How the fuck do I find a job Veeky Forums. Do I need to lie on my resume? Or go in person...

Just make up businesses and if they go snooping say the businesses failed or shut down. Have a friend pretend to be your reference. Or buy a trackphone and be your own reference and fake a dumb accent. If you're not getting paid over 40k they wont check shit though. They just want to know you've held a job for more than a few months. Fake a good resume and you'll get an interview if you physically visit them to check on it and don't act autistic. Interviews are harder though if you're not good with people.

Biggest thing to understand is most people do not give a shit about their shitty jobs and are probably alcoholic losers or have unwanted children, ect. You need to realize you're probably better than them in many ways, but don't project that too much or they'll feel their job will be threatened by you eventually and won't hire you.

Should I just pick an existing business? It feels easy lying about little minwagecuck jobs but anything starting to get real responsibilities seems it might face more scrutiny

what kind of job are you looking for

>walk in
>wear a suit
>"Hi, my name is Richard Sauce and I'd like to speak with the manager here."
>"Oh I'm sorry he's not in today"
>"Y-you too"
>"I'm sorry?"
>"I have to go"

This is how your advice will really go down for the people on here.

Anything that's not retail cuck or fastfood.

Yeah autists cannot be helped except maybe being on some type of drug or half drunk.

I would apply to serve tables/bartend at a restaurant if you have any social skills. It's super easy to make up restaurants in different states because as a business they fail frequently. I would stay away from corporate joints though because mgmt can be fascists. It's good money though but you may have to be at least semi-attractive

I would say the last restaurant I worked at for a couple years shut down. Then put actual corporate/chain places down as your previous job before that one because mgmt & proprietors come and go frequently so they wont be surprised if nobody remembers you there.

I dont care to work in a restaurant. I want an office job doing anything.

/FIRMHANDSHAKE/

Apply for a job working in bars at a sports stadium.

This is literally the easiest promotional pathway you can take, and usually all you need to begin is your RSA in Australia, or whatever the alcohol certificate is in your country (can do it online), plus a little bit of charisma and tidiness.

>Pros:

1. You need next to no skill. They have a huge fucking turnover rate and most need anywhere between 500-1000 staff per game. They don't give a shit if you're trash you simply need your certificate and know how to press what buttons for what beers and spirits someone is buying on your touch screen.

2. Above average pay rate. Where I worked my starting pay rate for my beginning shift was $27/hr

3. It looks fantastic on your resume, as your official title is something like "Bar attendant" or "sports bartender". This opens doors to getting jobs at actual hotels and nightclubs.

4. They're always short on staff, and this includes supervisors and managers. This means that by showing as little as 8-10 months loyalty, one day when a supervisor is urgently needed you'll be called up to do the job. Then once they know you can do that, you'll be rostered as a supervisor for the rest of your time there. Plus this means you can write "Bar supervisor" on your resume which will pretty much guarantee you a job at high end nightclubs or other supervision workplaces.

>Cons

1. Won't get many shifts, maybe 1-2 a week at the most. For me it was once a fortnight.

cont.

t. myself
>sent email with resume (which included pretty much just coffe jobs and NO prior bar experience) and RSA to the specific employment company for my local stadium
>did some paperwork, sat in an induction meeting, wow congrats u have a job
>first game is just handling drunk cunts beer and money, piece of piss
>8 months down the line i get a call "Yo user so and so is sick you think you're up for supervising"
>do the shift, it's a little bit stressful but I fake it till i make it.
>am now a supervisor for the rest of the season and for the year after that
>leave the city, now have "Bar Manager" at the top of my resume.
>fast forward 4 years to today, where I am now the second in command to a very high end nightclub on the Gold Coast with next to no management experience.

I'm a hack, but at this rate I couldn't care less.

Don't live anywhere close to any stadiums though senpai

where do you live?

Ontario Canada but I'm extremely far from any anyway. It's a good suggestion though

i know fuck all about Canada, but does Ontario not have like weekly sport games for CFL and hockey?

I'm far AF from any though and I dont have a car it's really not feasible

alright, the next best thing you could do would be to go to your local hotel or bar and ask if you could do volunteer work as a glassy for some experience. They love it when people do this as it's unpaid work and most hotel owners are cheap as fuck. It's not entirely legal in most cases but people do it all the time and it very rarely gets cracked down in.

While you do this build strong relationships with the people you work with, become well known and well liked so in the end you will either be offered a job there, or at the least now have bar experience to get a job at another place.

Why is nobody itt talking about factories or warehouses? Do they not have them where you live? Fuck bars and restaurants, factories are where cunts like you with no skills make actual money

that is very true, but factories are far less social. The social factor of working in a bar can be much more beneficial in the short and long term than getting paid $5 an hour more in a factory

All of the above, honestly.

Walk in to a bunch of places and ask if theyre hiring straight up and fill out applications. Youll get an interview on the spot to at least one place. Its that easy

Craigslist gigs, you would be surprised at what you can find there.

You guys dont understand. I've worked plenty of wagecuck jobs I just want SOMETHING not horrible now

fucking hell dude, you realize this actually takes effort on your end right?

I've spent a good 20 minutes typing out some very decent advice, if you're going to be delusional and continue to make up excuses as to why your dream job isn't handed to you on a silver platter then so be it. you're destined to wagecuck jobs.

You guys are giving advice on how to get wagecuck jobs. I can get those fine im seeking the next step from there.

Go to a recruiting agency you mongo

start with staffing agencies, do well during the probation period then get hired on to the actual company, i know warehouse workers making 40-50k plus full benefits with no college degree or hs diploma, save a little bit of your weekly check and put it into crypto

google staff agencies, gather the info for all of the locations near you, make/print resume

physically drive/walk/bus to agencies, sell yourself

prepare for on sight drug piss/swab test if you smoke weed

this is actually really good advice, its all about confidence and selling yourself, but dont show desperation, show confidence, always ask to speak/find the manager on duty and hand him your resume

I've bar managed before, but find the front-line people in Canada make way more than bar managing.

How do you find it where you are?