Yeah man, I used to lift too

>yeah man, I used to lift too
>i used to bench like 600 lbs back in my hayday

Every fat male in my office says this whenever the topic of lifting comes up

I fucking hate them

Had a guy at my last job tell me he used to clean and press over 800lbs and was dead serious. Told me a 225lb bench was "ok for your weight but I used to bench 400lbs at least"

what if they were fat strongmen and had to give it up because they need to work to make a living instead of lifting weights in their moms basement?

>yeah man, i use to be a model
>i also trained at the farm

>in my office
> the topic of lifting comes up

Do you work in a gym as a membership sales specialist and weight reracking technician?

This

Jesus, will to bet he looked like a twig

Nah in I.t.
A few coworkers my age lift

> yeah man I used to lift too
> my max bench was (your 1RM + 10)

> lifting weights is boring, just go for jogs and play sports instead

> I don't have the time to go to the gym as much as you do

>start swimming for cardio/cutting
>classmate tells me how he was regional champ in HS
>promises he will join me in the pool
>does not
>contunue cutting meanwhile
>he's asking me if im still swimming
>"heh user, i'll join you some time and beat you without breaking a sweat heh heh heh"
>has never been in the pool so far with me
>he's 23, balding and skinnyfat
>it's been 6 months now, i'm at 10% BF, he's got a small gut and is even balder
>mfw i'm going to roast him hard when we meet up on the beach in 2 weeks
>might even hit on his gf just to be a cheeky kunt

He looked like a planet.

>I used to be really into martial arts. I had a (insert color) belt.

>weight reracking technician
Gym bully masterrace reporting in. Run that bitch. I've been doing this social experiment to see who is alpha and who is beta in my gym. Turns out 99% of my gym is beta. What I'll do is I will purposely leave my weights on the bar and dumbbells on the floor after I'm done. I think I've had maybe only one or two wanna- be tough guys actually say something to me. Everyone else just deals with it. Some even rerack them for me. If this social experiment has taught me anything it's that most people are intimidated by authoritative figures and will do almost anything to avoid confrontation followed immediately by pain administrated by said authoritative figures.

>mfw I see beta dyels rerack my weights like the cockroaches they are.

>Old new guy at work who claims he was this and and that.
>Try to train him properly because my supervisor assigned me to.
>Me: "So this is the first thing you do when-"
>:Him: "I ALREADY KNOW WHAT TO DO YOUNGSTER!"
>Me: "...Ok."
>He is constantly fucking up and breaking all policies.
>He knows this but still refuses my help.
>We barely talk because he's pissing me off.
>Catch him mirin'
>Him: "You workout alot?"
>Me: "Yeah as much as I can.."
>Tell him a little about my routine.
>Him: "I use to run 10 miles everyday when I was your age went to work and partied all night too!"
>Me: "Suuuuuuuure, so why are you here?"
>Him: "...."

>Him: "You workout alot?"
Always say no.
It's hilarious.

>how much do you bench already?
>yeah? when i was your age i benched [the same weight+30kg]

I heard it twice this month.

Do you go to parks and throw trash on the ground and wait to see if someone will come pick it up and tell yourself how alpha you are?

Don't lie you're a skelly.

>just started going to the gym for 2 months
>talking to my brofessor about fitness nutrition, cause I was still learning
>mention how I finally managed 1pl8 bench
>"Hey, that's great user. Keep it up."
>two hungry skeletons who've never seen the inside of a gym from my class are giggling like they could lift more.
And that's how I stopped talking about my achievements at the gym forever.

They're doing it because they want to use the equipment you autist. Also, everybody in your gym probably hates you, and the staff are gonna be huge pricks if you ever have issues with your membership.

Source: My gym's staff are huge pricks to the "alpha" guys, yet I had an issue a while ago, and it was solved almost right away. The reason? I wasn't a dick, so they wanted to help me.

That just makes you an asshole. If I'm going to use the equipment I'm going to rearrange the weights anyway, I don't really give a fuck if you rerack them.

Fucking autist.

>Hey user, you lift?
Yeah! I'm only just getting started though!
>How much do you bench?
Only about 70 kg.
>Oh, right. Don't worry, you'll get there eventually!


This person will ALWAYS be a hungry skelly or a fatfuck, and never be able to bench more than .5 pl8.

Not realizing the skellies wanted the D. Bruh come on. No homo

>Yeah I bench 110 kgs
>was on smith machine

>Yeah I squatted around 120 kg
>he did leg press

This guy is so full of bullshit. He is the best freekick taker, has the best aerial ability and defensive prowess on our team if you ask him. Nobody shares his opinion though and everyone knows not to take him seriously, but dang. There's difference between believing in yourself and being outright delusional.

>I used to be able to run a half marathon back when I played basketball for high school
>I could've run it in about a 1:10 or so

Sure ya could've

>confusing being an obnoxious cunt with being "alpha"

Ok kid

This. Worked like a charm.
>Relatively quiet middle aged co-worker, talks shit whenever he stops being an anti-social beta, and reports people to management in these little power games
>Asks if I go to the gym, say yeah
>"I used to lift weights around your age too"
>"What do you bench?"
>Around 120kg at my peak, I used to go often, but barely make it to the gym once a week because of work and study.
>Puts them on the backfoot from the get go. >They feel they can relate, and expect to you rapidly start losing ground, and end up getting buttmad if you look the same after a few months, asking if you still go to the gym

>Yeah, that's a nice number but I could do 50 pull ups when I was your age.

Fuck you dad, you didn't even lift.

...

He probably did crossfit pull-ups.