Wake up in pic related as the newly crowned Emperor

>wake up in pic related as the newly crowned Emperor
How do you make this shit last as long as possible?

Other urls found in this thread:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Germanic_Wars
youtube.com/watch?v=ZSElBa6oqP0
twitter.com/AnonBabble

I don't care, I can finally bang someone

When? Either way, I'd try and learn latin as fast as possible. Also, try and find a way from the USA to Europe

pull out of mesopotamia and trajan's conquests

build nova roma as byzantium

fund trade routes through the red sea, possibly even conquering yemen as an imperial province to find a trade route to india bypassing persia

>focus on romanizing all inhabitants of the empire
>improve infrastructure further
>install a militia system so you don't need a giant standing army
>in case you need soldiers quickly, raise armies from one end of the empire and send them to the other end so they don't revolt or help the locals
>make peace with the Persians
>raid the Arabian peninsula when they start acting funny

What is the difference between a senatorial and a imperial province ?

oh and one should probably also raid/ pacify these guys

impossible, they are too strong 4u

not really
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Germanic_Wars

>117AD
too late

>Abolish slavery and send the freedmen to the provinces to breed and create homesteads
>Focus on improving infrastructure (water, sanitation, roads) and messaging system
>Give every province a local senatus
>Fund scientific and economical development
>Organize a defensive, conscription based army rather than a paid one

They already traded with India through Egypt.

>Abolish slavery
What do you think would happen if you attempted to pass this edict.

We're going to build a wall and Germany will pay for it.

gunpowder
3 field crop rotation
heavy plow
horse collar
saddle tree
horseshoe
pendulum clock
blast furnace
water powered bellows
pasteurization
germ theory

centerboard and fixed center rudder (ships)
attempts to build longboats and caravels
knowledge of vitamin c to cure scurvy, non pasteurized sauerkraut or dried fruit or rosehips
set up waystations with caches along the coast of Africa and islands in northern Europe to allow ships to make the journey, the expeditions won't continue after my death, so they will be heavily documented and romanticized

a map of the world, including knowledge of the new world

tracts on basic philosophy of science, magnets and electricity, steam power, attempts to build devices like spinning/weaving machines, computing, calculus, genetics, penicillin, the importance of sanitation, anything else I can remember

maintain friendly relations with the sarmatians/arabs to obtain new breeds of horses and keep an eye on them

don't know

I would need to gain prestige through conquest, so I would get some capable sub commanders and begin the conquest of Germania. I would then attempt to sort out the issue of succession to ensure my dynasty will remain on the throne for a while.
I would undertake lots of constructions in my new provinces in Germania which I would fund by declaring war on the Parthians and forcing them to give me lots of money. I would then attempt to fund an expedition to the Americas, if this was successful I would begin the conquest and colonisation of that area of the world.

>beg them to not kill me, but teach me latin
>once i speak enough Latin attempt to explain what the actual fuck just happened
>only know basic history of this period so kinda fucked
>depending on the period hopefully prove i am not bullshitting by sharing events that are to come and then watching them happen
>share stories of the future and fail at trying to replicate modern day technology
>probably pretend i know more than im letting on in exchange for pussy and big feasts and gladiator games
>end im just trolling them with made up shit
>hope all this shit is being recorded and guys in modern day and working hard to go back and get me out of here
>complain about the lack of cool shit like fucking lions raping and eating people in the colloseum, how i was told it went down
>probably how they execute me

You probably don't actually know how most of that stuff actually works. Just knowing they exist doesn't mean you could recreate. T

It should be done in stages, firstly by introducing a rudimentary payment for work. Slave's minimum wage.

>117 AD

wrong, I'm smart and I'd figure it out after a while

>in b4, it is not possible for you to be smart, how dare you be so arrogant

>Slave's minimum wage
do you realize Caesar fell on a knife 23 times for a fraction of what you propose?

Make some random fuckwit I find on the street Emperor
Retire to Crete and bang Cretan qts

Alternatively move further south in Arabia

>share stories of the future and fail at trying to replicate modern day technology

assuming you don't cause a world-ending butterfly effect just by being there, you could start with fairly easy mode stuff, like telling them to not put lead into the fucking water pipes and put more than one sponge on a stick into the public toilets

>implying I wouldn't have fierce loyalists in former pleb class because I'd abolish pleb/patrician system too
>implying I wouldn't organize my personal guard from my personal slaves who I promise freedom if they protect me from my political opponents
>implying I wouldn't break the NAP first

>>implying I wouldn't have fierce loyalists in former pleb class because I'd abolish pleb/patrician system too
>because I'd abolish pleb/patrician system too
you would be dead the next day

>It'll be just like in game of thrones!!!

>To conquer
Ukraine, the last of the Fertile Crescent.
>To edict
You don't need to be from Rome itself to be a citizen, that's retarded. Just need to be from a senatorial province.
>To focus efforts on
Romanizing Dalmatia, fighting corruption one step at a time, and introducing greater social mobility, ideally, but also very understandable if that doesn't work and I get resistance for it. People have been killed by less and I'm not planning on being killed.

Well at least you can then read about a populist emperor who died in one day but caused a slave+pleb revolt

>Abolish Slavery and encourage Graccus style land reforms and encourage people to populate the farmlands as sharecroppers
>Easier path to roman citizenship, all italian allies are considered citizens
>Representation from all provinces based on population of citizenship in the senate
>You cant bribe your way to become an official tax collector anymore, make sure taxes are not oppressive but also properly collected
>Reduce the overall size of the legions but collect them in larger bunches (One battle group in Gaul, One in Syria, One in Dalmatia) Rely more on local auxiliaries
>Auxiliaries would be based more on local nobility and small castle that serve both economic and military purposes, especially in rebellious or dangerous zones.
>Dont be such a dick to all my allies
>The military should be paid for by the state and not by the general
>In fact all legion geenrals will be recruited from full time soldiers rather than appointed from consuls.

>all italian allies
>117 AD

>Wow, what a fucking retard that guy was
>All your contemporaries write about how shit you were just to tarnish your name

>wait around china they get guns real early
>avoid dem barbarians they gonna fuck you up one day
>the church take over but mudslimes would anyway so take your choice
>cogs and steam makes shit work or something
>make settlements all over africa, it seems fucking retarded but itl make you rich some day
>eat all types of food to gain vitamins and stay healthy, dont ask what vitamins go with which foods
>disease is caused through germs and contaminated water


How bad did i fuck up the world with my current poor education knowledge?

And then you died because you pissed off literally everyone

>all italian allies are considered citizens
117AD user, not BC.

>someone
more like anyone

dude what if you told everyone about the New World? Would they believe you? Could you even get there with old Roman tech?

Something like pic related probably wouldn't cut it for the Atlantic.
Are there other, more seaworthy designs of the era?

Yes. Tribes like the Veneti used very hardy vessels. I don't know if they would survive the journey though.

Germanics had something like this, resembling a Viking ship (these made it across), but it looks a little small...

I dont think that could even get to Sardinia

Veneti had ocean-going ships and Romans incorporated some design solutions from them.
Fuck you could theoretically cross the Atlantic on a big raft, but why the fuck would you? Romans were never something you would call a naval power and for them It was just an endless mass of salty water.

You need good, laminated maps of sea current (n shiet) written in Latin for one; for two, you need laminated schematics for a transatlantic-worthy class of cargo/warship. You should also bring laminated documents on local resources (including maps) and indigenous peoples.
Frankishly, I don't know if going to the Americas in 117 is a good idea. Rome could barely hold its shit together on the Germanic and Parthian frontiers, let alone go thousands of miles across open ocean for things that I'm pretty sure they could get more continental-locally.
The biggest boon I think I could bring to the Roman Empire in the beginning of the end of the golden age is a series of laminated documents detailing natural resource deposits in Europe - gold, silver, iron, tin, etc, as well as advances in metallurgy and engineering.
Give Rome the foundation to leap ahead several centuries and the empire could least up to the 15th century even in the west.
And a big fat fucking warning against certain families. There'd be no Severan dynasty if I had any say about it.
And one more thing, I'd make sure Islam never happens. Somehow, some way, I'd make dominating Arabia a priority.

I like your style, user

Improve the economy, don't spend a lot on stupid shit. Also i'd probably do what Hadrian did and pull the border back a wee bit.

I'd try and scrap the Praetorian Guard too.

>wake up in pic related as the newly crowned Emperor
>How do you make this shit last as long as possible?

The extermination of the Jews is priority number one.

youtube.com/watch?v=ZSElBa6oqP0

Split the empire into 2 halves((become western emperor)) Convert to Christ and propagate the faith throughout the western empire. Invent rotative farming and tilling the ground with animals. Subjugate as much of Germania as I can and colonize it using the revolutionary farming method to farm in the rigid cold areas of Northern Europe. Assimilate the germanics, Slavs, nords, scythians.

t.person who completed civilization 2 on easy mode with hints turned on.

>117 AD
Well, the empire is "fine" right now. Some thing I would do with my knowledge is
>wipe out all the jews, man, woman and child. There would be a bounty for every jew head brought before my throne.
>I would also do the same to the christians.
>massively increase the imperial bureaucracy to increase taxation
>sub-divide the provinces into many small ones to prevent revolts
>make universities for the best and brightest from all over the empire to come and become the new ideal romans for the future empire
>at least double the size of the army, reduce size of navy
>try our best to hold onto Trajan's recent conquests, the ottomans held that border so can we ffs and it should provide good trade tax
>probably pass laws against all sorts of degeneracy and reduce womens rights as they are a harbinger of societal decline

I dunno that should stave off quite a few problems and certainly make the future much better

I suppose that an imperial province is a normal one, the senatorial contribute with senators.

>Introduce the concept of compulsory education to all free men
>Introduce the basic concept of germ theory, especially as applied to food and hygiene
>Introduce the most basic principles of the steam engine
>Introduce the scientific method and basic principles of chemistry and physics
>Introduce basic economic principles as outlined by Adam Smith, as well as some other concepts like inflation
>Withdraw from Mesopotamia, Assyria, and Armenia, replacing them with a couple of buffer states
>Use the withdrawn garrisons to better defend Britannia and the Germanic frontier
>By coupling the army with germ theory, couple legions with rudimentary battlefield medics and introduce canned rations
>Introduce an American style of patriotism, wherein anybody can be "Roman" if they abide by the laws of the land
>Strongly encourage Latin but do not force it upon the people or treat those who do not speak it as second-tier citizens
If I'm lucky by the time I'm dead Rome will be in the early stages of an industrial revolution, with a stronger military with a wider population base to draw from, more loyal to the state of Rome at large than their historical equivalents

>Introduce an American style of patriotism, wherein anybody can be "Roman" if they abide by the laws of the land

but they did?

Ehhhhh that's honestly a fair point, things really weren't all that different I suppose in that regard.

1- I would withdraw from Mesopotamia, Assyria, and perhaps even Armenia to appease the Parthian Empire and try to seek good relations with them. Parthia wasn't very hungry for conquests westwards, and never showed any interest in territories west of Armenia, unlike the Sassanids that replaced Parthia after the Romans destroyed their army.

2- I would use the ressources spared from war to invest in infrastructure and fortifications to secure vulnerable borders.

3- I would reform the army by having it be conscription based and have it remain predominantly Roman. I'd also try to get more cavalry in the army.

4- I'd change the succesion laws to try to make the heirs be clearly defined and legitimate, to try to avoid the catastrophic Crisis of the Third Century. I'd also remove the Praetorian Guard as Imperial bodyguards to prevent them from interfering with the succession and try to form a new personal guard of foreigners less likely to get involved in court intrigue like the Varangians Guard.

Get killed immediately because I have fostered no political alliances or influence and by appearing suddenly I am basically a literal who that they'll think they crowned emperor by accident. If they'd allow it I'd abdicate immediately and serve as a military man but otherwise my life would suddenly become tragically short.

If I woke up already with political experience and influence, which is probably what OP was assuming but was too stupid to make it clear, I would begin with assigning roles to capable men on doing things like compiling and rationalizing Roman law, setting up clear laws of succession, romanizing the populace, and avoiding invasive wars. I would pull the borders to defensible lines and invest in defensive structures like the Limes, and create strong militia border cities to cut down on the need for a large standing military. Assuming I haven't been assassinated or deposed already, I would then begin to reform the bureaucracy by establishing departments to oversee certain aspects of the Empire to cut down on personal administrative responsibility. From there, I would begin funding research into technological developments and try to nudge researchers in the right direction by establishing the scientific process as a means of verifying new developments. As this went on I would try to reform the Hellenic faith, and try to encourage it in the empire by allowing tax cuts and such for those who adopted the faith in full a la the Ottoman empire. On that note, I would go about siphoning power from the ultra rich and assuming I'm not immediately killed, redistribute the wealth into economic policy to recreate the middle class and help them thrive.

Of course, given rational aristocrats, it'd take millions of miracles foe me not to die while attempting all of this.

>reform the education system to make it more like what we have today
>try to negotiate peace deals with germans and parthians
>get ready for the fucking plague, or maybe find a way to not let it happens at all
>make romans still join the military instead of letting the provinces run everything
>have children and ensure they're not fucking crazy, even adopting if they turn out to be somewhat like Commodus or Nero

You were too stupid not to assume the parameters of the hypothetical immediately, unlike literally everyone else in this thread. Jackass.

You sound like a 4th century roman emperor, aka the worst (and last)

>not establishing concrete parameters
>everybody makes their own assumptions
>no clear way to compare them without wasting time asking everyone what they think the rules are
>try to assert that everyone will think of the same rules based on the flimsy greentext post OP made

You're pathetic

>harsher punishment of christians and introduce it for jews
>gradually abolish slavery and the nobility
>restore the currency to actual silver and gold rather than a fraction of it
>more free market less wars of agression
>further romanization programs to assimilate people
>more power to provinces to make it an empire and not just a large city-state
>trade expeditions to China

>harsher punishment of christians
>abolish nobility

so what, you keep the Roman state religion, but you get rid of houses who all descend from fucking gods?

how does this work?

Place more legislative power within the senate and then create a far less powerful second house of the plebs, who would be able to delay senatorial descisons, slowly attempt to empower this very weak house of the plebs, whose represntatives represent the senatorial and non sentorial provinces, create a proper succession law and ensure that my heir is dedicated to ensuring this massive project is possible.

The senate would most likely try to fuck you over as soon as you give them too much power
Like not passing the pleb house law

Damnatio ad memoriam (you)

>How do you make this shit last as long as possible?

Thanks for the answer, good stuff.

I would probably do stuff like Along with this I would attempt to solidify Roman religion kind of like how Aurelian tried to do. Codify the Roman religion into a religious text like how Jews did with the Talmud or Zoroastrians with the Avesta, both of which have survived unlike other pagan religions despite also facing harsh persecution. Codifying the Roman religion would probably keep it alive much longer and perhaps even promote more unity among the citizens of the empire and therefore stability.

Wipe out half of Rome due to the diseases I carry on my skin and in my body as romans have no defense yet against the super germs that have evolved in result of anti biotic.
Good times

>Move the capital to Byzantium
>Pull out of Mesopotamia and Assyria
>Expand the citizenship to all citizens from the Senatorial provinces
>Invade Nubia for that sweet, sweet gold.
>Reorganize a number of the provinces borders, merge some and split others.
>Invent the printing press
>Mandate all males be educated between the ages of 8 and 15 so a lot of people are literate. Females would be from 8 to 12 for much the same reason.
>Release a number of slaves from servitude, encourage others to do the same. Freed slaves are to be moved to the borders of the empire.
>Reorganize the military so every province has a legion of 2000 soldiers who serve for 10 years and are awarded land and citizenship at the end of the tour. If killed in combat, citizenship would be granted to the oldest child the soldier had.
>Soldiers who retire are awarded some land.
>Expand the power, rights and privileges of the plebians.
>Redo the currency so there are 5 coins only. My face on one side, some symbols on the other depending on mint.
>Introduce the printing press.
>End the murderous gladiator fights but replace them with other games such as chariot racing, wrestling, etc.
>Try to form long-lasting trade routes with the Parthians and nations further abroad.

>All these Hadrians saying abandon Mesopotamia
Have fun with your endless Parthian/Persian wars

The emperor appointed the governors of imperial provinces while the Senate appointed governors of the senatorial ones.

Give Army a raise
Give more power to the senate
Try to abolish slavery
Push standardized imperial succession
Keep Praetorians with me at all time
Kill more Christians (I mean I AM a Roman emperor)
Encourage greater imperial expansion especially in Germania

>tfw none of your suggestions will become reality

Why could the eternal city not birth an eternal empire?

>tfw

Eternally terrible succession problems
Even within the Pax Romana succession was a problem.

a hearty chuckle user

>117
a bit earlier then I'd prefer

I suppose

>suicidal campaign into germanic lands
>depopulate their lands
>start gradual roman colonisation

not much of a romaboo but hopefull that'd make some kind of effect on the barbarian population crisis 300 years down the line

To be fair pre-crisis imperial deaths were either caused by cruel fortune or the emperor being a complete dick.

so
Hard Mode: What would you do during or after the crisis to survive?

The Julio-Claudians started with the GOAT and ended with fucking Nero.

How did they fuck up so fast?

Family succession is usually what created bad emperors
Of the 5 Julio Claudians only 2 1/2 were competent.

I blame Livia. She along with some other women in the Julio-Claudian dynasty were malignant cunts who ruined everything.

I would struggle to maintain power while trying to navigate contemporary political networks.

The first order of business is legal reform. A constitution is necessary, and I can simply plagiarize. Second order of business, I would provide endowments to existing pagan academies and found new ones. I would implement an imperial examination system, and ensure that hereditary guilds do not dominate the civil service (naviculii, etc.). The imperial staff college will provide a trained officer core and ultimately replace the Alexandrian leadership model with a modern staff system. Residents on the grain dole would have to attend daily lessons in mathematics, and be subject to corvee and military levy.

I will trade acceptance of the Silk Trade monopoly for peace with the current incarnation of Persia, while I subtly undermine their position by pulling Justinian's Great Silk Worm Heist off several centuries early. This allows us to focus our main forces entirely on Germania. Germania is to be taken, several miles at a time. We peel it like an onion. Never penetrating so far as to rouse the tribes into action, and allowing the garrison to farm the land for their own sustenance to circumvent our difficult supply lines. Our troops, scraped up from the indigent class of the empire, settled on the frontier, forming buffers against the enemy, and a smallholding soldier class to replenish the traditional recruiting grounds of Rome. This allows us to redistribute land without antagonizing potentates. Using this model we can expand indefinitely, as long as there is arable land.

I will end all tax exemptions for the noble class, and have them executed in the arena if they dare to rebel. I would end consumption taxes and all sales tax within empire, but institute a property tax on only one type of property: slaves. I will expel the Christians to Arabia, where much like modern Israel, they will form a buffer state against the barbarians.

Even if you only know the broad outlines, that's still extremely valuable. Especially if you're the emperor.

Why would people even think to improve on triremes when the longest deep water journey is across the Med? But if the emperor sketches out larger ships, suggests using certain rudders, and says for a fact there's a continent filled with gold across the western sea, you can bet people figure it out.

Especially if the crazy, bizarre emperor who somehow knows the entire world map, the principles of calculus, and not a word of Latin has already proven himself with slave-replacing automation and sanitation methods that cut down on the plagues regularly ravaging cities.

Kill wh*Tes
Declare a war on (F)ersians and genocide them

Try to invent guns

Augustus was a good emperor but a shit paterfamilias

Convert it to Christianity (Protestant) then have this eternally etched into every building and rock across the empire.

"Protestantism is the real Catholicism!, Check it"

Or theyd just think you were crazy.

Imagine if President Trump started shoveling funds into an expedition to find Atlantis.

Moreover, the population is full of idiots who dont actually know what is good for themselves.

I mean if you just say
>Bros i totally know theres land out there it won't cost you a dime equivalent
and then send you third born son with a loyal sailor crew you might be able to do it

>magine if President Trump started shoveling funds into an expedition to find Atlantis.

FIY. before Caesar actually went there, Britain was literally a magical place with pots of gold scattered about

turn the Praetorian from his bodyguards into an elite legion
never allow the complete barbarization of the army
punish those landowners who refuse to contribute to the Roman war machine
Centralize the state more,but create two power bases(it would be almost inevitable that the empire would become split when it becomes huge,but you want two factions who are amicable)
improve sanitation and romanization of citizen
ROADS

Like I said, I'm assuming OP wasn't immediately killed by praetorians, impressed some scholars by doing an integral or something, and cut infant mortality by ordering doctors to wash their hands. He'd have some credibility by then and it's not like emperors haven't ordered insane ship ideas before.

The Nemi ships were made under Caligula and he was utterly hated

Yes, but they got built, didn't they?

And a return of Emperor Forchanicus' fleet two years later, laden with gold, changes attitudes a lot more than dicking around in a lake.

>wanting empire to last
We just spent a century of war destroying it, you cucks.

Steam engines are from even before the Roman period. A lot of the stuff he described aren't particularly advanced, and most of them were already at the very least thought of by scholars back then. What's really important is knowing how to use them, which user I'd guess would have at the very least some basic knowledge of.

You're autistic.
>/r/iamverysmart/

>Immediately emphasize using steam engines
>immediately emphasize basic hygiene
>Put most military pressure around the Black Sea area, try to cut off the horsefuckers and prevent the Volkerdamerung
>"Hey guys, the world ocean? Keep going west. Trust me."
>Marry a Parthian qt

>give everybody land
this is one of the reasons why the romans developed such an unsustainable empire you fucking mong, they had to keep giving land to retired soldiers that they didn't have so they had to raise more armies to conquer more land.

The thing about the diet is that people in the past didn't not-eat better because they didn't wanted to, but rather because bread, some dried meat and water was the most they could get most of the time.