So at my corporate office (I work in programming), my "team" decided to go out for a team lunch. But I'm kind of autistic so I didn't go. My boss begged me to go, but I didn't I just said "Eh I dont' know if I can go"
Did I totally fuck up my long term job prospects? Are going out with team lunches really essential? I mean, I spend the entire day with my team so I wanted at least an hour to myself. But I worry I singled myself out as a shy weirdo
All is good, don't worry about it.
Just as long as you offer to suck his dick after, if you know what I mean, he'll forget about it.
You did. Team lunches are an obligation. You don't do lunches with them every day do you?
I fucking hate open offices.
Is this /adv/ now??
your boss dont care if youre autistic, i mean, i will hire robots if i could if they make me money.
nah you're good, programmers are kind of expected to be autistic weirdos so you're good
Just go next time. Most people won't think anything of it, unless you never eat with your coworkers ever. Then you'll probably get pegged as a future spree shooter. Make up some lie about your mom being sick at the time and you being a too worried about her, and you didn't want to bring the rest of the team down, and you're good to go.
what corporate office is open with teams of people going out for lunches on sunday?
quit your job now and start your own business. what are you? a coward?
yep, you screwed up. I did the same thing once, had a new boss offer to take me to a hockey game and I didnt want to go because it didnt start until 8pm and ended like 10-11, also I dont drink and it was a work night and I need to wake up at 4am to get to work the next morning plus the time it would take to drive home.. and my bosses attitude towards me changed very quickly.
Not going to say if its fair or not but it doesnt matter. Its a hard game to play but you wont lose your job over just that... maybe passed up for a promotion in the future though.
make for them fucking pie next day as a apology you faggot
Just say you had the shits
It's ok. You're probably just reading into the situation too hard. Just pack a lunch so you have some excuse to wander off or eat it on your own or something.
If it's the type of place where lunches are unspoken mandatory groupthink sessions you're probably better off getting out anyway.
Fuck those faggots. If it's mandatory, they should say so.
Just go next time, you don't have to every time.
Pretty sure first day of my job everyone wanted to get lunch and I was like "uhh ahh, hmm I'm good."
But then everyone went and I was like "peer pressure fuck" then went.
I have the same issue. I think it's good to go once in a while to show some interest but I'm not sure how much it really matters as long as you get shit done.
Been at my job under a year. Last year we had an end of year team 'event'. There was a 1.5 team catchup and then 4 hours of drinks at a nearby restaurant.
I was so fucking flat out, absolutely smashed with work that was due at 2pm. This was meant to start at 12. It was either go drink beer and fail to deliver on time to a client as per our contract, or continue working.
When asked if attending, i told our PA that I'd be there for the meeting but continue working through drinks.
Shortly after, the senior partner calls me into his office and tells me how I'm not contributing to a team environment and not building networks internally, or keeping a positive attitude with co-workers. I explained the situation but it didn't matter. Felt like a slap in the face, particularly as when I joined the whole office was silent, but I built a team attitude and friendships and now everyone gets along and actually enjoys conversing with their neighbours.
Either way; you fucked up OP - particularly if your boss "begged" you to come along. Bad move, but you just gotta learn these things.
networking is like 70-95% of the reason for a promotion depending on actual field
Dude you're FUCKED. You are so fired tomorrow like omg are you autistic LOL clearly because you're here with us xDDDD fucking friendlet.
You did. Animals like social gatherings. If you don't partake in such activities, you're an outcast. Others here may not see the importance, but it really is important. It helps establish trust and other feelings. Only reason to decline is work. Animals will value work offer such gatherings, unless it's your friend.
You make up by offering the invitation next time. More than likely they won't offer to you again. When you do make the invitation, make sure to lie about why you couldn't make it to the last one.
No matter how good of a job you do, making someone feel safe around you is of upmost importance. You can be shitty shit at your job, but making someone feel just right will secure your job.
Dumbass
too true
Kind of. How the fuck do you think you get ahead in business and life?
"Oh I'll write really good code for boss man, he'll like that!!"
"Thanks code monkey! Go code some more!"
What you should be doing is bonding with fellow team members and understanding the challenges they're facing. Showing empathy will help them open up further about stresses and opinions. By gaining a full understanding of the team you should be able to understand your departments initiatives. And hopefully you're smart enough to figure out the best path going forward, which might differ from your company's strategy.
This can go different ways. You might prove your management competence to your boss, who will naturally recommend you to replace him when he's promoted. More daringly you outshine him by showing it to a higher up, letting you replace your boss or take his promotion. Most daringly you identify a project or initiative your company is missing, poach a team from programming of your biggest supporters to form a startup.
Good luck.
Your an outsider now. better make up for it. It might not seem like a big thing but now they will start doing things with out you and the gap grows larger and larger very quickly.
You're completely fine OP. During my corporate career I acted the same exact way. I always avoided group lunches, group activities, group anything.
And it actually helped me to climb the ladder much faster than the people who were participating in all the group bullshit, because the higher ups could see that I refused to get sucked into the herd mentality, or get caught up in popular opinion. I was always able to think for myself and make my own decisions, regardless of what the team.thought.
By acting like this, my salary went up by a multiple of 5 during my first 5 years, after 10 years I was nominated to become a partner.
You do you OP. Stay true to how you feel and what works for you. Let your team have the herd mentality if they want it.