Sayings of Diogenes the Maddest:
>When he was once entering the house of a courtesan, and one of the lads who was with him blushed, he said, 'It's not going in that is bad, but unable to get out again.'.
>Seeing a young man behaving in a giddy and deranged fashion, he said, 'Young man, your father must have been drunk when he begot you'.'
>"Seeing an old woman beautifying herself, he said, 'If that's for the living, you're out of your wits, if it's for the dead, don't be too slow about it."
>"When someone chided Diogenes on seeing him coming out of a brothel, he said, 'What's the matter then, should I have been coming out of your house?'
>"Seeing an Ethiopian shitting, he said, 'Just like a leaky cauldron!'"
>"Seeing a woman who was beautiful but small, he said, 'That's what they call a half-evil.'"
>"When someone pointed out to him that a woman was being carried away by a river, and said, 'Lets try to save her', he replied, 'Oh let the notorious evil be carried away by another evil.'
>"Diogenes was admonishing a man of thoroughly bad character, and when someone asked him what he was doing, he replied, 'Scrubbing an Ethiopian to turn him white.'"
[when Diogenes was a slave]
>"It is said that when he observed that one of the purchasers, who was suffering from the female disease [an eunuch], was not at all masculine in his appearance, he went up to him and said, 'Why don't you buy me, since it seems to me that you could do with a man.'"
>"When someone asked him, "What sort of a man do you consider Diogenes to be, he [Plato] replied, 'Socrates gone mad'"
>"Diogenes would constantly say that to manage our lives properly, we need either reason or rope."