ITT: We laugh at our pathetic lives

i know this feel very well

the latest one said 'you're like a brother to me'

please user use some spices. please.

here's an example; cut the chicken up, put paprika, cayenne pepper and ginger on. then cover with a little bit of lemon juice. slap that shit in the pan. bam. and now you can eat that and the rice and have some sort of a life.

>finally getting fit
>been too long haven't interacted with any girl
>realize don't even have a crush or goal
>don't even have a girls number
>gains gone to wasted

I talk to her and one other dude. So, hardly, but at least there's someone.

>the curlbros can match my bench even though I've spent 4 years working on strength and they just fuck around and have fun
>it's taken me 7 years to finish a 4 year degree
>26 year old virgin, haven't had a gf since hs
>can't even hug my mum without feeling awkward
>mfw

>9/10 looks
>great aesthetics
>smart student
>looks like I can pull any bitch
>no gf
>no more friends who I talk to on the daily
>daily life is school, go home and watch anime and basketball and the occasional fap
>rinse and repeat
It's pathetic, but I'm really content with just school, anime, and sports. I go out sometimes, but only with family

>wake up
>get to the gym
>come home
>eat, fap, shower
>start shitposting
>struggle against desire to drink

>wake up at 1pm
>lift for 2 hours
>spend the rest of the day feeling like shit and browsing Veeky Forums until my eyes begin to spin
>repeat

Your problem is waiting 7 months
Meet a girl, ask her out. Don't dick around.

>wake up at 5am
>work until 4pm
>lift
>come home
>sleep

life is a grind

have a qt muslim girl who thinks we're in a relationship but im not really digging it

follow this advice if you dont want to spend the next 5 years alone and frustratred

trust me ive been there

>exams in two-three weeks
>I don't know shit
>failed and got bad grades last year
>I am not reading my ass off and preparing for my exam, instead I have spent the entire day browsing chans, reddit, news sites, facebook and other things
>going to workout soon
>gonna smoke weed afterwards and watch trash tv

Where the fuck as my drive to succeed gone?

> wake up
> lift
> work
> shitpost
> read a book
> sleep

>go clubbing with some friends
>am the most Veeky Forums out of them
>get mired
>girl actually approached me first
>hit up about 6 different chicks over the evening
>their interest always wanes after 5 - 10 minutes of talking to them and i give up and move on
>still a kissless virgin at 23

HAHA YOU CANT MAKE THIS UP
FUCKING HILARIOUS HOW DOES THIS EVEN HAPPEN

Oh sure, I'm sure that "intimidation" is not just in your head. I bet you even look them in the eye for more than a second, too.

>wake up
>browse latest released porn videos and download the ones that appeal to me
>convince myself to work out in my neet basement gym
>go back to tiny room, get baked and jerk it / play hearthstone all day
>have ZERO contact with outside world
>no will power so im constant built fat with big gut

theres no hope for me lads

"side job"
so what , you sell drugs?

>wake up
>go to work
>get back home
>eat
>play Dark Souls
>lift/run
>eat
>go to sleep
>repeat

i've made up three (3) ex gfs so my friends won't know that i'm a 22 y/o khv

whats khv?

>wake up next to Gf
>she tells me I snore too damn much again
>take out dog so he doesn't shit his pants
>have Gf inject steroids into my ass
>take oral steroids
>go lift
>come home and wanna bang Gf after shower
>"sorry I'm not chorny right meow"
>offers to give me a hand job while I fondle her
>decline and go play pillars of eternity for 7 hours straight
>go to bed when sun comes up

kissless handholdless (or hugless, take your pick lol) virgin

>wake up 6 am
>work 7am to 5pm 4 days a week
>lift after work if work wasn't a busy exhausting day
>hate my job
>only benefit is it pays well and cost of living here is dirt cheap
>hate my life
>haven't had a date or gotten laid in 9 months
>small town in Midwest so good looking girls are already taken
>spend my money on guns and ammo and the like because I feel it'll eventually make me feel better
>hardly ever shoot
>hardly have any ambition to do anything
>wish I would just get an aneurysm and die

LOL YOU CANT MAKE THIS SHIT UP, FELLAS.

kek

>haven't had sex in 1,5 years
>never had an actual boyfriend
>studies going to shit
>going to spend the fall semester abroad in exchange but I'm not even excited
>tell myself I'm a strong independent woman who needs no man
>don't cut cause there's no one to please and I'm not even fat, but sometimes abs would be noice

>abs on a girl
>noice

"no"

Kek, I've REALLY stretched the truth to girls when they ask how many girls I've had sex with or how many I've dated and how long we dated. I still left it at a pretty pathetic level but if they knew the truth I think they would have been astonished.

HAHAHA

I HAVE TO OUT MY DOG DOWN TODAY

THE ONLY THING THAT MAKES ME HAPPY IN LIFE, GONE

HAHAHA ITS EVEN BETTER THAN THE PERSON WHO AGREED TO GO ON A DATE WITH ME AND THEN HASN'T RESPONDED IN TWO DAYS

I MEAN THIS IS WORLD CLASS COMEDY

Well anyway could tone a bit, I got some cellulite on my legs, get it super easily if I'm out of shape even a bit, despite sprinting and lifting.

>tfw you are soon pass your prime as a woman
Gonna pass my fertile years and I never even managed to have a boyfriend. Just fuck my shit up. I got a pretty good career and shit, but in reality no one never even really held my hand. Now all I got left is some desperate 30yo+ men who consume too much alcohol and porn.

sorry bro

post a pic of your dog please

>wake up
>go to the computer
>login and work for 12 hours in my underwear
>stare at my weight set I'm unable to use
>stare at food in the fridge
>count down the minutes until i can go to bed

This is so sad. How old are you and where do you live?

...

He looks like a good boy

holy shit, did you choose literally the cutest pic you have?

i wish i had a dog. pic related, i'd get a collie.

>about to fail university
>literally playing video games the day before exams
>straight up don't even show up to some
>definately going to end up a NEET at this rate
K E K

lol, dont fall for that shit bro, cunt obviously still has people interested, but thinks she's above them despite rapidly nearing expiration date

Shit bro thats kawai, so sorry for the loss, and as forma the other bitch just tinder your way out of sadness.

Thanks. Great pup. Down the final hour before the appointment.

My dog loved to swim but really loved the towel after drying off.

Always so excited to get the towel.

24, Southwark.

too far away :/

I wouldn't have met you anyway you thirsty faggot.

Hit me up babe

>married
>she wants kids, I don't
>haven't been laid in months
>How the fuck is that even meant to work?
>took up lifting to try and fill the void

Hold me brehs.

>builtfat

nah you're just fat

>wake up
>go to uni and study for 8-9 hours
>lift
>go home, lay in bed and chill with gf, have sex
>shitpost on Veeky Forums and lie about laying in bed and chilling with gf and having sex
>get blackout drunk every weekend but secretly hate it but if I don't go out on weekends I feel lonely as fuck
>rinse and repeat

>>she wants kids, I don't

seems like the sort of thing to discuss before getting married.

I mean I know women in general aren't as horny as men but how can she be perfectly fine going months without fucking?

>wake up
>go to work
>get home
>eat
>go to gym or go running (before or after eating)
>get home
>listen to Michael Savage (evening, yurope)
>have a low alcohol beer
>sleep

>weekend
>wake up
>go to golf course
>get home
>eat
>go to gym or go running
>hit some friends up
>go get shitfaced
>go home alone or sometimes with a grill
>barbeque

>wake up at 5 A.M. sharp
>not even an alarm clock, my rhythm is that in tune
>look down at the beautiful lady sleeping on my chest
>easy out of bed
>put on coffee
>go to my balcony butt naked and take in the sunrise
>do 100 pushups, 100 situps, 100 pullups and 100 bodyweight squats
>drink my coffee
>feel her hands around my waist
>"good morning, my prince..." she says
>she strokes my abs
>I turn around AAAAND IT'S A DREAM

>it's 2:45 P.M.
>I woke because my butthole itches
>I lay amongst crusty sheets from months of fapping
>"maybe I'll clean my room today..."
>I won't
>I'll play LoL with 12 year olds online, eat shit, fap, sleep
>I'll even drink beer alone

I'm 25 and I live in Europe.

Nope, no one is interested in me. Other than fucking maybe baby.

L O N D O N
O
N
D
O
N

>and I'm not even fat

Are you sure about that? Be honest. Not with me, take a long hard look in the mirror and be honest with yourself.

>>I'll even drink beer alone
>>even

there's literally nothing wrong with that.

lol @ anyone replying to this troll

Europe is not very specific

monday, wednesday and friday
>wake up
>shower etc.
>eat a proper breakfast
>pack my bags
>go to the gym
>don't talk to anyone
>don't make eyecontact
>go home
>eat big
>train brain
>sleep well

every other day
>no shower
>eat little OR eat too much junk food
>stay inside
>lurk Veeky Forums

i'm not laughing

you forgot to run 10km

but user, your dream could be you if you just apply yourself :)

Yeah. I'll have one eventually so all the idiots' offspring doesn't grow up unchallenged.
Fuck if I know.

>>>/reddit/
Dogfuckers get out!

Sweden right?

pls be sweden

>monday
>lift

>rest of the week
>meh fuck it

Yes. I'm not fat, no big tummy or anything.

Denmark that is

>Denmark
0/10

Trust a dane feel the pain...

I remember you

I just met a cousin i have seen in years and
>he has a 2 years old child,
>a job
>a tech career of only two years with good salaries

while myself i'm rotting away at this fucking

>mech engineer career
>i still have 4 years of studying with literally 0 friends
>a very shitty ambient where everyone hates each other
>literally 0 woman in all the department
>and no time for jobs or hobbies so i can't search friends outside of it

my life is literally

>wake up
>talk to no one
>go to uni
>come back at home
>study for the exams of the week/lift
>sleep

fucking jews i should have never went to STEM buying this fucking productivity meme, i'm literally enslaving myself for nothing more than productivity

>living in Denmark
>not converting to Islam and marrying a refugee

now you finally see the kuffar only like you for your body

>wake up
>distract myself from the fact I want to end my life but can't because family would be devastated, also I might be too pussy but I won't know until I try, for 15 hours
>mire my aesthetics which I only achieved because I needed more distractions
>go to sleep
>repeat ad infinitum

25 and yurop myself, dicklet though
fuck that noise, fuck everything, just lift and embrace the numbness hollowing you time after time, fill holes with drugs and booze occasionally

alone, lonely, I'll overdose slowly

>wake up
>go to work
>hit the gym
>go home to my parents house
>read shitposts on Veeky Forums that give me no hope in life. 28m virgin.
>cry and then sleep

...

Where in Denmark?

>just work, lift, sleep, and play vidya
>my literal only friend is also my oneitis
>tfw she and I are absurdly compatible
>tfw she's told me more than once that I am "really handsome"
>tfw none of this matters because she's a no-exceptions lesbian

TOO HILARIOUS NOT TO BE REAL LOL

r u me

> tfw no socially anxious Adonis bf who is a masc total bottom
> mfw I'll never experience this

where do you come from?

pls don't say my name like that

Why are lesbian chicks the best? damn

Why are we like this, user?
Why is it so fucking hard to fill that void...

>get invited out
>i dont like my friends
>i dont like anyone
>i dont know the point anymore
>get fit anyway

because they're men who have baginas

Lolage in the college time to post this story

>shitposting on a Simpsons themed Facebook dating page
>some qt 3.14 grill who lifts starts replying to one of my comments
>flirt a little
>get the fabled random add
>she messages and we start back and forth in
>chit chatting
>chat chitting
>seems like a nice sort of girl
>tall slender blonde nice big eyes and very fun and raucous, got a real crude sense of humour
>tells me she's falling for me a little after like a week
>says I look so strong and handsome in my photos, she likes my voice and how chilled out and genuine I am
>she seems cool why not I'll take a shot at it
>wants me to go visit her in Manchester which is about 300 miles away
>tells me all these really dirty things she wants to do to me
>300 MILES
>sure thing why the hell not
>MAXIMUM EFFORT
>hop on a train and manage to dodge ticket conductor the entire way and get train from free (one saving grace)
>finally get there

Oh boy

>It is instantaneously clear she does not fancy me in real life whatsoever
>she's very quiet, stays on phone the entire time
>we kiss a little but I'm certain it's just for show on her part to be a good sport.
>we get into bed but she very clearly doesn't want me there
>watch TV like this for a while
>mumbles "fuck it" to herself and rolls over and gives me a really half arsed handjob looks at ceiling entire time
>can't really get hard with the sheer hatred she is exuding
>go down on her for a bit then nail her for about twenty seconds before I just lose all passion and have to fake an orgasm
>next morning take a shower
>get out of shower she tells me she got a call to tell her that her Granny had a fall and she is very very ill. Apologises and says she has to go and so do I
>she drives out of apartment complex I wait around outside for cab
>cab is late
>she drives back about ten minutes later
>make eye contact
>just Bert stares me the entire time
>check WhatsApp and Facebook
>blocked

Mfw

Are 75% of you guys NEET? How the hell do you afford to just do nothing all day?

I know that feel breh

>be me
>wake up
>(can't wake up)

R u me

GI Bill.

Not really a NEET