Why wern't Russians using bear cavalry during ww1?

Why wern't Russians using bear cavalry during ww1?

Horses were almost useless in snow

Other urls found in this thread:

youtu.be/fcVCxFjWGeg
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

Great thread OP

>domesticating a large carnivore
nibba that's a deathwish

i heard beard were on a strike

...

Bears' temperament make for poor cavalry. Their skills are more useful in the artillery corps.

why didn't bears just take over Russia at some point, bear is much stronger than a human

Didn't one of the Russian armies in WWII have a pet bear with them on campaign or something?

well the bear he posted served in the Polish army, dunno about Russians

Polish

Ah, thanks anons.

These traits can easily be breed out in three generations. The Silver Fox experiment proved that. Did they just not do it because of the Russians low iq?

>Canids and Ursus are just as easily trained
Dumb

>handling three generations of bears is as safe as handling three generations of foxes

>fox experiment

Citation needed

canids and ursids are very closely related. I mean just looking at bears, when they aren't standing on two legs they look like THICC tailless dogs

Sure, if we totally ignore their temperaments, size and behavior they're just like dogs

You mean like humans did with wolves?

Bears are actually much smarter than horses

youtu.be/fcVCxFjWGeg

>Libcucks BTFO

>domestication = taming
American education strikes yet again

wtf that guy is a fucking manlet looks like 1,30m at best

>The Silver Fox experiment proved that.
The fox "experiment" did literally nothing.

taming is the first step to domestication

There is literally zero animal that was domesticated as a part of a self-conscious program. All of our domesticated animals came to us, we didn't go to them.

Yeah, if you're low IQ.

Tell that to the domesticated skunk.

That bear looks sad and depressed

It is

...

>what the fuck did I do with my life?

Literally everyone in the past had low IQ compared to us. Why do you deny the simplest facts?

Bactrian camels are actually fairly good in snow, but camels are not fast. Stable, surefooted and hardy muthafuckas, but plodding and not quick.

When the fuck did I say anything about camels?

Yea, it only took 50,000 years. Wolf domestication into dogs actually started out as habituation, not domestication. That is, wolves were hanging around human settlements and humans started tossing chunks of sinew or bone, and taking a wolf pup now and then. Wolves could definitely fuck you up, and they will hunt you if given the opportunity and they can't find any tasty deer or moose calfs, but they are generally stalkers and not immediately dangerous to humans.

You didn't, so I did for you. Calm your tits, nigga.

Because German Anti-aircraft MG42s would make them go explode.

Btw,
>camels are not fast
Are you retarded?

>Because German Anti-aircraft MG42s would make them go explode.

Those were used against Calvary?

Yup.Adolf Hitler tells in his best selling memoir Das Kapital how he moved down russian calvary with it.

What's with the saltiness? Wipe the sand out of your vagina and remember that you're not on /b/.

Now, do you even fucking read? The context was snow. Camels can move pretty easily through deep snow where a horse would have trouble. Horse hooves are also shite on ice. A camel is more sure-footed, though you wouldn't be going anywhere too fast. IN SNOW.

Camels are of course faster than humans, and they can move pretty fast (as in races), but they'd never outrun a horse. Their great benefit is their endurance and ability to go longer ranges without fueling up than a horse could.

Russians had camels?

Yes, in Central Asia.

Bears hibernate during the winter.

>OPENING MONTAGE - The Danish Royal Bear Cavalry in procession; Rembrandt’s famous ‘Ragnarok’ featuring Norse Gods mounted on Bears, black and white footage of bear cavalry circa 1914 moving jerkily, a series of impressionistic paintings, Teddy Roosevelt riding a bear up San Juan Hill, Vikings on Bears, clips of mounted Bear Brawls, the animals rearing up to club each other, faux woodcuts of Vikings riding bears fighting horse mounted nights.

>VO - MORGAN SPURLOCK - Is there anything more awesome than Bear Cavalry! I think I was nine years old when I watched Teddy Roosevelt charge up San Juan Hill on a giant Grizzly Bear on our new colour TV.

>INSERT - Director John Bodine, "....this wasn’t in the script at all. In real life, it was a straightforward cavalry charge, he was riding a horse. But the word came down from the studio heads ‘Make it Bigger, he should be riding a Bull Moose!’ Well, we managed to get a bull moose, but no one could get near the damned thing despite it being supposedly tamed. So there we were, a week behind schedule, shooting everything else but the scene and trying to figure out how to dress up a horse to look like a moose, when one of the P.A.’s, some Icelandic girl, she said ‘Why don’t you get a bear? We ride them all the time back home.’ And that was it, the rest is history. I think that’s the most famous scene I ever shot..."

>CUT TO SPURLOCK - We all grew up on this stuff. Vikings and Bears. I mean, you had to be tough to ride a bear, right.

>MONTAGE - Gary Larson cartoons, Tom of Finland drawings of leathermen on Bears, excerpt from ‘Blazing Saddles’ of Mongo riding a Bear into down, excerpts from ‘Hercules and the Vikings’ etc. Mounted bears rearing and grappling, while their riders punched and swung at each other. Home movie footage of younger children riding piggyback on older children, grappling. B-movie and documentary footage.

>VO - MORGAN SPURLOCK - Bear cavalry, bear riders, vikings and bears, the knights on horses versus bears and vikings, it was a part of our culture’s visual language. I remember my little brother riding on my back, holding on, while we played ‘Viking Battles.’ Then, I don’t know... We all kind of grow up and move on. Bears are cool, but it doesn’t matter much when you’ve got a nine to five. These days, we all drive cars. And as it turns out a lot of this stuff was... shall we say... exaggerated.

>CUT TO: Wilfred Hyde Pierce, Historian, Middle Ages - "Vikings versus Knights? (Chuckles) That never happened. Yes, there were Vikings and Norsemen, and yes, some of them rode bears. And yes, there were certainly knights. And during the Norse invasions, yes, there was certainly a lot of fighting. But you absolutely never ever saw a confrontation between a mounted knight on a horse and a norseman on a bear. (Chuckles again) A bear! Do you see one of them sitting still for the long sea voyage to France on a viking longship. I should say not. This is just the movies, and while movies are noted for their historical accuracy, in this case they’ve got it wrong.... mostly...."

>CUT TO MORGAN SPURLOCK: No San Juan hill, no Vikings versus Knights. Bummer. Was there anything to it at all? Was it just some great big cultural hoax? Actually, there’s a real story, a remarkable story. We start with the Vikings....

>CLOSE UP OF SPURLOCK GRINNING - From the very beginning, the vikings were into bears.

>CUT TO - A gay disco, huge, fat, grinning, hirsute, long haired, bearded men men wearing leather vests and thongs are dancing. One wearing a horned helmet, and holding an improbably huge steiner of beer looks directly at the camera, flashes an even bigger smile, and gives a thumbs up.

>VO SPURLOCK - Not that kind of Bear! Well, that too, I suppose. But mainly....

>CLOSE UP - URSUS HORRIBILIS - A GIANT GRIZZLY BEAR REARS ON ITS HIND LEGS AND ROARS AT THE CAMERA.

>VO SPURLOCK - This kind.

>INTERVIEW SHOT, SPURLOCK AND TOM HAGGERTY, ANTHROPOLOGIST -

>TOM - It was about the environment. The Norse occupied scandinavia. There wasn’t a lot in the way of big predators up there. Down in southern regions, you had tigers in asia, lions in the middle east and africa, leopards, crocodiles. Most of these animals were not native to Europe, but through trade, Europeans had a pretty good idea of what they were and what they represented. There was a lot of symbolism, a lot of baggage, which accumulates around Lions for instance, to the point where German or English Lords in countries which weren’t within a thousand miles of lions had them on the heraldry.

>But Scandinavia was something of a backwater. It was so remote that lions and tigers really didn’t have much of an impact. Instead, when the Norse were looking around for something big and dangerous, well, they naturally turned to the European Brown Bear, the biggest, baddest most dangerous animal in its enviroment, much larger and stronger than wolves....

>SPURLOCK - But it goes back even further than that, doesn’t it.

>MONTAGE - Excepts from B&W ‘One Million BC’, primitive ape men fighting cave bears. Clips of Bear skinned shamans dancing around a fire. Shots of the Lascoux cave paintings. Museum exhibits of cave bears.

>TOM VO - Certainly, Bear worship and veneration in Europe probably goes all the way back to the neandertals, and the battles with cave bears. Bears have always symbolized power and strength. They are immensely strong animals, they can stand upright like we do, they have a similar diet to us, and they liked to shelter in the same caves we wanted. There wasn’t that much distance separating early man from early bears, except that bears were bigger, stronger and hairier.

>QUICK SHOT - Gay ‘bear’ in thong and viking helmet grins and ‘thumbs up’ the camera.

>INTERVIEW - TOM - Any society which found itself living actively in close quarters with bears was going to venerate them. Certainly the Native Americans did. And the Norse were no different.

>You have to remember, that the Norse prior to 800 CE were really a marginal European culture. They were living in an area where agriculture was fairly borderline, there was a lot of difficult geography, hills, fjords, you couldn’t go in and clearcut it for fields. You were farming, you were herding, you were doing hunting and fishing. It was untamed land, and untameable land, and it was definitely bear country. This countryside offered a lot of shelter for bears, a lot of hunting and fishing opportunities. So you had the Norse living side by side with bears in a way that just wasn’t happening anywhere else in Europe.

>SPURLOCK - Side by side, eh?

>TOM - (laughs) Not peaceably, god no. You basically have two species occupying the same territories and they’re both big adaptable predators. A lot of bears got killed by Vikings. A lot of Vikings got eaten by bears. Sometimes they left each other alone, or kept out of each others ways, but when they didn’t.....

>TOM - Anyway, Bears acquired this mystique for Norse, for power and ferocity. Something that they were encountering first hand. This is where you got Berserkers. Literally - it means ‘Bear Shirt’ - These were men who would literally channel the ferocious fighting spirit and strength of Bears, originally, putting on Bear skin or Bear shirt as a kind of totemic magic.

>SPURLOCK - I thought they were just battle crazed fighters.

>TOM - Definitely, they were that. But I think its pretty clear that the earliest incarnations were shamanic conjurers. They were literally becoming bears, letting the spirit of bears fill them. Over time of course it just generalizes to battle ferocity. But even then, there is a direct reference to the Bear as the inspiration. They fight like bears, they are as strong as a bear. The Bear as an iconic symbol really gets entrenched in Norse culture.

>SPURLOCK - They even made pets of them.

>TOM - Indeed yes, there was a time during the viking age when Bears as pets were almost common. It was a huge status symbol for a chieftain or a lord or a king to keep a bear as a pet. It was common enough that in scandinavia jurisdictions passed laws basically prohibiting people from antagonizing pet bears or their owners.

>SPURLOCK - Excuse me. I think if someone owns a bear for a pet, the last thing you’d want to do is antagonize them. It’s a bear. It stands upright seven feet tall. It can take the head off a bull with one swipe. Poodles are nasty enough to antagonize, but bears? What are they thinking?

>TOM - Mostly (chuckles) they weren’t thinking I suppose. This is a culture which thought having brown bears as pets was a good idea. Let’s take it for granted that there was a lot of bad judgement going around.

>SPURLOCK - But these weren’t domesticated yet, were they.

>TOM - Correct. There’s a difference between domesticated and tame, between dogs and wolves. These were wild bears, raised as cubs and tamed. That’s what the norse did. They would take cubs and raise them up.

>SPURLOCK - Did that work?

>TOM - To an extent. Cubs were always fun, playful. There’s a lot of reports everywhere of people raising bear cubs. The indians did it, the british did it.... that’s where Winnie the Pooh comes from, an actual bear cub raised by an army unit. That’s where we get Smokey the Bear, again a bear cub rescued after a forest fire.

>SPURLOCK - Sure, everyone loves the cubs, they’re easy to handle, they’re fun to have around. But then they grow up...

>TOM - Yes, they grow up.

Wolves didn't take 50k years to domesticate.
It didn't even take 50k years to make them into purse dogs.

>SPURLOCK - What happens then?

>TOM - Well, they reach sexual maturity, become sexually active, they get older, wild instincts reassert, they get more dangerous. Adolescent bears are okay. Even young bears are okay. But some of them, as they get older and crankier, they get more dangerous. Even mild mannered, they’re dangerous, they’re immensely strong animals, and they have huge claws. They can do damage without meaning to.

>SPURLOCK - That doesn’t sound good.

>TOM - We don’t have a lot of records as to the outcomes with Bears raised as pets, but I would venture that they probably aren’t good. Some of them probably returned to the wild. Some probably ended up causing a lot of death and damage or needing to be put down. A lot probably ended up in cages or chained up. And they got expensive, this is a seven hundred pound meat eater after all....

>SPURLOCK - That’s a lot of hamburger.

>TOM - Certainly.

>SPURLOCK - So the whole pet bear thing, it was basically on its way to being just a fad...

>TOM - Precisely.

>MONTAGE - Black and white clips, hula hoops, sock hops, exotic flying machines....

>SPURLOCK - So what happened?

>CUT TO A MAP OF EUROPE, CENTERED ON SCANDINAVIA - ANIMATION

>VO OF WILFRED HYDE WHITE - "The Viking Age!"

Thank you for killing my thread.

GIVE ME THE VIDEO NOW!

Bears don't have guns.
Yet