If you had a time machine what would you do ?

>tfw no Veeky Forums-exclusive Mad Max-themed manga about a heavily pregnant Anne Frank documenting her sexually charged whacky adventures in the Nazi-occupied Netherlands in a diary. Balancing caring for her unborn baby, satisfying her own carnal needs, and trying to kick the Germans out of her homeland.

>Cast
>Anne Frank as a combination of Max Rockatansky and Splendid Angharad, a nine month pregnant Jewish teenager just trying to survive the German occupation
>Peter van Pels as Nux, a beta Jewish boy Anne drags along for the ride and occasionally has sex with
>some random concentration camp escapee as Imperator Furiosa
>Joseph Mengele as a combination of Immortan Joe and Organic Mechanic, an insane Nazi doctor who wants to kidnap Anne's child and use it to breed a super-race of Aryo-Semitic hybrids
>LSSAH as the War Boys
>King Charles II of Spain as Rictus Erectus/Master Blaster, a childlike simpleton mutated by insidious medical experiments into a lumbering monstrosity
>Hermann Göring as The People Eater
>Michael Wittmann as the The Bullet Farmer, a crazed Waffen-SS Panzer commander who pursues Anne in a customized Tiger II, also the official Heckler & Koch spokesperson
>Red Army as the Buzzards
>the Romanov sisters as the other four of the Five Wives
>the tank crew from Fury as Lord Humungus' Marauders
>Louisiana Tigers as a band of soldiers from the Atchafalaya Basin who fought in a conflict that took place long ago in a distant land, got Samurai Jacked to the future and now wage a guerilla war against the Germans from the Dutch peat bogs
>Jeff Mangum as a mysterious time-travelling American rock musician who has frequently sexual trysts with Anne and is the implied father of her baby
>Special appearance by Sabaton as Doof Warrior

Probably just collect a lot of artifacts lost to time and build a library of things that went missing or were destroyed throughout history.

Also probably kick some Nazis in the balls.

Fight in wars throughout history, sometimes on both sides in the same battle.

Would that mean you might accidentally kill yourself in battle?

Go to the top of the WTC and wait for the plane to come in sight and then try to escape before it hits

Probably. Can't think of a more worthy opponent though.

t. pic related

>"P-Peter, why are you looking at my diary again? I told you I don't want you reading that until after this war ends and I'm ready to publish it. Won't you come back upstairs and cuddle with me? The baby loves it when we cuddle. He kicks like crazy whenever he senses his papa's nearby. I just love it when you put your hand on my belly and feel our son kick. Don't you? Maybe once the adults are asleep, I can even take off this dress off and the three of us can do some 'soul-searching' together. Hehehehe..."

Memorize numbers of lottery and go back a week->Buy lucky ticket->wait two week->repeat

Maybe I would need others to take the cash in order to avoid suspicions but who cares?

Go back and fix things I did when I was younger. I am not a smart enough man to do something more influential, but I am smart enough to know I'd probably drastically fuck things up. But I could make my own life significantly better through subtle changes, which would be enough for me.

Somehow make the Central Powers win WW1
Best timeline

I'd convince them to burn Martin Luther at the Stake at Worms

I'd kindly guide her to the nearest train station and/or Wehrmacht division.

[{~They~}] would just use someone other than Hitler to lead Nazi Germany. So it fixes nothing.

>unit turns out to be commanded by Albert Battel who gives her asylum under the protection of the Wehrmacht

Would also pay to see more preggo Annes

>Get back to 1914
>give to Kaiser Wilhelm the blueprints for the modern weapons
>go to the British Empire and do the same thing
>go to Romania and tell them to go with the central powers
And enjoy the show

Force Anne Frank and Mary Chesnut to switch places for lulz.

>"Dear Kitty, why are all these men in motley gray clothes with guns and X-shaped flags running around everywhere shouting about their rights and some girl named Bonnie?"

I'd show Carl Marx just how shit his ideology really is in practice.

Marx was supposedly very uncomfortable when he went to an actual meeting of Communists once. He might've been beginning to realize he had created a monster.

Pledge alligence too mein Kaiser Franz Josef.
using super technology and tactics declare war on every nation in Europe. Create Austrian World empire. Invade America and asia thourgh siberia. then marry into the habsburgs become Kaiser since im nobility.
Become emperor of the world.

Mostly I'd play around with trying to see all the different outcomes that could happen in WWII.

>Tfw you will never give Hitler a highly detailed WWII battles/history book, expanding further to include some more pertinent near-date events you might've known about by already having personally witnessed them - just to prove it's full authenticity to the reader autonomously.

>tfw in normalish timeline, although you did sabotage any nuclear advancement so it's a much longer, bloodier, war. You will never tip things so the US actually does immediately go to war with Russia in 1945+ and get to watch the results.

No amount of interfering will stop the Germans from royally fucking themselves, they're genetically programmed for it.

Well if you change the course of one battle it will alter the course of others and invalidate the historical reference. Choose wisely which event to alter

>high ranking officer who rose through merit and experience in WW1 leads Germany's resurgence instead of a surly demagogue
>effectively prepares for the next war and anticipates the importance of some new technology and value of combined arms tactics
>for example producing ammunition in the early 30s then shifting production to new aircraft in the late 30s when they have the technology
>same thing happens in France as IRL except the panzer divisions are not held back, inflicting crippling demoralizing losses on the British
>no nazi nonsense means occupied countries have a more neutral view of the war and are more manageable
>war on the eastern front is long and difficult with Russia receiving aid from the US
>Germany focuses on securing supply lines and advancing on the open plains rather than getting bogged down in urban warfare
>Germany lasts long enough to complete the uranprojekt
>first atom bomb exploded off the coast of England and allies begin negotiations for a ceasefire leaving the Soviet Union and China alone against Germany and Japan
>after years they conquer them with conventional forces
>the new Reich is accepted as a fact of life the same as the Soviet bloc in Eastern Europe IRL

Maybe you are why they all went missing

Go back and witness the fall of Constantinople.

Try and prevent the assassination of Caesar and maybe Phillip The Great.

Tell the American people how not to fuck up The Reconstruction Era.

Witness Antietam, Gettysburg, Shiloh and a few other major battles of the civil war.

FIND OUT WHAT THE FUCK CAUSED THE BRONZE AGE COLLAPSE, and hopefully get a better answer than "sea people".

...

Is this real?

>Romanov sisters porn
I-I'm interested

FUND IT

>FIND OUT WHAT THE FUCK CAUSED THE BRONZE AGE COLLAPSE, and hopefully get a better answer than "sea people".
It was the Jews.

Kill Aaron Burr before he dueled Hamilton

>Go back and witness the fall of Constantinople.
Nah, back to Humbert's delegation or something, or later, and convince everyone the Schism is bullshit, and if it happens/continues, it will result in countless atrocities upon both sides of Cathortodoxy at the hands of the roaches, so they better settle it once and for all.

This sounds like a Chinese cartoon tier.

>Kid from the future goes back in time and joins Hitler in art school and does his damned best to make sure he succeeds before plunging the world into war and genocide, having a series of misadventures along the way. Special appearances by Benny, Joe, Winston, and Franky.

If Based Drawfag agrees to it I'll throw up a Patreon and donate the first $100

Save Ctesiphon

>shouting about their rights and some girl named Bonnie

Rape, deflorate then impregnate

Stop communism by helping the russian tzars do economic reform, help hitler turn his life around, kill mao, stop race mixing in the america's.

youtube.com/watch?v=l5NA639Aup4

>Special appearance by Sabaton as Doof Warrior

You have no idea what I would pay to see that live.

You couldn't achieve one of those things if we gave you 10 lifetimes to try.

Killing Mao wouldn't be that hard. Just introduce him to McDonalds and his heart will take care of the rest.

Obviously a young Putin with a wig

That's hot

Really dude? You couldn't at least take a look at the filename?

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tourist_guy

Kill my grandpa for the lulz and paradox.

short the housing market back in '07 then live as a billionaire for the rest of my life

i'd stop Princip from ruining everything

>Take a rifle with a long scope, and shoot the duke of Normandy in the battle of Hastings in 1066
>Britain stays Anglo-Saxon
>Viking Empire dominates the globe
>Australia becomes settled by Vikings

Kim Jong Il could have fucked any and all of the QTs in NK and he still chose this fucking porcine doughboy for his heir. That hairstyle is JUST tier.

Actually Kim Jong Un was second in line, the one before him turned out to be a faggot

Kill everyone instrumental to the invention of the computer to prevent you from making this thread.

You could just kill OP and ruin life for the rest of us...

Your mom

But user, if Nazism is butterflied away the very existence of another World War is thrown into doubt. Even if it happens regardless, the aggressor might be completely different (e.g. Stalin invading Western Europe).

Endless eight myself to death

*Not ruin life for the rest of us

In that case, Germany goes down as the hero who helped defend liberal democracy from Communist tyranny and six million Jews don't die. Everyone wins.

Go back to the time when he had diarrhea or dysentery on numerous occasions and put a hidden camera in his bathroom. Then we would not only have pictures of his "weeny" exposed, but we might even have a glimpse of his ass covered in shit and his underwear destroyed! The mere thought has me all tingly!!!

Heil Shitler!!!

I'd go fistfight Gilgamesh

Everyone wins? Does that include the countless European citizens who suddenly find themselves subjects of totalitarian borscht-eaters, and at risk of being hauled to labor/reeducation camps the moment their neighbour reports them for being 'bourgeoisie reactionaries'?

Still, any scenario which averts the Holocaust is pretty fucking tempting to realise. I don't think people who try to argue that the Commies killed more people realise the immeasurable evil inherent in deliberate and systematic execution of an entire group of people.

go to the future, who needs the past?

I already did.
Why do you think Hitler was obsessed with occult?
Obsessed with the idea of unworkable superweapons?
Somehow managed to develop rockets just in time for the Allies to win and take them?
How do you think Britain got Tube Alloys?

Travel back in time and watch various religious events, like Jesus' resurrection for one.
Go and see if the holocaust really happened.
Generally just work down a checklist of conspiracy theories and supposed supernatural events.
Oh, and watch Hiroshima.

>went back in time
>didn't stop the Holocaust
>didn't stop the Soviets from enslaving Eastern Europe
>didn't save Anne Frank
>didn't even fuck Anne Frank, get her pregnant, wait for her to give birth, take the baby back to the current year claiming it as your own, and then to sue the Anne Frank House for royalties, accusing them of hiding the fact she has a living descendant, using conveniently obtained DNA samples to provide proof and making yourself filthy stinking rich.

Man, you suck at 3D Chess

save joan serve her and make her love me

Rape Hitler, then Stalin. Kill Mao and Pol Pot, also nuke North Korea. Film it

t. pic related

Kill Muhammad while he's out in the Desert. No Islam, you're all welcome.

Thanks major :D

Who would've made a better mom? Joan of Arc or Anne Frank?

I imagine Joan would've been the very strong-willed parent who doesn't hesitate teach her kids the harsh reality of life. But she's somewhat emotionally neglectful of them and also suffers from the voices in her that keep telling her to kill the Eternal Anglo.

Anne on the other hand would be a loving and caring mother who places her children's emotional wellbeing above everything else. But tries a little too hard to shield them from the often arbitrarily cruelty of the world and if a somewhat claustrophobic PTSD-afflicted emotional mess.

Original requester of the Anne Frank pics btw, thank you drawfag wherever you are.

>thinking she was that attractive

give ww1 weaponry to the Union at winter 1961, give ww2 weaponry, planes (with designs for takeoff stations), and tanks to the Confederacy at January 14 1862. Sit back and watch as the now über confident North gets beaten and the whole world is watching.

>winter 1961

You plan on giving outdated weaponry to them a century too late?

Join the SS and take her as my personal sex slave

And then I give WWIV weaponry to the union right after you're done giving them WWI weaponry, Mr. Reb.

...

Oops wrong pic

how would you wage war on a global scale at that level of technology

ooh wow I fucked up my whole post is shit woeweww
Nah I just want the Union to be super betrayed and feel a loss for it. Only 2 wars can be counted as a loss for them. Nam and 1812, and they were legally truces

Sticks and stones.

Will you make Anne call you Großer Vater?

What will become of the Mischling she gives birth to?

How are they going to fuel the tanks and planes

Colonel Sanders??

>user successfully fuses TL-191 and Guns of the South when the Union goes into an autistic spergfit and starts genociding the Mormons for "stabbing them in the back"

Good guy President Featherston when?

Is there more to this image ?

Spencer "Big Daddy" Bennett from Django Unchained, played by Miami Vice actor Don Johnson. Character is heavily implied to lust after black women and uses slaves for his sexual pleasure. Hence the unusually large number of biracial children on his plantation, pic related.

youtube.com/watch?v=eQlfHsys9YM

I made a request back in March for someone to draw a pregnant Anne Frank as a tongue-in-cheek reference to pic related and someone was actually crazy enough to do it. People were impressed with the guy's talent and started asking for more. He did a couple more but dropped off the radar around April after people started bombarding him with too many requests and /pol/tards invaded the threads to post their usual Holocaust denial bullshit.

Shame, his pics are actually pretty popular here and on /k/ and served as an inspiration for more than one pregnant Anne Frank fanfic on /wfg/. I hope he wasn't too discouraged or is just busy with real life. A couple of people around here have said they'd be willing to donate/pay him for commissions. I'm kinda a poorfag right now but I'd throw him a couple of bucks if he had a patreon to show him my gratitude.