I'll start
>be teenager
>mom dies of breast cancer
>live in a homeless shelter
>eat cabbage and water for several years
>join army
>get blown up and poison gassed
>re-enlist as message runner (deadliest job)
>5 medals of bravery
>live in someone's attic
>write an opera
>imprisoned for protesting against the banks
Hitler.
>Be white American
>Grow to 18
>Discover an amazing internet site
>Find that literally cannot stop sucking dicks.
ok that was too easy, ill do another one
you
Puccini
>part of a major religious tradition
>name sounds similar to an infamous figure in the religion
>associated with desperation and last resorts
>if their name is used for a building, it is usually a cancer hospital
who am I?
>grow to 18
Can't be OP then
Kurt Weill
St. Jude
Judah?
Dog bless user
>as a kid, taken prisoner
>work as a servant to the enemy general
>learn language, customs and tactics of your the enemies
>escape and reunite with your people
>become leader
>teach them how to properly wage war against europeans
>in war, capture your former master
>kill him making him drink molten gold
>die just before taking the capital city
>war will last for more than 300 years
Valerian, perhaps?
Military leader Lautaro
Vlad the Impaler?
Moot?
>be Greek peasant
>dubious ancestry, claim to be descended from Constantine
>may or may not have been held hostage by Bulgars at some point
>become Emperor's bodyguard due to wrestling skills
>ordered by Emperor to divorce wife and marry his mistress
>get declared co-emperor after murdering Emperor's uncle
>notice some other guy is gaining the Emperor's favor
>have them both stabbed to death, declare self emperor
>write a shitload of laws
>be friends with the Pope by firing the Patriarch and putting in one he likes
>kill Armenians, heretics, and Arabs
>conquer Naples from Muslims, lose Sicily
>favorite firstborn son and co-emperor dies
>suspect that second son was actually last Emperor's son from the mistress
>second son also believes it, order him arrested
>declare third son to be co-emperor
>release second son after peasantfags start rioting
>get injured by deer while hunting
>convinced that page who saved me was an assassin, have him executed
>die
>cuck son becomes Emperor, has last Emperor be given a fancy funeral
>third son becomes emperor after he dies for, like, a year
>cuck son's line continues on another 200 years
basil the macedonian
Parthian King Orodes II?
Yes.