User, why are you working out so much? Do you have a girlfriend you're not telling me about?

>user, why are you working out so much? Do you have a girlfriend you're not telling me about?

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Dumped

EVA NOTTY
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What the fuck since when did Eva natty get huge ass implants

suddenly i want to hug the fuck out of her and take a nap on her chest, that shit looks comfy af

M-mommy?
I don't know, but can we all take a step back and appreciate where modern technology has gotten us? A decade ago, implants looked like damn beachballs. Those implants in the OP pic look damn near like natural saggers.

>Mfw Eva notty escorts in Las vegas
>1200 USD per hour

Brehs I want to do it just for the novelty of having fucked Eva

SOURCE OR STFU

yeah faggot gonna need a source

It's on her website
www.mynottyeva.com/m/schedule/

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> girl

thanks user. I wonder how much extra it would cost to let you raw dog her. I can't stand condoms.

>"Who are you? Why are you in my house? WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP CALLING ME 'user'?"

Hey man, before you go spending 1200 dollars in a single fucking hour to stick your little wee wee in this loose tramp, rub one out first. That's all its gonna take to come to your senses.

m.reddit.com/r/Hookers/comments/4jisbn/well_i_just_had_sex_with_eva_notty/

This.

I do this before I ever make any major decision involving a woman.

I would gladly pay more to bust a nut inside her

Great advice sadly

same, it's about the only way I can get off these days

I don't see how people do escorts. They literally are probably worse than the average nightwalker considering people from all over the world fly them out to take shits on them and fuck them bareback. They probably have all kinds of germs crawling in them. At least the local meth heads would only have the local diseases.

Could possibly just be weight gain

She is one of the very few pornstars with an actually attractive face

I like big tits, but those are a big too big, methinks.

>bust a nut inside
>she's on birth control
What's the point? You might as well put up some more money and pay her to skip her birth control for a couple weeks in advance.

>any female relative
>"You're so handsome user, I bet the ladies are all over you"

>No fucking Eva raw and busting a big nut 4 u inside her
>Not videotaping it and posting it on Veeky Forums

What other milf pornstars would you guys fuck?

>wanting to get her pregnant
The fuck? I don't want to have a kid with her, I just want to creampie her because it feel 100000x better

Fucking an escort raw

You serious

ava addams. my god.

>tattoo

>implying the risk doesn't make it hotter
Literally just grow a goatee before you meet her and give a fake name. It'll work, trust me.

Why not just go to the local Asian massage parlor and bust inside of them?

>not creating premium-tier children with a high-class escort

>implying creampieing random tinder sloots and never meeting them again isn't the superior option
It's like you guys don't want to be great.

To fuck you harder

All i get on tinder are bots.
>tfw no HEIGHT FACE FRAME

>TFW asian girls at massage parlors won't give me full service because my dick is too big

It's only 8in. but since the girls are kinda small it looks even bigger.
Pretty much have to see regular escorts if I want to fuck.

>hear about how great tinder is for casual fucking
>get nothing but bots after i signed up

who the hell is having any success on there??

I know that feel. Just bring lube. It works for me like 50 percent of the time.

Nobody now. Tinder was only actually useful back in like 2013/14. Now its just a hotbed for bots, and sexually frustrated people who just want to be told they're pretty instead of actually hook up.

nah dude I would turn into a 14 year old kid with joy if I could fuck my favorite pornstars. I'm a well-off software entrepreneur so it's not like I really NEED the money. Might as well bust as many nuts as possible while I'm still young with some high quality pornstar pussy.

>high quality
>pornstar pussy

They have lube.
They just don't trust that I'll be gentile with them.
I've even seen the same girl three times but she refuses to fuck.

lol have you ever fucked a virgin before? It's terrible. I want a girl who knows what she's doing.

>fucking a prostitute raw
I would say "enjoy your AIDS" here, but this is literally how you get AIDS

lol if you're gonna be a little naggy bitch go back to /r9k/ I don't need a fucking lecture bro

Lel opposite for me
>Stepdad: Hey, have you been lifting weights? You look different, more buff
>Mom: What are you talking about, he looks the same

t-thanks

i want to taste her spit

Is bumble the next big dating app?
most of the chicks are hot but no matches so far

Step-dad is trying to get your love.
Mom is trying to tell u to give up your natty card

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MEETME
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meetme is for trailer trash. I fucked 5 girls off of there and not a single chick on that site is even remotely over a 7/10

that place attracts trainwrecks man

Hey bro would you give me 50 bucks

Truth but it's easy lays

I personally use PoF, Meetme, Badoo and fetlife

>too ugly and socially awkward that the only way I can get laid is by using hookers

At least I get fucked right...

>easy lays

I feel you dude. MeetMe and PoF are havens for trashy bitches. I feel like Tinder and OKCupid girls are too fucking high maintenance and cunty. But if I were actually trying to find "love", whatever the fuck that is, I'd probably use one of those.

>most of the decent looking girls on PoF in my area all have 1+ kids
>the rest want sugar daddies

goddamn, how did online dating get so fucked?

5~ years ago I could find at least a 7/10 single girl with no kids on craigslist to date and she was actually legit.

so trashy

PoF has a solid mix, but most of the not trash are actually looking for relationships.

Tbh i wish i knew how to meet women irl

HAHAHAH GOD DAMN I KNOW RIGHT IT'S FUCKING HILARIOUS AHAHAHAHHAHAHAH

Kek, niggers

Nah they're complete ruined. Her nips look horrible now

Wanna know how? Let me tell you how.
1) Wear icebreakers. Do you like One Piece? Wear a fucking one piece hat. Wear your interests.
2) That way, a bitch can be like "do you like One Piece?" Or "Do you like anime?"
And then you be like YEAH :D
3) Soften up your fuckin face aint no bitch gonna approach your creepy lookin ass with your fap bags under your eyes
4) get out and do shit to increase the odds of bumping into pussy (gym, bookstore, bar, whatever)
5) add them on the most popular social networking thing at the time. If snapchat is hot, ask to get their snapchat. Dont be that guy..You got a myspace?" Or you can be like me since I attract nerd bitches with my swag I'll just add em on PS4 and get their number on there later
6) you hang out together/bond. Go for a walk somewhere, be FIT. Ususlly places where you walk eventually have places you can sit. Sit, reflect, and maybe get that kiss in.
7) every girl wants/needs dick deep inside, its just that girls want to be acquainted with you first. So now that your acquainted, get her back to your place or hers and go deep inside with no condom because congrats, you just fucked a non-tinderslut

Has Eva done anal?

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Beat me too it. Would gladly pay a G or 2 for those tiddies

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>straw hats being referred to as One Piece hats
I can take solace in the fact that One Piece will never be popular enough in the states for you neckbeards to ruin one of the only things I enjoy in life.

Git to the fucc

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Good advice bro, especially the ice breaker one. From my personal experience, the more esoteric and specific I've made my profile on dating sites, the better quality my matches become. Especially if your hobby is cringe worthy (e.g. you cosplay at cons, write final fantasy fan fiction, draw furry porn, etc) and you proudly display it, you'll turn off most girls, but really turn on a small number of girls who are also into what you're into and who will happily jump on your dick (or peg you in the boipussy as you're likely a faggot)

>her old tits
F

POST THE REST OF IT

anyone want moar?

fuck that site

literally trailer trash tier but its just as bad as OKC

I dont want a nerd bitch

jesus fuck reddit leave

I want a wife, i live in a small town

how do you met women outside of bars

I only opened up this thread because of the comic.

here you go lads will be dumping more

skout was decent 2 years ago now its all fakes

>tfw can start a convo with anyone
>tfw picture message right off the bat

Methinks thou art a general offence, and every man should beat thee.

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>literal cuck porn

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>dating app
>grills show off as much skin as possible
>titties almost out
>wears tight pants and shows off ass
"why dees niggas so thirsty tho"

But is he gonna creampie her is the question.
ARE YOU A REAL MAN, BILLY?

hey guys I'm about to fuck a trap, any advice?

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shitimbald

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no tits? come on now

just you wait desu

there will be moar

That has to be so awkward in real life. Some other dude jizzes all over her face and chest while your ducking her missionary. Like you're literally inches away from laying in a pool of jizz and you have to be so careful where you put your hands. Not to mention that if you're hitting her straight on, the other guys stomach or chest is probably right in your face.

You know what.
Gangbangs are pretty fucking homo.

this is fit what did you expect?