Holy fuck, Veeky Forums

Holy fuck, Veeky Forums.

I finally had my first hamplanet encounter.

Ok?

Ok

Veeky Forums is mostly southerners so they see morbidly obese people every day.

And?

So to begin, I'm a skinny dyke and I work in retail because I'm a college dropout

So I'm stacking apples, trting to carefully put them in the right spot do the whole pile looks orderly and perfect, when suddenly it all falls down.

What was that tremor? Could it be a long-awaited earthquake? Should I duck and cover?

And, you know how it goes, of course it's not a fucking earthquake. I see the fattest chick my age I've EVER seen, and son, I've been to the south.

So she's with her mom (normal lady, but chubby though) with her flannel on and every time she talks to her mom I'm reminded of why the "fat people voice" is such a stereotype. It just sounds like "wub wub" every time she speaks.

And my gaydar's pinging for this chick, and I see the way she glances at me. Veeky Forums, have you ever been stared at by a hungry, hungry hippo? That's a bit what it felt like.

Anyway, I'm not looking up. I am trying to do my god damned job. The one they pay me so highly for (they don't). And I see her pull out her phone, right? She kinda preens a little and moves the phone around like she's taking a selfie...

This thread is terrible