How would Veeky Forums stay Veeky Forums during a zombie apocalypse?

Yarb.

nah its the hunchback of notre dame

this, we would absolutely fuck zombies up, but its fun to humor the concept

>routines
carry all my shitxF every day
maybe some sort of calisthenics to stay in shape but because nobody gives a fuck about physiques in the apocalypse you wouldn't want to bother eating a ton to maintain muscle mass

>diets
literally anything i can catch/forage and eat, not excluding people, nobody is special anymore and humans would become much easier game than an animal that can break into a +30 mile sprint at the sound of foliage rustling or an animal that can literally fly away

>plans
not die horribly

>equipment
something to cook/boil shit in, something to put over my head when it rains, something to wear, something to fight zombies with, something to fight people with, and something to carry all of that in

>implying I wouldn't immediately get bitten by a zombie

are you even trying to leave humanity behind?

>not excluding people
You deserve to be eaten. Live humans are free game, man. If the situation calls for it, your life is more important. I get that. What I don't get is how assholes like you can disrespect the dead like that.

what?

>walk into empty gym
wow look the power cage is finally empty

Holy fuck

Read the goddamn sticky you fucking ponce

Wtf are you talking about you stupid bitch

I dunno would you?

Since staying alive is part of fitness, I would start picking off all survivors withing a half-mile radius of my home and build up a stockpile of goods.

I'd straight up harem mode this bitch. Lowest age 15

The guy I replied to said he would eat anything, not excluding people. This means he would eat people. Disrespecting the dead is wrong. Maybe you should pick up some books along with those weights, because I doubt this would be hard to understand for anyone else.

Tending to a group of random women during a crisis is a surefire way to get yourself dead

>zombieism is almost always a virus that survives in its host after death
>thinks eating people won't just fuck your shit up
This is why you exclude eating people.

pffft..how nigga? I'm faster.

You are not a smart man

Well yes, aside from the obvious health reasons to abstain from eating people. Otherwise, it's just a matter of principle.

how the fuck am I not smart?

>have sex slaves then have the butch chicks be guards
>WHEN shit hits the fan just get out while the chicks try to save everyone and fuck all their shit up
>come back when shit died down
>see the chick that was on my dick the day before dead on the floor
>start up harem somewhere else

>Live humans are free game
>What I don't get is how assholes like you can disrespect the dead like that.

they have to die first for you to butcher and eat them, ya fucking retard

...

You expect them to feed themselves? How are you going to stockpile life saving food, water, medicine, or weapons?

You are dumb and weak, you won't last long

Not that user, but it's pretty much the most realistic plan that most people would resort to, don't really get what is fedora about it.

You're entirely missing the point of what I just said. I'm AGAINST the butchering and eating of humans. Why are so many people struggling with this?

That's a dumb thing to be against during an apocalypse

>"Hey, I heard there was a Harem-user with a harem full of young, nubile women in their early teens to early 30's."
>"Really? No able-bodied men whatsoever?"
>"Yep. And I heard they're doing really badly too, because nobody can forage reliably and all they do is sit around consuming resources."
>"Wow, we can take them over right fucking now."
>"Too late. Somebody already conquered that fort, like, 2 weeks ago."
>"Lucky bugger."
>"I know. Harem-user spent all that time amassing such a large harem of beautiful women, and some alpha-male Chad just swooped in and took all of his hard-earned work."
>"Such is life in Zombie Apocalypse, brother."
>"Aye. Such is life."

There's no point in living if you have to trade your humanity to do so. Decent men don't descend into cannibalism. It's that simple.

>Live humans are free game

>Decent men don't descend into cannibalism.

I agree my le gentlemen friend! Chivalry to the end, I say, m'ladies and children first!

checked

LEAVE HUMANITY BEHIND, MOTHERFUCKER

>decent men
>during the apocalypse

It's noble that you would take such a stance, but you wouldn't live long enough to be of influence.

>mfw armed, self-sufficient inawwods family

Rednecks will rule the wasetlands.

>not wanting to be a degenerate cannibal and give yourself all sorts of illnesses by eating humans
>especially wanting to stay away from potentially infected flesh
>having morals
>this makes you a fedora
Ok buddy

>Decent men

What other arbitrary limitations will these men place on themselves? I'm asking for a friend

If the end times were like The Road then perhaps but not in a simple zombie situation; most people would not just suddenly resort to eating people in such a nonchalant manner as that...

I guess we'll just have to wait and see then.

Hopefully I zombie would get me

Why would you want to wait and see? Isn't a decent man obligated to do everything in his power to prevent the apocalypse from occurring?

depends on how long in really, after a couple years or so there's going to be nothing left but zombies, wild game, wild flora, and people, and you can only safely consume 3 out of 4 of those demographics

>illnesses by eating humans
cook it you retard
>stay away from potentially infected flesh
inspect it you retard
>having morals
save good people but eat every other person you have to fight you retard

Same here

I hope that, as a zombie, you are able to sense and experience your actions. Devoid of reason like a feral animal.

>adding "you retard" to every sentence helps your argument

>live in Buffalo
>zombie apocalypse happens
>hunker down until winter
>Wait for the first string of snowy, sub-zero days
>proceed to eliminate frozen zombies
>when finished, walk to the neighborhood bar and cook up some wings.

desu senpai i would probably just resort to eating humans

hmmm... this might actually work, its passed through blood/saliva into your blood stream, it'd be like ingesting poison, doesn't really do shit since your stomach acids would destroy anything...

...

Exercise?
Daily full body calisthenics russian style with a twice a week short strength trainign session.

Or I can do daily "grease the groove" workouts with bodyweight and lifting modrately heavy shit.
Won't be fucked and can build strength and endurance without heavy rest days.
Hitt twice a week and long walks.
Meditation is a must.

Diet is whatever I can forage for. I'd keep a large bag of trail mix a brick of pemmican and dry meat/jerky with industrial strength caffeine and vitamins as back up.

Would also keep some growth hormone on me to help with wounds and low amounts of gear to keep me going and pain killer so I can keep going if I lose a limb or fuck up some joints. Or kill myself if I get bitten.

Hey, the world is over, I'm not going to have kids in that world and I would want to live long enough to find or create a nice safe place to die oldish and comfortable.

Would head to the deserts and find an old abandoned missle silo.
Retrofit the place so that it can be 100% self sustained and only go out in my electric and methane powered car for food needed supplies and to find books/games etc.

Will pick up a hunting rifle for hunting animals and keep handguns with considerable fire power for any zombies that get too close.
Will build or find bow and arrow and cross bows in case bullets and materials to build bullets become scarce.

Might decide to go to the plains and live like the indians. Keep a horse get a teepee and have the simple straight forward life of a native american combined with the latest tech.

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i didn't see your rebuttal, you retard

quick, claim your zombie apocalypse weaponfu!

>small, easily portable while running
>ammo semi-common
>good for crowd control (blow off legs of multiple zombies with one shot)
>good for kill shots (maximum head trauma per shot)

Need a tank?

It's Maisie Williams you retard.

...

Baseball bat

>light enough to swing quickly
>heavy enough to crack a skull
>easily replaceable

samurai sword nigga

there's only a finite amount of ammo in the world

Real samurai sword or the replica you bought at the mall?

Where are you going to find a katana in the post-apocalypse, you fucking weeb?

anykind of .22lr
good enough to kill slow ass moving zombies and ammo is super readily available

then an AR for other humans

I thought the zombie fad died out.

>something to cook/boil shit in, something to put over my head when it rains,
Brock, is that you?

I see what you did there

a mallet or mace, generally any one handed bludgeoning weapon, there's a reason maces were used so often in antiquity, they'd absolutely fuck your shit up and were pretty much indefinitely good to use seeing as it was just a metal rod with a weight on the end

>there's only a finite amount of ammo in the world
you're right but there is also enough ammo and reloading material that it won't be a problem

Tube sock with a D cell battery inside.

there's literally hundreds of other swords that would work better than a weapon that was considered a bitchmove last resort for hundreds of years in actual combat and is now idolized by weeaboos and the symbol of the neckbeards stigma on the internet

A tree house......fuck man, that's a great idea. I never even thought of that. They should make those in the zombie movies.

fast zombies would fuck shit up son. I don't know about you, but my city would be 90% dead in 36 hours

yeh but when like 10,000 zombies surround your tree base, they're gonna use dat dere retard strength to knock the tree over.

>Find a 2 story house
>move everything of importance upstairs
>destroy basement stairs
>open all doors on first floor
>Go upstairs
>destroy stairs to second floor
>stand on the 2nd floor landing and make a shit load of noise.
>repeat as needed

Congratulations! You have just trapped a shit load of zombies. You can now light them on fire or just leave them.

AR15 with scope.

Firepower, accuracy, and reliability made modular. The AR platform is, hands down, THE most practical gun available on the civilian market.

You want it to shoot 223? You can go ahead and shoot 223. You want it to shoot 7.62? you can make it shoot 7.62. How about 22? Because we could totally do 22.

You want it to hold a flashlight, a suppressor, a laser, a knife, a scope, and a grenade launcher, all for around 200 bucks? Heck, I'll do you one better and get them all for 150.

The AR, man. It'll shoot anything dead, in any caliber, in any size, and in any weight. Just hand someone a couple hundred dollars and you're good to go.

Ain't nothing better.

Bruh, your city would be 100% nuked in 12hours.

it would be even shorter if you are in a cold place

>not going with pic related

shotty could be my secondary as a last resort or against people, but zombies are getting the sword

if you're not dyel and find a light enough one you can swing it like a bat and clean cut through heads

An actual claymore or just a replica you bought at the mall?

You won't need zombies to kill you with the amount of crack you need to smoke to believe that nonsense.

It would dull after you cut through bone 5 times, IF you even manage to cut trough bone.

Better use a mace

They are so hich maintenance that they aren't worth it

it sounds like /k/ copypasta desu

Where are you guys finding these authentic swords?

>what are museums
just kidding i have no idea

Dude, you've been watching too much braveheart.

>implying the gym rats wont still be there lifting even if they have no knees because they collapsed from box jumping as zombos

>MFW AK-fags on damage control

No meems, son. Just straight jibber-jabber.

Ride my bicycle everywhereXf. Niggas need to get a mountain bike for the zombie 'pocalypse.
>easily outrun almost everything once fossil fuels are unavailable.
>navigate innawoods with relative ease
>silent
>easy to repair/maintain with basic tools
>full body workout riding innawoods (mostly legs though)
>bitches love wheelies, mad bike skills will help you propagate the next wave of human.

>no one claimed this yet

Fucking shameful, Veeky Forums

its definitely a meme you don't get quality accessories for that cheap

...

>Implying you don't already car one around in your car "just in case"

Embarrassing Tbh (to be honest), lads.

Okay, you're right. It'll obviously cost a bit extra to tack all that stuff on, but still.

Mil. Supps.

A cheap, decade old m203 can be bought for around 150. Everything else can be cheap, Walmart-Grade trash.

>Flashlight: 10 bucks
>Suppressor: 50 bucks
>Laser: 7 bucks
>Dagger: 20 bucks
>Scope: 35 bucks

These are all prices I see, or once saw, when I went to Walmart. Obviously they don't compare to the higher-end, Military-Grade stuff, but it's not like you're going to need a 1,000 dollar scope for the zombie apocalypse. You take what you can get.

outta my way non-explosive fucking shits