You are now the King of a Barbarian Kingdom of your choice

Write down literally every facet of our culture and oral history in 100s of copies of books.

>France
>Conquer Frisians, Britons, Burgundians, Basques, Spetimanians, Provencians
>Abandon all territories on the right bank of the Rhine
>Rename my country into Gaul

Slavs obviously.

We will flood entire Central-Eastern Europe and subjugate Germanic shits, making them our slav(e)s.

>Start out somewhere east of the Dniepper River
>BTFO Avar fags
>Offer friendship and assistance to the Eastern Romans
>Help them to BTFO Moslems from their borders
>Send a colonial expedition to the Levant and other places in the Near East.

R8 my plan.

The east was cultural incompatible with the west even before Islam. Just hold Asia Minor and North Africa.

Reunite all of the West and swear fealty to the emperor in Constantinople

>Corsica
>Build ships
>Build MORE ships
>expand south into Sardinia, whihc was uninhabited at the time
>Build. More. Ships
>Also, guns

You don't have to be compatible with the local culture if you snuff the local culture out of existence.

Also, how the fuck am I supposed to reach Africa if I'm all the way in the Slavic sticks?

>>BTFO Avar fags

How are you intending to do this?

They were nomadic at this time, right? Just burn down the entire countryside and use a fuck ton of spears. That way, they either starve to death like the Holodomer or the get impaled. Is great.

I shall become king of the Britons and create a unified Celtic kingdom free of Anglo and Gaylicks and make a realm that shall stand the tests of time.

But user, there wasn't any boats back then.

>burn down the crops
>the Avars ride off to a neighboring land and take THEIR crops
>you and your tribe starve to death

There were some simple boats at the time, they couldn't reach Sardinia but they could get to northern Corsica so I'd be okay. Corsica is close enough to build a bridge to Sardinia, so I won't have to try to sail to Sardinia (which is impossible, obviously).

Obviously I won't burn my own crops, you goof.

I just burn everything else, and turtle down all of my settlements, while making systematic raids on them until the gtfo or they submit.

So you're going to burn down your neighbors farms? Who are you planning on trading with? And again, the Avars have horses, they don't have to attack your forts, they can just burn your farmlands and kill anyone who tries to bring supplies to your forts.

>become king of Burgundy
>autistically invade and subjugate my Arian neighbours to impose my views on the nature of Christ
>take over Provence, since I need sea access

I was thinking more burning down the forests bush land we dont need, and establishing communal farms with their own garrison.

The more I think about this the more it's not going to work out...

But what if we put the farms INSIDE the walls?

The... forests where you go to hide from the Avars? THOSE forests?

Honestly your best bet is to make friends with the Avars and use them to fight off other nomads, or even to adopt the nomadic lifestyle yourself and build a "White Khanate" from the Black Sea all the way to Siberia.

No, we have our towns and villages with walls to hide in. Forests can go fuck themselves.

Funny, that's essentially what they tried to do. But then Justinian's autism got in the way.

I don't thin horse nomads care too much about forests. They might be pissed that there's less game to hunt, but they have livestock (and all your crops), and YOU'RE the ones who use those trees to build your houses and walls. I don't think this will end well.

>Imperator Scotorum ("""King""" of Ireland)
Uhhh fuck. I'd try and reign in my vassals and centralise the country as much as I could, forge stronger ties with the western church, build a few towns in strategic locations, maybe stop pirate raids on the Britons and switch to trade instead. But it'd probably be futile.
Best case scenario I'd establish some kind of a dynasty, avoid pissing off the Britons/Saxons and the church and set a precedent for eventual urbanisation. More than likely I'd be usurped by a rival kinglet and/or get stabbed by one of my vassals Robb Stark style without accomplishing any of my goals.

>ostrogoths
>bend knee to eastern emperor
>retire to a villa and work on developing guns n shit
>fuck qt provincal chicks

Love this meme

>be franks
>do what franks did

Says Frisians, not Persians.

Have sex with a lot of qt tribal girls. Drink myself to death. Make sure to bury a lot of coins with my face and name on them so history knows I existed.

Why the fuck would I do anything else? painting a map won't make a difference when I'm dead. Conquest is stressful. Better to live well and die happy.

Things were going relatively fine until the anti-Roman Ostrogothic factions killed pro-Roman Amalasuntha and her son and lowkey raised a middle finger to ERE. Not to say that our boy Justinian sperging out didn't have a huge role in absolutely destroying Italy, but not all of the fault was with him.

>vandals
>ally with the Franks
>take Rome
>reform the Western Roman Empire