What are some battles that just make you burst into laughter when you read about them...

What are some battles that just make you burst into laughter when you read about them? Bonus points if they involve Anglos getting what they deserve

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=NOZ_beV_SzM
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Waidhofen
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Ilava
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Hiltersried
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siege_of_Pilsen_(1433–34)
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Sellnitz
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Napoleon's_planned_invasion_of_the_United_Kingdom
twitter.com/AnonBabble

Any battle involving Austria

Obligatory.

>Kiska

Battle of Singapore. Chinks got fucked by Anglo incompetence.

:^ )

...

Those are still real people dying user

Okay, then let's have battles in which no real people died

Can't stall the Lasalle

[spoiler]At least not before 1809.[/spoiler]

Britain was a 19th century Rome, spreading civilisation to the unwashed barbarians and seeding its sweet fruit in the filth of humanity.
Do not envy us

The Luftwaffe flies overhead, no one ducks. The RAF flies overhead, and we duck. The USAAF flies overhead, and everyone ducks.

Bomber Harris probably sees USAAF planes flying overhead in his nightmares

Battle of the Nile

Sorry, that's Agincourt

This is the Nile

Ooh and Waterloo too

Oh and Blenheim

>118,000 Allies
>out of which 25,000 Brits
>British victory

b-b-but WELLINGTON LIBERATE SPAIN BY ITSELF AND DEFEAT NAPOLEON IN THE LAST EPIC BATTLE SAVING EUROPE

It is a British victory though, they were the only constant and relevant adversary during the Napoleonic wars. Wellington had unilateral authority, it was Brits who slaughtered the French at hougoumont, it was Brits who eviscerated Napoleon's cavalry, it was Brits who sent the Imperial guard running and it was Brits who Napoleon surrendered to...
The only reason Britain had allies was because they paid to keep them in the war, and well... It was becoming increasingly obvious the Brits were going to win so why throw in your lot with a lost cause?
>tfw the Iron Duke humiliated Napoleon and 70k+ elite veterans with a force of 25k Brits and an ad hoc ensemble of Germans, many of whom had never seen battle and most of Veeky Forums still isn't over it.
Guffaw!

>It is a British victory though, they were the only constant and relevant adversary during the Napoleonic wars
That would be Austria
Brits were a bunch of faggots who for most of the Napoleonic Wars did nothing but a mess of retreats, evacuations and civilian massacres in Spain, away from relevant theaters

>Wellington had unilateral authority
So did Foch on the Western Front of WW1 in 1918
I guess it was a French victory rather than an Allied one then

>it was Brits who slaughtered the French at hougoumont
Actually, it was the 2nd Nassau Regiment and the Hanoverian jägers who fought there

>it was Brits who sent the Imperial guard running and it was Brits who Napoleon surrendered to..
Only cause Prussians wanted to execute him

...

>That would be Austria

>Austria
Everything else here is correct, but the true answer was Russia. Without the Russian retreat disaster, Napoleon was on the cusp of total victory.

>no real people
man that's edgy, how old are you?

The Napoleonic wars were a Coalition victory, WWI was an allied victory. Both were also British victories, they're not mutually exclusive.
whether you like it or not the UK was Napoleon's most powerful and constant enemy, this isn't true for France in WWI.Though you are right, Brits being the more civilized would have factored into his decision to surrender to them.
>pic related
Clearly Brits at Hougoumont.

kek, Russia is wrong too
>Napoleon hoped to compel Tsar Alexander I of Russia to cease trading with British merchants through proxies in an effort to pressure the United Kingdom to sue for peace.
He literally invaded Russia hoping it might get Britain to surrender.
While Russia was a disaster, it wouldn't have been as much of a disaster as an invasion of GB.

>whether you like it or not the UK was Napoleon's most powerful and constant enemy, this isn't true for France in WWI.
Other way around actually
France was (although not by a large margin) Germany's most powerful enemy in WW1
Meanwhile, Britain was far from Napoleon's most powerful enemy in the Napoleonic Wars
Russia, Austria and Prussia (in that order) all rank above Britain in that respect

>pic related
>Clearly Brits at Hougoumont.
Are you stupid?
The Germans in Wellington's army wore British uniforms

Confirms the theory that Russia always ruins everything. I'm voting for them.

>While Russia was a disaster, it wouldn't have been as much of a disaster as an invasion of GB.

Pfffftttt
The British army was a literal joke
Had Napoleon managed to pass 1/10th of his army across the strait, he'd have conquered the whole island in weeks

But English navy isn't, no matter how hard you hate them.

German master race!!!

Literally any Hussite wars battle, battle of Domažlice is probably the best one, cucksaders run away because they heard this song: youtube.com/watch?v=NOZ_beV_SzM
Hussites captured about 8000 wagons full of supllies and gold, as well as Papal bull and rochet of cardinal Cesarini

Nothing like a Christian to know how to fight.

>Literally any Hussite wars battle
...except the last and decisive ones...
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Waidhofen
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Ilava
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Hiltersried
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siege_of_Pilsen_(1433–34)
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Sellnitz

t. triggered Papist
Hussites won the Hussite wars, some of those battles happened after the War and all of them are completely irrelevant maybe except for Siege of Plzeň

>Hussites won the Hussite wars
that's why they submitted to the Holy Roman Emperor, who became King of Bohemia.

Where does it say that anyone died?

Fuck, you're right, thought that was another "Prussians are no humans" meme. My apologies.

>conquered
He might have marched into London and sat on the Throne in Westminster, but how exactly would he leave? Assuming the Channel Fleet doesn't oppose his crossing, he'd literally be trapped on the island when they imposed a posthumous blockade, along with the victorious Gibraltar fleet.

Interesting theory, i can clearly see that you have no idea what are you talking about, saying that Hussites lost is like saying that irish lost their independence war.

Who are the real Hussites in your view? Ultraquists or Taborites? Who was in the right?

The first stage was ended by ceasefire (The Basel compactata) in which no side explicitely "won". Second stage, the crusade against Jiří z Kunštátu a Poděbrad ended in decisive victory of Jiří z Kunštátu a Poděbrad. Third and definitive stage, the Prague uprising during the reign of Władysław II Jagiellończyk forced king to sign The religious peace pf Kutná Hora and thus equalize catholics and ultraquists.

So in the end Hussites got religious freedom that lasted up until 30 years war.

thanks for the summary. Did the Hussites really just have a different Eucharistic celebration or what was the difference?

Also how did the Thirty Years' War end up for them?

Yes and no, (((pope))) had problem with that and that Hussites were against indulgence.
That part about 30 years war is that there was strong re-catholisation after the battle of Bílá hora

>Did the Hussites really just have a different Eucharistic celebration or what was the difference?
Disobeying pope, translating bible to Czech, opposition to indulgence, nationalization of Church property, return to the poor roots of Christianity, proto-nationalism and a good dose of socialism. However by 17th century the neo-ultraquist minority had closer to catholicism than it did to Lutheranism.

>Also how did the Thirty Years' War end up for them?
By that time they were no longer Hussites, you silly.

>Disobeying pope, translating bible to Czech, opposition to indulgence, nationalization of Church property, return to the poor roots of Christianity, proto-nationalism and a good dose of socialism.
So essentially the same things Luther did 50 years later?
Thanks for the explanation.

>So essentially the same things Luther did 50 years later?

With less radical theology, but basically yes. The imo most important difference between Luther and Hus was the invention of printing press.

Well, not realy, Hussites considered themselves to be catholics.

>implying he'd even cross the ocean in person

If he didnt bother invading Spain himself, he certainly wouldnt have for Britain
And anyway any invasion of Britain implies he found a solution to deal with with RN (that or that his aerial invasion plan worked)

That's what I meant by "less radical theology".

>he certainly wouldn't have for Britain
Don't be stupid. Napoleon despised the British more than any other nation he wanted to defeat. Trying to play the British off as basically irrelevant in Napoleons plans is plain false.
>he found a solution to deal with the RN
no way on earth t bh

>The Royal Navy can just keep sailing forever
You do know that repairs and supplies are a thing, don't you ? If Napoleon had been feeling confident enough to invade the British Isles, that would mean that he had control over most or all of Europe. In this case, where exactly were the British sailors supposed to resupply ?

Gibraltar
But these exiled British sailors would be very butthurt about knowing French soldiers be banging their wives and moms at home
So moral would be low

>no way on earth t bh

In the sky however

>Napoleon also seriously considered using a fleet of troop-carrying balloons as part of his proposed invasion force and appointed Marie Madeline Sophie Blanchard as an air service chief, though she said the proposed aerial invasion would fail because of the winds.[4] (France's first military balloon had been used in 1794 by Jean-Marie Coutelle.[5])
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Napoleon's_planned_invasion_of_the_United_Kingdom

Had he not listenned to that cowardly woman, Napoleon would have conduced the first aerial invasion in history

Man, Napoleon was an absolute madman.
Humanity will never see his like again.
>tfw you don't live in the timeline when the entire Royal Navy became dread pirates raiding the French continental empire.