You wake up in your current location on Earth 1000 years ago

Be a farmer.

Get killed by a bunch of injuns near Chicago

Join the kings housecarls!

I'm in a big city in the kingdom of Burgundy.
I show them medicine, that kinda of stuff, then dies cause I don't have modern medicine.

>Middle of nowhere Canada

Die

fishing on the rappohannock river, possibly raping and pillaging my neighbors but probably living a peaceful life.

t. fredericksburg va

If the abos don't kill me hopefully I'll bleach them out and start the white race.

>what will eventually be Adelaide
I'd definitely try to get to civilisation, but I'm not sure I'd try to get to Europe.
Europeans would barely understand me and better than Asians would. I'd probably spend my whole life trying to get to Europe. I'd be more of a curiosity in Asia, so maybe I'd actually survive.

>im 3 miles from venice

I fall to my death because I live in a commie tower

>injure myself by falling from 3 stories up
>can't speak to anyone as Glasgow was (I think) Gaelic speaking 1000 years ago
I'd probably last only a few minutes

>1000 years ago
Well, putting aside banalities like "I fall to my death" or "I'm in a wall", I'd be a stranger waking up in what a the time is a castle. So yeah, I still get killed.

>most likely a forrest
>use current facing position to figure out what way leads to center of town
>pretty sure there was a viking settlement nearby
>cant speak the language so just grunt shit and hope they let me join
>if not get robbed and killed

What would vikings do with outsiders aproaching camp clearly from neither side? Kill? Enslave? Recruit? Assfuck?

>walk to the sea
>make a boat, sail up Western Australia
>eventually make it to Indonesia, proceed to Baghdad
>copy all of the priceless works of literature in existence at that point so they can't be destroyed by Mongols

Killing tribes and punching rocks

>>France
Franks are Germanic
>>Britanny
Brittany paid vassalage to the Franks
>>Kingdom of Leon
Visigoths and Vandals in Northern Spain are Germanic
>>Burgundy
Fell directly under either France or the Holy Roman Empire.
>>County of Toulouse
Look up names of the Counts. They are Franks buddy.

some shithole jungle valley with some aboriginals scattered around

I'd be very wet.

I live in the polder.

Middle of Georgia woods. Probably find ssome Cherokee indians to join. Im big af for the time period so I might be given a chance with them as a nicer tribe.

>marry a humble yet large breasted indian woman
>father many children
>invade lands taking scalps
>rape other indian woman take more wives
Feelsgoodman

Living in a continent in which the only technological progress is throwing bent sticks.

Height? How large were Indians at the time?

Probably in the middleof some swamp jungle. If i did meet anyone theyd probably be speakig some weird sanskritized version of my language.

In Norway*

Coastal Virginia, make my way to the bountiful shenandoah valley. Hopefully not be killed by the red men.

Im not huge. Im 5'8 200 but I am very muscler and average height for them would be sub 5'3.

I'm right next to the most important city in the HRE at that time. Construction of the first stone bridge across the danube is about to start. Obviously no one would understand me nor let me into the city. I would starve most likely or be thrown into a prison.

Alternative:
I make up some stories about meeting god and shieet and a thousand years later Veeky Forums and Veeky Forums will sperg about what an important writer I was and how everyone who doesn't worship me is a fedora.

Coastal Virginia, make my way to the bountiful shenandoah valley. Hopefully not be killed by the red men.

>5'8"
Bahahahahahahahahaha

wake up in a forest, don't know where the nearest human settlement is, die of cold or starvation

>a mestrino in my thead

help build the bridge

>South New Zealand

l'll probably just freeze to death in a swamp desu senpai

Probably invent a load of shit in exchange for a nice castle and money

Wander around and try not to get killed by vicious Irish tribes
Hopefully they'll see my modern clothes and think I'm some kind of God

Lucky me, i just randomly checked earlier on Wikipedia that the town literally next to me is one of the oldest towns in Germany!
It had walls, it had a Königspfalz, it's far away from any border wars and the people there probaby spoke just enough german that i could communicate with them!

I will probably starve within a week because i'm a weak, socially awkward nerd without any practical applicable skills.
They shall find me hanging on a rope from a tree with my dick in my hand somewhere out in the fields.

Go raid the Germans who pretend to be the descendants of Rome, for reasons.

SPURDO SPRÖLÖ I'M GREEK I SWEAR :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
t. Turk

>Stuck in south texas with no AC
I

>northern sweden
ooga booga braise ukko :DD *castrates deer with teeth*

>Salerno
I guess as fine as you can be 1000 years in the past

>goreyo
Prepare my ass for the Mongol invasion

This is no fun because that's too far, let's change it to 150 because 100 has been overdone especially for 1917

> Wake up in Paris
> Learned Latin in highschool so it's okayish
> invent gunnery (i love black powder guns)
> reform and field the French Kingdom army as a modern entity
> Help the French conquer Europe
> Usher in European renaissance
> Deus vult

kek

Starve to death because I'd be on an uninhabited island thousands of miles away from civilization.

NZ?

Poland, probably work as a serf.

WUZ

OUIABOOS N SHIEET

Rolling hills that may or may not of just been settled by some vikings

Skåne, back then in Denmark. I guess I start walking towards Uppåkra, it's only 37 km through dense forest.

Phoenix
Get killed for being a white devil

>it's only 37 km through dense forest.
You're dead user.

>wake up a few miles from Ohlone Indian village

Start wiping out an entire race of people with the common cold a few centuries early I guess.

I don't think it's impossible unless I get eaten by wolves. I've walked that amount before and been really exhausted, but betwene life and death it's probably not so hard. I'm also less than ten kilometres from the coast, and 22 kilometres from a city I know existed at that time, so I don't have the worst odds.

t. retard urbanite

>Serbia
Join a lords retinue and kill me some latins (and other Serbs probably).

>unless I get eaten by wolves
That's the main problem, yes.

>German "Holy Roman" Empire

Voronezh - small fortress at the border with pecheneg.
I will go to Kiev and gonna be a translator for knyaz, because i know persian.

I'm in a village in a fertile valley in Derbyshire, well supplied with iron and lead. Amber is also available.

There hasn't been any conflict here for more than 80 years.

I think I shall invent European printing 400 years too soon, and be burned for sorcery.

Not all languages got the retarded involution of english. Unless you have the bad luck that the specific word has been replaced by a synonym you should be able to interact with the people like a tourist with half-assed knowledge of the language.

'Madrid'.

Die, desu, because there's nothing here, except clay overrun every now and then by leonese and umayyad raiding expeditions going north and south.

If I were to move south during my first day, I'd end up at the coast the same day. It's very plausible that there'd be a coastal settlement there. And there also wouldn't be wolves on the beaches, because deer and stags are generally further inland. My biggest problem would be shelter, because I might look pretty fucked up after two summer days of looking. Then, what I'd do, is entirely up to circumstance. I guess I'd try to find my way to Copenhagen for an audience with the highest ranked official I can find.

I dunno desu, Low German compared to Nu High German (what is used today) is miles aside. We're talking different way of building sentences here.

Well, I didn't say that EVERYONE except the english will be able to perfectly talk. Or that anyone would be able to perfectly talk. But that's not what you need, really, you're a stranger and people will be expecting you to not talk the language. Knowing some key words, even if you pronounce them "wrong" should be enough. Hospitality was big back then, say you're a pilgrim and you will get help.

Central African Coast near a river
>Hide innawoods and tech up
>Kill niggers
>Take the women as slaves and make rapebabies
>Teach the kids civilization and white pride
>Create "holy" book about killing niggers and genetics etc (stuff i think important)
>Heavy incest, try to create whitest, non disabled person possible
>Establish Klan-system to avoid incest in the future
>Tell them to expand and wait for the whites to find 'em.
>Tell them they are germans

Probably in a farm or a field.

Teach people of modern science and capitalism. Tell them of what is history is to me.

>5th floor of a building that won't exist for about 950 years, above a swamp
shi-

why

To remove niggers and make colonizing seem more okay, to gain Africa as a settling place for whites and make the problems of today unlikely.

>Cherokee
You'd be captured and ritualistically tortured to death. But at least you'd have the last laugh from beyond the grave as you expose them to countless horrific diseases and wipe them all out.

European explorers are in for a much harder time as they find a repopulated continent centuries later who don't die off magically. The natives maintain control of North America for the vast majority of cases.

I'm on the Delaware river with very fertile soil, so that isn't bad. Plus the Lenape, or their ancestors or whoever was here a thousand years ago weren't considered that violent. But there's still wolves around here then

If there's substantial islands at that point, they change, when I was a kid there was huge islands with big trees, now there is only small ones from flooding, then it may make sense to go live on one. Eat fish and parsimmons, and try to figure out what roots have the highest calories and aren't poisonous. Make bricks with available clay

I would try to unite baltic tribes and convert asap.

bump

So am I, can I join?

>Oklahoma
Hope to god I can find some natives and try to get sum fuk and live a good life.

It's fully desert instead of desert with some green/cooling
I'd have to head into the nearby mountains

I'm in nomad hunt-gatherer aboriginals territory in South America.

Better find a place to hide. There's a huge river nearby.

i'd be in england try to make my way to london get hanged for being black

I'm on the Delaware too, but I have fuck all survival skills. If you come across my corpse you're welcome to anything I had on me.

Are you retarded or just trolling?

Drowning in a swamp

I mean we have surprisingly huge fish in the river. Ever been tubing on it?

Thinking about it I think we may be in one of the best spots to survive this scenario. Assuming the Indians aren't hostile and I can somehow survive the winter I can probably do decently. There used to be a lot of beavers in the water, I can club the fuckers and eat them and their dams will also be a good source of firewood and there's groundhogs and deer. The biggest issue is that I will have to secure crops from the natives somehow, and offer them something they'll actually want in exchange and eventually I'll need to secure a woman

I hate squash too and corn isn't really that nutritious unless it has been treated with lye like hominy

Mind of a marshy forest with no large cities near by. Gotta love canada

if you headed to the coast maybe you could either get a shitty native kayak and try to get to Newfoundland or try and get noticed by Norse explorers. Isn't 1017 around the time of the L'Anse aux Meadows site or is it later?

Hang out with the Cherokee and war with the Catawba. Would be pretty cool.

Mind of a marshy forest with no large cities near by. Gotta love canada

Going from south ontario to newfoundland before winter hits seems kinda unlikely

My city of Liverpool didn't exist back then, just a bunch of fishing villages inhabited by subhuman Norsemen. Assuming I manage to escape, I'd try to find a nice castle and seek employment within, ideally as a tutor or something but I'll take menial labor if it's all I can find. I certainly would NOT head for a city, those places were death-pits before modern medicine.

it still wouldn't be too bad of an idea ultimately if you knew a bit about fishing and boat building. The water would be teeming with cod, which are pretty easy to dry. The islands and Maritimes would have a less harsh winters than the mainland

even if the Norse were no longer in the L'Anse aux Meadows site (dated 990-1050) you could still potentially get noticed by the occasional fishermen or explorer and there maybe some useful supplies or old tools left there

Are you Dutch?

Early 11th century Constantinople, hmm... It was one of the largest cities of the time, and considering my current economic status, I guess I'd be a merchant or something.