User, I've been thinking... Maybe it is better to be loved than feared

>He who fears being conquered is sure of defeat.
>Well...maybe you can conquer me.....

Why does he look the same?

Why is she so perfect?

It's probably the French accent

his gorilla hands disagree

That and what she did to Europe.

WTF I wanna fuck Napoleon now.

Does anyone still have an archive of the thread where this was posted?

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>tfw Nichole Macchiavelli will never be your waifu
>tfw Napoleona Bonaparte will never be your waifu

>tfw you will never bring fem Machiavelli out of her shell and teach her to love again
It's ok Nicchi... I won't hurt you like they did....

Implying you'd conquer her.

Implying she wouldn't just conquer and claim you with her enormous... artillery.

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fpbp

trips of truth

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>community of shitposters and weeaboos
>allowing them to discuss history and philosophy
It really was

I was just adding to the thread mate. Don't get insecure just because someone else can expand upon your answer.

>Implying she wouldn't retreat to her tent with you in it and dismiss her aides
>Implying she wouldn't be covered in the sweat, grime, smoke and dirt of a successful battle
>Implying she wouldn't, in contrast to her leadership style, let herself melt into your grasp and be led by you
>Implying she wouldn't wrap her legs around your midsection, her riding breeches not even off yet and her hips gyrating slightly, so desperate and frustrated is she that she can't even wait until they're off first
>Implying your lovemaking wouldn't be fast and passionate at first before evolving into a more gentle lovemaking as her immediate carnal urges are satisfied before melting into a desire to be held, to be loved
>Implying the two of you wouldn't lie exhausted from your lovemaking hours later, her circling her fingers on your chest as her more fun yet autistic side comes out and she awkwardly tries relay to you a crude pun she heard one of her soldiers say before messing up the punchline
>Implying she wouldn't fall asleep at your side, your presence and warmth making her feel safer than any guard or musket
>Implying she wouldn't be blissfully unaware that in a few months time riding a horse would inexplicably become very hard

Literally, unironically why live?

Fuck you I'll get as insecure as I want

*rapes you*

What now big boi?

please take it easy, my heart can only sustain so much

You need to work on your tone, I'm getting mixed messages here.

Don't make me feel this user

>Veeky Forums is turning into gender-bending erotic fanfic forum
I fear we are delivering ourselves to a dark place

You fucking asshole, don't put yourself down like that

Let's be honest here, female Napoleon would probably have the sexual skills of an 80 year old virgin nun who hasn't seen a man in 50 years.

I'm perfectly okay with this. Better then no gender-bending erotica

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If you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back at you.

What happens if you bust a nut into the abyss? Does it swallow it like a good slut?

L-lewd.

Or does the abyss get pregnant? Mmm, milf abyss.

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>It's better to be feared than to be loved? Nah, fuck that shit bruv, it's better to fucking PARTY.

I think that's how Homunculi are made.

>user, I just got back from my hormone treatment... I hope the end justifies the means...

Explain

>What the hell, Luigi, you can see what fortune can do to men. You had just finished fucking your woman when you want another one. I've been in Modena for several days when I came across an old woman who washes my shirts. She asked me to come into her hovel because she wished to show me some fine shirts. Innocent prick that I am I went in. There was a woman over in the corner. "This is the shirt that I wanted to sell you," the hag said. I was terrified. But I fucked her. I found her thighs flabby and her cunt damp. Her breath stank. But I was horny. When I was finished I took a torch and looked at her. I nearly dropped dead. The woman was ugly. She had a tuft of hair on her head but her head was bald. Her forehead was scarred. One eye looked up, the other down. Her eyes were filled with mucus, and she had no eyebrows. Her nose was twisted into a funny shape. Her mouth looked like Lorenzo de' Medici's but was bent to one side. She was toothless and saliva drooled out of her mouth. Her upper lip had a moustache. I looked at her stupefied. "What's the matter sir?" she asked me. As soon as she opened her mouth, such a stench came out that my eyes and my nose were assaulted and my stomach indignant. They could not bear it, and I vomited all over her.

His hands and arms were broken while the Medici tortured him

Jesus Christ that's fucking hilarious!

Does Machiavelli have any more short excerpts or adventures that are as ridiculous as the one you posted?

>You don't think I'm a crook, do you user?

Huh, not too bad. We need more r63 presidents like this.

>it is better to feign thicc, than to be skinny
t.picollo

>our nation must come together to unite.

CUTE!

WTF?! I LOVE Bush now!

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The original sauce for that quote is from Caligula, Machiavelli is just a hack who wrote for the Medici.

STOOOOOOP

>smiling Joan of Arc
>Anne Frank

I would march into Russia in the winter for Napolienne

>you won't experience this

Napolean was apperently really shitty in bed. He was also shit at relationships, but that one is obvious.

God damn mate, now I'm feeling feels that I haven't felt for years.

How do you think they would feel if they knew about this?

He was an autist, what do you expect. He certainly had a romantic side, at least in his youth, given how many letters he wrote to Josephine during the Italian campagn.

he had some very strange fetishes, and used to write to Josephine several days before coming home, asking her to not bathe. his lovemaking was probably something along the lines of but with a happy ending