You wake up one day and see this outside of your city walls demanding you to surrender your city and pay tributes to...

>you wake up one day and see this outside of your city walls demanding you to surrender your city and pay tributes to the reborn great khan

What do?

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Chill out and roll with it since they're not nearly as bad as history makes them out to be, becuase they BTFO everybody else they came in contact with. I proceed to write an extremely sympathetic book and get allowed special access to Khan memorabilia, move to Mongoria and live happily ever after, having gone native.

t. I actually went to college up the road from Jack Weatherford's old American teaching post, and Weatherford was nice enough to pop over and talk about his book in our class on empire.

i surrender my city and pay tributes to the reborn great khan

There he is!

ULAN

Go full Russian on them

Do I get a Mongol wife if I agree?

This image deserves to be ruined via repetitive usage as a meme reaction pic.

>they aren't as bad as history makes them out to be
emulate cato

Cato the Elder hopefully

I reveal that I am the reborn Khan and command them to attack Russia.

Launch diseased corpses at them. If they can get pass the walls, or the gate the so be it. But for everyone they kill ten of them will be cooked by pitch.

Tell him to wait while I try to make mammi

Praise Tengri desu

Pay the Khan their fucking tribute.

No, emulate the failure and kys.

Can't be afraid of the step lords if you become the lords of the steppe desu senpai

>Perhaps the most grisly tactical weapon used at the siege of Kusong was the catapult-launched fire-bomb. The Mongols boiled down their captives and used liquified human fat to fuel a weapon which produced fires that were practically inextinguishable.
Human history is pure horror.

>Modern mongols
Tell the PLA border cavalry battalions to have em arrested & deported for illegal immigration and perhaps poaching.

fugg

They mostly killed other mongoloid so its ok

>tfw this is greek fire

That's not really the point, they felt just as much pain as you and I. Some accounts say the people weren't even dead. So basically you are tied up hands and knees, thrown into a human sized cauldron with a fire on the bottom, and you drown in boiling water. Imagine that for a second.

Wait for a few days until the military comes and gets them.

I want her to squeeze my head with those flexible legs

hot

Join my mongol brethrens. Shit I pretty much look like a mongol anyway even though I'm finnish.

Well at some point your nerve endings are gone

The worst excruciating pain imaginable, then you drown. Remember also before this you had to battle the mongols and lost, seeing your brothers die beside you. So it's 1. Failure 2. Torture 3. Death.
Triple banger of emotional and psychological trauma.

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Thread theme

If you can't beat em', join em'.

But the finns are mongolian
t. magyar

come out as superhuman emotionally or die

Nah man i could take those guys on, just like run out and start throwing punches. The thing you have to remember about mongols is that they're more scared of you then you are of them.

Tell them I am Roman-reborn and we'll take Mongolia and China for a new khanate.

Being Stoic is the only thing you can do. You are 100% going to die, they need your human body fat to ignite the firebombs.