Fidelity

Veeky Forums how the fuck do you go through life without cheating on your Wife.

I love my girlfriend but how do you make it through your 30s and 40s and avoid having sex with other girls. Especially after your wife has kids and you're still sexy as fuck while she's failing to lose the baby weight

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researchgate.net/publication/5964280_Matching_in_Sexual_Experience_for_Married_Cohabitating_and_Dating_Couples
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1) Family life lowers testosterone levels in men, so it's likely you'll have less of an urge and you might even get a bit pudgy.
2) You have morals.
3) You don't want to fuck up your family or your kid(s).
4) You love her.

Fuck plenty while you're young. cannot stress this enough. the lack of various women under your belt is a factor to infidelity . you wonder what one kind of woman feels like and fucks like. if you've fucked several and got all of your desires out of the way, the temptation decreases immensely.

you do it now so you don't feel like you missed out when you actually get married senpai

This, and If that's not enough maybe find someone who is into open relationships to marry.

But doesn't this sound just like the bullshit rhetoric that's fed to all those carousel whores? How can I maintain any level of integrity if I do not practice what I preach, "lock and key" or "Mars and Venus" arguments aside?

bump because interesting thread

Sleeping with as many women as possible is literally what being a mans all about

Here are some of your options
A. Be comfortable marrying someone with a similar sex behavior to you
B. Be comfortable with the fact that you have different standards for the women you want to date/marry
C. Pretend that you're ok with the same standards for women but coincidentally turn down any woman with a similar partner counts and then settle with a much lower partner count woman

Personally I recommend A or B, but a lot of people are most comfortable lying to themselves .

Is it? It seems strange to define one's self-worth in terms of the number of women one has laid. I thought we were all about achievement, self-actualization, and being the best version of ourselves possible? Does that include having lots of sex with lots of different women? Does it preclude it?

At risk of sounding like a faggot, this shit keeps me up at night.

What about just not getting married if you feel you're that kind of guy?

Can't stop won't stop,

I pack arenas and coliseums, now watch me shred

what if you were hardcore nerd shut-in during your early/mid 20's though...

not op but i've only ever been with my current gf of 2 years but i feel like i won't be able to resist the temptation at some point

also (and this is some fucked up reasoning but stay with me) i feel like i "deserve" to cheat on my partner since "life" has cucked me over when i was younger... anyone else get this?

You don't. Just get a nice side piece in another city and keep it low key. Don't go having babies or getting too emotional with the side bitch, just fuck her every now and then. Either that or you can always fuck prostitutes off backpage or go to a strip club where the girls will let you fuck for a small fee.

Sadly our society doesn't allow men to marry multiple women so you'll just have to marry your main bitch and fuck side bitches for the rest of your life. Don't let these cucks talk you into only fucking one chick for the rest of your life.

>falling for the marriage meme

I dated the first girl I slept with from ages 18 to 22. I wanted to sleep with other girls. I broke up with her. It's not fair to her.

Girls should legitimately be concerned about starting relationships with guys who are virgins, especially guys who were late social bloomers, because of this.

I just don't wanna get the herpes

>marriage
>kids

You already ruined your life, just accept your fate.

Sounds like you don't love your GF bro.

>seems strange to define one's self-wroth in terms of the number of women one has laid?
Right, so how do you feel about a woman sleeping with more than 8 guys?
It's a double standards situation.

Huh? IMO, a woman sleeping with more than 8 men is worth less (not worthless) as is a man sleeping with more than 8 women. To me, that's not a double standard but maybe you're trying to highlight the idea that I'm still placing some kind of value on a person based on the number of sexual partners that person has had?

Not him but that sounds absolutely crazy to me. I think the average in my not particularly social friend group is 8.

I exclusively measure my self worth by the number of women I sleep with. Nothing else. Job? Money? Hobbies? Weight? None of em. So many jobs out there they all just seem the same; every single dollar looks exactly like the other one; Pinterest lets me look like I have 1000 hobbies all the time anyway; amputation/starvation.

But women. you got broads, sluts, whores, prostitutes, bitches, hoes, nuns, tricks, Dick sleeves, everything. Your cup runneth over with opportunity.

Shit man this makes me want to seduce a nun.

Don't put the pussy on a pedestal bruh

Are you me?

How old are you m8? My group is pretty social, half of them are virgins, the ones that are not virgins have had 1 or 2 different girls except one who has had six.
All 20-22 btw.

27

Mind you I'm from no-where in Appalachia where marrying in your mid-20's is late, so my experience is skewed.

Eh, i've heard the opposite.
Males and females who has had more partners tend to cheat.
researchgate.net/publication/5964280_Matching_in_Sexual_Experience_for_Married_Cohabitating_and_Dating_Couples
"A higher discrepancy between men's and women's number of previous intercourse partners was related to lower levels of love, satisfaction, and commitment in the relationship."

That study says that if you marry a virgin your marriage will be 4 times more likely to suceed tha if your partner has had 20 or more partners.
There are also studies that shows that people who has had more partners get a reduced production of dopamine when meeting and having sex with a new partner, meaning they will be less attached and less attracted to you.

You decide you don't want to cheat. Then you keep to that decision.

It's just like diet, exercise, or any other goddamn thing that takes the slightest bit of willpower.

I got this back when it actually meant something, and now I'm giving it to you.

Any studies I've seen is basically virgins and people with a good amount of partners are similar in behavior, while people with just a few are high risk and people with a very large amount (think 15+) is the highest risk.

You sound like a self entitled douche. Life didn't make you a shut in loser; you did. This world doesn't owe you shit. If you cheat on your wife it is because you choose to. You haven't earned it by previously being a good boy.

By not being a fucking degenerate lowlife

Lol im a serial cheater

Be a man about it, a man's word is his bond.
Or maybe I'm just old fashioned.

It has the potential to destroy your family's lives. Poor little Timmy wants to know why he can't spend Christmas with Daddy and why Mommy spends all her time crying in bed. Why would you do that to little Timmy, OP, why?

This guy gets it. Don't be a fucking cunt.

By actually valuing your integrity, I. E. The entire point of marriage.

Both my wife and I are in our late 30s. OF COURSE I look at a fit 24yo and would fuck her brains out(and I have had ample opportunity) . But I don't, because :

1. My wife and I are a solid partnership. The value of having a trustworthy, capable, and loyal 'copilot' can't be understated. I am this to her also. Key words : trustworthy, loyal.

2. I have integrity. I made a choice to get married, knowing what that entails. I will keep my promise out of respect for myself, and the value of my word, as much as for respect for my wife.

>I love my girlfriend but how do you make it through your 30s and 40s and avoid having sex with other girls.

If your wife is based and is still attractive by your standards, then it's very easy. It's only a problem when your wife lets herself go, doesn't help out, becomes annoying as a person, and doesn't satisfy you emotionally and physically.

jesus fucking christ i hope your poor fucking sons don't ever read this pile of trite literal white knight bullshit you collosal aspie cunt. normally there would be an argument here but I honestly can't even be bothered because you sound like the kind of person who would describe himself as "stalwart"

>This, and If that's not enough maybe find someone who is into open relationships to marry.
delete this

somebody is guilty of being a low morally integral cuck

Perhaps it's something to do with the fact that she carried around your offspring for 9 months, put up with all the discomfort of that and then had her vagina ruined by your mutant progeny.

So yeah I'd say your spouse probably deserves a little bit of fidelity.

Mind you judging by your whiney tone she's better off without you.

>2016
>marrying

either:

enjoy getting divorce raped and ruining your family

or

enjoy dying alone

>low morally integral cuck
>LaughingWhores.jpg

just saying, i'm the one without a wife here

>implying marriage is some kind of goal that people should strive to attain
>2016
>i'm sorry for your mental deficiency

No kids. Vasectomy.

Amerifats are fucking weird.

I slept with 8 girls in my first year of university and that was a pretty normal number in my social circle. Actually slightly low for those w/o a long term gf

ive been cheated on before by a oneitis and it's fucking testicular cancer

no matter how much i hate someone, i'd rather shoot them than let them feel like that

>Veeky Forums how the fuck do you go through life without cheating on your Wife.
It's easy: Realize that all women are just assholes and trouble and be thankful you only have to deal with one.

Most of the girls I've met in uni have had sex with 1 or 2 different guys and most guys either were virgins, had a long term girlfriend since highschool, or had a shit ton. Most people seem to have no sex or all the sex, not many moderates in college I've met.

I can back this up a little bit actually.

Now I'm not humblebragging I'm going to be straight. I've fucked a lot of women. All shapes and sizes. From 5s to 9s. I'm not 100% sure on the figures. I had a list but I lost it. Last time i looked at it I was on 59 and I've definitely fucked a few since then.


Okay so here's the thing. I'm now bored of it. I've done every sexually deviant thing I can dream up. From the rusty trombone to the Austrian Undersling, from the Cave Explorer the anal chainsaw massacre.

Usually we pretty much fuck after date one or two. So I'm bored of all that small talk and chit chatting. I can pretty much reel off everything she wants to hear with my eyes closed now it's all so formulaic and boring.

"What do you do where do you want to go how do you feel about X where were you when Y" blah blah blah

Roght now I'm looking to settle down. I genuinely am. I've met an absolute sweetheart who is very obviously quite virginial and that is perfect for me. I'm getting a bit older now and I've realised I really just want a woman to have conversation with rather than just sit on my face all night. I want someone to challenge me and make me laugh and sometimes make me mad.

I dunno just my two cents. I want to make love to someone's soul now rather than just cheap escapism sex

masturbation

Also forgot to add I think it's because there is no big club culture here and since America is such a huge place you have the entire midwest where you are lucky to be in a larger city. The city I go to uni in has a few bars and a skanky af bowling alley, the only place to get lowed when you're young is house parties.

then why the fuck are you bothering being married? I genuinely don't understand, but thank you for taking one more landmine of a woman out of the breeding pool for me

or just enjoy knowing that one day she will get the urge to have children and at a minimum resent you, more likely leave you

you know the only person I can blame in this case? it's you, for having a oneitis in the first place. be a fucking man and stop assigning so much value to anyone except yourself.

let me be clear, I am in no way advocating shitting on other people for your own benefit. but ensuring that your own happiness comes from within instead of without is so much more important than measuring up to some joke of a societal standard around being "committed"

I've slept with 60+ women
I was dating a girl who was on around 59

Was quite an interesting match to say the least. We're still actually really close and meet up every now and then and have a really great time.

i am somewhat like you. however, i fail to understand why having someone you can have an indepth conversation with has to be to the exclusion of more sexual encounters.

I've reached the point of boredom with the interactions leading to sex as well - formulaic is the perfect word. but i've also had formulaic relationship sex and that shit is unbelievably worse.

8 isn't a lot, it averages out to just over 1 a month for the time i was there. Bearing in mind I was a nerdy biochemist who played fuck tonnes of video games and hadn't discovered the gym last year either.

I think you guys have this jock culture or some shit where unless you're in the 'in' crowd girls don't find you attractive. I maintain my point, amerifats are weird

I guess I live in a student city but still, just seems bizarre

my first bf was a virgin until nearly 21. i had only fucked one time before him so I felt comfortable with the lack of experience.

dated 2.5 years and he left as soon as he thought he had a chance with someone else. broke my heart. he wrote a really long horrible rant about how he was such a Nice Guy on fb because the girl he left me for rejected him.

years later he cheated on his new gf with me and saw how easy and simple it was. moved on to m4m and getting his ass rekt. he married her then had a kid with her in under two years.

poor girl chubby with baby weight, probably never gonna lose it. getting used as a beard. never deal with losers with low body counts who think the greatest thing in life is shooting a load with a different person.

Because we work well together. We have similar outlooks on life, but vastly different interests.
Because I went through 27 women who were basically identical in their vapidness.
Because we both have fulfilling and financially rewarding careers, which involve in-demand skills, which have allowed us to live and work in various countries around the world.

Also, if she's going to get the baby rabies, she'd better do it quick. Not much time left.

I'm not sure either. I don't think what I'm saying applies to everyone I just mean for myself it's getting a little long in the tooth. I'm sort of hoping that maybe one day I'll end up with the girl I mention here sure she's got high numbers but we both said we'd just have an open relationship and that is actually something that's fine by me.
Tell me about it brother. I think formulaic relationship sex is just a recipe for cheating. If you're not delivering the goods then don't expect a man or woman to not go browsing elsewhere .

My ex was unbelievable for this. Every single time it was "go down on me, okay now fuck me, okay now get off me" rinse and repeat. I tried literally everything I could to spice it up. In the end you just take it personally and go fuck other people.

guten tag user, mind explaining more about these formulas? :D

Same guy you are replying too and guess what? I'm a nerdy geochemist who plays videogames and didn't discover the gym until last year.
I have literally only met one person in STEM here that gets laid frequently, and a lot of guys in the sciences are actually non-autistic and at least average looking.

The only way to get laid in a town like mine is either be in a frat or get into tinder I guess. That's not even saltiness, I know a bunch of above average dudes who get nothing because there is nothing around here, not too much of a party culture.

You fuck one person enough times you get bored. Happens to everyone

Breh

That is perfectly fine if you aren't in a relationship.

feel that. its like ok you start on top and then we can go on our side and then we can finish doggy. ok now im going to go have a shower and make sure you don't get your dick on the sheets.

outside of relationships all i've ever had was like oh you have to go to work? let me make you cum first. all over my tits? sure. sex? great, choke the shit out of me, slap me, i'll claw your back until you bleed and then i'll leave in the morning and you can go shoot hoops with your friends it's all good.

relationships are just gradually worsening sex and gradually more intensive "why don't you value me more than every other thing in your life"

Well cheating on your partners not illegal.
Its really betwee the two of you

Urrmmmmm I'm not sure what you mean?

I suppose if you looked through every conversation on my tinder or my texts they'd all look very similar and a pattern would emerge. Mainly because I'm just trying to get deep throated until my worries go away.

Usually I just drip feed them information about me and subtly mention things like it's not big deal but I know they'll be impressed by. Like I used to be a professional chef (women like to be cooked for) I work in Demolition and travel a lot (perceived manly job and is a bit different from the usual) I'm interested in poetry and literature (makes me seem soulful) etc.


Now I'm just looking for a woman who will genuinely look at me with affection and love even after they find out the really nasty stuff about me. Because all that nice guy soulful interesting image is a facade. It's part of me but it's just the wrapping on the present.

I know right....have more.

I know I know but I wish it wasn't so .

Oh boyo those feels.

Did you ever get to the point where you thought "actually I wouldn't mind a cuddle after what a girl I'm turning into". Cause mine would just hop off and be like "right I got stuff to doooo".

I cheated on her with this girl like you described and after like two years of the most vanilla stuff I think of forgotten what hot n nasty was. The bit on the side pulled off my boxers gave a great big gasp and spat all over my cock before taking it and I just remember thinking "fuck I feel like a man again"

Reckon it's possible to keep a woman in that zone til you're like 80?

Generally speaking, a man is only as loyal as his options.

If your wife seems like the best option, you'll do right by her. If she repeatedly seems not to be, you'll probably fuck one of the other ones.

Good luck bro.

ha gayyyyyy

>how can i maintain integrity
You dont, or you find a virgin

Hey. I've had a few serious relationships.

The last one was the most serious (but not the longest), it lasted 5 years.
It was a co-dependent toxic as fuck relationship between a girl with BLPD and a guy (me) with a whole plethora of issues.

You wouldn't know this to look at us. Everyone assumed we were super happy in our relationship. I was a semi pro athlete, she took interest in my sports and training and took to it too, we both had masters degrees and we both had very good jobs, etc.

When we were / are single. We excel, but in relationships we're pretty bad.

In the 5 years I probably cheated on her 50 times. All 1 night stands or internet hook ups. All worthless, all worse than her, all less hot than her (to me), all forgetable. In fact, I either can't remember, or never knew the names of most of them.

In any event, I cheated because it temproarily refueled me for the very exhausting relationship. Now without getting all bawwww bout it. When I was young I was abused, I went off on a tragectory that wasn't really mine. To everyone else I had a solid identity, to me, I didn't but didn't even know it. I've been in counselling / therapy for 3 years now. Essential stuff. Anyone who doesn't do it is the emotional / intellectual equivelent of a fat fuck who never went into the gym, or worse, a skinny person who never needs to go to the gym... pure self delusion.

Now, regards OPs perdicament. Here's what I know. I wish I had abandoned the relationship at many stages - before it even began. But at least I should have abandoned it when I felt like cheating.

Now, maybe she's perfect, and maybe the relationship is perfect... well if that's the case, you're the problem, get out, get into therapy, become a man.

If she's the problem, get out, get into a new, better life, then a new better relationship.

But if you're cheating it's because you're fucked. Sort yourself out.

But the first thing you need to do, is read the book The Little Prince.

My gf of 4 years would always prefer to cuddle. Id be the one whod rather do something else.
But then again shes totally not spontaneous. She will only have sex after showering, she puts in her clothes straight away after sex and is never open to a quickie

At least you can cheat.
My wife wants to leave me, she comes home late every night. Im probably getting cucked, but she denies it. We havent fucked in over a month.
Im currently trying to fuck other girls but i cant

Yeah that's what all my friends say too.

When the last relationship ended I've tried to be celebate. I lasted a week. Then 2. Then 6. Then maybe 1. But over the course of a year and a half I've managed to break some seriously toxic cycles.

I 'can' cheat, and now that I'm single I can pull women all the time. But it's worthless and self destructive. The amount of healing I've been doing, instead of distracting myself with pussy (and specifically the gratification that brings) is amazing.

Dunno dude. When I was at my most toxic I was a regular 'bull'. I hated couples, I hated little faggot ass bitch bois who never could satisfy a woman, blah blah blah. I was a prick, and jsut as toxic and misguided as them.

>wow so much sex such destructive
Am i supposed to even understand this?

Fuuuuuck. Underrated as hell.

It's not sex, doe.

It's the gratification through sexual imbalance.
It's about normalising an abusive dynamic.
It's like addiciton to things - (substance abuse disorder for exampel - "3.Spending a lot of time obtaining the opioid... 4. Repeatedly unable to carry out major obligations at work, school, or home due to opioid use 5. Continued use despite persistent or recurring social or interpersonal problems caused or made worse by opioid use
6. Stopping or reducing important social, occupational, or recreational activities due to opioid use 7. Recurrent use of opioids in physically hazardous situations"

I've had that same relationship with sex. Cheating is postentially dangerous in many ways, fucking other dude's wives and girlfriends is potentially dangerous... doing this that is basically mean, often, and having no remorse (and further compartmentalising that remorse or guilt) is all pretty damaging to the psyche.

Honestly, I've never felt more balanced and content as I have by cutting down on all that bad fucking.

I'm not saying its impossible to have loads of sex in a healthy and positive way... quite the opposite... just that I can't, so I'll keep working on myself until I can.

Sex is like crossfit - it's going to fuck up most people if they do to much.

and then you turn 15 and realize they all taste the same. your measurement of self-worth is retarded.

Why does she want to leave you?

Ruined any relationships that way?

I don't even understand how you know the girls are with someone if it's a one night stand. It's hard to believe that people would tell that shit desu.

And I mean personal relationships as well.

Well more often than not, in those cases it's an internet hook up.

I even placed an add on craigslist years ago called 'Good enough to cheat?'. Easily the most successful add I ever placed. Suddenly all these women came out of the woodwork.

Then there's the couples who I've cucked.

And then there's random bitches who would say it to me early in the evening and it would develop, or worse, they'd say it afterwards. Worst of all was going back to a chick's place only to see her scrabble around trying to remove evidence of a boyfriend.

I'm now completely sickened by these people. I can't even look at my old profile on hook up sites, or worse, see bitches profiles. They make me fucking sick.

Sorry, should have answered this too...

Do you mean 'have I ruined any relationships of the girls I've been with?'. I don't really know. I tend to not speak to these women ever again. haha.

Ruined any relationships with my personal friends, or grlfriends?

Re: my own girlfriend relationships, no. They were ruined before I cheated - but I stayed in them, kept limping along in abusive relationships use casual or annonymous sex as a crutch.

Regards personal relationships, like fucking friends? I've fucked a few, but not in a 'cheating' scenario. I tend to stay friends with those girls. I tend to fuck them twice actaully. That's my pattern. But that's when I'm single. The only thing I've done is kiss a few friends when they were in relationships. I don't do that kinda stuff anymore.

Going on lunch. I'll answer whatever else later.

We never see each other.
She works 9-5 weekdays i work 1-midnight and weekends.

why would you get bored of fucking a girl you really like when you wouldn't get bored of jerking off with your hand fucking idiots

I hear you, but I was a virgin until 21. I wanted to marry this girl. I didn't care too much about her in the beginning but then it started to turn into something. I started caring about her and what she was doing (going out, being interested who she was with) and started acting up. She lost interest almost immediately. But I loved her and couldn't even fucking FAP to other girls, or if I did I would always close my eyes and picture her face, it was that bad.

But one thing was for sure: I fucking worshiped her.

What I'm trying to say is low partner count, at least in my case, doesn't account for being an asshole.

yeah i did. desu though more often than not it was this fucked up dynamic where we would fuck, she'd throw the towel at me and make me wipe my dick on it, go clean herself up then come back and want me to give her a back rub without my dick touching her. what the actual fuck is the point

there is no feeling in the world like having sex with a girl who completely loses it and actually lets herself enjoy being dirty. the gasps, the spitting, the slapping, the fuck me harders, the eyes rolling back in the head. that shit all fades away as soon as they think you're going to judge them for it which inevitably happens in relationships.

honestly man i don't think it's possible. they lose the fire as soon as they settle for someone and it's gone forever. if they have even an inkling that they might do something you find "weird" they just stop doing anything even close to out there. that's why the chase is so fun, most girls will do anything to keep up with someone who likes "dirty" shit

This seems kinda fake desu. I. San it just doesn't seem realistic. I see you getting fodder before this.

Just make some specific you time together in the week then...

>specific time in the week
Like at 3am?

Fuck off slut enabler.

The main thing is knowing the court favors the woman. You'll be fucked financially, if you have kids you'll be fucked even harder unless she's a known drug abuser.

Literally first world white man problems

Idk. By weekends do you mean at day or night? And When's the last time you fucked?