Without looking it up, tell me what you know about Korean culture

Without looking it up, tell me what you know about Korean culture.

Bonus points to something obviously Japanese or Chinese in origin

Plastic surgery

They like Starcraft to unhealthy levels.

One time, the wind favoured them and Josan + wind blew the Japanese the fuck out.
A lot of the monarchs are buried in this one town not too far from Daegu.
King Josan simplified the characters from Chinese so that more people could be literate. I think there used to be more characters, but some were omitted.
People there do guerrilla gardening, as there is so little space.

I remember all I saw there. There's a term that translates to "Gangnam Girls" because they all have plastic surgery there. Mostly nose and double eyelids, they don't go for tit implants often.

Plastic surgery, extremely bad and tacky gay pop-music, and the eating of living sea-creatures.

Kimchi smells like shit.

GEE GEE GEE BABY BABY BABY

IT'S TOUGH TO BE A 4NIA THEY NEVER GIVE THEM GOOD SONGS

SE7EN FUCKED A HOOKER OR SOMETHING AND THAT'S WHY THEY DON'T HAVE CELEBRITY SOLDIERS ANYMORE

LEE SEDOL'S BROKEN LADDER GAME WAS AWESOME, AND KOREANS IN GENERAL ARE FUCKING VICIOUS WHEN THEY PLAY GO BECAUSE OF THE SUNJANG BADUK TRADITION, ALSO THE LAST TWO ALPHAGO GAMES WERE CRAZY

THAT SOUTH KOREAN ACTRESS ON LOST WAS REALLY FUCKING HOT

Basically I know about k-pop and go/baduk and that's about it.

They get covered in yellow Chinese dust every year.

>Kimichi
>Chinese suzerainty cucked them
>Japs cucked them
>North Korean brutal dictator vs South Korean brutal dictator
>Ban porn

>Ban porn

I know it's illegal, but it's seriously available in -every- hotel ever. Also, each hotels gives you condoms on the bed sheets when you go.

They are always vassals to the strongest power around.

to begin with there were 3 kingdoms, joseon, goryeo and a smaller one

the han dynasty occcupied some territory in the north west but they won it back

early korean rice farmers probably migrated to japan but japan won't admit it preferring to believe an expedition by a legendary han general was their progenitor

they considered themselves China's little brother, small yes but equal, China considered itself the center of civilization

at some point merchants started wearing wide brimmed hats

the mongols invaded and they became cuckolds for a while

japan invaded and there was turtle ships and shenanigans until china came to the rescue

when the white man came they went full isolationist

japan was isolationist but 'murica kicked in the door because it wanted a coaling station and japan industrialized and made korea its bitch a few decades later

it was split in 2 in some arbitrary agreement between the US and the commies at the end of ww2

north korea invaded and 'murica came to the rescue

south korea went full capitalist and is now full of corny pop music, monopolized by samsung and everyone is bourgeois and decadent while north korea is an orwellian nightmare

the only Korean food I know is kimchi. They love Starcraft and fucking bonkers pop music/fashion I can't into. The language is somewhere between Chinese and Japanese, and I recognize it when I see it because of the common distinct rounded, squiggly characters.
I think that's where the Nine Kingdoms thing happened. Otherwise I know essentially nothing about Korean history up to basically the Korean War (burger here, not sure what you guys call it) and the North/South schism.
The south is highly urbanized, with 20,000,000+ living in the Seoul MSA and millions more in Busan, Incheon, Daegu...
IIRC Koreans tend to prefer green tea to other variants, more akin to the Japanese than the Chinese. I associate Korea with ginsing more than any other country, for some reason.
The current Park era seems pretty crazy, what with the cabals and the censorship and all. Very curious to see where things go from here.

hating their neighbours especially the nips

>We invented everything

>Fuck Jjokbari

>Yanks saved our asses, but fuck them too

>Korea is the only country with four seasons

>Fan death

>Plastic surgery

Blizzard games and Gagnam style

they hate japan but also seem to want to copy everything about it.
really made me think

Bulgogi is the shit, incredibly good; kim chi is alright. Women are crazy, especially if brought home by an American serviceman as his wife. The resulting children, if daughters, are gorgeous, but inherit some of their mothers' craziness. Hawkeye only spent like two years there, but somehow it became 15 or something. Must be a time warp there.

Something something Sunshine Strategy something something kpop something something cult of personality something something Finno-Korean Hyperspace war.

I remember they had proto-ninjas

The love of kimichi to the point the created kimichi to be eaten in space.

They stuff their faces in order to show how much they appreciate the food, rather than savoring each bite like westerners.

they make amazing movies

WE WUZ JUSENZ/JURCHENZ N MALGALZ N TUNGUZICZ N GOGURYEOZ N SHET

...

I used to date a Korean and I think they had parties for babies after they lived a certain amount of months.

it's on the baby's first new years.

Korean age reckoning starts you at 1 year old, and you get another every new years. Of course that means you get some 2 year old infants every so often.

crime thriller movies

starcaft

plastic surgery

their fans blow up

they hate america even though America is the only reason they arent under north korean rule

Yeah wasn't it because babies didn't always live very long back in the day?

It's not really an Orwellian nightmare. I promise i'm not the North Korean IDF, but if you listen to the people that have left recently (i.e. not during the famine) the only reason they left was because they wanted the opulence and wealth of the south.

It's really not Stalinist Russia. Fuck, weed's legal there for some reason.

Korean grill is good
They like spicy shit
Their liquor consumption is on par with their northern slavic neighbours
They have a neat writing system
The anthem of their govt. in exile during the 30's was auld lang syne
I finished the Korean campaign in AOE2 so I learned about them turtle ships n shiet.
S. Korea was as much of an authoritarian shithole during the cold war, as N. Korea.
Their anti-privacy policies would make people who wrote the PATRIOT act blush.
A bunch of Korean orphans was sent to Belgium in the early 50's

~ The North/South divide goes back almost 200 years ago
~ Kimchi recipes are so valued that it was not unusual for them to be part of a dowery
~ Most Koreans prefer brown rice to white rice
~ Korean chopsticks are made of stainless steel unlike Japanese or Chinese ones
~ Archery is the major sport they care about in the Olympics
~ They have some of the fastest internet in the world
~ Mao Zedong never liked Kim Il Sung and thought he was a stupid arrogant leader who threw away the lives of the Chinese troops he sent to help. He even claims he stole his cigarettes one time.

>their fans blow up
No, they just have a superstition that fans consume oxygen and you'll asphyxiate if you fall asleep with one on.

they had a good navy
they eat pickled colesaw
they were not annexed by china

Are Koreans even bigger we wuzers than American blacks?

Naw. Most Koreans just want to stay competitive with Japan and China. There's nowhere for them to really get more land so arguing over clay is unproductive compared to investing in the economy and exporting Korean pop culture.

I am currently living in South Korea, went as a teacher but now I work as an editor.

3 years already. I think I know lot.

>Korea has four seasons

I was a teacher and this triggers me so much.

Can you even grow weed in n korea?
And even in 1984 the proles weren't the targets of the thought police, only the people who were trained in the party's administration were.

They have a party for the baby when they lived 100 days. Because in the past kids died before that, so they waited to celebrate.

It's called 백일