Hey user! I used my lunch break to make this cake for you

>Hey user! I used my lunch break to make this cake for you
>you'll eat it, right? you can cheat on your diet just this once!

Shove it down your own fat throat, Holly.

Absolutely, Holly! What a nice gesture, you didn't have to do that! Thanks.

Thank you so much Holly, it looks delicious. I spent my break thinking of ways to get in your pants-want to sugg my fuggin digg?

>you can cheat on your diet just this once!
No, I really can't.

You niggas must be borderline obese to worry about this shit.
Lay down the go mad faggots.

But I'll never be able to burn a few extra calories by spending 10 extra minutes at the gym

>6'3'' / 151 lbs
This is my diet.

that's honestly adorable, I'd eat it this time

Thanks sweetie

Is it a vegan cake Holly?

>looks great, I can eat a quarter of it now, and save the rest for throughout the week
You don't have to eat the entire thing at once when you get a dessert.

That looks fucking disgusting.

>thanks Holly and now maybe you'd like to have a taste of...
*jumps on table*
>deez nuts

kys

Holly.

Let me tell you something.

I was born in a improvised town outside of Samolia. I was constantly kidnapped by pirates and molested. I lost my virginity to the town goat, and now - after all these years, I've made something of myself. You used your lunch break to make me a cake, well - I'm going to use my lunchbreak to fuck you silly. I'm going to use that cake and smash it into your head where that pimple lies while I give you my Somalian baby, and then Holly - I will eat that cake as you cry staring at my five inch penis, and think to yourself.

>''Did I do the right thing?''

Thankfully I'm not so small that a mini cake ruins my diet.

Kek

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is it vegan? i'm a vegan, you know. i don't eat meat. and dairy. and eggs. and honey. because, well, i'm vegan. do you know about veganism? we evolved and are better human beings than all of you. because vegan is better, right? no animal cruelty! my balls are shrinking a bit and i feel sick all the time, but hey, i'm vegan. i'm better than you. murderer! do you know how many animals had to suffer for your cake? ARE YOU AWARE OF WHAT A FAILURE YOU ARE AS A HUMAN BEING? did i mention that i am a vegan? animal holocaust. hand me some seitan. i've got an appointment at my vegan healer because i've got strange stomach aches lately. maybe it's traces of meat in the air around you filthy underdeveloped meateaters.
i'm a vegan, btw.

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Autist.
This better be pasta.

homemade pasta.
i am pissed of by the vegan threads on here.

Okay, but only if you will let me put my penis in your vagina, since that's really the main reason I'm on a diet in the first place.

Sure toots, howsa about you and me knock boots after to burn them calories.

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>town goat

>you can cheat on your diet just this once!
Oh god if I had a dollar for every time I heard that I'd be a rich fat ass

I cheated on my diet today.

700 calories tuesday
1050 calories wednesday
1500 thursday
and then I was up to 1350 today and my roommate brought home pizza.

I know a pizza is about 1500 calories, but my maintenance is around 3000, so I'm still doing pretty well.

>my gf used to make me salads

fk dis thred

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What i am doing outside of my apartment?!

What the fuck are you doing

>Thanks Holly.
>Hey listen, I'm thinking about asking Becky out on a date. Is she single? What kind of stuff is she into?
>Oh gotta rush. Can't wait to eat this.

And then I go back to my office and cry as I throw it in the bin.

>I know a pizza is about 1500 calories
>A pizza is about 1500 calories
>about 1500 calories
>1500 calories

Nutrition Facts
Pizza, 14" regular crust
Amount Per 1 pizza (853 g)
Calories 2269
% Daily Value*
Total Fat 83 g 127%
Saturated fat 38 g 190%
Polyunsaturated fat 14 g
Monounsaturated fat 22 g
Trans fat 2.1 g
Cholesterol 145 mg 48%
Sodium 5100.9 mg 212%
Potassium 1467.2 mg 41%
Total Carbohydrate 284 g 94%
Dietary fiber 20 g 80%
Sugar 31 g
Protein 97 g 194%
Vitamin A 61% Vitamin C 19%
Calcium 160% Iron 117%
Vitamin D 0% Vitamin B-6 35%
Vitamin B-12 59% Magnesium 51%

M8....

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