Anyone Else HATE This Shit?

>fat dude at work notices that I'm in shape
>confronts me and asks me about my routine and diet
>says he wants to get in shape and "tone up" for the summer
>give him my workout routine and diet framework
>proceeds to tell me "yeah user, you shouldn't be eating x, y and z. I read an article online that it's bad for you. Lifting heavy is also really bad for your joints and tendons. I wouldn't squat anymore either, how are you gonna play with your children when you get older?"
>proceeds to walk off and go about his business

Why do people do this? They ask for advice then proceed to literally argue with you about everything you tell them. What the fuck is this? From here on out I'm going to deny that I eat well/go to the gym.

By asking for advice they want to know your "secret" even though there is no secret. Just tell them what they want to hear and say shit like "yeah i did zumba twice a week".

fucking this

I just say I eat what I want and just have good genetics.

people like that aren't worth the time of day, just say you jog and sometimes go to the gym and do some bench and a few curls. they're never going to put any effort into improving so you shouldn't bother putting any effort into explaining to them how to improve, it's a complete waste of your time.

psychological operations.

he doesn't want to get fit. he's trying to undermine your lifestyle.

be grateful he didn't report you to HR for fat shaming him.

This has never happened to me because I'm DYEL, but it seems obvious that this person was just trying to strike up a conversation about something an interest that he thought he would have in common with you, and did not expect to be confronted with ideas that contradicted his own. Typical, small minded behavior.

Never give random fatties/coworkers good advice unless they're your close friends

Say something retarded like nah I just run and go to the gym once a week

yeah dude I'm done with trying to help them. Just gonna make up some outlandish shit like I take pregnant woman pilates classes

"Well, that's my routine and I look like this."

It's pretty much implied that you're telling him you don't want his assho- I mean opinion if you say that.

If you're really ticked off or just don't care too much, follow it up with asking him about his routine. Even if he doesn't workout, he has a routine that has put him in a place to be asking for advice from others because he's not happy with his body.

You're in a position of power if someone comes to you for advice: It means that they aren't able to achieve what you have easily enough that they have to ask you how you do it.

Don't let that power slip, user.

This. These people don't want to hear that they have to work hard to look like you. Just blow them off with meme-science.

The problem is that OP might want to be a good guy and help people out. Some people are genuinely curious and might actually follow some of your steps (I would never translate my workout 100% onto someone else; everyone needs to contour their workout to themselves)
.
You can't always tell that the person is going to be a sack of shit until they start spewing that shit right at you.

I agree with you, I'm just commenting on how unfortunate I believe the circumstances are.

I cannot stand the fucking "what's your secret?" question. I just want to say I give a fuck, that's my secret.

I just tell them "i count calories and go to the gym 6 days a week"

They usually shut right up or say shit like "that sounds awful!" and then i never hear about it again.

Just tell them "I'm more scared of waking up a fat slob than I am of diet and excersise." They'll be too busy mentally slapping them self on the back for not being scared of anything to realize that you just insulted them to their face.

t. autismo

What?

Did something I write not agree with your special beliefs?

Ever seen the prestige?
The trick impresses everyone. The secret impresses no one. They'll beg you and flatter you for it, but once you give it up you'll be nothing to them.
Just say I work out a few times a week. What him worship you like a god. Finished.

This sounds plausible

lol you should have just lied and said you don't lift

t. autismo

it was actually you who had it all along. strange how life plays tricks on you.

I almost agree with this, but I'm not sure if OP was being aggressive or condesending in his interaction. A lot of posters around here, especially those stuck inside their heads, are itching to talk down to people they meet in real life to boost their own ego and feel just a bit better about their own situation. I feel they're begging for a negative interaction to lift them up since that's what their self-talk teaches them to seek.

See, FPH posters, K/V posters etc.

Trips for truth, and the truth doesn't hurt this time around

If people want advice and start to argue i immediately say if you dont want advice dont ask, you want me to continue? They still dont listen but it shuts them up

the real secret is hating your body no matter what you look like

>Summer
2017?

...

hate yourself*

> "hey user do you go to the gym?"
> "no i just do yoga"
> "Oh.."

Then they usually walk away, in disgust mostly.

Showing people how to improve increases the standards, you want to be AT LEAST above average.

this desu desu

>zumba

anything less faggy you can tell them?

The point is to say some bullshit you idiot

I just meditate until my metabolism is where I want it. Open your third eye, brah

holy shit. after that, they'd deem you as the mystical one. you would have everyone asking you about horoscopes and palm reading bullshit.

and yoga

Or maybe you could tell them that you eat a single food. They would fall for that. Tell them you eat spinach with most meals.

This. Everyone that sticks to fitness long term is fueled by self hatred and/or mental illness

Fuck. I'm going to use that. If they doubt me, I'll just say: "look at me, of course it works."

why don't you just tell them they're wrong and that you know much more than them? it's fun especially because they can never back up anything they say

The problem is, these people tend to be co-workers or employers. Unfortunately, you livelyhood depends on these types of people. Honestly, them being uninformed is one of so many barriers and obstacles.

Spot on.

>After waking up yell at fat, lazy, dyel piece of shit in the mirror.
>stand for 5mins under the coldest shower and go drink kale asparagus juice.

Use Ghee butter, do yearly water and juice cleanse.
>Your mind can bend your body in ways you wouldn't believe.

>I cannot stand the fucking "what's your secret?"

>IT guy at work is a bit odd, like, something is off about him
>has twitches, occasional panic attacks he tries to hide ect
>he's also super fit
>somebody asked him "so, what's your secret? we all know you have one"
>"i'd uh, really rather not talk about it,
>"come on, just tell us, we're all dying to know, we've been talking about it for weeks"
>"well, years ago, i was working as an English teacher, and the school was attacked by Islamic militants, and i stabbed one of them in the neck with a pair of scissors when he came into my class, and i just kept stabbing and stabbing until next thing i knew i was surrounded by police who stormed the building, i had stabbed him over 50 times and was completely covered in blood"

the girls don't come down to the IT department anymore after that

>Oh you work out? I used to bench 3pl8 for reps, then I hurt my shoulder.

>Back in highschool
>back in college
>no, i don't have any pictures

Here's what you do OP:

>I'm sorry, I don't offer fitness advice - we're all different after all.

accurate

and thus chad was born boys

>not making money off shit co-workers by telling them you'll be their personal trainer
All you have to do is meet them at the park, have em run/walk for a bit, and make them feel like they are doing something about themselves.

I don't find that at all. I've been lifting for 6 months, slower progress than most since I don't eat or sleep enough, but I'm loving being kinda fat and yet increasingly strong at the same time. being a small builtfat at 170lbs feels like a million bucks compared to being 220lbs. idk man I'm really loving weightlifting even if my lifts are still shit. the changes are all worth it.

Well. That was definitely a secret lol.

This, and, when someone asks for advice or your routine and proceeds to completely change it.

I had a friend ask for my routine etc, he changed the deadlift's, squats, pendlay, bench, ohp, etc, for high rep schemes on what he thought the machine equilivent was.

>Oh you work out? I have a friend who benches 3pl8 for reps.

>How much do you bench?
>Oh I used to bench a conveniently placed higher number than you back in high school when I used to do a very popular sport in the region where I grew up.

I have a guest pass at the gym, want to see where you stand now?

>Oh I conveniently left out that I had an injury in my *insert excusable body part here* so I can't work out anymore.

I've made a game out of this fucking nonsense by just quoting a random number between 300 and 500 (in kilograms) whenever anyone asks. If they call bullshit I know that they at least KNOW what the reasonable numbers are.

If not I get the satisfaction of knowing they're a moron when I claim I can bench 320kg and they claim they used to do 350 back in the day.

Will you post hatemyself1.png?

Hey that's my morning routine!