What were the thiccest civilizations?

Pacific islands

four hand-spans wide you say...

I've worked in a library archive for years and this is probably the funniest historical/mythical text I've ever seen

>Several sorceresses made fun of him for not being able to find fat enough women
>He then had sex with these sorceresses

Based as fuck.

Does fake thiccness count?

god.....
god damn

No, Victorians could have been Thicctorians but they insisted on a waspish waist

0/10 would not BRRRRRAPP with

Can someone please tell me where to find the Forest of Thicc? I know it's somewhere in Europe, I'm just not sure exactly where...

That's not Victorian, user.

Fair enough my friend, but bustles are bullshit all around

>Looks like a phat ass
>Is merely a mating display aide that resembles a phat ass

BUT Y NOT JUST GROW A PHAT ASS THO

FUCK YOU MARIE, EAT SOME OF THAT CAKE YOURSELF BITCH

well this wont be the first time ive fapped to a painting

Dunno, but them indian sculptures and south -southeast asian statues are thicc as fuck.

I mean just google them or search for 'apsara' or 'yakshini' on wikipedia or something.

Can you imagine being the archeologist who discovered these? How do you report these?

"That's correct. The building is covered in big fat stone titties."

>What should I sculpt for you, my lord?
>THICC STONE PUSSY

africa had some real thicc broads

coub.com/view/dahua

Brit archaeologists went full REEEE while describing them.

Sauce?

Mercy

>Several sorceresses made fn of Huemac for his inability to get women fat enough
>Huemac then had sex with these sorceresses.
based Huemac to be honest famalam.

Italian, Greek and Portuguese women can be pretty thicc, from what I've seen. The shorter they are, the more likely to be thicc.

That's just because they're compressed.
Archeologically speaking, I'd wager the Aztecs or some other mesoamerican civilization.

The absolute fucking legend

If this post is dubs or trips Huemac is the official historical mascot of Veeky Forums

Won't be the last either tbqh

saw it on a nat geo documentary.

Are those NG documentaries watchable?

Whenever I try to watch a documentary on youtube, it's all just fast cuts, speaking purely in superlatives, and ad breaks every 5 minutes, after which the narrator will repeat the previous 4 minutes to allow anyone to catch up.

Can't watch that.

HUEmac

People in this thread don't even KNOW thic

>Steattopygia

MEIN. FUCKEN. NEGER

Bartman was one of my first historical faps. Dat shelf ass.

shopped!

What book?

Were kangz an queens the thiccest thott based civ? Smash that like button, my man.

He sounds like a better Veeky Forums mascot to me

>I'm a big buff sexy mesoamerican masterrace natty
>NOW BRING ME THE FATTEST OF ASSES TO APPEASE MY HIGH TEST

Flower and Scorpion: Sexuality and Ritual in Early Nahua Culture, by Pete Sigal.

I'm the user that originally posted that pic last year of the book. It must have been in one of those Mesoamerica threads.

>tfw no gf with an ass 4 hand spans wide

>You will never demand fat assed brown mesoamerican qt 3.14s from the gods and fuck them all night long

why even live famabro

born in the wrong century to plunder that 4 hands wide booty butt

>implying you would have been born a mesoamerican nobleman favored by the gods
>not some shitty lower class dude destined to ritual sacrifice

All worth it for a chance to see that phat native ass in its prime before Conquistador dicks bleached the gene pool

Fuck you cortez...

Not a bustle, it's a pannier.

Sure this is your board?

...

I heard something once that this was what started the trend of women in that day wearing those giant ass dresses. Is that true?

I bet the real reason why the war started is because he was arguing that traps ain't gay.

Disgusting.

If true, that would be fascinating, but probably impossible to prove. How would you corroborate that?

What was even the deal with the Hottentots?

That's more deformed than thic.

>yakshini
breh.

Runaway genetics

ikr

"I didn't see the balls, it can't be gay!"

Thanks to Steatopygia, a fairly common feature in sub saharan africa.

Child caring hips, that's some next level shit.

No, it needs to be actual phat.

Gender rules applied under differently to the Gods and often had dual natures which included masculine and femenine. It's why some Aztec gods could have long hair like a woman, but still be masculine. Having both traits made them more powerful as they weren't confined to a particular realm or set of powers. The changing of genders was an act of excess which was ok and sometimes even necessary at particular times. Tezcatlipoca is a deity associated with chaos, so engaging in such excess and seduction with a king was well within his 'norm' if you want to call it that. It's also no surprise Huemac is sometimes called Quetzalcoatl, who was associated with order, and a rival of Tezcatlipoca.

What's with the Jojo poses?

*carrying

gods can be girls if they wanted to, but Tezcatlipoca is evil so he might have fucked him in yiff form

He isn't evil, just chaotic. The Aztecs had no good vs evil duality.

...

...

Could they not tell the difference between serenity and suffering?

Lol!

They viewed both as necessary. Too much order is dangerous as is too much chaos. They were obsessed with moderation, a path in balance in between two forces (not opposing forces necessarily, but complementary forces). They often described this like walking on the slippery earth, or on the ridge of something, being careful not to fall into the abyss which was the path of excess. Excess itself while considered dangerous for it's overflowing and uncontrollable nature was regarded like water. Which is why prostitutes who acted excessively, not just in having a lot of sex and advertising it publicly, but also for living the life of a sacrifice victim (drinking, doing drugs, and enjoying lavish things) were drawn with a water glyph beneath their feet.

That said even excess was understood to be necessary at times, and as a way to vent this en masse, they conducted rituals in special ceremonies whos literal spaces like plazas or squares where temples were located were like a special area where excess could occur, flourish and be celebrated. Things like war were seen like a ritualized act of excess, but necessary for the survival of the state. Outside of ritual excess was soemtimes practiced too. Sex was excessive but necessary for fertility and life, human sacrifice was excessive too but necessary for the balance of the world. The same forces responsible for excess were the ones who purified you, Tlazolteotl and Xochiquetzal for isntance represented sex, filth (tlazolli), and excess. But they were those who purified you in confessions you gave once in your life.

So for the Aztecs everything which was connected ran complementary to each other. For this reason death and life were two sides of the same reality and both were equally important to venerate. Human suffering was seen as natural, but for this reason so was pleasure and leading a life of pleasure was ok, so long as it wasn't in excess.

Are you the user who wrote at length about Teotl some months back?

Proabably, I know there's another user who talks about it.

How did these statues survived Muslim rule of India.

Because culture, people and traditions along with a history of resistance. They fucked up Islam everytime that had a chance to.

>That said even excess was understood to be necessary at times, and as a way to vent this en masse
How many people does it take to count as "en masse"?

>That feel when we've modernized the "localized excess" principle with football and action movies

Feels weird brehs

same thing as "bread and circus" essentially.

Worth noting that the story in question was about a toltec king, and Tezcatlipoca is a mesoamerica, speffically nahua diety, not just aztec.

The aztec/mexica worldview wouldn't/may not be the same of that of even the other people in the region even if they were still "aztec" cities or peoples and even if they shared a pantheon.

>Tell me about Tezcatlipoca, why does he wear the jaguar dick

How big is that? Wrist to finger tip or side to side?

I've always read it as being the actual span left to right of your hand: thumb tip to pinkie tip. Which for non manlets/Trumplets is a good six to seven inches.

So what he's asking for, basically, is a woman with at LEAST a 24 inch wide ass, maybe more. And we know he wasn't satisfied with that when he got them, because he asked for even fatter asses.

Basically this guy was a /d/ hyper ass fetishist or some kind of landwhale / THICC enthusiast.

Most of all it makes me curious: were there other major historical figures who preferred bigger women? I can't think of any off the top of my head, but I know a lot of cultures (Mauritania, that random island, Ghana, even Portugal and Brazil) prefer women who are bigger / thicker all over. Except for Brazil which demands your waist be a child's and somehow support /d/ hips and tits.

Mostly hidden in the jungle usually abandoned

someone please shoop this...

sorry
this

user you done fucked up

Post some thicc history hips as recompense

That's an ass man I'd follow to hell and back

While it's true the setting of the story is Toltec, the legend itself is from Aztec sources Anales de Cuauhtitlan or Codex Chimalpopoca. The Aztecs undoubtedly would have given this legend a spin that reflected their values. In another version they even inserted themselves in it, which is hilarious as the Toltecs had fallen centuries before the Aztecs even arrived in the area.

It depends, it could involve particular members of society such as, noble warriors, elites, priests, ahuianime. Other times it might be merchants, slaves, the commoners, sacrifice victims (which could be slaves, noble children or prisoners of war). Or it could attract everyone. It really depended on the ceremony and what was happening in said ceremony.

>he had sex with these sorceresses

fuck what a legend

this famalam

Because da whities stole our black thick culcha

He didn't just fuck them. They mocked him for fucking fat asses and then he fucked their fat asses.

I don't think I can remember ever reading about "hate sex" in a historical text before. What book is that from, even? I kinda want to grab it for Nook, I'm genuinely interested in the mythology as well as the gratuitous THICC.

>it's not gay if the gods transform into women

see
If you're asking for the original texts this book got it from, they're compiled from two sources: Historia Tolteca-Chichimeca and Anales de Cuauhtitlan which is part of Codex Chimalpopoca. If I have time tomorrow I can see if I can scan the relevant pages as I have the books.

Do you think Tzcatlipoca turned around while he was hitting it from the back and revealed his man face to guck with him? I hope so

Fat positivism is not Veeky Forums related

His name means "Big hand" too so we're talking real fucking thicc here

The statues survived, but the tradition and skill needed to make them was lost.

maybe he needed fat assed women because his "big gift" just ran too fucking deep

damn yo

>Except for Brazil which demands your waist be a child's and somehow support /d/ hips and tits.
They have the right idea.