I have to learn the entire human history in about a week, can I get a quick rundown, Veeky Forums...

What isn't?

>implying anyone except the Jews believes the place is God given to them
>Canaanites are never mentioned (unless it's the caveman)
>Byzantines kicking out the Romans (top kek)
>Palestine being in Arab hands before British mandate

dunno man i found it on Veeky Forums years ago

Actually, can someone give me a quick rundown on the entirety of the middle ages? Doesn't even matter if it's in meme format but what I've gotten so far being dumb and all is

>feodalism leads to the crown losing power due to county independence n sheet
>constant disputes between the crown and nobles
>christianity is spreading
>kingz/nobles use religion to divide and conquer
>shits looking bretty good but then everyone dies due to rat aids
>restart
>farmers are in high demand because people dead
>crown wants to retake power
>shit ensues
>etc

So feminist garbage combined with le WE'RE ALL THE SAME BORDER CANNOT REAL meme, nice.

Modern humans eventually migrated to other parts of Africa and eventually into Europe and Asia.

>So feminist garbage
Kek triggered by a woman who made a video about goddesses.

>WE'RE ALL THE SAME BORDER CANNOT REAL meme
I am confused what you mean.

then modern humans encounter Neanderthals. somehow all the Neanderthals mysteriously disappeared and modern humans were the only big group of humans left on the planet.

>rome falls
>goths take over europe
>everyone is dumb until about the 12th century when a bunch of greek and latin literature is rediscovered (esp aristotle)

Now that I know it was made by a w*man I won't watch any further.

humans continued to spread and became very good hunter gatherers able to thrive in many environments. We learned to make weapons for specific animals, clothes for specific climates, shelters that can be deconstructed, tools to make everyday life easier, and use fire to burn down forests to kill and eat the small and slow animals. we also dabbled in a little bit of art with cave paintings and small statues. Nothing changed for thousands of years.

Goddamnt

>>everyone is dumb until about the 12th century when a bunch of greek and latin literature is rediscovered (esp aristotle)
kek

and, correct me if im wrong, the classical antiquity era was basically
>first greek civilzation spawn on minos
>its greek and stuff
>???
>trojan war happens, brad pitt dies and despite being unrelated a dark age follows where nothing really happens for about 300 years
>greek borders spread around the mediterranean coast lines due to overpopulation
>athens is the cultural center of the scattered greek states and everyone follows suit, around the same time the greco-persian war happen
>athens and sparta duke it out over colonial control
>shit is all broken after the war so alexander decides to basically rule everything and fuck half the world for 12 years before dying
>Rome is actually a thing but doesnt really matter until it becomes a republic
>*rome ensues*

Then somebody realized that if they plant seeds in one place and come back the next year there would be new plants in that area ready to harvest.

Later someone else realized that if they stay in the same place and plant seeds, catch and breed animals, and build permanent shelters; they could have food and safety all year long. Thus farming was born.

Everyone started farming together in big communities. So farming brought other concepts with it such as ownership/property, inheritance, marriage to ensure inheritance, bartering/trading property, locks so people wouldn't steal your shit, and laws with punishments to stop people from fucking with your property, fucking your wife, and stealing your shit or children. Thus civilization and the first cities were born(probably somewhere around the Indus river valley).

then a bunch of wars and shit happened.....and here we are today.

D-Don't stop user-kun..

>what is reverse image search

I haven't read it, but isn't the book "Sapiens" a pretty fashionable macrohistory right now?

Now with so much farming there's more than enough food to feed everyone and some people don't have to farm anymore. They needed special people to make special things like buildings, tools(stone was out bronze was in), and words.

Everything was changing:
Houses went from mud and thatch to mud-bricks
Buildings went from mud and sticks to stone and carved wood
Tribal chiefs turned into petty kings
Art went from "kind of shitty" to "okay"
Spirits turned into gods
Gods turned into Super Gods
People could be property now(slaves)
You can have animals that you don't eat anymore
We can ride animals now
We can make animals do the farming for us
And women lost some rights

70000 BC small group of survivors of a volcanic eruption spread through the world

50000 BC humans have reached as far as Australia

10000 BC Ice age ends, humans reach America, agriculture begins in Mesopotamia

5000 BC neolithic revolution in old world as agriculture spreads throughout the world, something similar happens in 3500 BC in Mesoamerica, flood plains which are best suited to agriculture become populous

2000 BC bronze age in full swing

~1100 BC bronze age collapse, iron discovered, populous urbanized civilization spreads from the flood plains

400 BC to 50 AD empires like Persia, the Han and Roman empire arise and reach their apex, intensive agriculture spreads further

~200 Han and Roman empires go through a crisis

~500 the old empires have disintegrated but new cultures have arisen in northern europe, arabia, the steppes and japan

~900 Tang dynasty leads technological changes, more cultures arise in eastern Europe, west Africa, the malay archipelago and south east asia, populations grown in western Europe making it a populous region like India and China, the next 500 years are an interesting era

1400s gunpowder and a plethora of other innovations have spread, trade connects Europe to Mediterranean trade allowing them quicker access to new tech and the ability to implement them on a large scale leading to more innovations like the printing press and long distance ocean going ships

1500s trade volume increases further fueling early industry, the great exchange takes place

1600s the economy has become sophisticated with companies and enclosures replacing ad-hoc guilds and manorialism, science emerges and more focussed attempts to advance technology begin

1700s early industrial revolution in Britain, global trade intensifies

This is great, mind giving me a rundown on Europe during the middle ages? My knowledge is very fragmented

Cities now have enough people to make armies and take over all the farms around them, then make the farms pay for it in food and women. Some farmers don't have enough food or women to pay so the city decides to make currency, gives coins to the farmers for food and women, then take the coins back as taxes. Now if the farmer wants food or women he has to work harder to get coins to pay the city. City-States are a thing now.

City-States talk to each other sometimes and trade what they can farm, mine, or steal that the other City-State doesn't have. Now people can share pots, fruits, and drugs from far away places.

Every now and then a City-state would take over a farm that belonged to another City-state. They would fight over the farm. So City states started having regular patrols and built walls to protect the City's richest people. That didn't always work and cities swallowed up other cities to make Countries/Kingdoms/Empires.

>Her daughter also does porn.
>Similarly stacked.
>No mother-daughter incest scenes.

post daughter

Mom:
boobpedia.com/boobs/Maritza_Mendez

Daughter:
boobpedia.com/boobs/Silvia_Loret

fug

m8 you're gr8, you're providing that needed common thread to bind together all the pieces of fragmented knowledge lost in the abyss of my brain

Objective Gaynesss.
Tell their stories like they would want them told, oh wait, you're another low IQ Veeky Forums poster from Reddit with leftwing tendancies. Kill yourself.
Men came from the sacred, raised by the gods of the land. First and foremost among civilized men were the Mesopotamians who sailed out from the Levant carrying their culture and their goods. During this time Egypt raised the grain to touch the sun. The Chinese did some shit but who cares? The next to rise was the Hellenic world carrying their traditions beyond the edge of their maps and encountering the eastern civilizations. From the mighty Hellenes came the first Nordic Empire of Rome. Rome set the foundation in what we would define as Empire and Civilization due to what we now know about them. Christ is born and makes good on the promise of the gods. The word of the all mighty is carried far and wide by the iron fist of Rome.Rome becomes wealthy and degenerates then crumbles. Germanics and Gallics pick of the pieces of their Nordic brothers. Egypt falls apart. The world is in darkness without Rome but Christianity carries the torch of Wisdom, Islam arises in the east bringing together the desert tribes under a singular prophet for a purpose no less than global dominion. The Europeans are more or less civilized and two gods clash in the epic struggle of the crusades.
You do the rest.

Cool movie.

Damn would i give to do both at the dame time.

>implying that's her daughter, and not some random whore
>implying they're actually attractive, without tons of photoshop

None of them ever did videos.

People got gud at war. Bronze was out iron was in. Kingdoms changed the game with bigger armies, more money, and more religion. Now people could be killed because they worship the wrong gods or if the gods want a sacrifice or if the king wants your shit and says the gods wanted him to do it.

Cities get better and worse
GOOD:
more art and culture
more career opportunities if you didn't want to be a farmer
more trade and luxuries
more people
more religion

BAD:
more religion
cities spread disease so you can die from shitting out all of your liquid
cities could catch fire and you could burn because tiled roofs were too expesive
cities can get sieged or sacked so you can die to an army or barbarians
some random dickhead could shank you
also when cities started no one was hunting and gathering anymore. So if the farms stopped making food for whatever reason people in the cities would starve to death like a herd of retards because they don't teach you how to hunt or plant wheat in University.

to be honest I don't really know where else to go from here.

TIME SKIP/

people got better at killing, art, building, and orginizing religion. Then they eventual spread to other parts of the world and killed other people and forced the new people to adopt the art, build the buildings, and swallow the religion or else...

1. humans evolved and everyone lived in multiracial harmony, ruled over by perfectly benevolent women. There were no wars and everyone used 45 different pronouns
2. Evil white men overthrew this perfect society
3. Evil white men proceeded to steal every technological advance made by brown, yellow and black people, innately understand their workings and use them with infinitely greater effectiveness then their creators
4. evil white men ruled the world and, despite being evil, laid the foundation of the modern world
5. despite being evil and masters of everything, the evil white men gave away power to women/black/brown/yellow/whatever people, who were able to once agains try to create a perfect society
6. this is to be achieved by being offended at absolutely everything, all the time, until topia is achieved.

Is "evil white men" code for "proto indo Europeans?"

The Canaanite is the one killing the caveman.

She's also acknowledged the thing about the Byzantines killing the Romans being inaccurate, but she wanted to portray the shift from united Roman Empire to Eastern Roman empire, and doing it any other way would have broken the pace of the video.

...

300s Late Antiquity Constantine Goths

400-500 Western Roman Empire invaded by Germanics and Attila. Justinian retakes Italy and Carthage but Lombards invade Italy later. Dark ages

600 to ~800 Islamic invasions, Umayyads invade France, beaten back by Charles Martel. Charlemagne starts Carolingian renaissance.

800s Vikings spread throughout the seas and rivers, invade Francia and British isles, found cities like Kiev and Novgorod in Eastern Europe. Alfred the Great. Magyars in Hungary.

900s Otto I defeats Hungarians and founds Holy Roman Empire. Hungary, Poland and Scandinavia christianized.

1000s Italian trading cities rise to prominence, Normans invade England and Sicily. Crusades. Castles and knights become a thing.

1100s Medieval warm period, populations grow, various polities arise like the Spanish kingdoms

1200s Mongol invasions, crusader states crumble, Marco Polo

1300s Plague, 100 years war, beginnings of the renaissance

1400s printing press, guns, caravels, reconquista, renaissance begins, gunpowder states unite large areas under single polities

topkek
user getting triggered by genitals

>all softcore

NYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAARGGGGGGHHH

MOMMY GIVE ME YOUR MILKY!!!

pic rel.
/thread.

4000~2000 BC
1. God creates the world
2. Humans rebel against God
3. Wickedness and evil are rampant
4. God sends a global flood and spares 1 family

2000~0 BC
5. People repopulate
6. Everyone gathers around Babylon, Mesopotamia to build a giant tower to say "FUCK YOU" to God
7. God confounds the universal language (Hebrew or Aramaic)
8. Humans scatter all over world, taking Babylonian paganism with them
9. God uses 1 man to build a nation out of which the Savior would come
10. Israel goes through an endless cycle of rebellion and repentance
11. God lets Israel be conquered after they practice paganism

>***Pivotal Point in History***
12. The Savior is born, lives a perfect life, dies and resurrects on the 3rd day. Death and Satan are defeated.
>***Pivotal Point in History***

0~2017 AD
13. Devil tries to stamp out Christianity, fails
14. Devil infiltrates and corrupts the faith from within, birth of Roman Catholicism
15. People have had enough of corruption, start the Protestant Reformation
16. Devil abandons theology and births atheism/naturalism and theory of evolution
17. Living in the final days of deception and the Falling Away
18. New World Order, Antichrist, rebuilding of the Tower of Babel.
19. Jesus Christ comes back and throws the devil and unbelievers into Hellfire.

20. Eternal bliss, paradise and Garden of Eden restored

thanks senpai

genius

bit lewd

FUCK OFF WITH THIS BAIT PICTURES AND STOP POSTING BIG BOOBED ASS WOMEN WITHOUT ANY CONTEXT, YOU LITERAL /B/AUTIST!!!

Here's the revised version.

t.Anatoly Fomenko

what's the difference?

t. jealous girl

>le trigger maymay
Go back to Facebook faggot.

Do your own fucking homework.

Holy fucking shit.

I am, you sound like a bitter nerd though.

>i am
>goes online to get people to help him with year 11 homework
You should probably kill yourself.

Ah, so you were a bitter nerd

>softcore

/thread

T H A L E S

no greeks and roman empire.

Do your own homework Cortana