Read Bible

>triggering people is murder

I genuinely don't understand why fedoras are so aggrieved by that biblical passage. Some assholes got eaten by bears, who the fuck cares?

People get eaten by bears all the time throughout history but the moment God allegedly becomes involved you start to shriek about evil it is for people to get btfo by bears. Meanwhile the vast majority of people who get rekt by bears experience their destruction for no reason what so ever and you're fine with it.

It's like fedoras honestly prefer the idea of a universe where things happen at random for no reason with no sense of justice what so ever, rather than a universe where the wicked receive just comeuppance.

>b-but they were CHILDREN
Right, like that's the first time a group of kids have ever gotten eaten by a bear, at least these assholes deserved it for being little shits.

>Read Bible
>God literally murders a guy's whole family just to prove a bet with Satan
>Destroys all his worldly wealth, all his slaves and servants are raped and brutally murdered and his livestock driven away
>Also gives him AIDS-tier sores
>Wife tells him to just kys
>"It was just a prank bro! For the laffs haha!"

God made you so you're his property.

Dude

You ACTUALLY believe a wizard summoned a random horde of bears to eat teenagers

That's retarded as hell

>wizard
Not that guy, but what's with this "wizard" shit? Been reading too much Harry Potter?

>summoned a random horde of bears to eat teenagers
Actually, it was 2 bears killing around 40 young men.

>It's on par with a beta who gets cucked by a Chad fantasizing about stabbing said Chad to death when some being gives him magical powers.

literally /r9k/'s slave vs. master morality

Ayo Abraham. Marry your half sister.
>But God that's kinda nasty yo
Don't be a faggot, fucking your sister is hot. Ham, Shem, and Japheth had it good. Are you saying you're too good to fuck your sisters like they were?
>Oh no God, not at all! I'll fuck my sister for you!
KEK... Yo Satan watch dis... yo Abraham go kill your son
>But God why?
Just do it you fucking bitch, don't question me I'm mofucking God
>Ok Lord. I don't know much but I'll put my faith in you!
HOLY SHIT HE'S GONNA DO IT LOOOOL
SHHHH shhh shhhhhhhhh... shut the fuck up...
Abraham you know that skin on your dongle?

DUDE IT WAS METAPHOR LMAO!

The Bears represent God's Wrath! The kids represent scornful atheists! And the wizard represent righteous Christians!

>Jews enslaved in Babylon daydreaming about Babylon falling
What are the Jews doing today? Dominating the world. Now what are the Babylonians doing? Oh, wait, they're gone for good.

When your predecessor prophet (Elijah) ended his stay on planet earth by "going up" in a fiery chariot to heaven.

>dominating the world
No they're only dominating shabbos goyim like yourself.

Hating people is murder. Calling people fools is murder. Calling people retarded is murder. Wishing people dead is murder. Being prejudiced is murder. Murder has many forms, and they all start in the heart.

And everyone is a murderer. A man convicted of armed robbery is a criminal. You don't say he's a criminal only in regard to armed robbery. He's a criminal.

>Hating people is murder
Christians confirmed original SJW.

Ok so everyone of those are murder. Therefore it's okay to commit murder summoning a bear to eat children alive? Wow. So deep. Much righteous.

Oh boy, who let the Proddies in?

>Be a bear
>Teenage humans causing a racket
>Get my Bearbros and fuck them up
>Leave the bullied virgin alone out of pity
>Fedora human claims the dumb cunts did nothing wrong

I don't give a fuck how the legendary event went down, I just think it's ridiculous for fedoras to whine about a few people getting killed by bears, ESPECIALLY if they believe it never happened in the first place.

How pathetic is your life when you complain about things you by your own admission don't belief actually happened?

God protected his prophet with bears.

If that's not a God worth worshiping, continue to worship yourself. I think it's awesome.

You're not thinking "rabid mob of Palestinian youth". You're thinking "tiny babies in cradles".

How dumb do you have to be to hate someone you say does not exist, but on the off chance he exists, well, you sure do hate him?

Then there's also the Jews overblowing their own importance.

>Joseph was the second most important man in Egypt after Pharaoh himself and everyone in the world has heard of Joseph!
>then Joseph died and everyone except us somehow forgot he ever existed

>King Solomon was the richest king on the planet, everyone in the world paid him tribute, Jerusalem was the envy of the world and he was considered extremely wise and monarchs from all corners of the Earth seeked him for counsel
>nobody except the Jews has ever heard of him

>Esther was a powerful Jewess who seduced the king of Persia and became the Persian queen
>no Persian account of her ever existing

>Bible is always Egypt this, Egypt that, Pharaoh that
>Egyptian records mention Israel exactly ONCE in their thousands of years of history and it's just on a list some shitty nations in buttfuck nowhere

etc

Literally we wuz kangs n queens: the book.

wut
Buddy, I don't hate anybody other than pinko faggots and reds, and they all most assuredly exist.

>rabid mob of Palestinian youth
Wut

But speaking of Muslims, where are all the bear summons protecting Christians in the Middle East? Surely getting beheaded by ISIS is far worse than getting mocked by a couple kids.

That is the stupidest thing I've read all day. How do you know they weren't referring to say, Abram's return from Egypt to Canaan, which was also "going up" into the land?

Joseph was literally elevated to that rank.

Solomon took in 666 talents of gold in tribute in one year of his reign. A talent is 30 kg. 666 talents is worth $886,152,960 at current gold prices.

Esther's name, married to King Xerxes I, is well known throughout the world as the Jewish queen who saved the Jews from Haman.

The Jews celebrate this event each and every year, at Purim.

And yet you answer rhetorical questions on the internet that have nothing to do with you.

>But speaking of Muslims, where are all the bear summons protecting Christians in the Middle East? Surely getting beheaded by ISIS is far worse than getting mocked by a couple kids.
Confirmed for never even having touched the bible. God hasn't intervened in worldly affairs whatsoever after Jesus' death, he hasn't even been speaking to humans, precisely because we killed Jesus.

Look at footage of teenage arabs throwing rocks at Israeli troops.

Now imagine that instead of Israeli troops, it's one man being targeted for murder.

Now imagine right when the prophet looks like he's going to be killed by these savages, bears come out of nowhere and #rekt them.

Many things changed when Jesus was here. One of those things is the lack of prophets. Hence perhaps the lack of Arab-youth-mob-killing bears.

>But speaking of Muslims, where are all the bear summons protecting Christians in the Middle East?
Under sanctions placed by Obama, but they manage to do a fair job of savaging ISIS, all things considered.

>Solomon took in 666 talents of gold in tribute in one year of his reign
No, he didn't. Bible saying so doesn't make it real you know.

this desu

>It's an Old Testament episode

Literally the biggest mistake of Catholicism was not disavowing that Jew power-fantasy asap.

That and putting Jews in charge of money.

How is the New Testament supposed to work without the old? What sins is Jesus saving us from then? What did he mean when he said he came to fulfill the law?

Asking this as an outsider

Babylonians evolved into Muslims.

youtube.com/watch?v=FUAaFavh8sA

The Old Testament was God's breakout album. While full of youthful vigor, it was understandably rough around the edges and not well received outside of niche Semitic circles.

The post-hiatus Jesus/mercy EP, while demonstrating God's growth and maturity in many aspects of the craft and demonstrating a self-aware acknowledgement of past struggles with anger, domestic abuse, and the propensity for encouraging deviant behavior among his fans, failed to fully divorce itself from God's troubled legacy due to meddling by his PR department.

Old Testament = Applies to Jews
New Testament = Applies to everyone else

Dude stop forcing this meme that the kids were trying to murder the bald dude. It makes you look like a retard.

Marcion did nothing wrong.

The main thing that differentiates Catholicism and Judaism is the acknowledgement of Jesus as divine, and the New Testament as Holy Scripture.

The New Testament is essentially a giant redemption arc for God being a Greek-god tier degenerate cunt. Unfortunately, fedoras rarely acknowledge the New Testament and confuse Catholicism with Judaism.

Not saying the Papists dindu nuffin, but millitant Atheists are obnoxious.

How do you type without opposable thumbs?

How do you expect to raise Aryan cubs when you're a basement-dwelling retard?

>he unironically doesn't get comfy throughout the winter
>he can't even catch his own food

lmaoing @ ur life

But I thought God was perfect.

My fedora theory:

>Humans are specifically stated to be made in his image (Old Testament) or are his direct children (New Testament)
>Perfect

Omnipotence and infinite capacity for love doesn't mean 'perfect.' If I was going to choose a branch of Christianity, I would probably choose the one that shows that God is capable of growth as he gets to know Humans and how they handle the shit he's given them.

Then again, there's nothing stopping him from chimping out again either.

t. Agnostic-lite

Agnosticism is really the only way to go.

fucking delet this now goyim

It would be, except for the copout of 'DUDE NOTHING COULD EVER POSSIBLY BE KNOWN ABOUT ANYTHING NON-MATERIAL LMAO'.

That's my only retcon of it.

subtle Rogan-posting

I'm into it just because I can't be convinced that there is a God but I don't really know so I'm not an atheist.

>Bible is always Egypt this, Egypt that, Pharaoh that
>>Egyptian records mention Israel exactly ONCE in their thousands of years of history and it's just on a list some shitty nations in buttfuck nowhere

hmm what does this remind me of?

>as it is the only holy book on the planet
Prove your koolaid is the best koolaid
And everyone else's faith is entirely false

You will eventually come to understand there's a God through one or multiple epiphanies. I was agnostic too, but I found out how God's existence is demonstrated by His Love and His Creation.

Whatever you say man.

>Whatever you say man
I like you because although you're still trapped under a lazy position, you admit with humility that you can't say there's no God. That's good. I wish you luck.

so what is islam?
his uncreative third album he made once he was already famous?

Don't bother. This guy drank all the koolaid. He's a flat-earther, young-earth creationist, shitposting fundamentalist. He does nothing but shit things up here and isn't about to stop or seriously consider the possibility of his position being wrong.

>Implying he's not a hugely successful troll.

Not him, but the Abrahamic god has, and can be, proven to be bullshit. The only reason it exists is because people make up excuses and don't really give up cherished beliefs. A lot of gods can be proven false. About the only god you can say exists is some very vague and very nebulous god. Hence the sad state of religious apologetics where they try to prove this vague god is possible or must exist, and then try to tack on their god of choice into this very vague and philosophical thought experiment of a god. Does that mean no god exists? Of course not. But if they do exist no religion so far seems to have found out about them.

It's really truly hard to tell. If he is a troll, he's one that's fairly knowledgeable of this kind of loony protestantism.

It's really not hard. The Landover Baptist Church site has been around for ages, and that's far more elaborate than our buddy here.

Abraham trully was the original ABSOLUTE MADMAN.

...

I never said you should follow God through my religion. I'm only explaining God as far as I can understand Him. I don't know about budhism or Islam. I don't know about ancient Aztec religion or the Greek religion. I use the poor knowledge I have about God and his Love.

>g*d was the first troll and the last

jesus those thing'll tear you apart...

The only reason you believe it is because you have poor knowledge of it.

>the only reason you believe is because you have a poor knowledge of it
I went through an agnostic/atheist phase. It was only until I was faced with how really insignificant I am and how arrogant I was to believe that understanding of science gave us power over the universe, that I understood that God exists.

It also helped that I made a bit of charity work and it made me realize how it is through His Love that we understand true happiness.

this is reddit tier posting mate

That does not change anything. The simple and objective fact of the matter is that your god cannot exist. Assuming you believe the god of the OT and NT are the same god Yahweh, you run into issues.

Original Yahweh:
>part of a pantheon of gods
>not omnipotent, omniscient, or omnipresent or omnibenevolent
>god of war and weather
>god of the Jews alone as each tribe of people had their own god in the Canaanite pantheon
>not the creator of the universe

Modern Yahweh:
>omnipotent and omniscient, all loving to everybody
>god of everything
>made everything
>not just the god of jews but of all people

The fact is that you do not even worship the original Yahweh. Nor does any modern Christian, Jew, or Muslim today (though for all I know there may be a few out there). So, by your own theology and its origins, your god is not and cannot be the true god since your Yahweh and the original Yahweh are clearly not the same. When you understand the original Yahweh you understand the Bible better because all this stuff that the new Yahweh would apparently hate was all good to the original one and explains why god is testing anyone, does fucked up shit, only favors Jews, gets beaten by iron chariots, etc. Rather than make excuses to try to meld the two gods together and make them compatible, pull your head out of your ass and do research. Even if I'm full of shit to you, learn. If you believe god exists and he has a book for you to follow, maybe it's time to pick it up and learn about your own faith rather than be content with an admitted poor understanding of god and his will.

And as per 1 Peter 3:15 you should have a good reason for your faith rather than this piss poor show of ignorance. Rather than shitpost on Veeky Forums and pat yourself on the back for believing in god, go open the book written by this supposed god and read it and study it. Or do you mean to tell me you have more time for Veeky Forums than what you believe to be a book from the most powerful being alive and your apparent creator?

Blasphemer! To say that someone cannot understand the bible is to say that the word of god was not written perfectly to be understood by all men.

yeah when it gets into this level of autism, it's just bullshit rules that you can never really follow and can always get in trouble for. Meanwhile Jesus runs around threatening people with swords and shit

when did I ever say that the Bible was the only way we could understand God and his nature? It is a convenient and beautiful book, but I never made such outrageous claims. The Old Testament was discarded by the New Testament, but you need to understand the Old Testament to understand the new compromises made in the New. Also you shouldn't try to assume the theological positions of every Catholic/Christian you argue with.

If you are Christian then that is clearly what your book teaches. No debate, just fact. The Bible is very clear about certain things. I don't need to know what each sect preaches or follows, I simply need to know the book it is based on. If those people claim to be followers of said book and do not adhere to it and go against it, clearly I'd no longer be debating a Christian or a Jew or whatever other faith. I'd be dealing with someone who is either desperately making excuses, making shit up (religious fanfiction loosely based on the religion of their choice), etc. And that is the point where the debate ends regarding faith and then comes down to "even your own book does not agree with you, so what religion are you and why do you believe it to be true?" I would have to then understand a new religion entirely that this person made up.

>If you are Christian then that is clearly what your book teaches. No debate, just fact
How convenient of you to think that every christian has the same set of beliefs. It's not like there are bad Christians and Catholics.

Also, aren't you comitting a "true scotsman" fallacy since a while ago?

You're making excuses for not engaging into a honest debate because you claim I'm not a true Christian. Meanwhile I'm adressing your points as you go. You have humility but are also lazy. That's the reason you're choosing agnosticism and choosing to tell me I'm not a real Christian.

I never said all Christians have the same beliefs. I know there are lots of sects and they vary in their beliefs. My point is that unless they adhere to said Bible which defines the Christian god and is apparently a guide for what a Christian must be, I can clearly see who is a Christian and who isn't. Just like if there was a dude who claimed to be Muslim, but drank alcohol and ate pork and went against the words of the Quran and hadith, he can claim to be Muslim all he wants, but he clearly isn't. At that point citing scripture gets nobody anywhere since they made up their own religion and I have to learn about that before refuting it. Unless their beliefs are just based off of ignorance of what the source material says.

Secondly, I am not agnostic nor am I an atheist. And when I said "that is where the debate ends" I was not even talking about the conversation between us. Go read it again. If this is your level of reading comprehension it is no wonder you are so ignorant of what your holy text says. And if you are too lazy to go read your own book, try reading Mere Christianity.

>My point is that unless they adhere to said Bible which defines the Christian god and is apparently a guide for what a Christian must be

A guide doesn't provide all the answers. That's the reason it's only a guide. The Bible can't provide all the answers because it's written by flawed human hands and it's a product of it's own time. I've used it to counter some of your arguments, but not others. But it isn't the exclusive source of theological knowledge. The Catholic Church recognizes divine inspiration as a source of knowledge about God. I haven't experienced or can't claim to have experienced it. But I can read about others (Aquinas, Kant, Aristotle) that have experienced it.

But your book says that Jesus does have all the answers. Faith in him is all a Christian is ever meant to need according to scripture. He even calls himself the way and the truth.

Yes, over time apologists realized how retarded this was and attempted to add in other philosophical ideas or justifications to the faith, and that is fine. I prefer someone who is clearly not Christian but claims to be and follows a very distorted view of the Bible rather than someone who followed the Bible's words as intended, which led to a rabid doomsday ascetic messianic death cult, but then they are so far removed from Christianity as to basically not be Christian at all. Just as modern conceptions of Yahweh are an entirely different god that was changed over time. This shows the god isn't real. Because you aren't even worshiping the original god anymore. Like if over time someone took Zeus to be king of Olympus and lightning, and over time he became a single god of everything and the only god. Both would be named Zeus, but they are separate entities. And that was my point before we went off on this tangent. Because the god you call Yahweh does not exist. Yahweh was god of the Jews alone and part of a pantheon and was not omni anything.

So, you can try to rationalize it all you want, but the fact is that whatever your faith is, it isn't the true one since your faith is based off of a fanfiction of what Yahweh was according to whoever originally claimed to be his prophet.

>Yes, over time apologists realized how retarded this was and attempted to add in other philosophical ideas or justifications to the faith, and that is fine. I prefer someone who is clearly not Christian but claims to be and follows a very distorted view of the Bible rather than someone who followed the Bible's words as intended, which led to a rabid doomsday ascetic messianic death cult, but then they are so far removed from Christianity as to basically not be Christian at all. Just as modern conceptions of Yahweh are an entirely different god that was changed over time. This shows the god isn't real. Because you aren't even worshiping the original god anymore. Like if over time someone took Zeus to be king of Olympus and lightning, and over time he became a single god of everything and the only god. Both would be named Zeus, but they are separate entities. And that was my point before we went off on this tangent. Because the god you call Yahweh does not exist. Yahweh was god of the Jews alone and part of a pantheon and was not omni anything.
>So, you can try to rationalize it all you want, but the fact is that whatever your faith is, it isn't the true one since your faith is based off of a fanfiction of what Yahweh was according to whoever originally claimed to be his prophet.

I never claimed I was worshipping Yahweh or your concept of it. I've a clear concept of God. God is Love and God is Creation. God is the fountain of everything good, our natural Law and morality.

I don't know what your point is. God can also change. He's not immutable. But that doesn't mean he should change His mind according to my ideas.

Then your ideas and values aren't even remotely Christian. Which was what I was arguing against.

Granted, your vague god has no meaning since love, the universe, morality, etc., can all be understood secularly and there is then not even a firm basis to claim a god does exist or what that god is like, but that is a different matter entirely. I was arguing against the Christian concept of god, not your vague feelgood deistic nonsense.

>love, the universe, morality, etc., can all be understood secularly

People that have tried to do so found themselves in one or another part of the nihilism /anti-nihilism spectrum. And nihilism is a shitty philosophy.

>There's not even a firm basis to claim a God does exist.

Faith. As you accept the axioms that make current Mathematics (and the understanding of our universe) possible, you should accept that the existence of God is self-sufficient.

>not your vague feelgood deistic nonsense.
Dismissing my arguments doesn't make yours any less true. Note how I've never dismissed any of yours as "nonsense".

>Saying kys is a death threat

1. I understand all of those secularly and I'm theistic. These are just facts. I don't know why more knowledge would make people more nihilistic. Because none of those secular ideas takes away from how valuable morality is to humanity, the beauty of our universe, etc. If anything a truly deeper understanding of reality enhances appreciation for all of this.

2. God is not self sufficient or a necessary axiom. That argument has been brought forth and refuted ad nauseum. So far, god has not been a necessary component to anything.

3. I explained why your ideas were nonsense. I didn't just wave them away. I explained my reasoning and then said I came to refute a Christian idea of god in a thread about Christianity. Because you can call yourself Christian or whatever ya want, but from even a poor reading of the Bible it is clear that you and the Bible preach very different ideas and values.

So when I admitted that the Bible isn't the sole guideline throughout a Christian is supposed to live his life, you choose to not pay attention or entirely ignore it.

I have repeated the same ad nauseum. That Bible isn't the sole guideline for our behavior. That divine inspiration and the search of knowledge (philosophy) are legitimate ways to increase our knowledge about God.

>So far, God has not been a necessary component to anything.
> I don't know why more knowledge would make people more nihilistic.

You admit to not understand why atheistic philosophies bring people to nihilism but then you argue that God is not a necessary component to anything on the understanding of our world. Read about nihilism and its principal proponents. Read about its spectrum. You will find out that nihilism is the product of a godless philosophy. And with nihilism comes scientism, materialism and a degradation of our society.

I take it you like Immanuel Kant?

I think that the >I understand all of those secularly and I'm theistic
was a mistake on his part because he was claiming to be agnostic.

Unless I'm engaging in discussion with another person and then he should've been clear that he's another person.

>So when I admitted that the Bible isn't the sole guideline throughout a Christian is supposed to live his life, you choose to not pay attention or entirely ignore it.

Because you are wrong. The Bible and Jesus himself say that it is all you need. Jesus himself claimed this. To go against that is to preach a very different value system than Christ did. So, you are not then Christian.

As for the rest of what you say, it's absurd. Scientific understanding of our universe leads to societal degradation? No. There are many things that can degrade a society, knowing shit but not being shackled to some concept of god isn't one of them. Funnily enough, religious dogma and adhering to such an outdated ideology can degrade a society pretty radically as we saw in Europe in the middle ages and the issues with Islam. And unless your view of atheism is Communist purges and other ideologies that adopted atheism, it would be clear that a moral atheism is far preferable to all of this dogmatic bickering. And, yes, atheists can be moral. Morality is a trait most humans have even if it does vary wildly. Not beliving in a god does not turn someone into an amoral degenerate anymore than religion stopped the various amoral degenerates in the past. Hell, religious institutions have hardly been safe from such corruption.

I never claimed to be agnostic. In my first post I even said "I'm not that guy".

>Mathematics is only possible because of faith!
This must be satire.

>the bible is an account of 2 chad kids bullying a 3rd beta during yeshuva