I'm a Jew. Convert me to your religion

I wouldn't. I'd just ask you to stop killing my people.

no, only Northern Europeans may be apart of our faith.

Now therefore the sword shall never depart from thine house; because thou hast despised me, and hast taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be thy wife.

Then said Jesus unto him, Put up again thy sword into his place: for all they that take the sword shall perish with the sword.

It would be moronic to go from G*d's Chosen Ones to filthy mud-eating goy.

Sure, step into my office

WOLOLO

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.

Then we ought not to retaliate or render evil for evil to anyone, whatever evil we may have suffered from him. But I would have you consider, Crito, whether you really mean what you are saying. For this opinion has never been held, and never will be held, by any considerable number of persons; and those who are agreed and those who are not agreed upon this point have no common ground, and can only despise one another, when they see how widely they differ. Tell me, then, whether you agree with and assent to my first principle, that neither injury nor retaliation nor warding off evil by evil is ever right. And shall that be the premise of our agreement? Or do you decline and dissent from this? For this has been of old and is still my opinion; but, if you are of another opinion, let me hear what you have to say. If, however, you remain of the same mind as formerly, I will proceed to the next step.

>If I had to baptise a Jew, I would take him to the bridge of the Elbe, hang a stone round his neck and push him over with the words "I baptise thee in the name of Abraham"
t. Martin Luther

There is no evidence of god and no reason to believe in one. The concept of faith is stupid. Become an athiest and move on to do something that actually benefits society.

why

1816 January 9. (Jefferson to Charles Thomson). "I too have made a wee little book, from the same materials, which I call the Philosophy of Jesus. it is a paradigma of his doctrines, made by cutting the texts out of the book, and arranging them on the pages of a blank book, in a certain order of time or subject. a more beautiful or precious morsel of ethics I have never seen. it is a document in proof that I am a real Christian, that is to say, a disciple of the doctrines of Jesus, very different from the Platonists, who call me infidel, and themselves Christians and preachers of the gospel, while they draw all their characteristic dogmas from what it’s Author never said nor saw. they have compounded from the heathen mysteries a system beyond the comprehension of man, of which the great reformer of the vicious ethics and deism of the Jews, were he to return on earth, would not recognise one feature. if I had time I would add to my little book the Greek, Latin and French texts, in columns side by side, and I wish I could subjoin a translation of Gassendi’s Syntagma of the doctrines of Epicurus, which, notwithstanding the calumnies of the Stoics, and caricatures of Cicero, is the most rational system remaining of the philosophy of the ancients, as frugal of vicious indulgence, and fruitful of virtue as the hyperbolical extravagancies of his rival sects."13

Isaiah 53

>implying Martin Luther could get Jews to take baptism
Remember that he got BTFO when he tried to get them to convert, and became eternally butthurt about it.

>I am a true christian because I decontextualized Jesus quotes in order to support a narrative that I like.

Seems accurate.

Sorry, my religion is only good for you if it's good for you. If it doesn't work for you then you're better off with something else.

signed, a Christian not behaving as expected

Your entire religion is focused around waiting for a Messiah that'll never come, because if said Messiah ever did show up it would no longer have a reason to exist.

Wait, isn't that the same as Christians with revelations?

All of western civilization is founded in Jewish culture; does it really matter whether you're part of a religion that waits for the coming of the messiah, or merely his returning?

No, convert me to yours

The difference there is that when Jesus comes back, all the good Christians go away to paradise with him, leaving the rest of us heathens down here.

31 Heaven and earth shall pass away: but my words shall not pass away.

32 But of that day and that hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels which are in heaven, neither the Son, but the Father.

33 Take ye heed, watch and pray: for ye know not when the time is.

>kikes being weasely liars = BTFO

>Convert me
well you have to be religious first off to be converted :^)

circumsion in islam is sunnah, not a primary one

Did it work?

If I get converted to yours, am I still goyim?

Yeah like shitposting on a cartoon imageboard?

>only Nothern Europeans can be part of a religion invented by non-Europeans

there's a story in the decameron about this that always made me laugh

>christian merchant in Paris is good friends with a jewish merchant
>he feels bad that his friend is going to be damned to hell despite him being such a great guy
>starts pressuring him to convert but his friend isn't willing to turn his back on his faith
>eventually after pressuring him for a while his friend says he's decided to take a trip to Rome and have a meeting with senior church officials to find out more, and if he likes what he hears he'll convert
>the christian freaks out at hearing this and tries to get him to just talk to the bishop of paris instead, since he knows that all the church officials in Rome are corrupt, promiscuous, greedy fucks and if he sees that there's no way he'll convert
>jew goes to rome, christian becomes quite depressed about it
>after some time he comes back and proudly announces that he was baptized
>friend is very confused by this and asks him to explain
>well when I was in Rome I saw the most unspeakable corruption, priests running nunneries as brothels, accepting bribes in exchange for promises of salvation, and committing all manner of sin
>and yet despite all this the christian faith flourishes while mine has become ever smaller >clearly this is god's true faith

How will christcucks ever recover?

We have less stupid rules

How about I convert your body into ash instead?

The messiah is not lost OP
Your people have turned their back on him
But he still loves you...
Repent and accept the lord Jesus Christ into your heart.
Please open your heart to the man who will fight for you on judgement.
We are all brothers.

How about you either convert or we exclude you from our society?

Today there is not really any reason to change your religion if you're happy with it, but there were times when the church ran a large part of society and following the wrong religion meant that you were effectively excluded from a large part of society.

That's the practical perspective at least.
From a theological perspective you could argue that Christ preached a message of universal love and tolerance which seems to be lacking in Judaism.
So if you're into that you might be interested in converting.

Well, since Christianity has been hollowed to the point where it doesn't really mean much anymore, you could just build your own flavour of christianity that allows you to do whatever you want.

Want to be gay? No problem, Jesus loves all people.
Want to fornicate? Doesn't matter, Jesus loves you anyway.
Are you a despicable human being in general? Jesus died for your sins, so it's fine.
Your life sucks ass? Just wait for death and know that heaven awaits.

Also there's no need to deal with any bothersome mitzvot anymore because Jesus loves you and that's all that matters.

fuck off kike get into the gas chambers
Traiasca Legiunea si Capitanul

>gas chambers
never happened you dumb leftist nu-male cuck

Karaite Judaism is pure Judaism and the only remaining descendents of the tribes of Moses (patrilineal, not that matrilineal abomination).

You're a Jew? Are you faithful to your book? By faithful I mean hold any value about your book.

If yes, I can give you some quality (You)s.

It's a pro Christian story though?

No

I don't have one sir

It's a scathing satire of Catholicism.

Christianity is popular, it has lots of followers who can buy your "christian" goods, you may influence politics and economics if you have a nationalist party with good church ties.
Become a christian and ensure the good life of your children.

Did OP even read my shit?

OP didn't said "convert me to christianity"

>There is no evidence of god and no reason to believe in one. The concept of faith is stupid. Become an athiest and move on to do something that actually benefits society.

precisely the fact that the virtuous and the vile will ultimately go to the same place anyway (i.e. no place) means there is no point at all in benefiting society instead of just profiting off the efforts of the herd of those imbecile enough not to perceive the pointlessness of contributing

...

there is only one true god and stallman is his prophet

I don't have to, most of you jews are already either atheists or agnostics.