Crimean War

What the fuck were Britain and France thinking?
>dude let’s side with the Turks and declare war on Russia even though we have nothing to gain from this lmao
>dude let’s just land on beaches and not try to take any ports-cities lmao
>dude let’s just hold up in our captured cities for a year while our men drop like flies from disease and not actually fight the Russians lmao
Seriously what the fuck was going on?

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Not answering your question but here's an Irish folk song about an Irish farmer press ganged into the British army and sent to the Crimea

youtu.be/osSO_T3X6zw

Propping up a weak Turkish Empire > Letting fucking Ivan having a port and allowing him into the Mediterranean.

Britain had A LOT to gain by keeping Russia penned in their freezing shitty harbors.

"Muh great game"

Just another eternal Angl*sm, nothing new

Couldn't they have joined the Russian side, given Constantinople to the Greeks and seized Cyprus and the middle East?

Stop posting and go read a book

No you do it name fag.

>prime age of sail ships of the line
>going toe-to-toe with steam-powered, exploding-shell ironclads
>first salvo burning up beautiful ships while they bounce off of you

I really wish there was better reading material like a Bernard Cornwell novel on it.

>couldn't they just have joined the war and invalidated Russia's strategic goals?
lol they'd have ended up at war with russia anyways with this line of thinking.
Really now, how do you expect this going down at a peace conference?

Nobody was in the side of Russia. That was a big diplomatic fail by the Russians.

Maybe they should have put more effort in calling the Austrians to their side. And maybe the Austrians should have listened to that call.

A solid Russian-Austrian alliance would have had major impact not only on Crimea but in the Italian unification wars and the conformation of Germany.

Funny the Austrians were alone too when their turn came.

Ah, the goyim...they never learn.

>Bernard Cornwell
>good

I lel @ you

>Maybe they should have put more effort in calling the Austrians to their side
Like saving their empire wasn't enough.

Balance of power, brah.

>let's just allow this manpower leviathan bent on expansion and on a Mission from God to conquer a piece of land that will allow them to launch another offensive on Dardaneles and Bosphor, linking with Greece and Serbia thus permitting them to create an ultrapowerful Orthodox supernation that will threaten our position in the Mediteranean and possibly conquer Jerusalem thus giving them a claim as defenders of the Christian fate and possible expansion towards the Red Sea and beyond in 50 years because internet NEETs 6 generations from now don't like Muslims

Exactly, Russia had been the dominant force in europe since the napoleonic wars. This was the final line for FR and UK

The eventual conquest of Constantinople and the Orthodox and Caucasus Eastern/Oriental orthodox nationalities(Bulgarians, Romanians, Greeks, Albanians, Armenians, Pontic Greeks), plus the alliance with Greece and Serbia would have turned Russia into a powerhouse akin to Charles V's empire and more. If that actually happened I doubt Austria would have survived much longer. Having a claim on both Orthodoxy and Panslavism meant the Western powers would have been utterly defenseless against such a leviathan. Imagine Russia squaring it with Japan using the Crimea-Aegean-Aqaba line of transport and communication.

they were fighting over future nude beaches, user. if you cant see the benefit of young women getting their tits out for the lads, youve missed the plot.

I forgot to mention: there were(and still are up to a point) large Christian minorities in the Middle East. Lebanon, Syria, Transjordan and parts of Irak had upwards 20% Christian population, even more in some areas. A large Christian-oriented nation like Russia would have likely propped them up as keepers of the peace and administration in the area, along with forced conversions and ideologic messianism. Then the oil boom hits. So you got Romania, Caucasus and Kurdistan as major oil exporters by 1910. Had the Crimean war not happened, Russia, barring an unforeseen succession or economic crisis, would have become borderline hegemonic.

LADS LADS LADS
youtube.com/watch?v=xfXBVNuBAjo

Had the Russian taken over Constantinople, Austria wad the next to go. You had the Poles, Croatians, Czechs, Slovenians and Slovaks as slavs(fair game for Panslavic movements) and the Romanians, Serbians, Ukrainians and Bosniaks as Orthodox(fair game for the messianic defenders of the cross). By 1900 Russia would have gained a major foothold in Central Europe using puppet states propped up by militarism. Austria had every reason to oppose Russia.

boys with toys

feckless/powerless monarch

> how do you expect this going down at a peace conference?
While the Russians are busy in Crimea, the French and British "liberate" Constantinople and give it to the Greeks.
At the peace conference if Russia has the audacity to ask for land that are not theirs by right of conquest or by the nationality of its people, tell them "j'y suis j'y reste" and that the british, French and Austrian empire (according to their interests) guarantee the independence of the Greek state.

balance of power you retard. also saving the turks meant they'd be pliable to their interests while russians would naturally be competitors

t. EU IV player

For centuries, we used to empty our prison populations into our armies, then send them abroad (hopefully never to come back) as a form of social cleansing. If there are no good wars to send them to, we had to invent one or we would have had to start building more and more prisons at home to keep them in.

Both ignorant, stupid and with a hint of conspiratard. You're the whole package user.

The Jews were pulling their strings

>You had the Poles, Croatians, Czechs, Slovenians and Slovaks as slavs
Poles hated russians even more than austrians. And if russians really wanted to play panslavic card they wouldn't help austrians suppress slavic rebellions.

Realpolitik means that one time you support a guy and one time you stab him in the asshole. The Russkies would have taken over the Orthodox Balkans either way.

>we want to unite all slavs, so let's kill all those slavic nationalists
It's more like "shooting yourself in the foot" kind of move.

>Poles hated russians even more than austrians
this is literally just a meme H*bsburgs tell themselves to sleep.
We hated A-H because they used Kikes to Germanize population in Galicia

>We hated A-H
I never claim the opposite. They just hated russians even more.

>le russia is gonna cum and suddenly every slav and orthodox country is going to become their puppet desu

Not even Serbia went insurgent mode against the Ottomans during the Crimean War. Not even them.

Plus Russia and Austria had a more realistic bond in the principles of the Saint Alliance, which included Russia helping out Austria in putting down internal rebelions. Pan-slavism, for Russia, meant hitting the Turks, grab clay and keep poles, ruthenians, galitzians and ukrainians well cucked.

Yeah well, the 1877 war was the true test: Romania intervened the second the Russians were in trouble and the Bulgarians revolted. A direct attack on Constantinople likely meant all orthodox would seize the moment and rebel. The Crimean war was localized and a preambul to the final push towards the Straits.

>Slavs are all russians we just need to tell them that first so they'll stop this independence-meme

>t. brainlet whose dont know anything about panslavizm

Who do you quote?

Pretty much. The whole pan-slavism meme was just the ideological propaganda part accompanying the strategic target of capturing Constantinople.

It was directed against the Ottoman Empire, not against Austria. A lot of people fell for that propaganda bs back then though.

thank you for killing slav(e) subhumans white subhumans.

Yeah well, Orthodox peoples didn't exactly have it good in either Austria or Turkey so Russia was seen as a solution. I don't doubt the Russians would have taken in the aristocracy like they did the Bagrations, all the while exploiting the serfs and the minoritary urbanites of the Balkans and the East. Actually conquering the straits was their objective and, to a point, raison d'etre. Turning the Black Sea into a Mare Nostrum would have turned them into a superpower. Industrialization would have followed soon.