Be me

>be me
>be big thick strong Siberian peasant
>have problem with drinking and whoring
>wander frozen shithole known as Russian Empire
>have spiritual awakening
>become monk
>get into mysticism
>travel to Moscow
>still have drinking and whoring problem
>work my way up the aristocratic latter by fucking noble women
>kind of liking new status
>decide to influence the Tsar
>tell the queen I can heal her son of hemophilia
>just actually want to fuck queen and gain power
>wtf I actually healed this inbred fuck
>get lots of royal pussy
>nobles get pissed that I put my dick in everything
>get stabbed in stomach, feelsbadman.jpg but whatever
>get invited to party a few years later
>drink wine
>it was poisoned enough to kill five men
>literally never felt better in my life
>go home
>be in St. Petersburg
>get shot in back with revolver
>fall unconscious but wake up and fight off attackers
>get shot more
>get clubbed
>get tied up and rolled up in a rug
>thrown in river
>drown
>mfw

Good thing he died as a legend instead of a bald old man.

This dude probably has some rare, superior genes. Maybe Neanderthal DNA or something, but he is definitely not comparable to your average Joe today.

Did he actually tap the tsarina?

Look at it this way

Which leads me to an interesting theory.

Superior people are far more likely to die in wars, because they possess the courage and faith in their nation to go and protect it.

People like Rasputin probably only exist, because his ancestors were too far away from any real combat. Literally in Siberia.

There's no evidence to suggest he did

RA-
RA-
RASPUTIN

>dem anglo genes fucking up everything

RUSSIAS GREATEST LOVE MACHINE

You forgot to mention the penis

theres no proof about him banging her but he was known for fuckin the wives of people willing to get cucked (since they thought he had mystic powers)

This guy fucks

Of all the fucking things to save. Why are Russians so batshit?

THERE WAS A CAT THAT REALLY WAS GONE

>Be docile under dictators who beat the shit out of the populace and everyone is starving
>Revolt the moment you have a ruler who makes sure everyone is alright and not dying
>Dictator takes over
>Repeat
pretty much all of russian history, omitting foreign involvement

Is this actually his dick

Yeah, I believe some of it was eaten by a dog, and the penis is in a sex museum in Russia.

shit that didn't happen.
Rasman was pure.

Lol at enlarged bald spot propaganda

Pretty cute

...

If I recall correctly, there were rumours floating about that he did. And there was one alleged occasion where he got drink at a bar and started bragging about nailing her.

Other than that, there's pretty much nothing to prove whether or not he had an affair with her.

RA-
RA-
RASPUTIN

Was he a bad guy? I know that he sent a telegram to the family telling them not to join the war, because it would have destroyed them.

No, he was just a drunk with magic powers.

Theres no evidence he did, and the Nicky and her were extremely intimate together and seemed to have a pretty active sex life