Badly describe a historical figure

>dad died
>better get angry at the sea

>believing in shit tier propaganda
Jesus this board has no hope. It needs stickies, a wiki, fucking anything and it won't get it.

Telemachus

Xerxes I

>remember that time I solo'd an entire army with my bed lion?

>Don't like monastery on hill
>Burn the hill

>Mustachio with a fez
>Reformated our alphabet
>Collected some myths and legends
>Died in Wienna and buried in Belgrade

Guy learns one weird trick on how to be emperor

>father that wasn't his father gets killed
>BTFOs everyone

Vuk Karadzic?

>gets cucked
>cucks the world

Augustus.

>WE WUZ GREEKS AND SHIIET
>dies

napoleon

>stole all "his" ideas
>genius

Genghis Khan

>dad dies
>losing what should have been the easiest battle of history
>raised by templars
>remove nobles
>remove kebab

Newton

>nigger
>elected president

>bribes bodyguards to kill his predecessors
>killed by his bodyguards

obongo

>Since my mom won't have sex with me, I'll start a world war

willy

Nnamdi Azikiwe?

Correct.

----------------

King's grandfather gets cuck'd
King's father gets cuck'd
King BTFO everyone
King's son gets cuck'd

> be "retarded"
> everyone hates him
> surprise! You're emperor now.

Goodluck Jonathan?

Brazzers before the 20th century.

Napoleon

Are you talking about Theseus?

MUH
BENEVOLANCE
MUH
HAN

I don't agree with you at all, but Kek.

Wilhem

Yep
Millions died because an autist couldnt shag his mom

Bill Clinton!

>didn't want a job
>now considered the best person to ever have it

Donald Trump

Claudius

>robbed banks
>well, im head of state

Donald Trump.

correct

no

>>now considered the best person to ever have it

>let's launch an invasion of france
>dies

Coolridge

Alfred the Great (learned that in Vikings)

Hitler

>Become a teenager king
>Go to non sense war
>Dissapear

>le ebin Hitler was a historical figure meme

> demagogue elected to rule the country
> supports ideas of nationalism
> take more powers than democracy allows
> start warmongering here and there
> provoked into stupid war againt major power
> lost fucking hard and disposed as result

>start by fetching sandals for clan chief
>become ruler of the entire country

Alex the Average

nah, this guy died much sooner

>Autistic retard ends up being the greatest King in Spanish history

No, he dissapeared in the fog.

charlie the fifth

>I want to unite the people around me and then split it between my sons when I die

2nd

Charlemagne The Great

>DUDE
>I AM MOTHERFUCKING HERACLES

Heracles

Really dude

yup, also not to be a dick but the "magne" part already meant "great"

>"muh land reform"
>dies in a civil war

Hercules?

People don't understand that's the French for Karolus Magnus, they think his name was actually Charlemagne

No, it's not hercules

pompey

>Ambitious sister-fucking manlet from some irrelevant island single-handedly conquers Europe before freezing his army to death in some slavic shithole

>Wants gold
>Takes name Goldberg

Napoleon AND Hitler
>inb4 Austria isn't an Island

Hitler shagged his niece, not his sister
So it's only Napoleon

thomas alva edison

>"LOL, no more my own generation left just because i can't calm this peasant."

>Veeky Forums still believes the Edison stole all of his ideas meme
Edison's genius is in the practicality of everything he made and how it immediately changed lives. The whole Tesla incident is just a blue vein on the massive cock of his legacy

>bantering before it was cool

Uh, can you rephrase this?

Diogenes, unless it's Voltaire in which case you're incorrect. It was very much the cool thing at his time.

>edisonfag with their so called "genius' thing

your edison is just a steve jobs of oldie version

correct

here
>cucked and proud of it

>hurr he actually made money on the things he fiddled with so he's bad
Steve Jobs was an executive, Edison was an inventor and executive. He knew exactly how everything he patented worked. Him not being a beta fag is what made his presence felt so immediately.

here, a (You) for you

Tsar Nicholas II

YUP

N-no one knows who these two are desu?

>Failed Chicano Washington

is he a nordic??

Nope

>"A bit blasphemy in my red movement, is fine too"

Conrad von Hotzendorf

Alexander the Great

>yes help me take my throne, I can pay you lots of money and help you remove infidels
>oops I've been removed by fukkin peasants
>Lmao sorry boys I can't help you anymore
>oh fuck don't sack the city guys
>Don't partition the empire, FUCK

>Dis white bois better take me walk in tha hoodz wit ma throne

Alexios IV

Kang Wewuz VIII

nope

Haile Selassie

Bolivar

>Was the antichrist and also made a healthcare law

Nero?

yup

nope

Hideyoshi.

no

Commodus. He used to enter the arena in Hercules' garb and act like a fucking autist.

Yep, the monkey himself.