Dumbest reason to start a war

You can drink your tea from the harbor faggot

>Muh jews backstabbed us

because your ally's ally's ally went to war over the death of some king that has nothing to do with you

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emu_War

Imagine if they taxed amerifats burgers.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pastry_War

>In complaint to King Louis-Philippe, a French pastry chef known only as Monsieur Remontel, claimed that in 1832 Mexican officers looted his shop in Tacubaya (then a town on the outskirts of Mexico City). Remontel demanded 60,000 pesos as reparations for the damage (his shop was valued at less than 1,000 pesos).[1][5][6][7]

>In view of Remontel's complaint (which gave its name to the ensuing conflict) and of other complaints from French nationals (among them the looting in 1828 French shops at the Parian market and the execution in 1837 of a French citizen accused of piracy) in 1838 prime minister Louis-Mathieu Molé demanded from Mexico the payment of 600,000 pesos (3 million Francs) in damages,[4][5] an enormous sum for the time, when the typical daily wage in Mexico City was about one peso (8 Mexican reals).

>When president Anastasio Bustamante made no payment, the King of France ordered a fleet under Rear Admiral Charles Baudin to declare and carry out a blockade of all Mexican ports on the Atlantic coast from Yucatán to the Rio Grande, to bombard the Mexican fortress of San Juan de Ulúa, and to seize the city of Veracruz, which was the most important port on the Gulf coast. French forces captured Veracruz by December 1838 and Mexico declared war on France.

>Tfw you'll never die a noble death over a bucket

Probably this desu senpai

LA GUERRA DE LOS PASTELES
Also:
Jenkin's ear
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_of_Jenkins'_Ear

they would die of fund withdrawal as I have maybe 10 in a year

kys

Invisible WMD

At a shooting festival in Constance 1458 a local merchant refused to accept a Plappart (a silver coin) from the city of Lucerne, and returned it with the comment it was "cow-plappart"

Because of this insult, Lucerne raised an army of 4'000 men, marched to Constance, laid siege to the town and extorted 5'000 guilders in retribution.

>mountain merchants gonna merchant

High Taxes

This one, Americans should be slaughtered fucking capitalist swines

It's not really dumb, it's just a requirement to declare war with some sort of casus belli.

Woman

Love

you know, people always bitched about NO WAR FOR OIL! when I was like 16, but isnt that the best reason to start a war? Fighting to obtain arguably the most important natural resource is much better than fighting for some abstract concept

t. history undergrad who frequents antifa fb groups

TULIPS

GIVE ME BACK MY BUCKET

Any war that started purely due to people failing their game theory class.

>x might attack
>i better attack x first

You might say this is rational and reasonable for self-preservation. I guess on some level it is.

On another level it's fucking retarded and probably millions have perished over paranoid fuckery when nobody wanted a war.

All of them.

Worked fine for Israel.

Edgy my dude

Yeah, must be nice to have the whole world hating you and living in a constant state of fear and panic, knowing with absolute certainty that sooner or later, your innocent descendants are going to pay for your shitty behavior.

I bet Israelis sleep great at night.

Israel is the most based nation on earth. Low life Arabs tried again and again to destroy the Jewish state and failed every single time.

The whole world doesn't hate Israel; just Muslims and leftist scum who have made a pact with an antiquated, horrible religion. If you had to choose whether to live in Israel or any of the neighbouring countries, we all know what choice you would make.

During the building-up part of a war, a lot of paranoia happens on both sides. Eventually someone snaps. People are not as rational as the enlightenment leads people to believe.

Well said.

Israel as a country shouldn't even exist. You stole Palestinians land and made them strangers in their own homes. You moved into land occupied by sovereign people for thousands of years and basically terrorize them. The world is waking up to Jewish tyranny and it won't be long before your chickens come home to roost. You committed the same crimes against Palestinians that were committed against you and have the unmitigated GALL to claim moral superiority, somehow. The balls of the Jews just astound.

I'm not some brain dead poltard and I have no issue with Jews outside of Israel, but the state of Israel is a crime against humanity and eventually it will be rectified by the International powers. Israel is on borrowed time.

Duh

a football match
I´m looking at you, El Salvador

Every nation the Jews have come in contact with has hated Jews. Even the explicitly anti-racist Soviet Union, many of whose founders were themselves Jewish, eventually became institutionally anti-semitic.

a dead archduke in a backwater country that got killed by the eternal slav

The most powerful man in the world loves Israel and has a Jewish daughter.

Name just one good thing that the USA did in the last 100 years

Go to the moon.

The Iliad.

One of the most devastating wars of Antiquity was started because of an unfaithful roastie

you are so delusional there is no point trying to talk some sense into you.

Can't wait for the Arabs to give it another shot; i'll be watching the combat footage of them being blown to smithereens on liveleak with delight.

>Actually went to the moon
Yeah nice, really useful. It will sure make up for fucking half of the world

Stop the spread of communism throughout Europe

Promote a neoliberal world of free trade, lifting more people out of poverty than any other power structure could possibly do.

As a European, despite our differences, i'll be eternally grateful for America's help for the last century or so.

what ancient enmity didn't begin because of some woman kidnappin' ?

Stop Imperialist Japan

>Stop the spread of communism throughout Europe
Which they also caused by allying with the communists.

>teamed up with communists
>Because the US wouldn't just deny a major power to win the war

Nazis were the greater evil. Commies teamed up with the Nazis too, when they partitioned the east of Europe. Maybe they should've initiated operation unthinkable instead of initiate the cold war. Things ended up alright anyway, though.

Nice iFunny watermark

America has a knack for helping future adversaries. But that's par for the course when you are the ruling power of the globe.

>The Iliad
I didn't know an epic poem was written because of an unfaithful roastie

people envy success. they hate the successful.

>Promote a neoliberal world of free trade, lifting more people out of poverty than any other power structure could possibly do.
This meme is the worst
>Stop the spread of communism throughout Europe
Americans did it? Also soviet were the bad guys is pretty subjective

Genoa vs Venice

> In the city of Acre, now the largest city in the Crusader States, there was a monastery on a hilltop dedicated to St Sabas. On one side of the hill was a colony of Venetians. On the other side of the hill lived the Genoese. It hardly needs to be said that both groups claimed the monastery for themselves and contested ownership in court.

> One morning in 1256, the Genoese decided simply to be done with law suits and they occupied the monastery. Having gone that far, the Genoese (with the Pisans joining) went on down the Venetian side of the hill, sacked a few houses, looted ships tied up at the quay, and generally raised havoc until driven out by the Venetians. This incident marks the beginning of a nasty squabble that dragged on for years and is known as the War of St Sabas.

This was the pretext for nearly a 130 years of on/off wars between Genoa and Venice.

> en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Venetian–Genoese_wars

70s cinema. Check aaaand mate

That one time a merchant disputed the price of bamboo poles and it caused an ethno/religious civil war that killed 8-12 million chinese people

It took several decades for the US to get their hands in as many foreign governments as the Soviets did by the end of WW2

Didn't some Ottoman sultan basically go to war with Cyprus because of its fine wine, so that he could get drunk?
Probably not to get drunk, but the idea seems pretty funny.

Could also argue that the Jenkin's Ear war was pretty retarded to begin with.

A coal dust explosion on The Maine...lets declare war on Spain.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_of_the_Golden_Stool

>Golden Stool is the sacred symbol of the Ashanti people, where their ruler traditionally sits
>British governor of the Gold Coast demands to be allowed to sit on the stool
>Ashanti revolt against British rule
>are put down, but British never get the stool

>and the bucket remains in Modena to this day

Bologna eternally BTFO

Stood up to the USSR. Played a major role in defeating Germany, and was primarily responsible for the defeat of japan. Tried to keep the rest of the world from completely cucking Germany.
et cetera

A preemptive defensive strike is a genius move, especially if it provokes the defender who you can then go balls to the wall on showing your people how dangerous the enemy are.

Communist "durr stalin killing ppl is just nazi propaganda/holodomor didn't happen" faggot detected.

A pretty girl

nah, the golden stool thing is out of fucking principle, since that chair literally is your ancestors, and fuck that pasty foreigner that sat his ass on it.
Also, by the end, they made the most powerful empire in the world stay away from that stool to avoid another big revolt, which is based.

no desu I would rather live in Jordan.

>Low life arabs tried to destroy the Jewish state
True. And low life Brits created the Jewish state in a place where a bunch of people were already living and it made them rather upset.

>Leftist scum
...isn't the /pol/puplar meme to hate lefties and jews both? I'm confused

>Not understanding that the first world war wasn't about the death of a man but the release of tension between the imperialist nations of europe

Get out

And creating a weapon that would have the world at border of extinction in the process

Oy vey. Because invading Japan would totally work...

Such a bloody and unnecessary conflict.
When will man and emu learn to set aside their differences...

That's because nips were chaotic evil

The world never blew up. Who cares.

The U.S. shouldn't exist because it stole land from the natives.

Bamboo poles (12 million dead)
Bucket (2,000 dead)
Ear (24,500 dead)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_of_the_Bucket

Declare war on sparrows and end up killing 30 million of your own people.

>Some sparrows found refuge in the extraterritorial premises of various diplomatic missions in China. The personnel of the Polish embassy in Beijing denied the Chinese request of entering the premises of the embassy to scare away the sparrows who were hiding there and as a result the embassy was surrounded by people with drums. After two days of constant drumming, the Poles had to use shovels to clear the embassy of dead sparrows.

Jesus Christ.

was it autism?

It was Maoism.

That the U.K. And Germany were also developing. If we didn't then somebody else, probably somebody worse, would have.

Saving our asses twice from Germany then one more time from Russia as well as helping us rebuild

You seem to think that because a society is better than another they're entitled by divine right to things that are not their own. That's not how things work.

Regardless of how the Palestinians are like (I can't say I ever met any) the land was theirs. It's that simple. It's not a matter of who deserved it more because it doesn't enter consideration.

Fun fact: the Jews that lived in Palestine at the time when the Brits came to bring wholesale slaughter to the place in the name of Jewish nationalists were terrified and wanted nothing to do with it. In fact, they, too, were put under the sword. Nobody cared that they were Jews, because they weren't

>muh nationalistic israel!!!

The Natives aren't misplaced, they're mostly dead. Apart from that, they were dying of disease when the Europeans came, and had little claim to a "culture" anyway.

If you're under the impression that Europeans went to the Americans and killed Indians left and right for amusement, you're wrong. Most of the land was acquired through honest trade. The Indian tribes were more interested in getting the upper-hand on each other than killing the Europeans. Hardly a similar situation.

Jenkins ear

>The Natives aren't misplaced
Jesus christ are you serious

>Indian removal was a policy of the United States government in the 19th century whereby Native Americans were forcibly removed from their ancestral homelands in the eastern United States to lands west of the Mississippi River, thereafter known as Indian Territory.

ok then

Soup.

>Modenese steal a bucket from Bologna
>Bolognese get butthurt and declare war
>32 000 Bolognese vs 7000 Modenese
>Modena wins
>the bucket is still in Modena to this day
>during the battle the Modenese took another bucket

Lmao why are the Bolognese such massive cucks?

Fuck off marxist tard

>Not understanding the topic of the thread
Its the dumbest reason someone started a war not why a war would happen eventually due the geopolitical climate of the time. Dumbass krauts went in way over their heads.

>The whole world doesn't hate Israel
You're right it doesn't. Its just the total population of the muslim world that hates it and coincidentally that's literally everyone around it in every direction for thousands of miles.

I'm not saying go arabs or anything i don't have a dog in the fight. I'm just saying that long term having every single neighbor hate you is a good way to eventually get right fucked.

It's why as a general rule nations tend to avoid it.

Soccer War