Fucking Jehovah's witnesses. I wake up hearing a knock at the door, ignore it. They knock again...

Fucking Jehovah's witnesses. I wake up hearing a knock at the door, ignore it. They knock again, so I think it's something important I peek through the door to see who it is, I just woke up so my vision is blurry, plus I've already been having trouble with my vision lately. I mistook the guy for my roommate and open the door, instant fucking regret. He spent a good ten minutes telling me about the "falsehood of God".

Bitch, I don't come waking you up on your day off to insult your stupid religion. Who do these people think they are?

What's the history behind these annoyingly well dressed cunts?

They're like Mormons but they can drink and can't vote

>&humanities

is this copypasta

>get woken up by JWs
>Hello sir, do you have a minute to talk about Our Lord?
>n-no thanks i'm not itnerested
>Ok have a good day!
>y-you too
>come on Veeky Forums
>FUCKING JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES

I once tried to scare them away by telling that I'm a satanist. I don't know what I've fucking expected, but they followed me for half an hour afterwards, not shutting up for a second. Should have said nothing.
Live in Russia, by the way.

My cousin died because she refused treatment for leukemia that would involve blood transfusions. Her imbecilic parents helped enable it since she was 17 at the time. JW are idiots.

Part of the "Great Awakening" after the "Great Disappointment" of the 19th century. They believe Jesus is Michael the Archangel, that the sabbath day must be kept, and that God's true name is Jehovah and cannot be anything but Jehovah.

Despite the fact that Hebrew then and now has no "J" sound.

They proselytize so that they are scorned and ridiculed, and take that scorn and ridicule as their token suffering with Jesus.

Whom they believe to be Michael the Archangel. They'll even show you in "their bible" where Jesus is Michael the Archangel.

Why the fuck are they so fucking stupid? Like, their dumb, mistranslated bible can be PROVEN to be mistranslated by comparing it to all the other bibles. At least if you tell a normal christian 'le bible is distorted' then he can retort that we have very few early translations available, but the JWs mistranslated the Bible in the era of the telegraph and the printing press. It's retarded.

how do I join?

not even memeing I just want to belong to something...

You'd be better off going Amish or normal Mormon. JW's are shit.

Shit mate, you just tell them you're either a Neo-Pagan (doesn't matter the type) or a Satanist and start preaching about your gods to them. They'll leave in a hurry, usually. If you get the one the doesn't leave, then shut the fucking door on their face.

>Despite the fact that Hebrew then and now has no "J" sound.

I love this part. Doubly so since they insist that the true name of God is unpronounceable, and that "Jehovah" is just an approximation. When I asked one once about why do Jewish sources of the Second Temple Era have the Priests pronouncing the tetragrammaton in the daily blessing, I just got a confused, blank look.

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I've never met any well dressed Jehovas' witnesses. You must be mistaking them for mormons.

have the Jehovas witnesses knocked down a country to spread the word of democracy before?
no?
come back when they do

>He spent a good ten minutes telling me about the "falsehood of God".

You couldn't stand up as a man and say "No thank you" and the close the door?

Dude, where's your manhood?

The guys all wear suits here when they do door-to-doors. (In the Netherlands that is).

Tbh I used to have a friend who was a JW when I was in high school. He was a cool as fuck dude and he never bothered anyone with religious talk, not even in Religion/Philosophy class (yeah we had that).

Everytime he had to do his rounds in my street I felt sorry for him since they're all just basically pushed from a young age. He skipped my house to avoid awkwardness and cringe. I think his brother was disowned by his parents for stepping away from the community.

Traditional sects around the ME, holdovers from another era believe Christ the archangel as well. It was in at least one apocrypha text I read but can't think of the name.

Some traditional sects, not all. Not even most. My point is, the idea isn't born out of nothing.

How edgy bro

I assure you no 15 year old ever thought to do this.

Just say "fuck the holy spirit"
Easiest way to get Christians to go away.

That's when we start damning you.

Be me
>who can it be knocking at my door?
>I try to make no sound and tiptoe across the floor.
>I figure if they hear,they'll knock all day
>tfw trapped all day
>why does this happen to me I've done nothing wrong,I just keep to myself.
>swear I'm not autistic
>like it here with my childhood friend
>get triggered,here come the feels.
>WHO CAN IT BE NOW?

Then you leave forever and we never have to see you again

Then we swap out one Spirit for another. Guess where it goes?

Oh to be young again. Weegee was the best meme ever created btw.

Dude, at least Mormons have guns and jello. If you HAVE to do whacky American splinter cults, go with the one that can actually form a coherent theology. 'Sides, BoM is a great example of the early American novel.

>BoM is a great example of the early American novel.
pls esplain

Pretty much this, they always ask if you want to talk about God, OPs story is fake as fuck

It fits nearly the same model as most novel writing courses.

(The joke/rumor is that Joseph Smith tried to sell his book as a novel, failed, then decided to make it a religion. Sort of early-industrial Dianetics.)