I start with some easy ones
1. Greeks kill all foreigners because the persians tolds them to do so
2. King pilgrims so hard, the gold price needs a decade to recovers
3. Army forgets to tell their allies the date of the attack
Don't turn into a /pol/ shitshow
>Greeks kill all foreigners because the persians tolds them to do so
The massacre of romans under the orders of Mithridates
>2. King pilgrims so hard, the gold price needs a decade to recovers
King Richard is ransomed, tanks English Economy or some shit
>King pilgrims so hard, the gold price needs a decade to recovers
Pretty sure that's Mansa Musa.
#2 is Mansa Musa
>The massacre of romans under the orders of Mithridates
Yes
Yes
Here are some more:
1. Brought a spear to a gun fight and won
2. An unsuccessful 4 year long siege of a single rock
3. Rich guy losses first son and then his head in the desert
>Brought a spear to a gun fight and won
Battle of Isandlwana
>3. Rich guy losses first son and then his head in the desert
Crassus in Battle of Carrhae
a bunch of literal homeless nomadic outnumbered cowboys with lances and spears defeat a large, high tech, and expensive spanish gunpowder army by making them charge into themselves.
2. Great Siege of Gibraltar?
>2 empires fighting
>Empire 1 pushes through empire 2's infantry
>their infantry keeps going
>and keeps going
>empire 1's infantry leaves the fucking battle, thinks they won
>empire 1 gets fucked up, loses the battle
One of dem rome-carthage battles
trebia
try harder next time
>man wins battle against rival for the throne
>a new challenger appears
>advisors tell him to regenerate his health before fighting another match
>ignores them
>gets btfo
>Mercenaries win the battle, their king loses the war (and his life)
>Bankers collect Greek debts
>A "victory" that is further proof that orientals will eat anything
Fine.
>pope upset because some Christians are being heretics
>orders some French guys to fuck their shit up
>20 years later, pope has no more heretic Christians of that order in France
Eradication of the Cathars
Sounds like the Albigensian Crusade.
Both correct, but the Albigensian crusade is the proper name.
The texas war?
lol nope.
fucking casuals havent read their latin american history
>leader 1 wants to buy some land
>leader 2 says no
>leader 1 moves troops into leader 2's land
>leader 2's troops fire on leader 1's troops
>leader 1 claims the moral high ground and annexes the land he originally wanted
Guy learns one weird trick on how to put a dead guy on trial
Centaur of the Plains? I forgot his name.
Thomas Becket?
Mexican-American War
>Groups A and B chimp out and invade land C
>Conquest is finished in 30 years
>100 years pass
>Group C chimps out, starts killing Group A. >Group B sells their land to Group A.
>Group C assembles 4 representatives, they plan to meet with the leaders of Group A at a certain town
>Group C's representatives are brutally murdered by Group A
ding ding ding
Interesting aside Abraham Lincoln, a Representative at the time, was outspokenly against the reasons for the war, he believed it was a blatant land grab and war by Polk to shore up support for an unpopular presidency. It is believed he lost his Rep seat because he was outspoken over the war.
Cadaver Synod, cuh
Dusty old bones
indeed.
José Antonio Páez, Battle of Las Queseras del Medio
I don't blame you guys, this battle is criminally underrated. There is absolutely fucking NOTHING on the internet about it, I was literally dumbfounded when I looked it up and figured out just how fucking underground that battle actually is, it deserves WAY more attention because it was fucking incredible.
I only know about it through Mike Duncan's Revolutions podcast when he covered Gran Colombia. Best series of the lot, in my opinion, followed closely by the English Civil War
Speaking of the English
>English and French are at war, part of French navy tries to escape the blockade
>They keep gaining on us, shit!
>Great, there's a storm coming, lets hide in this bay full of sheer cliffs, Anglos wont surely follows us there at this weather
>They do
>hey senpai what should we do with these 400,000 soldiers and civilians we captured
>what soldiers and civillians? All I see is targets.
Not the answer I was looking for but it could count
Instead of senpai think xianbei