I just paid $100 to TopResume to make me look like a fucking idiot. Check out this resume they did for me

>doesn't say which ICOs you're currently in as the top line item

immediately into the fucking trash

Looks like you're most qualified to create buzzwords.

...

Fuck no I'm not. My degree was in finance and I work in Business Operations.

I lol'd at that as well.

do you honestly believe anyone in a management position ISN'T stupid enough to be fooled by this?

jeez these people will throw around all sorts of words to make shit sound cool

t. an actual process engineer

wtf is an operations analyst

Can anyone help me NOT looking like a fucking douche?

There's no helping this resume user.

All the explanations are subjective. All the lists are cringy, or meaningless. Especially everything in the "operation system/software" list. It looks like it was made by a time traveler from 2001.

Take the job description. Copy and paste bullet points. Rewrite the sentences but keep the same keywords / buzwords. Put your name on top. Submit, don't bother with cover letter. Contact anyone you know who works there, in which ever convoluted way you might know them.

I don't have anything to put on my resume, but I'm pretty proud of how I designed it.

Just get a $50k loan, put it all on Bat, and you'll have like $250k in a month!

>everything in the "operation system/software" list.

>windows 2000, CS5

my sides

OP you need to get a refund if this is real

d...did you link your btc address?

Thanks for the encouragement.

learn to download a more fancy resume there are templates out there. get a copy of in design.

its not bad.

most company's will look at the center of the resume so get your best shit there.

APPLY everyday. just keep applying.

>55 WPM
You're trolling right?

Nah, it's url to an Curriculum Vitae website I made for myself, or at least it will be after it's updated.

So it's not godly? It's reasonable.

it's less than one word per second, are you serious?

nice brought 100k

It's below average and not even noteworthy. I didn't even know my WPM so I just tested it and it was 106 WPM. I would never even think to include this on a resume, especially since I'm not a court stenographer.

You make 300k a year talking to Mexicans?

Lol falling for the resume jew
Stay poor spic

I can easily do 120 wpm with 100% accuracy and I'd be embarrassed to put that shit on my resume. 55 is decent if you're like 60 years old

Damn, lol. Guess I'll remove it. I knew it wasn't fast, but I thought it was decent at least.

just tested my wpm
61 wpm with shit accuracy

;[

I don't even think you would be qualified for basic data entry.

This

I'm not a very fast person, in thoughts or actions, but I'm decent at figuring things out in engineering. I guess that's my only strength.

I guess that's my reward for playing so much runescape when I was younger. I'm in the 99th percentile on typeracer but some people on there still make me feel ridiculously slow.

I didn't make that money I basically helped generate it for the company.

doesn't software just search your resume for keywords anyway?

this -> they want to hear their own shit repeated to them
>>inb4 this lad is perfect for the job!

120-125 here. Competing against fags at Varrock East Bank was a total bitch and I thank my autism for getting so butthurt at people who could type faster. Didn't realize until I stopped playing there were macros.

We got an HTML wizard over here!

more than the boomer he's replacing can do.

do people really read this shit? i don't even know what to start with because most of this shit doesn't really matter

>business administration major
>assumes an employer wont immediately realize he's retarded before he even hands over his resume

>Mac Software

My school had various concentrations so my major was really Finance.

that's why you put the keywords in invisible font

oh god OP just jump off a bridge already

>maintained data systems by entering demographic information

wat

AKA my boss gave me a thick ass stack of business cards and told me to spend 8 hours manually entering the addresses into some 90s era contact software.

I still don't understand how that's maintaining a data system. More like maintaining a rolodex.

We actually did have a Rolodex LOL. Basically it was all old school and I basically transferred it to the computer

This looks like shit. I throw this in the "bad" stack

>objective

Holy shit leave that in the 1950s. You engineers are so autistic. They know why you are applying

>Paying 100$ to have someone else write a resume for you

Jesus dude

Honestly it's not that bad, but definitely get rid of the buzzwords section at the top to get it down to one page.

>advanced surveying
so you know how to create a google form?
>55wpm
fucking kek, don't brag about being lower than 100 grandad
>mutivariable calculus
kek
>word, excel, powerpoint
are you serious any retard could use these
>((some)) experience with linux systems
what you know how to install ubuntu?

and what's these shitty cogs? did you also expect your employer to send you btc? I'm sorry user but you're a faggot

OP here. I make $60k /yr at my current job which is my first actual job. I live in the bay area so $60k doesn't mean much. How much should I shoot for on my next one?

That's not what your resume says. You claim to have generated 25k/mo in income, not sales revenue.

why did you changed your id faggot?
depends on your job title, but for something intellectual less than 100k is pretty bad if you live in the city

Changed by itself. I'm only 2 years out of college.

what's your title? I got out of my school in france last year and started my job here 11 months ago at 110k and am now at 140

Fucking A. My title is Sales Operations Analyst. Started off in Sales setting up appointments and got promoted to where I'm at now.

It sounded like you worked at Safeway and 50% of the customers were Mexicans.

Definitely not safeway. Its a start-up in Silicon Valley. Had to remove the name of the company for obvious reasons.

I guess non-engs in startups don't get payed well. I would build experience where you at but if you just got promoted maybe try looking at bigger fish like Saleforce which is exploding or big tech companies that need you.
If you got some shares in the company (which it doesn't seem like), and you believe in the company I guess it also makes sense to stay, you probably won't have much in big ones

Here they pay shit but offer stock options. For me, they pay slightly above average but no stock options. That is why I want to move on.

yep get the fuck out as soon as you can then

I think this resume is more than adequate for dazzling some Associates-degree-wielding-soccer-mom-turned-HR-wench at some small family-owned machine shop you'd never want a dead-end job at.

>it's less than one word per second, are you serious?

Bullshit

Wait typing speed actually matters in the year 2017?

you do know there is 60 seconds in one minute retard?

>everyone laughing at 55wpm
>I'm not even 40wpm
feelsbadman.jpg

Anyone typing less than 100WPM nowadays needs to practice

Fast typing speed is good for pretty much any job that involves a computer, but it's more important for some over others.

Also, checked.

Even a LinkedIn page printout is pretties, I'm afraid

Is this honestly how people make resumes?

I literally just send an email and explain in normal and honest words what I do/can do; if you were an employer would you not much rather receive an application that way? Was asked once to sent a CV afterwards, but at that point my foot was already in the door

>process engineering

This is why you can't just add engineering on to the end of anything

do you not realize that he's just a student with no experience. what else is he supposed to say without having a half blank page

>1.25 page resume

If you think that employers read more than signal words of resumes longer than 2 pages, you are an idiot.

Wish you the best on your job hunt user. Make sure you apply to lots of positions and have a cover letter. Also make a linkedin to look at jobs and you can even reach out to people working in companies you want to work at and send them a linkedin email maybe they can help you.

How do you say faggot in sign language?

>I just paid $100 to TopResume to make me look like a fucking idiot.
I'm current job seeking and that line gave me a hearty long audible guffaw

if typing speed is important to where you want to work try get it to 80 mate. that is minimum bar of worth bragging about

I'm sure you have many strengths bro. being slow and thinking through things can be a strength in many situations as well.

>no volunteer work listed
>no personality comes across from the resume
>no hobbies/interests listed

Yeah I would toss your resume out. It's boring.
I prefer resumes that are like lengthy dating profiles.

Don't even worry about it. I'm the same way and I'm basically great.

Turtle pace master race reporting in 9 hours late

hes a civil engineer, meaning surveying means mapping the land. the rest of his skills though are laughable, probably just finished his first year.