Tfw so much free time but nothing to fill it with

>tfw so much free time but nothing to fill it with
>tfw have a full time job but spend o little time working I have almost as much free time as a NEET
>tfw main hobby is drinking coffee in public, feeling sad about life, browsing internet on my phone but I have to give up coffee to avoid my sleep being ruined

Guys, what the fuck do? I read books but it just makes me feel like a consumerwhore.

Part of the reason that I do nothing is that I feel like I have to do everything. People call you a pleb for not reading ten trillion boring books, which turns reading in to work. I look at programming and people say you can only be a good programmer if you go through SICP first, which feels like work.

I also abhor the fact that I dont have autism that lets me effortlessly work on somehting for 10 hours in a row. I read a book for 2 hours and feel like a failure when I stop reading. I have FOMO in an infinite number of ways.

I just get so damn fed up at feeling like I have to read ten trillion books. War and peace, boring dostoevsky shit, boring shakespeare shit, boring chaucer shit, boring dickens shit... and on and on. And its absurd because I already see "literary intellectuals" as hack frauds.

I'm so sick of seeing people live their lives based on doing things that genuinely enjoy them while I'm thrall to phoney pseuds. I don't even have the balls to live life according to my intuitions and just ignore what people think.

You make this thread every day

>I don't even have the balls to live life according to my intuitions and just ignore what people think.
You have the answer right here. I've been frustrated at trying to act like somebody else as well. You are you, make the best of yourself. Live live your style.

Don't wanna read, don't read then. It's okay.

Try meditation. You may have to stick with it for a while before you notice improvement or get the hang of it, but I find it good for anxiety. Which is what you seem to describe.

Otherwise, step out of your comfort zone and engage in something, anything. Thing about what you want and how to get there. Don't want anything? That's good too, you're free to think of a position where you would like to be, or would imagine life to be better or easier. Not very social? Do something that forces you to socialise.

It might seem shitty right now, but it doesn't have to stay that way. You have the freedom and power to get to where you want to be, you've just got to identify what that is, or what direction it may lie. Good luck OP.

Read books that you enjoy
It's actually fun if the book hooks you
It helps you appreciate nd understand the world better

>step out of your comfort zone
This isn't the end-all of protips, expanding the comfort zone causes stress, do it enough and you'll hate it and get frustrated. Only do it as much as you want to.

just quit the shit that you don't like, and only do things you like or are interested in, just try to become more you

Just find a hobby to fill your time, and turn off your computer.

Fair enough.
I feel it should at least be investigated in some way. Even if its as simple as analysing why something makes you feel uncomfortable. You can learn and use this information.

At my job I have about 6 hours of free time from the 8 total. I bring in a tablet and read all the time. In the last 3 years I've learnt such much about history and other shit. Also Netflix. Don't try to be an active crypto trader or whatever. My success rate whilst actively at the computer is horribly bad.