist or has ever picked up a book on phycology so don’t take my word as gospel
Benjamin Young
I'll be frank, if you get discouraged that quickly, you will never be a good writer.
Michael Green
a therapist was useful to me as a sounding board a psychiatrist not so much since it turned out I didn't need the drugs there might be ways to take advantage of the healthcare system where you live so you don't have to pay so much
Levi Smith
>I didn't need the drugs You got better without them? I'd like to hear the story, user.
Angel Price
My mom's a psychologist and I'm still fucked so no, and while we're at it antidepressants are also a fucking meme and don't do shit
Elijah Sanchez
what other games are there where qt anime girls fall in love with (You)?
Henry Bell
Pretty much any romance visual novel.
Jace Stewart
it turned out the high pressure academic environment and burnout combined was what was causing me to break down i 180'd when i entered in college and pulled my grades up from Bs and Cs to straight As i hope you can see how much emphasis i'm putting on this being a personal experience unique to me
Xavier Cooper
Sonic the Hedgehog (2006)
Jonathan Myers
nah, I mean (You), not the MC in the game
Brayden Richardson
Poetry doesn't require any fancy techniques or big long words, they're bonuses. If you can get your words down onto a page, that's more than enough to start with, keep writing and you'll improve eventually. Not to mention, writing itself is a good way to practice the language, so if you do continue to write you'll learn in due time. Don't let criticism get you down lad, use it for the better.
Carter Campbell
Can't help you out there, sorry.
Nicholas Kelly
>he wants to play a generic VN he won’t just go to /vn/ to find one
it's not that it's about being good... sayori and natsuki wrote as outlets for their emotions and were extremely reluctant to share and i don't want people to think their english would get in the way of an activity for everyone to express themselves
Gabriel Price
>tfw dont play ddlc for months >tfw reconstructed dokis in my mind as wholesome anime girls from all the cute fics n pics >tfw listening to the OST with all the weirder spooky tracks >slowed down Play With Me track begins that plays at Yuri suicide >sped up My Feelings play from Yuri eyepop scene >tfw forgot all the fucked up stuff that happens in the game >tfw forgot all the fucked up stuff that happens to my doki(s) >tfw ow
Anyone else know this feel?
Carson Harris
NOnononono He's only pointing out words that sound more poetic The grammar was great, but that's the issue with poetry in another language, because breaking it right is even more hard, and that's basically poetry.
Jack Turner
Not really. I still remember it all.
Jonathan Howard
>changing the environment Yep, I see. Thanks for explaining.
Nicholas Hernandez
I agree, Here's an improved version Ether swirling, lost, alone, ensnaring itself with vicious introspection
And under the ether is a frigid heart, frozen by ensnared frosts above.
A mind so dumb, making so flat the drum, all hope planted dies here, only the cold calculated, and feared.
Just as primordial soup, the fragments create order, an DNA for a boundless direction, and a mitochondrion of hopeful flames.
A zero-sum game broken, heart aflame producing light, shining upon the frosty ether, warming it to be human.
Brandon Turner
Ah fucked up with the >all hope planted dies here, >only the cold, calculated, and feared.
Instead all hope planted dies here, fertile for the cold, calculated, and feared.
