Tfw your brother goes on vacation to murder Saracens for fun leaving you to run the country in his stead and the people...

>tfw your brother goes on vacation to murder Saracens for fun leaving you to run the country in his stead and the people hate you because you try to fix the budget deficit and side with a terrorist archer against you and then your brother gets kidnapped by the French and has be saved by his mother but the people still love your brother more than you and you go down in history as England's worst king while the manchild who left his country to rot goes down in history as the greatest and the terrorist who supported him becomes a folk hero

England's greatest King is Alfred though, and it's not even close.

this, who the fuck thinks richard is england's greatest king

england has only ever had one king called "great" and that's richard I was the one to persecute robin hood btw, also he died like a cuck.
he's remembered because he at least tried to crusade.
john is only hated because he signed the (((magna carta)))

edward I was everything richard I was but better, yet he's constantly slandered.

nope

Just another example of the old Anglo-British tradition of hating fucking stupid taxes.

>and then your brother gets kidnapped by the French

Btw, said brother was French too, and so was this guy

>born in Oxford
>French

>Born to French parents
>Could only ever speak French
>Not French

To be fair John wasn't the worst king his son was. But John was a traitor and a cunt. Richard goes and joins the crusade, leaves a regent in control since he knows John is a fucking retard. Even gets John to swear he won't go to England for 3 years. goes before the end of the first year. Tries to take power and eventually does but during all of this he builds a reputation as a traitor. Richard finishes his crusade on the way home he gets captured by the Holy Roman emperor. John is so arse blasted about Richard not giving him power he conspires with the French king into causing rebellions in Normandy. Richard finally gets home, can't spend any time in England because John has fucked up Normandy so he has to go crush the rebellions. Does this for a while before he is killed.

John becomes king and does everything wrong and ruins the Monarchy, he even goes as far as having a terrible son who makes it even worse.

Wasn't Cnut known as the great as well? I might be wrong but I thought Henry V was known as the great lion?

I don't know Alfred was indeed great, he was very smart and started the old British Propaganda machine, fought of the Vikings and left a legacy for his sons to follow.

But there are a lot of kings that I think deserve credit:

Edward the confessor (Minus being a retard about his heir)
William the conqueror
Henry I
Herny II
Richard I
Edward I
Edward III
Henry IV
Henry V
Henry VII
Elisabeth I
Victoria I
George V

Edward II was way worse than Henry III

can Cnut really be considered king of england?

John was a retarded bitch.
Was a pretty cool dude. I mean fuck the Danes, right?
The Robin Hood stories aren't set during the third crusade til the 1600s. In the early stories they call the king Edward.

Why didn't William the Conqueror fully frenchalize the Anglos?

George III

I think so, or atleast when he was in England. From what I've read about Cnut is that when he was in England he was English to a degree.

Fucking thank you.

Everyone says John is a bad king but he spent his entire reign trying to fix Richard colossal fuck ups, while everyone loves Richard despite the fact that he spent his entire reign thousands of miles away wasting money and then got held ransom forcing every Englishman to pay 1/4 of his year income.

Fuck Richard, John was cool, Henry II best king ever.

Fuck off, there wouldn't be shit all to fix if John didn't conspire with the French king in courses shit all over Henry II's empire. John was a traitor and ruined the monarchy.

I also love Henry the second he was a fucking lad, peaceful England while gaining all them sweet lands. Poor lad had his friend choose the church over him and caused him all sort of troubles after Henry pulled him from the dirt.

Richard was a bad son, bad husband, and a bad king, but a great and terrible warlord. While he was alive the French were kept out, and the barons kept in line.

John spent his entire reign fucking up all his father's hard work. England would have been better off with Arthur of Brittany and Marshall as regent, or dare I say it Prince Louis.

I've been thinking if John was never born how much better it would have been.

Don't have to give John land, Henry, Richard and Geoffrey don't rebel. Henry and Geoffrey die and Richard succeeds to the throne without having to rebel. Richard crusades, comes back to England after being kidnapped but doesn't die to rebels because John hasn't been stirring shit all over his kingdom. Hopefully lives a full life and has an heir.

No King John Reign no Henry III reign. Unfortunately this would mean we wouldn't get Edward I or III but we also wouldn't get II

The sons of Henry II not rebelling and fighting each other would probably never happen. They were a raucous bunch. However without John's shit stirring the realm would have proved stronger. The french king, though good, doesn't have a chance against Richard, and Richard would squash any baron's revolt pretty quick.
However upon his death the realm would end up divided in a succession war.

Who would win? Arthur of Brittany vs Philip of Cognac!
It would be the blockbuster of 1200ad!
Who will win the bastard or the 13 year old?

It's hard not to be an idealist when you look back. I know the main reason of the fighting of the sons was because Henry II gave John land from Richard and Henry which pissed them both off and John too. So they fought if John weren't a factor maybe they wouldn't have fought themselves but others. Richard was always war hungry I'm sure he would have found something to fight for.

Vote on your phones now!

Henry II was controlling, he didn't give Henry the Young any real power for fear of usurpation. Which ended up causing the Young to rebel. All of the sons wanted their inheritance before Henry II was ever dead. If the Young King had lived to see a real crown, Richard would have fought him and Philip both for a free Aquitaine. While Geoffrey would have tried for Anjou and Normandy. Meanwhile Ireland will quickly rebel under the rule of John.

Nah you've got to vote through indulgence purchases, and crusading vows.

>Henry IV

Most underrated desu

Why no edward iv..?

You realize french was spoken in england by the elite abd their dependents and many english writers wrote in french for their masters? Its not like we call all Hungarians "roman" because their language of choice was latin in speech, writing and governance until the 1840s

>TFW France is so historically shit that Pierre needs to come into every thread about England and shitpost about how all of England's kings were french

Sad

>because their language of choice was latin in speech

Yeah language of "choice"
Meanwhile, Richard was a member of a French house, born recently after said house took over England
And French wasnt his "language of choice" but the only one he knew

Well, of course it isnt a choice if your social stratum speaks a language different from the rest of the population. Howevers its not wrong to say that the norman ruling class chose to speak french and perpetuate the language among their class rather than adopt the language of the natives. Over time this resistance against the native language became softer and by henry viiis reign we see a shift to english as the administrative language and viii spoke english mostly (despite his dad having been raised french in the french court of brittany).