ITT: We guess historical figures based on clues given by other posters

ITT: We guess historical figures based on clues given by other posters

I'll start

>I was the vice president, became president and then acted against the man most responsible for making me vice president

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Lyndon B Johnson?

Truman? NO, Ford, right? It's Ford.

Is it an American president?

Yes its American and none of those

It's Taft.

Here's an easy one:

>You have one of the best military minds in the known world, but you're such a special kind of jackass that you keep getting traded to the other team.

>Taft
>vice president

Teddy
Taft advocated for Teddy to become Assistant Secretary of the Navy, which boosted his political career as he quickly rose to VP and later President
then Teddy split the vote against Taft, leading to the election of the worst president ever

>>You have one of the best military minds in the known world, but you're such a special kind of jackass that you keep getting traded to the other team.
that fucker in the Peloponnesian War, Archibald or some shit

Hadurrr durr I'm a dumbfuck. I was thinking of the Teddy/Taft relationship and zoned out and put the wrong one. I did mean Teddy, honestly.

Got it in one (Alcibiades).

Here's another one since nobody else is doing it:
>He refused to shoot himself for a Bohemian corporal.
If you Google/Wiki the quote you're a cheater obviously.

>At the age of 60, I divorced my wife, who I had been married to for 30 years, and then remarried to a 15 year old girl.

>Here's another one since nobody else is doing it:
i'm not clever enough to come up with one, but i'm lurking to answer any you come up with
>>He refused to shoot himself for a Bohemian corporal.
this i do not know. it's Veeky Forums so i'll just guess either Hitler said it or the "Bohemian corporal" is Hitler

Cicero?

>His only weaknesses are Romans, and ceramics.

this one stumped me so i decided to just google it
came across this
thesun.co.uk/news/3974097/married-teacher-schoolboy-pupil-sex/
>MISS SEX CLAIMS Married teacher ‘adopted 15-year-old schoolboy pupil so she could have sex with him almost every day’

Correct.

Polk?

Nope. I made it similar to Teddy on purpose though.
, Nope

Jefferson? if not then I give up

to elaborate on the similarity, I thought people would think of the Mark Hanna angle instead of Taft, but that makes sense too

Nah

It's Arthur, through being Conkling's lieutenant at the NY Custom's House and then signing and pushing for the Pendleton Act.

>I had a very well known public feud with another man. This rivalry began after I had invited him to my house and showed him my collection of paintings. Specifically, I showed him my trinity, a collection of three paintings, each a portrait of a different man: Isaac Newton, Francis Bacon, and John Locke. I told him that these three men were my personal heroes, and in my opinion, the greatest men who ever lived. He disagreed. He said that the greatest man was Julius Caesar. We rarely agreed on anything after that day.

Respoding to OP

Andrew Johnson

Alexander Hamilton?

>I was bored and decided I could capture the capital city of a country with my free time

do tell, this is very interesting

That's the other guy in the story.

Burr or Jefferson

It's Jefferson. Hearing Hamilton say "Caesar was the greatest man ever" REALLY triggered Jefferson and from then on they never really got along.

got a link to this? the whole encounter sounds really cool, i never knew it occurred and explains a lot t b h

I may have exaggerated, but only slightly.

>I tried so hard, and got so far, but in the end it didn't even matter

i really admired jefferson when i was in high school but i hated how he conducted himself in washington's cabinet
the more read about hamilton the more i'm convinced he was right. i wish he sought credit with the dutch instead of trying to gain good credit via english banks

>he became king at the age of 9 months
>chaos throughout his 50 years of life
>3 obscure plays about him

>>He refused to shoot himself for a Bohemian corporal.
something to do with wallenstein and the thirty years' war?

Robert Scott, on his South Pole expedition?

"Bohemian corporal" is a derogatory nickname for Hitler so I doubt that

It's Friedrich von Paulus, commander of the 6th Army at Stalingrad. He had a poor relationship with his superior, Walther von Reichenau (6th Army's previous commander), who was a pro-Hitler zealot. That probably had a lot to factor in with the decision to defect to the Soviets.

>I fought for the allies in WWII but was just as vile and reprehensible as an Axis leader. I wasn't Communist but I caused and even made so much evil happen that I'm honestly worse. People today claim me a hero because of my country's way of writing history.

>I loved the Russian Queen and was a cat who really was gone, being Russia's Greatest Love Machine, it was a shame how I carried on.

Stalin

Potemkin

>Stalin
Wrong, see
>I wasn't a Communist
Try again

Chaing Kai Shek or however you spell it?

Also wrong.
Another hint, he was significant

I give up

Churchill.

Holy shit are you new or is this bait?

how was Churchill worse than Stalin?

>I had terrible headaches
>Took a long vacation in France, then to Italy
>Then Greece, then Africa
>Settled down in Italy, the weather was lovely
>knives.jpg
>my funeral started a city-wide riot

Gayzer of course.

I thought the epilepsy was just a theory?

Phyrrus?

Ra Ra Rasputin?

>"I once had an orgy in the White House."