Quick Veeky Forums greentext me on Balkan history, you have 10 lines maximum

Quick Veeky Forums greentext me on Balkan history, you have 10 lines maximum

tribes n shit
ruled from rome
slavic tribes n shit
become christian
ruled from constantinople
independent again
ruled from constantinople again but by muslims this time
independent again
world wars
communism

...he can't even greentext

>I told Alexander of Macedon to conquer the known world and he actually did it! the Hellenistic MADMAN! ahaha
>Roman empire comes and goes and comes again but this time it's Byzantine.
>Slavs move in (a whole bunch of them) many become byzaboo christians
>Crusades and schism and shit, some slowly become catholoboos
>Muslims win, bye bye byzantines, oh they're back but this time it's Ottoman.
>"Pay the blood tax (Devshirme) and give us your women balkan boys" said the rapacious Ottoman
>"nah desu" said the serbs time and time again with varying degrees of success but some slavs become Ottoboos and some certainly do not (see Vlad the Impaler)
>Ottoboos go, Germans are best opressor now. (Balkan wars) don't even ask tbqfh.
>"I can not tell you what I want to do, but I can tell you where ... Some damned foolish thing in the Balkans wants to set it off." t. Bismarck, :thinking: t. serbian nationalists, 2 world wars... terrible business but they all lived happily ever after YUGOSLAVIA!!!!!
>Tito dies, suddenly old ottoboos are Islamist Fascists, cathloboos are Ustaše turbo-papist nazis, Byzaboo serbs are the bad guys though for some reason and NATO bombs them. Oh well it's not like the accusations of genocide turned out to be baseless. :thinking:

>Serbs removes Kebab
>Kebab removes Serbs
>Serbs removes Croats
>Croats removes Serbs
>Kebab removes Croat
>Croat removes Kebab
>Serbs remove Kebab and Croat
>Croat and Kebab remove Serbs
>Croats remove Kebab and Serbs
>Serbs and Kebab remove Croats

And the cycle goes on... Forever.

>Land settled by Aryan men
>blonde-blue eyed people like Alexander the Great, Socrates and Pythagoras lead their nations to greatness
>Persians and Romans invade, leading to the decline of Greek civilization
>Rome's blue-eyed blonde leaders (Caesar, Augustus, Trajan, Marcus Arelius etc.) protect Western culture for a while
>Rome falls as hordes of subhuman Slavs and gypsies cross the borders, destroying the greatest civilization known to man
>"Greek" mongrels try to patch up the Roman empire, get BTFO by sandniggers
>Aryan Varangians and Crusaders bail the empire out for a while
>Entire Balkans bend over to T*rks as soon as the Aryans are gone
>T*rk Empire is eventually destoyed by Germanic soldiers
>Balkan subhumans proceed to fight themselves and everyone around them for the next 100 years, killing over 100 million people

>I missed the greentext part

Mycenae
Ancient Greece
Byzantines
Ottomans
Communism
Irrelevancy

>Bulgars BTFO Byzantines
>Byzantines BTFO Byzantines
>Byzantines BTFO Bulgars
>Bulgars BTFO Serbs
>Serbs BTFO Bulgars
>Latins BTFO Byzantines
>Bulgars BTFO Latins
>Bulgars BTFO Bulgars
>Ottomans BTFO everybody
>500 years later
>Everybody BTFOs Ottomans

Thracians
Then Greeks
Then "Romans" (Greeks)
Then Slavs
Then Turks
Now Slavs again

>hey let's go conquer Persia
>oh fuck Rome conquered us
>wait they're Byzantium now
>who the fuck are these Ottomans?
>ow fuck stop trying to make me convert to Islam
>TURKS OUT REEEEEEEEEE
>haha that was fun let's go shoot the heir to Austria because lol fuck reason
>ow what the fuck Austria stop shooting us
>let's all combine into one pan-Slavic state while ignoring all of our different cultures and religions
>wait wait why is everyone leaving my pan-Slavic union?

>relevance
United statian detected.

Actually I am Greek
What can Serbia claim to have done for the world other than fuck it up?

>Actually I am Greek
Oh god, it's you the German Turk who's Greek.

Lazestan is Greek

>done for the world
Killing and genociding natives, and stealing their resources.

rape babies raping the rape babies

Go home Komnenus, your turk DNA is starting to show

Greeks like Serbs, which makes me think you're a Turk.

>shit and tribes
>gets rekt by Romans
>wre collapses continue to harass byzantine empire
>byzantine empire collapses now its time for us to become relevant powers-
>gets rekt by ottomans but they quickly decay and lose control but not without permanently leaving a mark on religion and culture
>lets celeberate this by killing ourselves over minor bits of land
>serbia comes out on top and forms yugoslavia a chance for the west Balkans to acutely be relevent-
>serbians chimp out about giving equal rights to other parts of the federation and it collpses
>now filled with a bunch of meme states whos only purpose is to be tourist locations for prosperous European country's
>also a bunch of lantin culture survived somehow in romania lol idk

>Aryan men
Stopped reading there.

>no true scotsman

Accept reality

Romanians and Greeks like Serbs. No one else does tho.

Nigger I'll do it in two

>slavniggs gonna nig
>everything goes to shit because slavniggs nogga nig

>tribes
>conquered by romans
>rome collapses, byzantium stays on in the south
>bulgars arrive, build an empire
>magyars arrive, build an empire
>serbs also build an empire
>everyone gets rekt by the ottomans
>everyone reks the ottomans
>world war one and two cause chaos
>Tito becomes the one independent, competent ruler of any area of the Balkans in over 500 years

literally nothing of any importance whatsoever has happened since

>Be me, Balkanfag
>all countries were shit, and are shit.
>Nothing will change until kebab kebabs.
>30x more shit.
mfw

History from 1800-WWI

Greece
>war for independence 1821-1829
>1830-1878 small rebellions
>pact with Serbia for Macedonia
>enter Balkan alliance of 1878
>after the Berlin treaty get new territories
>enter another Balkan alliance of 1912
>start war with Turkey
>win and get new territories
>another Balkan alliance of 1913 vs Bulgaria

Albania
>from 15 century be under Turkey
>live in Kosovo, Bitola, Skadar and Janina
>1850s create Albanian society in Istanbul
>have minor revolts until 1878
>try to enter the bosnian revolt of 1875 but fail
>try to get GB to help your independence cause but fail
>create the Prizrenska league (Albanian league) in 1878
>demolished in 1880
>Italy and Austria want your land
>In the 1st Balkan war Serbia and Montenegro occupy your lands
>in the treaty of 1913 get your own nation with a prince
>in 1914 say fuck you prince

Bosnia
>revolts of 1831, 1852-62, 1875-78
>Serbia wants your land
>after 1878 your lands are occupied by Austria
>they annex you in 1908
>this causes crisis

Croatia
>after Austiras crisis you come under Hungary
>keep language and schools under you
>want independence
>revolt in 1871
>ends after 3 days
>start a coalition with serbians in 1905

Bulgaria
>revolt of 1876
>russia pls help
>win
>get own nation
>decide to suck up to germans
>enter balkan warI vs Turkey
>win
>enter Balkan war II vs all others
>lose
>cry about muh big Bulgaria

Romania
>have Moldova and Vlachia
>unite them with the help from Russia
>revolt vs Turkey
>get own nation
>get king
>enter balkan war II vs Bulgaria
>win and get territories
>enter WWI in 1916
>win and get new territories

Serbia
>muh revolt of 1806
>muh revolt of 1814
>muh Miloš Obrenović
>muh ustavobranitelji
>muh king Milan Obrenović
>start war vs Turkey in 1876 because of Bosnia
>win
>start war of 1885 vs Bulgaria
>lose
>enter Balkan war I
>win
>enter Balkan war II
>win
>start WWI

Excuse me nigger?