Athens or Sparta, Veeky Forums?

Childhood is when you admire Athens. Adolescence is when you admire Sparta. Adulthood is when you realize that their feud is retarded and every polis should combine their efforts with destroying Thebes then all of Persia while spending your retirement in Corinth with skimpy-clad babes.

-t. Xenophon "Ceterum autem censeo Thebeniem esse delendam" of Athens.

>Polis shit
MAKEDON
A
K
E
D
O
N

Xenophon really knew how to write a tearjerker ending.

>They had no ships, no money and no hope but to suffer what they had made others suffer out of the arrogance of power
>They destroyed the long walls to Piraeus to the accompaniment of flute girls and must rejoicing, thinking that this day marked the beginning of freedom for all the Greeks

I just wanted a happy ending for everyone after an entire century of war and straight up bad luck.

It's ok cuz Athens recuperated and was spared of destruction soley just to get them Theban and Corinth faggots in check.

What is sad is that he ends Hellenica at the battle that his sons die at but never directly names them.

Athens

SPARTA
HELLAS

Syracuse
Carthaginians OUT

Epirus lmao

Aboriginal australia, of course. Peace, prosperity, living the easy life.

Croton

Jerusalem

>Μαkεδόνας
>Έλληνες

>Ellada
>Ellines

*Tourkoi

>χρησιμοποιώντας βάρβαρος γλώσσες

We must secure the existence of the Ionian Race and a future for Ionian children.

Athenians are the purest of all Ionians and it is natural we should be the strongest.

The Dorian "hellenes" in Sparta are working with the Persians, the common enemy of all greeks, to try and contain us.

Our strength gives us the right to conquer.

*expands the war to sicily simply for the glory of it*

imagine how comfy it must have been watching the war from your beach house on the boot

Baktria.

>Spartafags
Enjoy your no culture

>cultureless culture

here's your reply.

Rome

Athens was a more balanced society.

Uruk

...

I'd love to live life as a spartan desu

Athens.

Spartan.

Annual Nights of the Longknives against Helot scum

Why choose bickering child city states when I can choose an empire?

...

The desert is hot.

Their beards are too oily.

Jews and crypto-Zurvanites

THEN AND AGAIN
SING OF THREE HUNDRED MEN

Why do so many people and here circlejerk over Sparta?

Do you guys actually enjoy stabbing slaves and getting beaten up by your wives more than art?

Helots aren't slaves, they're serfs. You don't stab slaves, you beat them.

Yes.

Serfs are slaves.

Childhood is idolizing Sparta and Athens; adulthood is realizing Corinth and Thebes make more sense

serfs are less than subjects but more than slaves.

Nope

They get to keep some of their stuff

Persia

Why should I submit to some filthy Iranian savages, rather than the righteous yoke of Ashur ?

This guy gets it

A-Aryan Master race, y..you Akkadicucks

Praise Ahura Mazda

>Corinth
>the city so gay it needed three epistles telling it to cut the shit

Your fire demon is pure shit, praise Ishtar

Back when I was studying classics in high school, I remember there was quite a lot of debate over this.

One of my friends was regarded by the teacher as the "model Spartan" of the class.

As it turned out, I was the "model Athenian"

Despite this, we got along great.

Although I don't think I'm a model Athenian any more. Events of recent years have made me appreciate Spartan virtues better, even if I don't exemplify them myself.

>byzantium?

Athens
>siding with crypto-persians

Athen=smarties
Sparta=chads

Sparta for military, Athens for culture.
In other words, both.

Wow, so different.

I hope your mother dies a horrific death.

Persia

>Not siding with glorious based queen Artemisia of Halicarnassus...

>He thinks he has more in common with the ancient Greeks than he does with the Medievals

Macedonia

She was a cunt.

>losing her naval battle
>uses this as an excuse to retreat by ramming through allied persian ships and sinking them
>its rumored these were her rivals that she wanted an excuse to kill

Queen Zenobia's Last Look upon Palmyra by Herbert Gustave Schmalz

You dare call me a fedora?
*unsheathes katana
REEEEEEE

Athens.

A sophist impious orator was preaching in the Ecclesia on Socrates, known advocator of the 30 tyrants.
”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship the Spartan oligarchic constitution and accept that they were the most highly-evolved laws the world has ever known, even greater than Athenian Democracy!”
At this moment, a brave, patriotic, Athenian champion who had served 1500 tours of duty in the Sicilian Expedition and understood the necessity of protecting the Laws and fully supported all military decision made by the Athenian Republic stood up and held up a parchment.
”How old are these laws, Sophist?”
The arrogant philosopher smirked quite sardonically and smugly replied, “Merely a hundred years as they were invented by that rabble rouser Pericles and inspired by Lycurgus”
”Wrong. It’s been 220 years since Draco created them. If it was only a mere century years old and Lycurgus, as you say, inspired them… then the Ionian city states would not be democratic as they are today.”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his parchment and copy of the Republic. He stormed out of the Ecclesia crying those sophist crocodile tears. The same tears oligarchists cry for the “nobles” (who today live in such luxury that most own at least 500 slaves) when they jealously try to claw justly earned wealth from the deserving ordinary city state citizens. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Xenocrates, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a sophist oligarchist orator. He wished so much that he had hemlock to poison himself from embarrassment, but he himself had petitioned against them!
The Athenian citizens applauded and all registered for the new elections of the strategos that day and accepted Athenian democracy as their lord and savior. An owl named “Solon” flew into the room and perched atop the pillar were the laws were written and shed a tear on the wax. The laws were read several times, and Athena herself showed up and enacted the planning for the construction 50 triremes.
The sophist lost his tenure and was ostracized the next day. He died of the plague sent to him by Apollo and was tossed into the river Styx for all eternity.

Ps. Expand the Delian League

Cornith

Constantinople

>chooses Constantinople
>knows damn well whats going to happen in the future

Thanks!

youtube.com/watch?v=ums3aGCJ15w

Kinda hot, admit it.

There was literally nothing wrong with Thebes.

>makedon
>greek

I'd likely be happier if born as a spartan citizen than an Athenian, but I I was magically brought back to live in one?

Athens, i'd get my ass in a boat and go live in sicily.

this is one really cringy post, user

What's so great about Sicily? for me I'd want to be born a spartan so I can go on dem wars and win me some slave girl babes

Everyone and their mother in ancient Greece wanked over Spartans and their virtues but I don't think much anyone would have wanted to live Spartan life.

Macedonians participated in ancient Olympics, which was for free born Greeks only.

Did the model Spartan get more poon than you?

Ofc

Macedon

>polis fags
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Spengler pls

Athens.

While Sparta represented the land owning land warfare oriented class that you could find anywhere else, Athens represented the mercantile naval warfare oriented class which made Greece an exception in the ancient world, foreshadowing the Roman Empire that would enclose the Med. If Athens and Sparta teamed up they would be almost as powerful as Rome a few centuries earlier, it is feasible a Hellenic empire could have come into existence stretching from the gates of Hercules to the Indus which actively traded with China.

However the Spartans couldn't see the forest for the trees.

Naval war wasn't generally handled by the aristocrats.

it influenced their policies

also
>If Athens and Sparta teamed up they would be almost as powerful as Rome a few centuries earlier
Fuck no. Either one was easily broken by a single major defeat. They were incapable of having the sort of manpower needed to last as a major power, alone or together.

Well the problem with Greek model was that they got rid of excess manpower by establishing colonies which were independent, hell those that left were forbidden with threat of death from returning. This meant the city-states didn't have really increasing power base where as Rome did retain citizenship for colonists and ruled them and extended citizenship to allied peoples in due time. This is essentially what fucked over Pyrrhus.

Sparta was a myth. They was just used to keep the rest of the greeks in line. Tell me why they aint no coins from sparta??

Because their currency were bars of iron or some shit? Had to take a bite for dat bait.

Corinth is better, all other Greek city states can fuck off

Persia

Athens in the streets
Sparta in the sheets

Why were the Greeks so based Veeky Forums?

Peking

Sometimes I wish this place were more Hellaboo and less Romeshitter.