>So you swear, your husband, my client, has a secret stash of money. Money made of beans and bats. And those beans are on the clouds. He has beans on the clouds. Is that what you are telling us?
>Not only that but you are also telling us he also buys drugs and cp with beans...beans and bats...
>Y-yes, and not only that, h-he has half of my money stashed in, in... the WTC
>Your honor, as you can see this woman is claiming my client has "bean money" on the world trade center. But as we all know, it was destroyed in 2001 by IOTA!
lmao. Thanks for the laugh.
>uh we're getting a call from the superior court. They say they're interested in the case.
Justice Ginsburg will now hear your case.
Well you see your honor, we have substantiel evidence that the defendant is withholding large sums of money in something called the
*clears throat
Ahem.. "blockchain"
>Your honor, I know this all sounds crazy, but its true. My husband and his people send coded messages all the time. This probably goes beyond our marriage, this involves hundreds of people
Objection, there is no evidence of a bean trafficker ring!
>ITS TRUE, why dont you check his computer, he is always talking with the bean guys there
I only see green fogs and crying guys caricatures here, are you making a fool of us?
>its a code! they only communicate through green frogs caricatures! someone has to believe me!
Kek, this is the real reason western governments want to rein in crypto
lol
>I've think I heared enough, unless you can explain to me what this "blockchain" and "bit beans" are, im going to have to dismiss this..
*waves hands
>whatever it is your trying to do
>"you see r-....right here someone subtracted their beans and added to this address...which means that he has this many beans now..."
>Worth how much?
>"300 satoshis your honor"
>What is a satoshi?
he is satoshi
>So the bean is worth 300 of this guy?
>Are you saying my client lost $100,000 US Dollars because of Dions?
Like Celine Dion?
Your honor, this woman has clearly lost her demeanor, please have her escorted out.
>No like Dions, bro. It's an up and coming internet coin like Digibyte.
Kek
>He has 5 thousands ANTs, I tell you!
>Ants? He farms them? Are they exotic and valuable?
>No, ANTs, it's a cryptocurrency!
>Hmm... well, according to my research, these ANTs were discontinued by something called... NEO?
>They're the same thing! ANTs are NEO!
>Ma'am, this isn't the place to be making a Matrix joke.
>"Well... he had his money stored on his computer that is part of a giant computer made up of the internet called ETH, and when that computer turned into two computers he got double his giant internet computer money"
...
You see, he traded POT for MAID and then the he pumped and dumped the MAID, replacing it with DOGE
>W-wait! He deals in explosives and narcotics too!
Explosives and drugs you say?
>Yes!! I keep seeing TNT and POT in his secret communications!
>you see your honour, it's all on here if you'll just go to "block explorer" on google, then copy paste his address...
>your honour?
So he raped and killed the maid? Thats a serious accusation. Lying here could get you in prison you know
>Judge Julie
That old hag still works as a judge? Seen her on TV since I was about 9 years old, I find it hard to believe she would enjoy working for years as a judge
Your honor my client claims to have lost and forgotten the private key to all his accounts subsequently declaring a total loss and therefore is not required to pay any taxes on said loss.
Easily makes $300k+ considering shes a tv star
how dare you reference my post from hours ago! honestly though it really is this easy to copy things, that's why the Tangle won't go mainstream unless it's patented.
No no, he didn't kill the MAID, he inflated it then sold it to someone for DOGE, with the intention of doing the same to that.
>Is there any proof of him partaking in these illegal activities? Messages? Transactions?
>No your honor, although he does have a wallet file on his computer called Monero
a-and...
>And what?
>An app called the obsidian messenger...p-perhaps we can investigate these applications and trace them to an accomplice.
>my husband bought Nigger coins
>umm so your saying that your husband is not a modern day slave trader? do you have anything to corroborate this? that is a serious allegation ma'am
these people make way more than $300k
basically anyone you know of that doesn't actually produce anything is getting paid out the ass (bc their job is to manipulate you)
More like close to $50MM a year
Blew my fucking mind the first time I look it up
>is there anything else?
>y-yes. Not only does he buy, sell, and trade beans, he's also a grower! I overheard him saying his beans sprouted.
>ORDER you realize you are acusing the defendent of unlicensed growing and selling of beans; a capital offense? If this is true, then tell us.. Where is he growing these beans and how is he putting them into the computer?
This. There's a story about how she would have dinner with the CEO of ABC/CBS/whatever network she's a part of, and she'd tell him "Enjoy the meal first, you won't be able to if you here my demands before hand". She has a vicegrip on the balls of that company, probably a billionaire if she's been saving wisely (and if she blows money like crazy it still doesn't matter).
>They communicate using these cartoons. They plan pump and dump scams by posting these ms paint illustrations
OBJECTION
My client is currently in possession of zerocash
The idea that he has thousands of dollars hidden away secretly is ridiculous
the royalties alone is enough for her kids kids to never work again
>You want the beans? You want the beans? You can't handle the beans!
>B-Blockchain?! What's that?!