Why are virtually all religions against suicide and have harsh afterlife penalties if you off yourself?

This. It's one of the areas where a memetic analysis will show the way. Group selection effects lead to most religions disliking contraception, encouraging people to live and if they die to die in dramatic ways etc

Because if you spend all day telling your followers about how if you die, you go to a paradise called heaven without any restrictions then your followers start topping themselves when life gets hard.

Those that aren't have a short lifespan.

>Heavens gate

Because religion is a way the ruling class controls the masses. And the rulers wants to have lots of people so that they could work and produce more resources and provide them with more power.

It's basic logic, OP.

good idea

Because the dead can't pay tithe.

They're the only real religions

What kind of selfish asshole offs themselves by jumping in front of a train? It's not even a relatively painless option; if it goes wrong you might be writhing in pain for minutes.

Why not just buy a rope and hang yourself in a place children aren't going to find you?

i like how nuts that one guy goes, drops his bag and everything

Dead peasants don't grow crops.

Picture related

none actually do

that's retarded

I actually got the impression he was about to try to save the guy.

>Why would a business be against the destruction of it's assets?

Buddhism doesn't have karma or reincarnation retard

Why would you want your property destroyed?

The irony of you calling others retard while you yourself is pretending to be one for (You)s. I get it. Here is your (You). You've earned your daily bit of human interaction for the day. Congratulations!

Thank God he didn't he woulda been a goner too.

Not him but Buddhists don't believe in that sort of Hindu reincarnation

>it's another Western internet Buddhist tells us what Buddhists actually believe episode

>implying I'm Buddhist
Also no more (You)s for (You)

The BUDDHA, did I say internet Western wikipedia Buddhist? No I said the BUDDHA said:

"With his mind thus concentrated, purified, and bright, unblemished, free from defects, pliant, malleable, steady, and attained to imperturbability, he directs and inclines it to knowledge of the recollection of past lives (lit: previous homes). He recollects his manifold past lives, i.e., one birth, two births, three births, four, five, ten, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty, one hundred, one thousand, one hundred thousand, many aeons of cosmic contraction, many aeons of cosmic expansion, many aeons of cosmic contraction and expansion, [recollecting], 'There I had such a name, belonged to such a clan, had such an appearance. Such was my food, such my experience of pleasure and pain, such the end of my life. Passing away from that state, I re-arose there. There too I had such a name, belonged to such a clan, had such an appearance. Such was my food, such my experience of pleasure and pain, such the end of my life. Passing away from that state, I re-arose here.' Thus he recollects his manifold past lives in their modes and details. Just as if a man were to go from his home village to another village, and then from that village to yet another village, and then from that village back to his home village. The thought would occur to him, 'I went from my home village to that village over there. There I stood in such a way, sat in such a way, talked in such a way, and remained silent in such a way. From that village I went to that village over there, and there I stood in such a way, sat in such a way, talked in such a way, and remained silent in such a way. From that village I came back home.' Digha Nikaya: Samaññaphala Sutta

ever hear of 9/11?

"Then there is the case where a certain person refrains from taking life, refrains from taking what is not given, refrains from sensual misconduct, refrains from false speech, refrains from divisive speech, refrains from abusive speech, refrains from idle chatter, is not covetous, bears no ill will, and has right views. With the break-up of the body, after death, he reappears in the company of human beings. He lives there, he remains there, by means of whatever is the food of human beings. This, too, is an impossible place for that gift to accrue to one staying there. Janussonin Sutta

[In the Saleyyaka Sutta] The Buddha then analyzes what kind of kamma [=translation for retards: KARMA] will take one to a low rebirth [trans. for retards: REINCARNATION]. Bhikkhu Khantipalo

If a householder who observes conduct in accordance with the Dhamma, righteous conduct, should wish: 'Oh, that on the dissolution of the body, after death, I might reappear in the company of the warrior-nobles of great property!' it is possible that on the dissolution of the body, after death, he may do so. Why is that? Because he observes conduct that is in accordance with the Dhamma, righteous conduct. Saleyyaka Sutta

"There are these five inhabitants of the states of deprivation, inhabitants of hell, who are in agony & incurable. Which five? One who has killed his/her mother, one who has killed his/her father, one who has killed an arahant, one who — with a corrupted mind — has caused the blood of a Tathagata to flow, and one who has caused a split in the Sangha. These are the five inhabitants of the states of deprivation, inhabitants of hell, who are in agony & incurable." Parikuppa Sutta

'O, how these beings — who were endowed with good conduct of body, speech, & mind, who did not revile noble ones, who held right views and undertook actions under the influence of right views — with the break-up of the body, after death, have re-appeared in a good destination, the heavenly world. Or how these beings — who were endowed with bad conduct of body, speech & mind, who reviled noble ones, held wrong views and undertook actions under the influence of wrong views — with the break-up of the body, after death, have re-appeared in the realm of the hungry ghosts. Or how these beings — who were endowed with bad conduct of body, speech & mind, who reviled noble ones, held wrong views and undertook actions under the influence of wrong views — with the break-up of the body, after death, have re-appeared in the animal womb. Or how these beings — who were endowed with bad conduct of body, speech & mind, who reviled noble ones, held wrong views and undertook actions under the influence of wrong views — with the break-up of the body, after death, have re-appeared in a plane of deprivation, a bad destination, a lower realm, hell.' Devaduta Sutta

There's either a surah or a hadith where a Muslim goes to hell because he killed himself after being in horrific pain.

I think terrorist groups take passages that say if you're martyred in battle for Islam (meaning you're killed by an enemy), you receive paradise, and tell people it still counts if you suicide.

Chill out, you're being as autistic as him
.

right so its basically encouraged to not only get yourself killed but kill others.

They teach that life sucks compared to afterlife, thus they must have a "security check" against people trying to take a shortcut.

anyone else fantasize about jumping down off the platform to save a small child who fell on train tracks but the train takes you out in the process and then on the news you're called a hero and old friends and classmates talk about what a nice guy you were

Worth a try.

I think you would react quite strongly to after seeing a man lie on the tracks in front of you and then hearing the sound of the train hit his body

Cults don't like people to leave, and suicide is a form of leaving the cult.

Because religion was made to enslave people. If they're killing themselves you can't enslave them. So you have to convince them they'll go to Hell.

>Metaphysical implications....

>not naming the image interpretativedance.gif

And you hold up everyone else's train, too. It's just rude.

>humans have a tendency to be violent in unapropriate moments, makes functional society hard to maintain and leads to injury and death - get religion/law to sanction and/or regulate this

>humans have a tendency to fuck around, making functional social units hard to maintain, leading to unplaned pregnancies, incest, disease, violence and death - get religion/law to sanction and/or regulate this

>humans have a tendency to appropriate things as they are manifestly available trough stealth, force or cunning, use of status or control etc. this negatively effects certain aspects of functional coexistence in a social groups, leading to distrust, failure of cooperation, increased scarcity and competition, monopolies, selfrule, disorder, violence, injury and death - get religion/law to sanction and/or regulate this

>humans have a tendency to be physicaly selfdestructive, beyond innate masochism which is usualy a usefull thing, to act in ways that cause bodily harm, from substance abuse to direct selfharm, all the way to using violence to kill self, this makes certain aspects of social group functioning problematic and is a rather unplesant thing for people to process, not to mention the basic problem of controling how many peple you got to controll, is often seen as violence against the group or a form of treason, and, obviously, leads to all sorts of bad shit including injury and death - get religion/law to sanction and/or regulate this

so its basicaly all the same thing, those points where a human does a human thing to do that ends life when not ordered to do so or causes other longturn problems

and it isnt 'virtualy all religions' its mostly abrahamic ones, the logic is that a human is a creature and so cannot take the decision himself, only the creator has the authority to decide when and how the creature dies

other religions and cultures had other ways of dealing with that stuff, ritual suicides and voluntary sacrifices were a thing for ages, still are

>>Group selection effects lead to most religions disliking contraception
Most abrahamic religion maybe, but that's not most religions.

Religious texts often have a romanced way of telling stories that are extremely interesting from a sociological and anthropological point of view. They are an early codification of "civilised behaviors" and their first appearance. For example, at some point humans started to feel ashamed when seen naked, after spending enough time wearing clothes. If you've read the Bible, you'll know that this episode of humanity happens when God punishes Adam and Eve when they commit the original sin.
I dont really know about suicide, though. But religious texts recommand most behaviors that allow humanity to continue to exist in an ordered and civilised way: dont kill other people, be nice, give money to beggars, and don't be an hero.

underrated

Wasn't that the whole point of the Cathars?