KYS - Why am I alive still? (I should be dead)

kys op
or read diogenes and become a virtuous bum

Okay I'll read Diogenes, never have.
I helped this dude who bought a car battery at my minimum wage 16hr a week job after I got off work, spent like 3 hours driving him around and borrowing tools from my shitty job to help him. He offers to take me to an atm afterwards for my help and I said no... Walked away with ten dollars and an empty tank of gas.

Oh you'll love him, everyone loves him
>When Diogenes noticed a prostitute's son throwing rocks at crowd, Diogenes said to him "Careful, son. Don't hit your father."
That's fuckin' philosophy, m8.

None of his writings are left? Crazy that he taught Zeno, never even heard of him Diogenes really in context to Stoicism just in relation to the philosophers

who is this boner condoner

I tripped backwards once and landed my head an inch from some weights someone left on the floor. Had a nice thud , even for a matted floor. I too probably shouldn't be in this world

Freal, I fell off a rope swing when I was 11 into a ravine of rocks and trees the people who found me said if my head had landed an inch in any other direction I would've died. Head on collision when I was 17 going over 45 through a corner. Grew up working around heavy machinery, flipped a 1200lbs four wheeler on myself going down a mountain got lucky that I threw it into the mountain instead of off it. Multiple times holding the wheel while my dad drove his truck and had to answer the phone and write things down in his note pad while I hold the wheel and we're going 60 with a trailer on the truck... Not to mention all the beatings idk dude no small loan of a million dollars for me from my dad. No parents to make sure I make it like the zyzz with steroids and surgery

He comes from a general sort of "worldview" common with stoicism, but he's seen as outside. Stoics are no fun, they don't masturbate in public.

Yeah kinda an obscene and useless strategy. I like the idea of stoics and they have good lessons. But I personally prefer The Way of Musashi Miyamoto and the Five Rings. idk very similar except for their concept of honor

Top kek, you were right he's a total savage
>He destroyed the single wooden bowl he possessed on seeing a peasant boy drink from the hollow of his hands. He then exclaimed "Fool that I am, to have been carrying superfluous baggage all this time

Useless towards what end?
Pissing on someones leg is an end in and of itself.
>nip role models
You may as well kill yourself, simply because that's what they do
Y'know, it's great for ones literary career round there

Stocism, let's be great men and save the world. It's too tier autism right?

idk what stoics you're reading that figured the world was gonna be saved, that lot cared only for themselves. Epicurus only kept teaching cuz people kept giving him cheese in exchange.

True they cared about their country and people. I forget that sometimes when reading it they don't mean save everyone or be good people for the sake of others. (My extreme Christian upbringing adds personal inflection on my reading)

Try to learn a trade or a skill. That will get you work. Also life has peaks and valleys. You're going through a real valley right now but you'll climb out eventually. Go on tinder to find a girl to have sex with. Try to leverage your network for a better job. I believe things will get better for you user. Please don't kill yourself.

>hard work doesn't mean anything outside of fitness

Not true

Ty, I tried to learn how to work on cars, just got shit on by management at a minimum wage lube monkey job. Even our GM quit with no notice. Idk man it's just so low like 5 years just getting worse and worse. The only good thing during that time was weed, video games and meeting my first gf who I've been with 2 years and in that time forgotten who I am, lost multiple jobs and got an apt with one of those well paying jobs before I quit it (because it was for my dad and all we did was fight) and now finally a year later am about to move out and not live with her anymore and it's pretty terrible. I love her and have to not live with her because of how terribly I did this last year. I even cheated on her once and she still stays with me, I'm seriously not good enough for her...
I did nothing but hustle at all my shitty service jobs, didn't save me from write ups and drama. All that ever mattered was working smart not hard. That's why lazy assholes are managers. (Management would literally tell me to not work so hard)

Move to Michigan and work for me making 10$ an hour to start, you'll get moved to 13.50 after a year or so

What kind of work? I mean my GF just got hired here at $13 an hr. Not that I'm complaining about a job offer and I do want to travel some. Just a long ways to go, I'm on westcoast. Currently the plan after I move out is to go live with my brother whose offering me a room for $600 no first or last months rent and get a job in the city with all the summer jobs appearing from students leaving for summer.

>

okay ty for the input your vote has been registered

One time I got stuck underwater between two rocks. It was surprisingly soothing.

One time I had a fever of 105°

I read somewhere that you narrowly avoid death 40 times a day without even realizing it.

I don't have any debt, but I'm a neet now and I don't know what I want from life- not even a little bit. Thinking about getting a job gives me anxiety attacks. My meds don't work and I have intrusive thoughts about self mutilation. All my friends always leave me.

yeah dude, crazy how many times something almost gets you. I literally almost walked into a moving car at work a few weeks ago. I really like driving cars, and working out. What kind of work did you do before the anxiety? Self Mutilation, like cutting? I used to eat my own scabs, both my siblings cut themselves. I still don't have my own meds but adderall doesn't feel like a party drug for me :/

I self-harmed, but when I say I have intrusive thoughts about self mutilation, I mean I have fantasies of cutting my lips off or gouging my eyes out and I can't stop. It's not pleasant- the only thing that helps is to make sure I have something to distract myself with.

I have an entire apothecary of drugs that don't work for me anymore. I don't know what half of them do anymore, but I have enough quetiapin to kill a draft horse.

Pills are no fun unfortunately if you're ready to die my brother tried that way... The self harm thing sounds like shit man :/ I get really violent, I used to fantasize about tasting peoples blood while I ripped their throat out, more recently kicking their knee out from behind and stabbing their neck etc. but never myself except to just end it. And be with whatever is after it.

Factory work, you'd pack car parts and run a machine, you get to sit in a chair all day once a week to

Thanks for the offer, I can't just run away to another part of the country right now tho. I will keep it in mind though, I was out driving in my hometown the other day and was fantasizing about the american road trip, working on farms or doing oddjobs to keep traveling... Yeah doesn't work that way anymore I guess.

>not taking risks
>not living your dreams
>not jumping on opportunity

Really your life sucks? Can't imagine why

>confirmed for not making it

>not taking risks
>not living your dreams
>not jumping on opportunity

Really your life sucks? Can't imagine why

>confirmed for not making it

I owe people money here, I can't try to drive to Michigan right now... I have bills still. Maybe in a month or something I'll be able to...

That's an awful lot of "..." and Shit you got there bro, who you trying to convince bro? Me? Or yourself, google addeco, apply, specify gestamp and Mason, see if they call you for an interview, take that shit, in 5 months when everyone's payed off, you got your own money, your own place, and your makin bux you'll think back on this moment as "that time I finally got my shit together"