So, you're 26 and your resume shows you've never had a job before?

is it an old song?

No I mean what my fucking response is from. There's a very famous show where a guy is 26 and never had a job before but when asked he says what I said above.
Nope.

i dont give a shit you little faggot

I wish I was dead

Tell em you freelanced as a webdev and avoided taxes

Big bang theory?

>Yeah, but here's my portfolio of things I've created that will make you want to hire me

make a website with a bunch of home theatre pictures and say you ran your own business installing home theaters. that's what I did. say you did a couple systems a month for $2-10k each

>2008-2017
>Chief Executive Shitposter on Veeky Forums, the world's largest Taiwanese Zoetrope Forum

Golden Boy? Or GTO I forget

>"So, your 33 and you've not had a job since you were 19"

"You do realize a job is the ultimate form of cuckery, correct?"

Same.

Administrative assistant for the family business since I was 17 here. I might help my dad like 2 hours a week max, but on my resume it says 20 hours a week, and 50 during the summer.

>So you're a cryptocurrency daytrader? You own a lamborghini? How come you're applying at Dominoes?

I volunteer to homeless shelters and old age homes.
Boom.

Go, the asian board game, of course. A lot more complex than chess. I had a weird moment with a chinese guy trying to talk to him about this game, because it seens that they call it Weiqi.

BTC: 1Fpi2x5FQnSVUheQqpod2RFNtdP5DpbC2k

Oh, but I guess that you're talking of Kawabata's "The Master of Go".

just fucking make something up you goddamn faggot, preferably something your retarded ass could actually do
spin your resume around and eventually someone will fall for it

manlet detected

Silicon Valley?

tell them you were in a coma for 10 years

Was in prison

you need to lie.

put a few retail jobs on there. the GAP at the mall, Orange Julius, shilling cell phone repair at the mall, something.

>please, I need the job. It's been a rough month for us DigiMarines.

>yes, that is correct. I recently graduated mega cum load with a phd in Early German Romanticism

seems you've had a job in the past
care to explain why you are not at the vocation

>never lied on resume
>struggled through min wage jobs for 5 years
>friend lied on rez
>started off as manager of IT department in big company
>I just hit 50k/yr
>he just hit 100k/hr

liars will burn in hell
at least I hope they will
because it is unfair and i am jelly asf

I'm 28. Stop it.

I worked for family business, side jobs etc mowing grass saving up cmon man

Its okay if im 22 with no job experience right?

What did your friend put down? How do you know they didn't lie about lying?

>being honest
>ever
Ethics and morals are extinct things fit only for the history books

"What do you think is the most attractive thing about working here? What opportunities exist for eager, hard working, people, like me, who want to learn from the others working here?"

This is why millenials need entry level jobs. You. Are. Not. Important.

>You. Are. Not. Important.
>typing like this
sounds like you need an entry level job too

No, but you can turn it around with internships/volunteering

narcissistic pieces of shit

...

>PhD in physics
>2 successful tech start ups
>1 patented product under my name
All this at 24, I thought this as Veeky Forums not /r9k/. Crypto has caused neetness

>What do I say to this?

I was 31 and had zero jobs before because I was a monk.

Then I eventually found that I can't live without a proper wage.

Sheltered manchild

>lying on the internet

I did lie about the tech startups lmao. Rest is true. I have released opensource software on GitHub though :^)

Why the fuck can I not get jobs that literal fucking teenagers are doing?!?!?! Does everyone just fucking hate millenials or what?!?!?!

I am seriously fucking done with this shit I live in a fucking flyover state where men my age are expected to be retarded and work manual labor and factory jobs. I cannot even get a job as an entry level teller as they are reserved for fucking fat women and teenage girls.

WHY THE FUCK DID I TEACH MYSELF ACCOUNTING reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Rape her
Make her afraid to not recommend you to the next stage it works with dumb HR cunts and fags and you get a nut off before the cops arrive

Listen to the fags who have "experience" working for their parents. You put down that you worked for your uncle's bullshit company for 2 years after college and then 30 something adults won't hate you so much when you walk around fresh out of college acting like you know what the fuck you're doing. Gen xers had to eat shit from faggot bosses but you'll skip it snowflake. And yes we'll still hate you but maybe you'll make it that way.

I was busy taking care of my dying mother.
Would they buy it?

You start by lying and putting down entry level jobs even a monkey could do, or whatever fits your skill set.
Then proceed through the interview as she never asks you that fucking question.

lol tfw ur 19 and have 3 years of working behind you already

More than you think do.
The job market is becoming increasingly shit, especially if you're white.

this

God, i wish that was me

I actually had to do that and they did.

>physics PhD at 24
were you an autistic savant who started uni at 16 or did you go to a shittier community college? There's no way in hell you got a physics bachelor at 21 and a PhD by 24 without special circumstances

Does cooking at Pizza Hut count as job experience? Also I worked for a moving company but got paid under the table, keep that between us though.

were you on the payroll? if so then yes.
there's a big difference between shitty minimum wage labor and actually 0 experience

Didn't feel like it, I got enough capital to live off for a few decades.

Although it might be interesting to see a work enviroment.

Uni at 18, due to my results and experience got onto PhD position at 21 (skipping masters).