Sexy Veeky Forumstorical facts Part II: Hammondposting Edition

This is bullshit.

t. Russian

Fat old babushkas don't count.

Hope you like your meat dark

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norma_Stitz

>Joan was a dude pretending to be a girl who dressed like a dude
>The English were polite enough to give Joan the name and pronouns she wanted
>Not polite enough not to execute her for crossdressing in the first place
Makes perfect sense

There are official documents referring to the state of her vagina, so they were also apparently willing to help her in the deception while she was on trial.

On a side note, it's kind of a miracle that her hymen never tore with all that horseback riding.

So that meme with that American chick with large boobs grabbing the Mexican chick with small tits is actually true. Huh, I guess reality does imitate memes

>A miracle
HE IS MY SHEPARD FOR HE HATH LEFT MY WOMANHOOD IN TACT!

Sauce?

>Americans are obsese and have D cups.
color me surprised

>The Imperial Harem of the Ottoman Empire occupied one of the large sections of the private apartments of the sultan at the Topkapi Palace which encompassed more than 400 rooms.
>After 1853, an equally lavish harem quarter was occupied at the new imperial palace at Dolmabahçe.

>Ismail ibn Sharif holds the distinction of fathering probably the maximum number of children in history – not surprisingly he also had one of the largest harems, housing more than five hundred concubines2. The Moroccan ruler was second in line of the Moroccan Alaouite dynasty and reigned from 1672 to 1727.

>The distinction for owning the largest harem in history could well belong to 6th century BCE King Tamba of Banaras. It is believed that his harem included some sixteen thousand inmates and was presided over by the chief queen Sussondi.

>The 15-century Sultan Ghiyas-ud-Din Kilji's harem numbered fifteen thousand4 and required him to build a separate walled city to house them.

>During the 1800s, King Mongkut of Siam housed his nine thousand women5 in a totally contained city with its own government, recreational facilities, and a theater. The 19th-century ruler was eventually featured in the autobiographical book Anna and the King of Siam, which became the inspiration behind the Rodgers and Hammerstein musical The King and I and a later film version, titled Anna and the King.

>One of the most feared warriors of all times, Genghis Khan is best known for founding the Mongol Empire which after his death became the large contiguous empire in history.
>Apparently the inmates of his harem numbered anything between two to three thousand6. The myth is now borne out by science as well since after analyzing tissue samples in populations bordering Mongolia, scientists from the Russian Academy of Sciences believe the brutal ruler has 16 million male descendants living today which is nearly 8% of the population of Central Asia.

What a madman.

In the Decameron there's an erotic story about an Egyptian Mamluk princess named Alatiel who, on her way to marry an Andalusian prince, ends up captured and having serial hedonistic affairs with several men who all murder and cuckhold one another for her, all the while she pretends not to be able to speak their language and resolves never to lose to the dick, but always does.

It's like a Japanese hentai version of the Odyssey.

Holy shit, that's some Movie-tier top bantz. How can one man be so /B A S E D/?

Beminidab is the name of the Sultan of Babylon even though it sounds like a new treatment for rheumatoid arthritis.

He has a smoking hot daughter called Alatiel.

She's been promised in marriage to the King of Algarve (modern day Morocco).

So the Sultan fits out a ship and sends Alatiel off to her bridegroom.

But here comes Fortune, the grumpy harlot. A storm blows up and destroys ship and crew.

Alatiel survives with a few of her women, but now they're alone on a foreign shore.

A nobleman named Pericone da Visalgo finds her.

He can't speak her language, but beauty speaks for itself. Pericone falls hard for Alatiel.

He decides to keep her as his mistress, if he can't actually marry her.

Alatiel instructs her maidens to keep their identity a secret.

Meanwhile, Pericone's getting hot and bothered—he doesn't know how to get Alatiel into his bed.

" Ultimately, the guests having departed, he entered with the lady alone into her chamber, where she, more heated with wine than restrained by modesty, without any reserve of shamefastness, undid herself in his presence, as he had been one of her women, and betook herself to bed. Pericone was not slow to follow her, but, putting out all the lights, promptly hid himself beside her and catching her in his arms, proceeded, without any gainsayal on her part, amorously to solace himself with her; which when once she had felt,—having never theretofore known with what manner horn men butt,—as if repenting her of not having yielded to Pericone's solicitations, thenceforth, without waiting to be bidden to such agreeable nights, she oftentimes invited herself thereto, not by words, which she knew not how to make understood, but by deeds."

But Fortune is fickle. Have we said that?

Pericone has a brother called Marato. He's into Alatiel, too.

So Marato and his friends break into Pericone's house, murder him, and steal his stuff.

Including Alatiel.

They get on a ship for Corinth.

"The sailors, having a fair wind and a fresh, made sail and set out on their voyage, whilst the princess sore and bitterly bewailed both her former and that her second misadventure; but Marato, with that Saint Waxeth-in-hand, which God hath given us [men,] proceeded to comfort her after such a fashion that she soon grew familiar with him and forgetting Pericone, began to feel at her ease, when fortune, as if not content with the past tribulations wherewith it had visited her, prepared her a new affliction; for that, she being, as we have already more than once said, exceeding fair of favour and of very engaging manners, the two young men, the masters of the ship, became so passionately enamoured of her that, forgetting all else, they studied only to serve and pleasure her, being still on their guard lest Marato should get wind of the cause."

They conspire together to get her, but they don't work out the fine details (like who gets her first).

So they wind up pushing Marato overboard and then fighting each other for the girl.

One dies and the other is injured. Body count=3.

"There she went ashore with the wounded man and took up her abode with him in an inn, where the report of her great beauty soon spread through the city and came to the ears of the Prince of the Morea, who was then at Chiarenza and was fain to see her. Having gotten sight of her and himseeming she was fairer than report gave out, he straightway became so sore enamoured of her that he could think of nothing else and hearing how she came thither, doubted not to be able to get her for himself. As he cast about for a means of effecting his purpose, the wounded man's kinsfolk got wind of his desire and without awaiting more, sent her to him forthright, which was mighty agreeable to the prince and to the lady also, for that herseemed she was quit of a great peril. The prince, seeing her graced, over and above her beauty, with royal manners and unable otherwise to learn who she was, concluded her to be some noble lady, wherefore he redoubled in his love for her and holding her in exceeding honour, entreated her not as a mistress, but as his very wife."

Alatiel feels fortunate and that makes her more beautiful. And that causes more trouble.

Now, the Duke of Athens hears about her beauty.

He murders the Prince (that's 4) and shoves him out his bedroom window.

"This done and they being manifestly certified that they had been unheard of the lady or of any other, the duke took a light in his hand and carrying it to the bedside, softly uncovered the princess, who slept fast. He considered her from head to foot and mightily commended her; for, if she was to his liking, being clothed, she pleased him, naked, beyond all compare. Wherefore, fired with hotter desire and unawed by his new-committed crime, he couched himself by her side, with hands yet bloody, and lay with her, all sleepy-eyed as she was and thinking him to be the prince. After he had abidden92 with her awhile in the utmost pleasure, he arose and summoning certain of his companions, caused take up the lady on such wise that she could make no outcry and carry her forth by a privy door, whereat he had entered; then, setting her on horseback, he took to the road with all his men, as softliest he might, and returned to his own dominions."

Back at the Prince's house, they've figured out what happened and prepare to go to war with the Duke of Athens.

The Duke prepares to defend himself and gathers his allies. And this is where the family tree comes into play.

The Emperor of Constantinople sends his son, Constant. Constant is the brother of the Duke's wife.

Did we mention that the Duchess is NOT happy about Alatiel?

Constant's eager to meet Alatiel. Guess why?

So instead of making war, Constant fakes illness and goes back to his sister. He promises to help her out by removing Alatiel. Because, you know, that's the kind of good bro he is.

John Rykener, known also as Johannes Richer and Eleanor, was a 14th-century transvestite prostitute working mainly in London (near Cheapside), but also active in Oxford. He was arrested in 1395 for cross-dressing and interrogated. The records have survived, the only surviving legal records from that age which mentions same-sex intercourse.

During his interrogation, Rykener claimed to have had many clients including priests, monks and nuns; he said that he preferred priests because they paid better than others. He revealed that one Franciscan friar had given him a gold ring, and that a Carmelite friar and six foreigners, "of whom one gave Rykener twelve pence, one twenty pence, and one two shillings."

>[He] further said that a certain Elizabeth Bronderer first dressed him in women's clothing; she also brought her daughter Alice to diverse men for the sake of lust, placing her with those men in their beds at night without light, making her leave early in the morning and showing them the said John Rykener dressed up in women's clothing, calling him Eleanor and saying that they had misbehaved with her. [He] further said that certain Phillip, rector of Theydon Garnon, had sex with him as with a woman in Elizabeth Bronderer's honse outside Bishopsgate, at which time Rykener took away two gowns of Phillip', and when Phillip requested them from Rykener he said that [he] was the wife ofa certain man and that if Phillip wished to ask for them back [he] would make [his] husband bring suit against him. Rykener further confessed that for five weeks before the feast of St. Michael's last [he] was staying at Oxford, and there, in women's clothing and calling himself Eleanor, worked as an embroideress; and there in the marsh three unsuspecting scholars - of whom one was named Sir William Foxlee, another Sir John, and the third Sir Walter - practiced the abominable vice with him often.

"Accordingly, they put out to sea and not hieing, but flying,[118] came, after a little after daybreak on the morrow, to Egina, where they landed and took rest, whilst Constantine solaced himself awhile with the lady, who bemoaned her ill-fated beauty. Thence, going aboard the bark again, they made their way, in a few days, to Chios, where it pleased Constantine to take up his sojourn, as in a place of safety, for fear of his father's resentment and lest the stolen lady should be taken from him. There the fair lady bewailed her ill fate some days, but, being presently comforted by Constantine, she began, as she had done otherwhiles, to take her pleasure of that which fortune had foreordained to her."

"Some, who, taking the alert, had run to arms, he slew and having burnt the whole place, carried the booty and captives on board the ships and returned to Smyrna. When they arrived there, Osbech, who was a young man, passing his prisoners in review, found the fair lady among them and knowing her for her who had been taken with Constantine asleep in bed, was mightily rejoiced at sight of her. Accordingly, he made her his wife without delay, and celebrating the nuptials forthright, lay with her some months in all joyance."

Constant's father is not pleased about all this, so he works with the King of Cappadoccia to attack Uzbek.

Together, they kill him and conquer the land.

We've lost count of all the men who died for Alatiel.

"Meanwhile, Osbech's servant, Anti95ochus by name, in whose charge the lady had been left, seeing her so fair, forgot his plighted faith to his friend and master and became enamoured of her, for all he was a man in years. Urged by love and knowing her tongue (the which was mighty agreeable to her, as well as it might be to one whom it had behoved for some years live as she were deaf and dumb, for that she understood none neither was understanded of any) he began, in a few days, to be so familiar with her that, ere long, having no regard to their lord and master who was absent in the field, they passed from friendly commerce to amorous privacy, taking marvellous pleasure one of the other between the sheets."

He bequeaths his property to a Cypriot merchant. This property includes Alatiel.

Now Fortune's wheel turns again. An old servant of her father's spots her. His name is Antigono.

He urges her to tell of her misfortunes so that he can help her. She does.

Antigono comes up with a plan to restore Alatiel to her former life. He instructs her in what to say.

Then he negotiates with her father to bring Alatiel home.

Alatiel tells an, um, "allegorical" version of her adventures to her dad, including a stay in a nunnery and adventures that are all chaperoned at every step.

"The Soldan was beyond measure rejoiced at these things and besought God again and again to vouchsafe him of His grace the power of worthily requiting all who had succoured his daughter and especially the King of Cyprus, by whom she had been sent back to him with honour. After some days, having caused prepare great gifts for Antigonus, he gave him leave to return to Cyprus and rendered, both by letters and by special ambassadors, the utmost thanks to the king for that which he had done with his daughter. Then desiring that that which was begun should have effect, to wit, that she should be the wife of the King of Algarve, he acquainted the latter with the whole matter and wrote to him to boot, that, an it pleased him have her, he should send for her. The King of Algarve was mightily rejoiced at this news and sending for her in state, received her joyfully; and she, who had lain with eight men belike ten thousand times, was put to bed to him for a maid and making him believe that she was so, lived happily with him as his queen awhile after; wherefore it was said, 'Lips for kissing forfeit no favour; nay, they renew as the moon doth ever.'"

Fun fact: the translator points out that Alatiel is an anagram for " la lieta," which means "happy woman." Boccaccio is maybe slyly suggesting that he knows what it is that makes women happy.

>tfw a sixteen year old girl road a horse for forty miles to warn her dad the militia commander of Redcoats

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sybil_Ludington

Listen, my children, and you shall hear
Of a lovely feminine Paul Revere
Who rode an equally famous ride
Through a different part of the countryside
In April, Seventeen Seventy-Seven
A smokey glow in the eastern heaven
A fiery herald of war and slaughter
Came to the eyes of the Colonel's daughter
"Danbury's burning," she cried aloud
The Colonel answered, "Tis but a cloud"
A cloud reflecting the campfire's red
So hush you, Sybil, and go to bed
The door's flung open, a voice is heard
Danbury's burning — I rode with word
Send a messenger, get your men!
His message finished, the horseman then
Staggered wearily to chair
And fell exhausted in a slumber there
The Colonel muttered, and who my friend,
Who is the messenger I can send?
Who is my messenger to be?
Said Sybil Ludington, "You have me."
So over the trails to the towns and farms
Sybil delivered the call to arms,
Up! up! there, soldier! You're needed to come!
The British are marching! — and then the drum
Of her horse's feet as she rode apace
To bring more men to the meeting place
Such is the legend of Sybil's ride
To summon the men from the countryside
A true tale, making her title clear
As a lovely feminine Paul Revere.

Incidentally, Franklin's famed coonskin cap was worn partially to make French women attracted to him, as was his tendency to not wear a wig.

He also pretended to be a woman.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silence_Dogood

>What the hell, Luigi, you can see what fortune can do to men. You had just finished fucking your woman when you want another one. I've been in Modena for several days when I came across an old woman who washes my shirts. She asked me to come into her hovel because she wished to show me some fine shirts. Innocent prick that I am I went in. There was a woman over in the corner. "This is the shirt that I wanted to sell you," the hag said. I was terrified. But I fucked her. I found her thighs flabby and her cunt damp. Her breath stank. But I was horny. When I was finished I took a torch and looked at her. I nearly dropped dead. The woman was ugly. She had a tuft of hair on her head but her head was bald. Her forehead was scarred. One eye looked up, the other down. Her eyes were filled with mucus, and she had no eyebrows. Her nose was twisted into a funny shape. Her mouth looked like Lorenzo de' Medici's but was bent to one side. She was toothless and saliva drooled out of her mouth. Her upper lip had a moustache. I looked at her stupefied. "What's the matter sir?" she asked me. As soon as she opened her mouth, such a stench came out that my eyes and my nose were assaulted and my stomach indignant. They could not bear it, and I vomited all over her.

Why are you retelling Decameron stories here? That's fiction, and this thread is about historical facts.

Old Ben advised that Milfs make the best fuck buddies

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advice_to_a_Friend_on_Choosing_a_Mistress

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siege_of_Fort_Zeelandia

>Some Dutch physical looks like auburn and red hair among people in regions of south Taiwan are a consequence of this episode of Dutch women becoming concubines to the Chinese commanders.[21] The Chinese took Dutch women as slave concubines and wives and they were never freed: in 1684 some were reported to be living. In Quemoy a Dutch merchant was contacted with an arrangement to release the prisoners which was proposed by a son of Koxinga's but it came to nothing.[22] The Chinese officers used the Dutch women they received as concubines.[23][24][25] The Dutch women were used for sexual pleasure by Koxinga's commanders.[26] This event of Dutch women being distributed to the Chinese soldiers and commanders was recorded in the daily journal of the fort.[27

Isn't it part III?

>That's fiction, and this thread is about historical facts.
Half of last thread was Anne Frank smutfics, and I figure the Decameron is at the very least more historical.

>sexy
just the girl riding a horse, or?

Imagine riding over the hard country road in the dark, your nubile vag being rubbed and knocked by the saddle. May have given her her first orgasm

Well at least everyone had the restraint not to post THE Anne Frank smutfic

The Band of Brothers-themed ones least held back enough to be somewhat humorous and plausible. The Jeff Mangum one reads like Stalag fiction, Slaughterhouse Five, and Neutral Milk Hotel combined into a horrifying Million Dollar Extreme skit.

Not exactly surprising considering it was written by /pol/

How can whitebois even compete??

>History-themed erotic fanfiction and art welcome
If sexy statues and art about Classical myth is allowed, I don't see why literature wouldn't be as well.

Thanks for the synopsis of Alatiel's story, it was pretty good.

Isn't this story supposedly a hoax?

Has drawfag done Napoleon yet?

You mean Napoleanne?

>"Draw me like one of your French conquerers"

would you a cute napoleonette?

Yes, as well as the hot Napoleon there.

Would

I'm not drawfag, but I would if I had any ability to draw apart from stick figures

Why is this even up to questioning?

What a bizarre choice of colours.
Why wouldn't light red and dark red be adjacent in the scale?

>King of Algarve (modern day Morocco).
There was never a King of Algarve, seeing as it was never an independent kingdom. Portuguese and Castillan kings used it as an honorific title.
Also, Algarve is in Portugal. It did expand into modern day Morocco during the Age of Discoveries, but that was after the Decameron was written.

I'm interested in the idea of other entries

You're right, of course:

"It is now a pretty while since there was a certain Soldan of Babylon,[113] by name Berminedab, to whom in his day many things happened in accordance86 with his pleasure.[114] Amongst many other children, both male and female, he had a daughter called Alatiel, who, by report of all who saw her, was the fairest woman to be seen in the world in those days, and having, in a great defeat he had inflicted upon a vast multitude of Arabs who were come upon him, been wonder-well seconded by the King of Algarve,[115] had, at his request, given her to him to wife, of especial favour; wherefore, embarking her aboard a ship well armed and equipped, with an honourable company of men and ladies and store of rich and sumptuous gear and furniture, he despatched her to him, commending her to God."

"[115] Il Garbo, Arabic El Gherb or Gharb, الﻐرب, the West, a name given by the Arabs to several parts of the Muslim empire, but by which Boccaccio apparently means Algarve, the southernmost province of Portugal and the last part of that kingdom to succumb to the wave of Christian reconquest, it having remained in the hands of the Muslims till the second half of the thirteenth century. This supposition is confirmed by the course taken by Alatiel's ship, which would naturally pass Sardinia and the Balearic Islands on its way from Alexandria to Portugal."

I'd make sure she's BLACKED

I have a fat fetish. Are there any really good stories from history of men fattening up women? And yes, before you ask, I know about that one tiny tribe in Africa.

Napoleonic uniforms look great on cute bayonettes
Tight pants, tall boots, sashes, stylish jacket, the works.

18th century male clothing in general really.

I remember visiting an all women subcamp of Buchenwald.

There was a brothel in the Buchenwald concentration camp which got some of its women from there.

Those were concentration camps obviously. Don't know about POW camps

Didn't the Allies find a whole bunch of babies born in Buchenwald who were kept in hiding by the prisoners and sympathetic staff until the Americans finally took the camp? Or am I thinking of another one like Bergen-Belsen?

The thread about lesbians reminded me of one epigram by Martial, thought I'd share.

Quod numquam maribus iunctam te, Bassa, videbam quodque tibi moechum fabula nulla dabat, omne sed officium circa te semper obibat turba tui sexus, non adeunte viro, esse videbaris, fateor, Lucretia nobis: at tu, pro facinus, Bassa, fututor eras. inter se geminos audes committere cunnos mentiturque virum prodigiosa Venus. commenta es dignum Thebano aenigmate monstrum. hic, ubi vir non est, ut sit adulterium.

Since, Bassa, I never saw you snog a male, since none of the talk gave you a fancy man, but all your needs were always satisfied by a crowd of your own sex – no man came near – you seemed, I must admit, a model wife: but you, it’s criminal! – Bassa, you fucked women. You find the nerve to bring two cunts together and fake a man’s part in abnormal sex. You’ve made a riddle worthy of the Sphinx: here, where no man is found, adultery's rife.

KZ Ravensbrück was an exclusivly female camp for manly non-jewish "degenerates"(lesbians, prostitutes or criminals), gypsies, resistance fighters, jehova's witnesses etc.
Later on there were about 15000 female soviet POWs I think that would come closest to what you described...

YOU TAKE THAT BACK

>ywn have a Revolutionary loli girl to be handy with

feelsbadman

Napoleonette was made for BBC, whiteboi