Historical figures you would fuck?

Is this shit real, or just another wanky feminist fantasy e.g. female viking warriors, Ada Lovelace etc.? Because it kind of smacks of 'you go gurl'.

Margaret I, queen of the Kalmar Union.

>She has been described as a beautiful woman with dark hair, dark eyes, an intimidating gaze and the aura of absolute authority.[51] She was highly energetic well into her old age, autocratic and indomitable, with "powerful keeness in intellect",[52][53] at the same time also described as wise, just, tactful and kind.[54][51] Hudson Strode writes "Margaret, who, like St. Bridget, possessed the quality of indomitability, was undoubtedly the strongest. No male public official ever worked harder at his job. She used her constructive ability, her diplomacy, and her force of will to make the Union a success and to maintain the royal prerogative."

This tells me that, on top of being quite beautiful, she'd appear initially cold and superior when inviting me, a mid class man half her age, into her bed. Probably being somewhat amused by the idea that I even deem myself worthy of sharing the night with a queen. She'd probably be into gentle femdom, being indomitable herself. But her kind and tactful side would be apparent later, and she'd bless me with royal-induced orgasms I so clearly don't deserve as her social and academic inferior if I managed to please her, with a piercing and disinterested gaze the whole time. Then she might let me stay in her bed and cuddle after we're done, where we can talk about contemporary politics

Forgot pic.

Swabbin' the ol' jade poop deck, that's right.

Female Viking warriors (while rare) were real, and so was Lovelace. Ching was real too, though the image exaggerates. She really did run a fleet of hundreds of ships and 20,000 men, and exerted de facto control over several cities, but this is less impressive than it sounds because Chinese pirate shops were typically junks with a few small guns each. She also didn't defeat the British or the Portuguese. She took a few British merchant ships and one sloop of the East India company, plus some privateer bounty hunters, but that's it. In fact she was forced into retirement when the Portuguese sent four ships-of-the-line which proceeded to sink half her fleet. The image also fails to mention her marriage to Cheng I which was an important factor in her rise as she inherited a lot of stuff when he died.

got a source on the part where you say that the part about her never losing a battle is wrong?

I appreciate that those examples were real, but the degree to which they and others are exaggerated and then unquestioningly accepted just to prove that 'girls are strong too', has meant that when a particular female historical figure is lauded, it's all too easy to be incredulous.

Well yeah, that's understandable. In general though it's a good idea to be incredulous about anything that sounds fantastic. Unbelievable things in history happen all the time but exaggeration happens even more often.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_the_Tiger's_Mouth
Ended her career. Also I was wrong about the Portuguese ships. It was three brigantines and a frigate.

you should have that same incredulity for the narratives of most male historical figures tbph

Opinions about all sorts of male historical figures are pretty varied, but popular representations of their female counterparts are usually suspiciously (and somewhat patronisingly) positive.

I agree with you though.

If I were a slave owner in any time I would be fucking the negresses/barbarian girls day and night.

is Veeky Forums not a blue board?

Welcome to Veeky Forums

Hello femanon.

You exist to please us. Remember that.

>tfw the queen will never take you as her male bed servant
>tfw she will never give you a disinterested handjob after she's done riding you to her own completion
FUCK

Pregnant Anne Frank is exempt

would get draft and go to V-day and come back to marry this mid west qt and raise a family of six kids in a house I built myself

>you should have that same incredulity for the narratives of most male historical figure

yea but men accomplish things for real, even thog some men exaggerate.

women exaggerate all the time and when you consider every tale of GREAT STRONG woman there always a man in that story that's being played down.

>Margaret I, queen of the Kalmar

never a self made woman is there?

what.

she inherited her rulership, there are no women that take power by rallying a state by force of personality or mustering an army, they mostly just accept the mantle after male heir are exausted

>ywn find a starving 16 year old Audery and nurse her back to health and fall in love.

It's like Anne Frank, but with less typhus

>in 1945, some lucky Canadian soldier got to give starving Audrey Heburn a loaf of bread
it's not fucking fair bros

Audrey Hepburn was actually offered to play the role of Anne Frank once. She turned it down because she felt couldn't do it justice.

This

But a Dutch-Jewish girl and a farm in the Shenandoah Valley

Pre axe wound of course. Why do they always have to chop it off

No woman born prior to 1800 was beautiful.

And even 1800 is a bit a stretch.

Don't mean to sound like a feminist, but in the past it would have been extremely difficult for a woman to rise to power by her own merit in an overwhelmingly male-dominated society.
Besides, many of the greatest men throughout history inherited their power. Alexander the Great or Peter the Great, for instance.
Oh, and also I think it might be true that the female population has a narrower distribution in intelligence than men do.

>No woman born prior to 1800 was beautiful.

Um, try again sweetie

Almost all of these either look like little girls or have sharp-jawed, masculine lower faces.

...

Distrubution? Most certainly, but the capacity is equal. From even today to the beginning of civilization, on the whole, female potential was and will be squandered by illogical prejudices that ultimately reduce the capabilties of working in union.

Kinda lame.

>but the capacity is equal
You don't generally have capacity for something you aren't interested in, and interests among the sexes are not equally distributed at all.

Exactly, man! Look at alllll that has been accomplished, for better or worse, throughout all of history, with ONLY 99% male initiative.

I just wonder, unironically and with complete sincerity, how the tides would have turned with vindictive autocratic female dictators and ingenious revolutionary female inventors.

In your imaginary bullshit fantasy land where men and women are exactly the same, then if women were afforded all the freedoms of men throughout history there would be no difference because they would make the exact same inventions and make the same choices in history because men and women are the same

The first trap?

Young Stalin

Traps predate history, they exist in almost every culture

No, traps don't cut their dicks off.

>He was described as having been "delighted to be called the mistress, the wife, the queen of Hierocles" and was reported to have offered vast sums of money to any physician who could equip him with female genitalia

>had sideburns and a beard
>wanted to be a woman
jesus dude at least shave first

>Alexander the Great or Peter the Great,

even still they went on to accomplish more than their predecessors, and Alexander had a rival to his sucession but he was too awesome

> in the past it would have been extremely difficult for a woman to rise to power by her own merit in an overwhelmingly male-dominated society

my point if the sexes are equal how did men dominate society?

Female power fantasies only work out if all males are not existent or they are allowed to gain power by males.

Which is why women in power stories typically lay up the womans character.

Catherine the Great wasn't really great.

the only good queen I know is Tomyris

Yeah if you ever read about Japan's history...Trap central. Men would dress up as women for some kind of theater and then welltodo men would come and have sex with them...And the men dressing as women kind of were meant to just stay like that and entertain guests...

I am sorry I don't know the exact name for it all. I was reading a book about erotic art a few months ago and it had a lot of Japanese tapestry stuff.

(there are also the tapestries showing pedophilia towards young boys, but hey that's another story).

Ahg I am not sure if it was tapestry or scrolls. I am thinking it is scrolls...lol ooops.

It's pretty normal for Italian women to have beards

The Ultimate MILF

Also, Theodora of Byzantium

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Nobody mentions Sisi? With hourglass figure and beautiful hair?

How can someone be so wrong?

My nigga.

I have the same fantasy with pic related, except I'd volunteer for the RAF since our country was neutral.

...

Night would be long and perverse

Shocked nobody posted Joan of Arc

*rolls*

Clare Hollingworth, didn't knew about her before Google mentioned her birthday because "stronk, independant wimmin"

Why do you say the capacity is equal if the distribution isn't? What better indicator of capacity is there than the natural distribution?

wouldn't you rather have sex with her?

some rich Roman woman

Bro, Ching Shih would fuck you. Not the other way around.

You're lying if you said you wouldn't

Men are physically stronger than women and women are forced into inactivity by pregnancy and child-rearing. Also, the distribution of intelligence is probably different, as I mentioned. Hence there are a lot more male glue sniffers and petty thieves than female, but also a lot more male physicists and chess grandmasters.

i'm not a child fucking paki so i wouldn't

I'd fuck lovelace any day of the week.

Don't need to be a paki to have good taste.

Maybe just some BJ or footjob. I'm not into fucking children.

That's what I'm talking about

I'm a paki and i wouldn't fuck her. She doesn't have that much appeal. She's one of those girls that looks like a boy if you hide her hair.

There are two types of girls under the age of 10-12. One's with thin skinny faces and there's the ones with round faces. The round face one's look too much like boys while the thin ones are better.

However that is only as far as sexual appeal goes. Otherwise women in you own age group,cultural background and intellect are more attractive.

>She's one of those girls that looks like a boy if you hide her hair.
Is that supposed to be a con?

ops pick is litterly that dude

>Theodora of Byzantium
literally mother of harlots, and responsible for much destruction of the Roman Byzantine Empire

The mod likes it because it triggers nazis I suppose, when the irony is it makes a mockery out of Anne Frank by turning her into a sexual object. I guess some (((people))) never change.

She married Ching I who came from a successful family of pirate lords, and when he died she inherited alot of his stuff and his family supported her.

So no, she wasn't self made.

how would you suppose a prostitute in feudal china gain power in any other way?

if you want "fair" self made women then look at some of the current billionaires or scientists in the past

If (((they))) didn't want her to be sexually objectified, they shouldn't have made her diary required reading for 7th Grade boys then.

Never put your dick in crazy.

>current top 10 wealthiest women in the world are all heiresses or widows of billionaires
You go girls.

Fuck off you virgin, you know you'd give your left nut to fuck any one of those. You're not fooling anybody.

Mankind is dead to me.

>a prostitute in feudal china

successful ancient prostitute.

the whore with a heart of gold meme.

yes a brutal pirate lord is exactly what i think of when i think "whore with a heart of gold"

>a brutal pirate lord
>whore
>pick one

I didn't say they were ugly, just not ideal. Third from the right, first row, and second from the right, third row, are really nice. But I'm Slavic, I need a girl who looks like she can last the winter.
There were plenty of beautiful women from before 1800. Stop being a soft, effeminate bitch.

this desu

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roll

ATTIA OF THE JULII

nobody know this guy

but i'd gay for him

Haha well said maleanon let her go back to the kitchen

>that writing style
guess thats the only way of keeping americans' attention