ITT: Veeky Forums in 1400 A.D

Begone peasantcel.

You may only post here if ye have courted at least 5 ladies.

use a shakespeare translator.

I'll wreck your bitch ass in the gym translates to
>i'll wrecketh thy wench rampallian in the gym

But my lord, sir user has courted at least a dozen men, and at least 4 ladies, 5 if you count fat walda, 6 if ya count a goat.

Surely you can at least hear him out, your lordship.

The feeleth at which hour no maiden

Manlets, wilt those gents ever learneth

>be tilling fields one day
>hear of big change in church
>some dude named Martin saying something different bout god n'what not
>u wot m8
>be given the holy scriptures one day
>its in my native language
>be told i don't need a priest to talk to god
>amazing revelations
>be told of local protestant meetings
>decide to go
>hear preacher curls

>mfw pic related

5 foot 5 master race reporting in

Corse dysm'rphia shall nev'r leaveth me. nay matt'r how much timeth I spendeth lifting heavy things up and putting those folk backeth down again. Nay matt'r how aesthetically big I receiveth, and mires I taketh...I shall f'rev'r beest curs'd.

600 years later and manlets STILL haven't learnt.

top kek

Doest anyone knoweth what is the limit of bodily size without the aid of magical potions?

Pictograf of no relevance to the subject.

...

Lol

NIGGER NIGGER CUNT COCK FUCKING FAGGOT

DONALD TRUMP IS GAY

>be me
>Battle of Crecy
>unit gets called
>stumble into arquebusier in front of me
>bows sweaty
>shoulders weak, mail's heavy
>vomit on my aventail already
>mum's mutton

FUCK ALL WHITE PEOPLE

FUCK USA

FUCK DONAL TRUMP

FUCK MOOT

MODS ARE GAY

FUCK ALL WHITE PEOPLE

FUCK USA

FUCK DONAL TRUMP

FUCK MOOT

MODS ARE GAY

FUCK ALL WHITE PEOPLE

FUCK USA

FUCK DONAL TRUMP

FUCK MOOT

MODS ARE GAY

FUCK ALL WHITE PEOPLE

FUCK USA

FUCK DONAL TRUMP

FUCK MOOT

MODS ARE GAY

>implicating the prowess of short statured knights
does thou even engage in combat, plebian?

Have at thee, fellow of unclear origin of birth.

Can you two shut the fuck up.

Thy is an enunch of inferior race, one of savagry

ev'r not talketh to me 'r mine own wifes son again

Can all of you shut the fuck up?

>getting this triggered from light banter
verily i have detect'd a buttmad autist

Can you stop rolepaying like a child you austimo cuck?

Woah user your such a cool guy :)

Really showing these autismo nerds on Veeky Forums :)

Agreed mineth friend of short posture. He indeed seems to be injured in his behind.

verily the same plebeianus

FUCK ALL NIGGERS

Doth a fool for he ith not I, nor we one

Dost thou even hoist?

This thread needs to be screen capped.

With what manner of speech did you address me, rake? Be informed that I was peerless among squires during my education. I have aided his majesty the king in numerous campaigns against the Saracens and I have laid low thrice fivescore opponents. I have mastered the delicate art of the night-raid and am the superlative archer in the realm. You, meanwhile, are wholly without worth. Let it be known that I will bring such artifice to your ignominious end as none have yet witnessed within the Lord’s creation. You believe you can volley such insults by way of anonymous missive? My hunters and their keen hounds have already discerned your location, so it is best you hasten preparations for the ensuing tumult, wretch, the species of tumult that will spill your life essences into the gaping maw of Hades. Perhaps if wisdom guided you to see the repercussions of your knavish harangue, you would remained silent. You were unable to do so, however, and now punishment will be exacted on you. I will excrete biliously upon you and in such bilious excretion shall you be overcome. Your time on this earth shall soon cease, peasant.

I stand 4 cubits high and weigheth 15 stone. Must I really consume 200 drachms of the flesh of beasts of the field each morn?

Doth any user know of an apothecary that chargeth less than 5 pence for magical elixirs?

>tfw swinging my longsword for training in front of the King's audience
>qt maiden princess be mirin, I'm feeling the bad humors again, my short sword clashes against my mighty codpiece
>tfw my arch nemesis, the black knight hears and asks if I can even satisfy the maiden if I don't reach the anterior cervical fornix
>Laughingknights.jpg
>Princess struggling not to laugh
>Damn wench
>I don't want to rut with a whore who likes coal-blackened armour anyway, made by inferior forging

sophisticated kek

> tfw no fair maiden

Verily, I kek'd

Please has't no fear cousin, in the acquisition of musculature, t'will beest easier for thee to findeth a fair maiden. taketh heart and payeth no heed to the
>tfw no lady

>1240
>Mongolian horse archer
>Successfully storm Kiev
>Pillaging and raping begins
>Find a qt Ukrainian maiden
>"a-are you a bowyer"
>she looks confused
>"because I have a large double recurve bow for you to examine"
>her expression goes from fear of rape to mirth
>sukhe spill forth from my quiver

I was belittled by thine youngsters, being claimed a "sick hunt". Can thee explain what this terminology indicates?

tfw forgot pic

Well said, ser user of the Four Chans

He be one who has forsaken his melancholie and joined his brethren in the hunt of glorious boar

Good sir, I am to belive they might haveth been admiring thy ill acquirence of bodily prowess.

>Middle Ages
>Not catching the Black Plague to aid in thine cut
>'Tis as if thou chooseth not to make it

be this beyond the bounds of earthly accomplishment?

By jove, I should have known!

I compliment thee for the clarifications.

Nay, for I say this is achieved steadfastly and quickly within half a harvest at the gymnasium

>tfw no vikingmode bf

Oh look ser, common folk

>Thou art me
>Thy supper is naught but cabbage stew for many a fortnight
>Thou hast just slain thy first knight
>Feeleth good gentleman
>tfw still hath no comely wench to warm thy bed
>tfw Ser Chadwick feasts upon mutton and ale daily and yet enters into carnal relations with many maidens

>cousin of mine (fifteen summers of age) exclaims "pectorials" and doth feel mine chest for 10-20 measurements of time
>asks if 't be true I've been working out
>flex armeth "you telleth me"
>"oh mine god"
>holds mine armeth as we walketh along the street with that lady cousin and her fellow maidens that day
>touches mine abs at supper
>"solid"

hearty kek my fellow ser

It's solidus. Stop ruining this rp you you cunt.

4 SCOOPS POWDERED NEWT, COME NOW!

Summer has cometh at last.

No, Sir. This knight uses potions.

Nay, tis naught but portraiture in a fair morning sun.

>Ser Chadwick

>he fell for the Black Plague hoax
>purposefully desecrating your humors with Molgol blood, whence God's plague took root
>dying a husk of a man
>a barbarian, shunned out the light of Christ
Apostate
>mfw

nay, he hath posed for his portrait immediately after a sustained and hearty jousting, and would not look as fine if he had been lounging by the barracks

Merlin's beard! The knight reads the inscribings carved on the pottery training wheel!
Great unnatural knight, prithee go

what does this have to do with fitness?

>tfw oneitis was a witch

Putrid swine, it is as clear to me as the day I struck down my first Saracen, this knight is free from any hags concoction. Any squire could amass these results within a season, lord be willing.

>Peak Mughal Era
>Join Pehlwani school
>Lift giant stones and swing maces
>Eat only ghee, Mutton and Beef
>Get Burly Boy mode
>Win numerous Kabadi tournaments

Everybody would be so fucking dyel. I would be fat

Pajeet please excuse yourself to the latrine, post haste.

Tis only thy VISAGE, MEASURE, and SCAFFOLD that maidens croon readily for.

Lol

Do not listen to this scripture, thyne author is a witch seeking to confound you into believing witchcraft is acceptable

>that facial expression ven you vill never slatra ein innocent family
>Never ransakka ein house
>Partaketh oft blood of enemy

Vhy even live mein felagi?

A moment of laxity spawns a lifetime of heresy brother. Its better for one to be chaste then to consort with the bride's of Lucifer

मैं सांप्रदायिक नामित गंदगी मार्ग का उपयोग करने के लिए जा रहा हूँ

Be gone with you pagan filth

Rate my routine, Sers!

Monday: melee training with Father's master-at-arms

Tuesday: horseriding

Wednesday: more sword and lance training

Thursday: I may rest.

Friday: wrestling with fellow squires

>training for strength
where are the deadlifts tho
2/10 enjoy your no maids

>1400 + 16
>falling for the "Black Plague is a hoax" hoax

In no relation, what would an educated man recommend to improve thy standing sit? At the current time, I seem to be stalled at lmao 2 bales.

OONGA BOONGA ROCKSTOP

> forsaking leg training
> inducted to the knighthood

choseth one, squire

paganism in Europe was nonexistent by the 1400s AD

Your humors are out of balance. Leeching might remedy your ailing.

Commenceth the blood letting

DRINK YOUR TODDY YOU DUMB INDIAN COKSUCKER

YOUR GOD IS A COW

YOU ARE NOT RELEVANT GTFO SMELLY DUMB INDIAN SCUM

If you're not at least 5'6" as a man you might as well kill yourself

>tfw 5'8" master race

Doth Ser Lute of Lordship imbibe magick potions to aide in growthe of flesh? Or doth he be clean and holy?

our allies have fallen prey to the allure of black magic.

come with me, my brothers, and let us cleanse them with our blades

>

Can you guys shut the fuck up and go somewhere else? Like /cgl/ or /mlp/?

Who /monastery/ here?
>chanting the whole day
>illuminating scripts by night
>no time for lifting
Is God the greatest gains goblin?

>what is hiding threads
>what is not responding to threads
in a thread full of historic roleplayers the only person here looking autistic is you