Albert the mercenary

>be Albert the mercenary
>be born
>get killed by a random arrow

>Be Albert the mercenary
>Rape a qt
>Die of some godawful STD

...

We made it into a meme....I'm...so proud guys..

>be Albert the mercenary
>get maimed enough that you can't fight anymore
>fellow mercenaries abandon you
>nothing to do anymore
>feelsbadman

>be Albert the mercenary
>The enemy wants you ded because you're trying to kill them
>The allies want you ded so they don't have to pay you

explain this meme you fags

>be Albert the mercenary
>go fight a war because le loot lol
>get anally raped by your allies before getting anally raped by your enemies
>survive the rapes
>crawl out of the battlefield
>get your head crushed by a horse

>be Albert the mercenary
>go fight a war because le loot lol
>get anally raped by your allies before getting anally raped by your enemies
>become a sex slave
>develop Stockholm Syndrome
>starting liking the endless rapes
>become cum slut
>get executed once the slavers realize you like it

...

>be Giuseppe the condottiero
>be born
>enlist in a condottieri free company
>larp fight another condottieri free company in a meme """"war"""" over an olive grove or something who the fuck knows
>make mad florins or ducats or whatever they're paying us in now, go home, plow some qt Italian whores, show off my rad scars that I got getting rowdy with the lads at camp to impress the folks back home

Pimping ain't easy

>be Giuseppe the condottiero
>be born
>enlist in a condottieri free company
>make mad florins fighting in all the phony bologna "wars" with other condottieri
>war of league of cambrai starts
>france and spain get involved
>they bring their armies
>wow that's a lot of dudes, where is their bitching armor and swords though?
>they start battering down city walls
>wait that wasn't supposed to happ-

>be Sigismund the lord
>get besieged
>councilor tells me of an ancient passage that leads me to safety
>hurry my family through
>on the other side is the enemy army
>mfw I realize councilor was lying
>mfw they take the castle
>mfw my daughter is raped by Albert

Veeky Forums approved Kenny

Veeky Forums produces the best memes

edgy

>be Albertahoc the mercenary
>can't wait to fight!
>it's the fucking conquistadors oh fuck oh fu-
>get hit by a bullet
>die

This predates Veeky Forums.

Almost trolled me

>Be Albert the mercenary
>Hire assassin's to kill the king
>Get crowned as king by my assassin's
>Get killed

kek

P O T T E R Y
O
T
T
E
R
Y
>directed by George Lucas

more like
>be Albertahoc the mercenary
>can't wait to fight!
>these new conquistadors seem cool and they need some help killing the aztecs
>give them a hand since no one likes the aztecs anyway
>bask in the warmth of victory
>then die from a foreign disease your body has no resistance to

>be albert
>wife & kid dies in childbirth
>local farmers lose the harvest to a drought and subsequent fire
>decide to join sigismund's mercenary army because nothing is left for you in shitholesburg
>forced march for months to relieve some siege in a land you've never heard of
>die of dysentery days before the battle
>sigismund loses anyway

>be Albert the mercenary
>bump thread
>die