Be British

>Be British
>Swear to protect France
>Enemy shows up
>RUN AWAY RUN AWAAAY
>Barely fire any shots, run to the beaches
>Sit on French beaches for days waiting for civilian vessels to come pick you up and save you from the scary bad guys
>Meanwhile France fights, holding the line against all odds to protect you
>Successfully run away
>Hide away on your Island cowering in fear for as long as possible
>America joins
>Act like you've been deep in the shit this entire time, all snobby
>Your troops get massacred by Germans constantly so largely be sent to fight tired Italians who don't even want to fight, an even match for a motivated Englishman
>For some God forsaken reason the allies decide to let Britons strategize after their campaigns in WWI
>Operation Market Garden and other terrible disasters happen, obviously
>Some Brits contribute, though, being excellent at espionage and basically anything not involving fighting. Bombing German women and children is another example.
>Also successfully supply Americans, the spearhead and greatest force in the Western front, with supplies shipped across the Atlantic, great cheerleaders.
>Continue with minimal contributions until America permits the worthless Russian scum with 80% of their supplies given to them by you and America to take Germany, while America ends the entire Pacific war.
>70 years later
>OI WE WON THA SECUND WALD WAAAAAAAAA

Other urls found in this thread:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Arras_(1940)
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Dunkirk#Retreat_to_Dunkirk
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

Every Brit living on the British Isles should be either genocided or put in a harsh concntration camp where they may contribute something to Europe

>Be French
>Surrender in 5 days

>Be degenerate Western sissy
>Betray Czechoslovakia
>Betray Poland
>Surrender/run after after a week of real battle
>Open Western front after 5 years of war

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Arras_(1940)

Tbh USA was the only western allied power that did anything of worth during WW2.

Don't forget when they stabbed their ""ally"" in the back when sinking the french fleet without prior provocation right after france formally surrendered

Why isn't that Frenchman flying the French flag?

Pretty sure it was 45
Still pathetic as fuck, but the thing is that frogs are treated like they deserves regarding their performance in WW2, while bongs arent

fuck you, retard

Canada did all the shit jobs for the British (Protecting the convoys, Oronta, Dieppe, Juno, Caen, Closing the Falise Gap with the based Poles, clearing the Low Countries post Market-Garden fuck up) but because of affiliation to the Commonwealth these are British "Victories" The same goes with the Aussies and Kiwi's in North Africa.

Should have left the Brits to starve on their island desu.

...

>using clueless Chad memes about France's military exploits on the history board
I think you got the wrong door.

*based Poles, who flocked to serve in the RAF and defend the British from the Blitz, but were treated as second class citizens throughout the war and 70 years on.

>Chad memes
Wow, you sure got me there m8. I think I'll have to surrender now. Oh wait, I'm not French. LMAO

Newfag or teenager?
Either way, you should seriously avoid to reply to buttdevasted britbongs

Here based thread take this webm of protection +1 against Angloposters. They will watch and have a 60% chance of critical banter failure due to tears.

>Be French
>Stay obsessed with Brits for centuries because of your blatant inferiority to them in every regard

If it's the French who are so obsessed, why is it always Brits who shitpost about them and not the other way around?

Also, your pic is a sign about France raised by britbongs in Britland, further proving my point
You'll never find something similar about Britain in France

AHAHAHHAA, frogs BTFO.

Why did Paris plant so many trees on their streets? So enemy armies can march in the shade

Why do French tanks only have a rear view mirror?
So they can see their enemy

I hate you slimy french bastards with a passion. Your capital city is a roach infested shit pit, if dubs a meteor falls on Paris

>So enemy armies can march in the shade

The joke is "the German army", not "enemies army"
If there's one army that'll never conquer Paris, it's the British one

>Your capital city is a roach infested shit pit

Yours aint much better, my British fellow

That accounts for every European capital desu.

>A few threads on /pol/ somehow prove your point
Reach a little harder, you're almost grasping that straw! The French are so obsessed with Britain that they crippled their own economy just to piss the Brits off in the American Revolution.

>You'll never find something similar about Britain in France
You're right. For example, Brits never gave up their country without even putting up a fight like a bunch of cowardly pussies.

You really want to go there?

>A few threads on /pol/ somehow prove your point
More than assuming who is who on the flagless board that is Veeky Forums

>French are so obsessed with Britain that they crippled their own economy just to piss the Brits off in the American Revolution.
Yeah, and Brits are so obsessed about the French that they mounted seven coalitions just to overthrow the French ruler of the period
Brits were so obsessed about France, that they waged a 100 years long war just in hope that their French kings could recover their ancestral homeland

>Brits never gave up their country without even putting up a fight like a bunch of cowardly pussies
What is 1066?
>inb4 Hastings was a great resistance
One fucking battle and the country fell
At least France fought several battles in 1940

>"If the British Army lands in Europe, I'll get the Belgian police to arrest them."

Yatangaki

>mfw it takes one nog with a machet to BTFO a British soldier

No wonder you lost at Isandlwana....

Business as usual desu.

>Yeah, and Brits are so obsessed about the French that they mounted seven coalitions just to overthrow the French ruler of the period
>Brits were so obsessed about France, that they waged a 100 years long war just in hope that their French kings could recover their ancestral homeland
That still has nothing on sending your entire country into destitution for the sole purpose of one-upping another country in a war that had nothing to do with you. That's Odyssey-tier obsession right there.

>What is 1066?
Before the UK was even a thing. And you clearly haven't done your homework if you think they lost that battle without putting up a fight. At least they actually tried. You guys just opened your asscheeks to the Nazis the minute they came knocking on your door. Pathetic.

Your country's entire existence is nothing but one big joke.

It's literally more likely to be hit by a lightning bolt than to die in a terrorist attack in a Western country, and yet people go outside. So, yes, I'd go there.

It'd also be much, much more likely for you to die in a car crash driving to France than to die of intentional violence in France.

Fear of terrorism is only something for people that don't know anything about statistics. It's probably the most silly phenomenon of the 21st century.

I'd like to ask where these (((statistics))) came from.

Global Terrorism Database to get a grasp on the number of terror attacks coupled with a studies from Risk Analysis institutes such as those working with insurances to get a grasp on daily dangers.

I'm too lazy to open my files to get you exact citations, but it's not hard to look up.

I think you have it the other way around nigel

>a studies
a number of studies*

>Be British
>3,300,000 combined troops from allies
>Germans have 3,350,000 troops
>Ok, they have less tanks, and the French made that giant wall near Belgium.
> Oh fuck they have way more planes than us.
> Oh fuck the French thought the Ardennes was actually the wall.
> Fuck shit, planes everywhere.
> Bong and Frog scramble to figure out what to do.
> Frog dies en masse trying to protect Paris.
>Watch entire French army get btfo'd by kraut war machine.
> Attempt to counter-attack to relieve presure on French.
> Germans under every rock and behind every door.
> Decide that perhaps they should leave.
> Hitler says men are tired and need to rest.
> France surrenders
> Brits grab every Frog soldiers they can find and make a break for it.
> Bong and Frog slip back onto rainy island.
> German generals btfo'd
> Japs fuck with everything that the Krauts aren't
> Krauts fuck with North Africa.
> Fucking Rommel and his speed racer tanks.
> It is like this for three years.
> Krauts bomb city day and night since invasion is suicidal.
> Poles, Canadians, Yanks, Czechs, and Frogs fly planes for a while for Bongs, very effective.
> Yanks btfo Japan and Japan btfo's them
> Yanks in war now
> Rek everything in North Africa
> But hey, we have some cool special forces now.
> Invade Italy, fug Anzio
> Italian army not so good, gets replaced with Krauts.
> Shit is even worse.
> Spend time in fucking mountains fighting over art.
> Finally going back to France.
>Parachute into Normandy with Canadians and Americans.
>Land on beaches with them as well.
>SAS and Airborne regiments wreak havoc across Germany lines by night while Highlander regiments, Engineers, and other infantry regiments partake in intense urban combat in Caen.
> Fucking awful, bombed every other day and snipers at night.
> Take Caen after fucking ever.
> Market Garden.
> Everyone wants to use Airborne after Overlord.
> Dutch are no god damn help.

> In fact, main intelligence officer in Netherlands gives entire plan to Krauts.
> Market Garden turns into a shit show.
> Fails
> Help French resistance for next year until France is liberated.
> 70 years later some Frenchaboo says that we didn't do anything and that the French dindu nuffin after after their country became a Nazi puppet.

MIRACLE OF DUNKIRK WAS REAL IN MY MIND

> Hitler says men are tired and need to rest.
> France surrenders
> Brits grab every Frog soldiers they can find and make a break for it.

You got that part wrong, Nigel
The French fought so Brits could evacuate, then the British took some frogs with them as a reward, and then France surrendered

Why is this board filled with angry Frenchmen and Germans? Do you really have so few modern accomplishments that you have to look back into the distant past to give your nationhood some meaning?

>when sinking the french fleet without prior provocation right after france formally surrendered

Are you retarded or something?

France surrendered, and would have had its navy seized, giving Germany one of the largest navies in the world and posing an existential threat to the Allied war effort. Bombing the shit out of the cucks in North Africa was probably the most bold and desperate move of the war and it paid off, since the Germans ended up trying to seize the French navy at anchor later on anyway. Imagine if the Germans had possessed another 8 battleships to threaten Arctic convoys with.

Britain was willing to fight alone against all the odds. France surrendered with German troops barely 80 miles inside its borders.

Veeky Forums was and always will be a germanic board
go back to your /pol/ safespace you filthy anglo

If it mean anything, Brits still remember the Dieppe raid as being a Canadian thing and absolutely essential to the later success of D-Day.

Not him, but are you retarded? The French fleet was in the Mediterranean, and couldn't leave it against a held Suez or Gibraltar any more than the already existing (and considerably stronger) Italian fleet could. The fleet at Mers El Kebir posed no actual threat to the British, especially since the German attempt to seize the fleet at Toulon ended in said fleet being scuttled.

My mistake Nappy, Rommel shit himself at Arras, which was a joint Anglo-French armor battle with three British Tank divisions and one French tank division, in which they scared Rommel into thinking that there were " Hundreds of tanks " laying in wait for them. The Germans were now terrified of the idea of another attack at Arras so they moved several divisions there. Only the Bongs and Frogs had already left. This left the Allies time to dig in at Dunkirk and then hold off the Germans there.

>British took some frogs with them as a reward

How the fuck is risking an entire evacuation operation for over 100,000 frogs a " reward " ?

>while bongs arent
Probably because Britain was an extremely important contributor to the war despite Dunkirk.

>1 person being killed in a 12 year terrorist attack-free period is the same as the Bataclan, Normandy, and Nicé attacks all happening within a few years.

Some serious cognitive dissonance here.

" I'm mad because Germany lost the two wars that counted. "

>The French fleet was in the Mediterranean
Ah you mean Vichy France then.

Navies also can move, letting it fall into Nazi hands is full blown retarded, they did the right thing.

You forget that most of the French soldiers that retreated to Britain taking up the space that British soldiers could have taken up, ended up slipping back into France and surrendering to the Germans, spending the rest of the war in POW camps or joining the Waffen-SS.

t. angloshit so traumatized he's larping as g*rm

>back to your /pol/ safespace

>Navies also can move, letting it fall into Nazi hands is full blown retarded, they did the right thing.

Not through minefields you retard. Why do you think the Italians never sent so much as a cruiser through the Strait of Gibraltar?

>When the colonizer becomes the colony

Really? Fucking Frogs.

>since the German attempt to seize the fleet at Toulon ended in said fleet being scuttled.

The power of hindsight. Do you really think in 1940 it didn't look like the spineless men of France wouldn't have had the pride of their fleet seized by Jerry? The British even offered the fleet the chance to become Free French and fight the people who had occupied their homeland and abused them, or at least to sail their ships to a neutral port in the Americas.

You also seem to be forgetting that the Germans ended up landing forces in North Africa anyway.

Britain wasn't going to hinge its entire destiny and freedom on a couple of hundred frogs being competent enough to scuttle their ships. Toulon was a miraculously lucky event, not a given.

If that fleet had been seized and united with Regia Marina at Taranto it could have led to the total extinguishing of the Allied bases at Malta, Cyprus etc. and cut off the links to the East.

trips of truth

>You also seem to be forgetting that the Germans ended up landing forces in North Africa anyway.

What the fuck does that have to do with anything?

>Britain wasn't going to hinge its entire destiny

It wasn't you goddamn retard. 4 obsolete battleships that are stuck in a lake do not pose an existential threat to Britain, even if Germany does actually seize them.

>If that fleet had been seized and united with Regia Marina at Taranto it could have led to the total extinguishing of the Allied bases at Malta, Cyprus etc. and cut off the links to the East.

No it couldn't, because of a magical thing called "airplanes" that actually ended up dominating the naval aspect of the Mediterranean. That's even assuming they had enough oil to sail them, which the Regia Marina alone usually didn't have.

I'm not saying it was a bad call. In fact, the impact it had on America probably justifies it alone, if nothing else does. But pretending the fleet at Mers El Kebir is an actual threat to Britain is just stupid.

Island rats dindu nuffin (400k deaths during whole fucking war, literally nothing) but no one blame them for this, unlike French, who were considered as cowards due to lack of giant channel between them and Germany.
t. Not French or German

>Britain was an extremely important contributor

I'm German and what is this?
Only America and Russia mattered

>What the fuck does that have to do with anything?

I was addressing the implication that Germany wouldn't have been able to seize the ships because they were at anchor because they were in North Africa.

>4 obsolete battleships that are stuck in a lake do not pose an existential threat to Britain, even if Germany does actually seize them

In 1940 people did not have the same faith in naval bombing that they do now with the power of hindsight. Britain saw the fleet as a dangerous threat, that's why they destroyed it. It doesn't matter that we know now that a few dozen piece of shit wooden planes might have fucked them over as Taranto and Pearl Harbour later proved.

>No it couldn't, because of a magical thing called "airplanes" that actually ended up dominating the naval aspect of the Mediterranean

Those airplanes wouldn't have meant shit if the islands had fallen due to convoy interdiction by a German Mediterranean fleet. It was only that the supply runs to Malta and Alexandria weren't interrupted by a larger Axis fleet that meant there were enough airplanes to eventually dominate the Mediterranean region.

>That's even assuming they had enough oil to sail them, which the Regia Marina alone usually didn't have.

Well that's assuming the Germans would have given the ships to Italy, which I highly doubt would have ever happened.

>But pretending the fleet at Mers El Kebir is an actual threat to Britain is just stupid.

It was a threat, but more importantly it was SEEN as a massive threat. The UK had spent a century trying to guarantee naval dominance on the Gibraltar - Suez - India - Singapore route, and in one fell swoop all of that had been threatened. The naval war was already as a close run thing with the sinking of the ships in the Alexandria harbour and the destruction of the Singapore task force by the Japanese.

To be fair what we now call World War II would have ended in 1940 in Britain had done the sensible thing and come to terms.

The state of Veeky Forums

>To be fair
Nope, Germany still need Lebensraum and Eastern lands.

>I was addressing the implication that Germany wouldn't have been able to seize the ships because they were at anchor because they were in North Africa.

And it takes hours to seize ships and minutes to scuttle them. The ability of the Germans to seize ships has to do with an assumption that the French will allow them to do so, which is based on..... nothing really.

>In 1940 people did not have the same faith in naval bombing that they do now with the power of hindsight. Britain saw the fleet as a dangerous threat, that's why they destroyed it.

It's not even about naval bombing vs the battleship. The French fleet is not an existential threat because it can't leave the Meditterranean.

>Those airplanes wouldn't have meant shit if the islands had fallen due to convoy interdiction by a German Mediterranean fleet. It was only that the supply runs to Malta and Alexandria weren't interrupted by a larger Axis fleet that meant there were enough airplanes to eventually dominate the Mediterranean region.

No, that's simply wrong, because you had about 30ish airplanes in Malta at any given time and hundreds of them in Egypt, which is where the British counterattacks in the Med all stemmed from.

>Well that's assuming the Germans would have given the ships to Italy, which I highly doubt would have ever happened.

Italy was getting all of its oil from Romania which was dominated by Germany in any event. It's one oil stockpile they're working from, no matter who gets control of the ships.

>It was a threat,
No, it fucking wasn't.

>but more importantly it was SEEN as a massive threat.

No, it fucking wasn't. Guys like Somerville entertained no such notions.

>The UK had spent a century trying to guarantee naval dominance on the Gibraltar - Suez - India - Singapore route, and in one fell swoop all of that had been threatened

It was already threatened by Italy's entry into the war, and in fact, you'd have only the tiniest of shipping through the Med until Italy went down. The French involvement, even if those ships should be seized, was meaningless.

> The naval war was already as a close run thing with the sinking of the ships in the Alexandria harbour and the destruction of the Singapore task force by the Japanese.

So, you're saying that Britain was planning on naval disasters that happened 1-2 years in the future, one of whom by a country they weren't even at war with at the time? Are you completely fucking retarded?

>o be fair what we now call World War II would have ended in 1940 in Britain had done the sensible thing and come to terms.

How the hell is it sensible to "come to term" with a nation that has broken numerous treaties, with you in specific, in the past few years? How could you ever guarantee anything you secured under it? Especailly when said enemy can't existentially threaten you in any case?

Churchill really wanted the French army to speed straight into Belgium, despite having actually captured the German plan to ambush the entire Allied army and encircle it. The considered it too absurd to be a real plan, and literally planned for Schlieffen MK2. The double irony is the Germans knew the plans had been stolen, and had changed their strategy for that very reason.

> be fair what we now call World War II would have ended in 1940 in Britain had done the sensible thing and come to terms.
The WWII would have never happened, if not for Britain going full retard on
>muh balance in Europe
and doing everything to weaken France and Poland.

Interesting hobby you have OP.
Really made me think.

It's some kind of autism

Being fair I'm only half of those, starting with the Dec 2016 one.
Must've saved the image off that other guy.

And yeah it's fun.

Topkek m8, did you forget that British troops were in France, to protect them from Hitler?

They fled like a bunch of pussies. To me, both France and UK are a bunch of cucks.

So... what, you would argue that it would have made more sense for the British at Dunkirk to let themselves all be captured? How would that have helped the French? The battle for France was already lost by that point anyway... nothing could be done.

>mfw i'm the other guy

What can a few foreign aid troops accomplish when the state itself deices to surrender?

>taking up the space that British soldiers could have taken up

You're aware that French soldiers only started being evacuated after every single British troop had already been saved, right?

>Although Churchill had promised the French that the British would cover their escape, on the ground it was the French who held the line while the last remaining British soldiers were evacuated.
>Enduring concentrated German artillery fire and Luftwaffe strafing and bombs, the French stood their ground.
>On 2 June (the day the last of the British units embarked onto the ships),[Notes 2] the French began to fall back slowly, and by 3 June the Germans were about two miles (3 km) from Dunkirk. The night of 3 June was the last night of evacuations.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Dunkirk#Retreat_to_Dunkirk

>The power of hindsight. Do you really think in 1940 it didn't look like the spineless men of France wouldn't have had the pride of their fleet seized by Jerry?

Right
So what did the brave British do to prevent that?
Did they attack the huge French fleet of over 50 ships in Toulon?
Nope, they attacked a tiny flottilla of 9 ships in Algeria and sunk 2 of them
So glorious!

>the Brits should have died by the tens of thousands fighting a losing battle instead of living to fight another day.

Why are the brits to blame because the frogs were so incompetent? They lasted 6 fucking weeks. The brits BTFOd the kraut air force and provided instrumental material support to resistance fighters and the commies. Their extensive empire provided the support necessary to eventually beat the Germans. The Brits did a fuck of a lot more than the people who surrender a month and a half in.

>Be French
>Get invaded
>Surrender and become Germany's bitch
>Comprise one of the last units to defend Berlin in the service of your Germanic overlords, proving your ultra-cuck status
>For the next 70 years divert all attention away from a pathetic war record from 39-45 by blaming Bongs for your defeat

France: the most bitter, cucked nation throughout all of WWII. The Bongs were pretty awful during those early stages of the war and had more than their fair share of humiliations, but blaming them for your own defeat is another level of pathetic

You forgot the sexual revolution the German soldier brought to the women of France (and the rest of Western Europe, really), which enraged Pierre so much they took their rage out on them for falling for Hans Ubercock.

Most every educated person agrees it was the soviets and Americans who won the war in Europe.

Britain just acted as a base.

>now you understand why hide on their island

this isn't how you get anyone triggered by your graphic

The Brits left men behind too at Calais.

Don't bother arguing with Frenchposters.

They're amazing at twisting facts and moving the goalpost to make them look brave. I.e Britain saving 300,000 British troops and 100,000 French troops from certain defeat is 'Cowardice', but surrendering and losing paris in 6 weeks isn't

No. The Soviets won it. The western front existed to ease the burden on Russia and stop Russia occupying France.

Fuck off with your yank revisionism
mate