Post Veeky Forums paintings that make you wish you were a Veeky Forums figure

The actual painting doesn't have to be old, idiot.

>yfw never be a troubadour that pines for the love of a woman you know can never openly love you back

This painting just has something about it that makes me feel comfy feelings.

courtly love was the beginning of modern cuckoldry

>The actual painting doesn't have to be old, idiot.

So what does it have to be, idiot?

I'm guessing you're an ignoramus. Oh wait, I don't need to guess.

Why are you so upset?

Fuck it would have been a great time to be alive.

If you were a noble

>painting of the richest 0.0001%
>their wealth allows them to be surrounded by gold while playing billiards in uncomfortable clothes

Such an awesome time!

It has to depict a historical event, culture or something like that. It doesn't have to actually be old itself.

Meanwhile few hours later

great time it was to be alive

slippers, form fitting leggings, flowing coats. why would the men be uncomfortable?

what is the actual history behind comfy?

You would want to go fight and risk being dismembered or given an ungodly wound in an era with no anesthetic in order to receive the "favor" of some high fallutin dame whats not gonna fuck you ever because youre not married?

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>tfw I will never be a Greek hero completing an impossible mission and pick up a top tier waifu on the way back like I was picking up McDonalds

fairytale-tier fantasies are top-tier though

Well of course he ultimately failed, but what he did was absolutely amazing. I mean he was the greatest general in history and he was probably the only one that could have pulled it off, but it's not fair to hold that against him.

Would be nice to hear what those guys were discussing/arguing with each other.

memes

Then out spake brave Horatius,
The Captain of the Gate:
"To every man upon this earth
Death cometh soon or late.
And how can man die better
Than facing fearful odds,
For the ashes of his fathers,
And the temples of his Gods."

>ywn be a knight with a qt redhead gf waiting for you at home while you btfo mudslimes and regain the promised land

>gonna fuck you ever because youre not married

unless you're a Plantagenet, they fucked all the ladies...married, unmarried, widow, whatever.

that painting has way too many feels.

>ywn fuck Greek/Roman qts against a dazzling Mediterranean view

>It has to depict a historical event, culture or something like that.

Well then it still doesn't qualify...

I only can imagine the gigantic shitshow those battle were if the paintings were exactly correct.

"Far be it that the King of Bohemia should run away. Instead, take me to the place where the noise of the battle is the loudest. The Lord will be with us. Nothing to fear. Just take good care of my son."

They don't make men like they used to.

Romulo avec le premiere spolia opima

I know this pain deeply

The works of Leighton and Godward are among my favorites. Both really knew how to capture female beauty and romantic settings perfectly.

Being a Gallowglass seems like a pretty comfy existence tbqh

>ywn dedicate your life to worshiping your lady, fighting and dying in her name, all in the hopes of her showing you some minor attention, while she gets savagely plowed every night by her fat husband your liege

Is that what you mean?

Anyone know that painting, where it's two women sitting at a table making 'come fuck me' eyes at the viewer while a man at that table stares at the viewer in pure hate?

>you will never be a norman scot half breed protecting the borders of eire

Feels kinda crappy

No.

>implying this isn't all happening while you bang all of her ladies in waiting and all of the bar wenches and random peasant girls

Imagine a time when having pride in your society was the norm and it was still possible to find purpose in defending it

It's about protecting your future. Your women and children. It was always about the progeny, and the pride of greater survival that came with it.

>nazi salute
were the romans evil white supremacists nazis?

i hope this is sarcasm

>One Philisophe points downwards, towards the earth, implying a more geometric form of philosophy

>The teacher points towards the sky, signifying that their philosophy is still ultimately based upon the heavens

But the artwork tells you what they were probably talking about senpai.

>en.wikipedia.org/wiki/God_Speed_(painting)

No, you're not even close.
You have squandered your credibility and now no one on Veeky Forums will take your opinions seriously.

You must see that the time this was painted factors in.

It may not be as it was but even now any romantic endeavor in that environment is pretty well-suited by nature.

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*dies horribly in melee battle in three feet of mud*

>Trips and gets crushed underfoot by buddies.

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If that's what you think "come fuck me" eyes are, we might have to talk...

The Napoleonic Code is certainly an enduring legacy of his.

His actions changed the entire world, directly or indirectly. What are you on about?

If you mean there is no World Empire with a Bonaparte as Head of State now, then yeah, what a loser.

> I know one thing, that I know nothing.

That's powerful stuff
I don't even love medieval history that much but king john the blind always gets me

you will never again trample enemies of your homeland and tamp dozen of them on your lance

Yea, cos u dead nigga

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

are you fucking retarded or have you never taken a history course? he arguably did more for german unification than bisquick

I'm not trying to be inflammatory here but do you guys think there's a comparison being drawn at all between the three primary subjects in foreground and three background subjects? I just think the contrast between them is stark. Is it incidental or is there some point to it?

Say it like it is, son. Are those niggers in the foreground being niggers or what?

I mean, steamrolling Europe isn't exactly an extraordinary feat in itself. Charlemagne did it before Napoleon, and Hitler did it after, and in all three cases the empires fell apart shortly afterwards.

Rome lasted for a long time because their main concern wasn't to acquire as much land as possible but instead focused on conquering land that was valuable. The reason they didn't go further north into Scotland or Germania wasn't because they couldn't -- if they had wanted to they most likely could have -- but because those areas were deemed too poor to justify the cost of conquering and maintaining them.

easy

What does the towel on her head represent? And the cats expression?

Me on the left

The cat is just a cat, the towel on her head is traditional costume for eating an Ortolan; a forcefed bird that was drowned in alcohol and then baked in the oven, then eaten whole.

Oregano oregano this comment is fucking original.

Facebook four-chong page admin?

Oregano commentary

Why is this not oregano yet?

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>dies shitting himself in a hospital bed

Odd, can't seem to find a painting for that.

I'm the sitting oldfag with the itty bitty white top knot smoking the hookah and laughing his ass off.

>ywn take part of revolutionary fashion movements with thicc qt boys

>lorica segmentata and fully rectangular scutums in the 1st century BC
reeeeeeeeeeee

how was the scutum formed if not fully rectangular? honestly asking

my background pic

gives me sad, comfy feels

too bad nazis got butthurt and gommies ruined its reconstruction

Why is the leftmost woman smoking a fucking CIGARETTE?

Backstory?

>franco-prussian war
>french general abel douay gets told there's a border town that's nicely undefended to go grab shit from
>leads 8000 men there, occupies the town
>suddenly surrounded by ten times his number in prussians, turns out the town wasn't undefended after all and his superiors were idiots
>clumsily tries to save his men, gets utterly btfo, personally struck down by artillery
>surprisingly only loses 1000-2000 men, prussian cavalry fails to ride the french down in their retreat
>painting depicts melancholic prince friedrich wilhelm visiting the impromptu funeral of a man who faithfully served his master (emperor) and the people who counted on him to the bitter end, his dog poetically keeping vigil

There are white countries (Europe). There are black countries (Africa). There are mixed countries (Brazil, South-Africa, Caribbean). Then there is immigration from black countries to white countries. And in all cases, an increase of black heritage is associated with a drop in civilizational key factors.

addendum: friedrich figured that douay died beyond Prussian rifle range, which gave rise to a rumour that he was shot by his own men for ordering the retreat. overall theme of the painting is still loyalty to the bitter end.

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>you will never shoot the swedish king

>ywn serve your country in a continental war
>ywn never reap glory for your country
>ywn never die for your country
>your children and widow will never remember you as a national hero

Why even fucking live goddamnit please kill me now

??? I am pretty sure you're on the wrong thread.

>>your children and widow will never remember you as a national hero
"cuck you with tyrone
if you're talking about france

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Or America

Why does the dog look so demonic?

Saved. Friedrich III is such a likable person

Much better take on the subject