You are magically transported to 1991 as an undisputed ruler or Yugoslavia...

You are magically transported to 1991 as an undisputed ruler or Yugoslavia. The country is on the brink of collapse and shit is about to hit the fan. How do you keep your meme nation in one piece and prevent a bunch of angry Slavs from murdering each other?

Outlaw Croatians

Try to take as much money i can with me and abandon the sinking ship.

play accordion on national TV

>Keep your meme nation in one piece

Not possible without slavs murdering each other. You could stumble forward a few more years maybe but the ethnic centrifugal forces were to great.

Best solution:
>independent slovenia
>serbia gets awarded montenegro
>croatia and bosnia become independent
>the disputed territories were a lot of serbs live become independent buffer states

Essentially Serbia doesn't fully chimp out and croatia and bosnia accept the idea of the disputed territories as independent nations.

Kill Milošević.
Drop the rotary government system.
Dissolve the federal states.
Double my efforts in creating a Yugoslavian identity.
BONUS: exterminate Serbs

Federal states are what killed post-Tito Yugoslavia.

>LOOK MOM I POSTED THE FUNNY MAYMAY AGAIN
I'll exterminate you nerd

>starts genociding Serbs

Split peacefully along lines more favorable to Serbia and Crotia, and take care of the Albanian problem. Probably make it look like this.

Try to split us up peacefully, paying attention to religious and ethnic borders.
Try to keep an alliance, or something, though.

>1991 as an undisputed ruler or Yugoslavia
literally not possible

Hold a constitutional congress where I force thru an American style federal constitution with "home rule" for all minorities.

I don't, the sooner this shithole crumbles, the better.
To be serious for a moment, by 1991 the presidency of Yugoslavia and the civilian branch of the autocracy were nothing more than apparatchiks in the hand of the JLA high command.
The civilian government did try to prevent collapse, but that proved to be difficult, since the high command was unflinching pro-Serb hardliners that wanted to keep Yugoslavia as an authoritan dictatorship ever drifting towards a Greater Serbian ideal.
It was better to let it dissolve, as the problems were already too deeply ingrained from 1968 onwards and specially since 1989.
Make me druže Tito in 1950 and I might be able to save this shithole, but 1991 Yugoslavia is already way past the point of no return.

Federal States are exactly what made the second Yugoslavia a bit less of a failure then the 1st.

Since 1980, not 1989, that's when Tito died and the rotary presidential system was introduced.

>Panic because I don't know shit about slav history or politics
>Watch as everything crumbles around me without being able to do a thing about it
>Eventually try to flee to America with all the money I can carry and try to exploit my future knowledge wherever applicable
In that order, roughly.

Wasn't the jna who wanted to put the Slovenes in their place but Milosevic and his surrogates shot them down?

Assassinate Tudjman
Assassinate Kucan
Assassinate Izetbegovic
Assassinate Hans Dietrich Genscher
Yes, assassinate Slobo too
Declare martial law
Media blackout

Burn down a major government building and blame Muslims.

Use the nationalist fervor to unite the angry Slavs and remove kebab.

Why would you even want to keep this retarded thing together

>that microscopic bridge