Veeky Forums life lessons

What did you learn in your self improvement journey, Veeky Forums?

>Squats and deads for your abs is a meme
>"Cheat days" are the ghost of you not making it
>All women love being treated like children and are easily manipulated
>Literally all women.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=nrF4bv6Z6ec
nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html?_r=0
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

>>Squats and deads for your abs is a meme

It's not a meme faggot. Just don't use a belt.

>All women love being treated like children and are easily manipulated

Basic bitches are most like this.

I already don't use a belt, faggot.

>be flirting with a girl at a party
>eventually get to to a point where I can say something sly, and the girl pretend slaps and punches me
>proceed to play fight and always end up throwing girl over shoulder in a fireman carry and walk around a few steps

I've been doing this for 7 years and always leads somewhere. When do these bitches grow up.

Literally never desu

cool thread

Teach me how to manipulate bby

Then you're not lifting heavy enough, faggot.

>implying a belt doesn't work abs harder
>implying squats/deads aren't shit for abs either way

best case scenario they contract isometrically to increase intraabdominal pressure.

it's mostly the transverse abdominus that does that anyway, which isn't a superficial muscle.

There's literally no impressing you, faggot.

Not even sure if serious.

When you meet them, pull the rug from under them. Make it sound like she has to do the work to fuck/be around you. Don't immediately reply, ever. Don't text her just to shoot the shit, and don't ever, ever put her on a pedestal and start showering her in affection or she'll just act like a cunt. I have literal proof that this works on any woman thats show even slight interest in you.

Shame bump

All females are sluts

That OP has spoken to very few women.

>don't believe the greek yoghurt meme

that stuff actually tastes like off yoghurt... it's too sour, or something.

>Treat women as if they were just another dude
Whoa dude, you should write a book or something. I don't think anyone has realized that!

says the dipshit that doesn't lift

I've been doing this naturally, didn't realise it was all "manipulation"

No one gives enough of a fuck sbout you to judge you. You're just a narcissistic piece of shit.

It's fucking gross kek

That's not what he said you moron
Treat a woman like a dude and she'll treat you like a 'friend' at best

>starts Veeky Forums related thread
>carefully shoehorns /r9k/ agenda in at the end

They're getting smarter.

NOT TO WANK ON THE SAME DAY YOU HAVE A DATE

>That's not what he said, you moron

So... you DO chase other men for replies, text them incessantly just to chat and put them on pedestals?

greek yogurt is god tier

kys

Not that guy, but this is what i do with my bros. Because they're my bros. Bro.

But thats the thing...they have to be interested :(

IF YOUR JOINTS START HURTING TAKE A WEEK OFF

FUCK

This. I call my bros sometimes just so that I can hear his voice.

Nah, just more cunning
If they were smarter then they'd realise they just need to get a bit of money, fly to Thailand to fix their faces, work out properly and then not treat women like bros if they want pussy

Chick's love when you act like you own them.

>yelled at gf last night, super angry
>said she was scared I would hit her
>hatefucked and choked her
>this morning she was super horny
>she told me she wants to be my wife

sounds like a healthy relationship...heh...

Tried pushing through chest pain on dips

Plz dont ever do this

You'd better yourself if you learned proper form during that week

FUCK

Eh, we work out 4xweek together.
Don't see anything wrong with it.

Why were you yelling at her like a literal child?

Well I wasn't actually yelling, more stern very angry voice.

>she has started to message a male co-worker outside of work hours

wouldn't want her to make any friends of the opposite gender haha, she might leave your abusive ass for someone who treats her right.

>mfw thinking of your gf hurting

Get ready to be cucked m8.

in 2016, girls don't want to go on dates, be treated nice, have security, they want your credit card number and to be choked, spat on during sex

okay? keep telling yourself that man...

Kek nah lad, she was only responding to him asking about her shifts.

>mfw I know you're lonely

Righto buddy

This is factually correct, unless you want a boring chick who you have vanilla sex with

sad but true my friend

Shouldn't be too abusive too often though.
Still have to get them gifts, cuddle them ect

Those are for your bros.

Indeed, full homo

Successful relationships are literally calculated neglect.

>mfw I figured this out
>mfw landed me a qt3,14159265 who used to treat her ex like shit because he didn't have a pair
>mfw she's submissive as fuck to me

I always found it hard to believe that treating girls like princesses was a bad thing, but jesus christ it's amazing what a little self-respect and assertiveness can do in a relationship.

poast tips

I'm basically just LARPing as a salafi atm but think it might be a little too autistic

Don't you realize why girls keep going out with the "bad boys" while the fedora neckbeards who try to court them are left sitting in their room to jack off to porn?

They crave that shit, man. If you're gonna act like a pussy in a relationship, she's gonna pick up on that and you'll be out on the streets in no time. Trust me bro

>have tinder date last night
>take her for a ride on my motorcycle
>get chased by the cops, get away with her on the back
>she's still texting me

Confirmed.

>"Cheat days" are the ghost of you not making it

This, god damn it's cheat meals, and you factor in the calories.

Entire cheat days can erase a weeks progress.

Also train your obliques.

Thats not really true. You flex your abdomen during both squats and deads, it impossible to keep your abdomen rigid during the whole movment. Thus you work rectus abdominus in one way or another. I guess you dont get the same effect as if you do movments like hanging leg raises, but still. You work your whole abdomen. Not just the transversus abdominus. I jsut squatted and deadlifted for several years, and still could rep our like 20 reps of haning leg raises.

actually it's quite opposite for me, it relieves my sexual tension thus making me less horny and easier to keep up conversation and not sperg out

>Cucked

>Show her she's not your #1 priority, this is more important than you think
>When she pulls some shit that is not okay, call her out on it immediately and in a serious manner.
>Show her that you're ready to walk away from the relationship at a whim's notice (early on, at least)

Man I feel really fedora writing this shit out. It just kinda comes naturally to me. Good rule of thumb is: Have more respect for yourself than for your girlfriend. Don't ever sacrifice yourself for your girl. It might seem like a "chivalrous" thing to do but it won't help you in the long run at all.

Try not to continuously bathe your girlfriend in attention and affection either. Keep that for certain occasions.

Idk man there's probably more stuff I can come up with but that's all I can say for now. Just try not to take the things I posted as a golden rule but try them out without overdoing it. You gotta find a balance, y'know?

how to train obliques

You. I like you.

Buy the strawberry or blueberry kind or get plain and mix a vanilla bean through it

youtube.com/watch?v=nrF4bv6Z6ec

Yes all of this.

>also if she keeps asking for you to buy her something don't fucking buy it. If you actually want to buy it for her then wait until she stops asking for it. Then wait a week. If she mentions it again don't buy it.

>be the captain of your ship. Not a deckhand

I told her to quit her studies and not to leave my apartment without my supervision, confiscated her phone also. did not go as well as I hoped

there is a limit. You need to spread that out at least over 5 months

>build up to servant mode

she also seemed to respond very well to my long lectures about the satanic nature of the female race initially but then stopped after a while, idk what I did wrong, even bought her a burka and everything

Obviously you weren't in depth enough with your lectures

I kept it to ~30 minutes per day to accommodate the female intellect

Yeah like I said don't overdo it.
What you did isn't likely to work on a lot of girls m8. She shouldn't feel trapped.

>She shouldn't feel trapped.
But that is almost exactly how I want the disgusting whore to feel, insha'Allah.

>be fatass, didn't care until I saw 101kg on a scale
>go to Veeky Forums read a sticky, lost 10kg in 3 months just by eating less, doing cardio and remove junk food
>family impressed by my weightloss, motivated to eat healthier and move more
>49yo dad motivated too much
>he decides to NOT eat ANYTHING at all
>tell him that's stupid idea, he does it anyway
>his only meal is literally 3 slices of bread and ham on it one day a week
>he lost 10kg in two weeks, making comments on that so much to made me jelly I suppose
>thisgonnaendbad.jpg

>another two weeks later
>mom call me at work to come because dad almost collapsed, WhoWouldExpectThat.png
>arrived at parents house, dad all pale, mom said to go to the bathroom
>he shitted massive amount of congealed blood in the toilet (which he thought it was just liquid shit)
>ambulance, ER stuff
>turns out his stomach acids having nothing better to do, decided to go on tour to duodenum and damage an ulcer on the occasion.
>Ulcer opened and made internal bleeding, dad after taking shit lost blood pressure and almost collapsed.
>by the time of medical check, ulcer was already healing and didn't make more bleeding, which was lucky as shit
>mfw dad said I was right

He was two-three weeks in hospital (and had his 50 birthday there) to reproduce blood (can't remember how much he lost). Don't do idiot "diets"

ps. Sorry for text mistakes, english is not my native language

>tfw I actually did manipulate my ex into dropping out of college and giving me her phone and laptop
Honestly you can pretty much do whatever the fuck you want once they fall in love with you, I bet even if I'd murdered her entire family she would have cried but still helped me dispose of the bodies

how to do this successfully

>Kek nah lad, she was only responding to him asking about her shifts.

Yeah, sure bro, "shifts"

The manipulation part or the falling in love part?

both?

Guys, how hard should one grab an ass while sucking a dick? Proper gripped this dudes cheeks and I hope I didn't freak him out.

you should only let him penetrate between your thighs or else it's gay bro

>Implying

There wasn't enough resistance, soft butt and hard belly. Should get him to the gym...

Idk that's a pretty elaborate thing to explain in a Veeky Forums post.

Manipulation is pretty easy once you get the hang of it, Charles Manson had the right idea, he read "how to win friends and influence people" and so should you. Just start with tiny little requests and then slowly build up to more and more demanding things until before you know it she's killed Sharon Tate for you.

The same principle applies to seducing grills, start with light nonsexual touches on her forearm then work your way up to her shoulders, things, neck, face, titties, pussy ect.

This link is interesting, it's a bunch of questions designed by psychologists to induce the most rapport with someone in the shortest period of time, don't be autistic and recite them to a girl word for word but try to make your conversation topics closer to these questions than the standard "where are you from? what do you study? what are your hobbies?" ect
nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html?_r=0

How much do you squat and deadlift?

1. False
2. False
3. 90% of them

>implying girls want a healthy relationship

>work in kindergarten
>taught me more about pulling chicks than anything else
OP speaks the truth

fuark man. I'll start working with retarded kids aged 10-18 in a few months. Think it's gonna work too?

>Do this
>Every girl stops texting
Oh boy, I wish I was good looking and naive

I think we are all forgetting the most important part: you have to be Chad to do this. The only way this shit is gonna work is if you're attractive. Otherwise, this will work about as much as the typical PUA advice spouted by fedora wearing neck beards.

woman do not know what they want despite letting you know they're sure

Who knows. Depends on what lessons you take from doing the job. Some of the things I learned that works on girls is
1. No matter your mood or emotions, don't let it influence your attitude
2. Have clear cut rules/limits (aka don't take any bullshit)
3. Lower yourself to their level (no one likes feeling inferior) but be capable of taking charge when needed
4. Smile and be pleasant (Don't show that empty void inside you that craves love and recognition)
5. Talk about the things they like and feign interest in their lives
6. Use physcial contact to make them feel cared about (in kindergarten this includes lap sitting, hugs and being carried, but unless you want to be a creepy faggot, take it further than that with girls)
7. Pretend not to be dead on the inside

My gf has had several dreams were I've murdered people, often for no reason at all and she's helped me escape from the police and hide evidence etc.

pretty much what I did when I had my visitation there.
Can't wait for the social gainz.

Hence it's worthless, because chad's already do this shit and if they dont, girls already throw themselves at them and they have choice in their huge social circle

I've learned that you should always have a wank beforehand, if you don't feel like it after said wank then chances are you would later come to regret fucking the person.

not necessarily, I have a below average looking friend who has two girls he could call up any time and he literally calls them "bitches" to their face.

Also he can fuck pretty much everyone he wants despite being skelly and, as I said not really good looking.

Thanks for that brilliant insight, Internet attention seeker. Take off that name, or fuck off

this is very true, keeps you from having sex with undesirable girls, who will then tell their friend circles you had sex with them, making it much harder for you to fuck girls in those circles who you do desire.

>“Heard joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor...I am Pagliacci.”

Man, I feel real sorry for you if you feel that dead on the inside. I know how to keep myself active, and have a solid date lined up for a few days from now, but I can't pretend that I know what to tell you. Good luck man, we're all gonna make it.

I text my guy friends just to shoot the shit. And I'll do something like run them a favor because I know they'll get me back. I won't throw them under the rug for a woman either (bros before hoes)

Do you not have friends or something? This is bro 101

>7. Pretend not to be dead on the inside

hardest part, eventually everyone realizes why you don't have any feelings at all

Since when did Veeky Forums turn into the redpill? It's great- this is what /r9k/ could be if they didn't feel sorry for themselves

mirin that vascularity and traps, no homo.